Come Here and Let Me Show You My Charts

All of this was pure luck. I just happened to be at the right place just at the right time. I take no credit, whatsoever, for these mountainous returns. Anyone could’ve done it — even a retard.

You didn’t actually think I’d post charts did you? We’re not infants here — no need have visuals to confirm what we already know; my stocks are fantastically higher. And guess what? They’re about to go higher.

Sure, I’m up ~13% on PS — chump change. And I’m riding MDB into earnings tonight, and PVTL is shooting higher, and CBLK is getting virile and looking rapish, and SHAK continues its sojourn into a world filled with unicorns and marshmallow clouds of cocaine.

I’ll sell when I’m good and ready. Shit is about to get MONGO to the upside.

The Dow is up nearly 300 and somehow I feel like we’re just getting started. This is what euphoria looks like. Remember these days good and well because the other side of this is apathy and bleakness — losses and fucking graveyards with assholes whistling by them.

All of my stocks are up, some +3%, others +0.7%; but they’re all up.

Our Quant strategy in Exodus crushed it yesterday, up nearly 1%. What are you doing with your portfolios?

Yeah, I thought so. Keep charging 1% per annum for AUM and let’s see how long it takes for all of your clients to fire you.

I stepped in and bought PS this morning. $30 or die.

Tonight I’m riding MDB into earnings — 14x sales, wilding out with 40 ounces of malted liquor, spinning my wheels on the faces of so many enemies, across vast swaths of clay.

You’d be wise to not bet against me. I literally cannot be stopped.

A fellow trader of ours and avid participant inside Exodus, DMFRacer, recently passed, succumbed to cancer. I’ve never done this on the site and I’m not trying to shame any of you to donating money you don’t have; but I feel like we can make a difference in the lives of his children — a small kindness to offset all of the hurt they must be feeling now.

If you want to donate, David’s wife set up a Gofundme page here.

If anyone who didn’t know him from the site, I did a write up here when he passed.

One of you will find this useful, act on the information, and make some money off it. I am literally doing God’s work here — helping small plebs become healthier, smarter, and wealthier. Who else is doing that for you in your lives?

Dow futures are +145, but Nasdaq is weak, barely up 5. Whatever. Truth is, I hope I lose money today — handicap this shit so others can catch up — make it interesting. Right now it’s first round knock-outs on every match. It’d be nice to make it into the 3rd or 4th rd, box a little, get punched in the nose — in order to truly enjoy the victories to come.

After the market closed, freshly spun off from YY, Huya, crushed numbers — sending the stock way up. You have nothing to say — because I bit your face off like the Miami Zombie. You’re all reading this shit — thinking this or that — but lack the internal fortitude to say anything. Do you know why you stay silent? Because you can’t compete.

Recent IPO HUYA lifting in extended trade following earnings/guidance (no estimates) (29.72 +0.02)

Reports Q1 Non-GAAP net income of RMB67.6 mln (US$10.8 mln) vs non-GAAP net loss of RMB34.7 mln in the same period of 2017. Total net revenues +111.5% to RMB843.6 mln (US$134.5 mln). Total number of paying users reached 3.4 mln, representing an increase of 34.9% from 2.5 mln in the first quarter of 2017.

Expects Q2 total net revenues +110.2-116.7% y/y to RMB970 -1,000 mln. In addition, the Company expects to have a fair value loss on derivative liabilities of preferred shares amounting to ~ RMB2.3 bln due to an increase in enterprise value indicated by the price of the initial public offering.

YY reported and beat too.

YY beats by $0.18, beats on revs; sees Q2 revs +38-41.8% y/y (121.00 +1.01)

Reports Q1 (Mar) earnings of $1.72 per ADS, excluding items, $0.18 better than the Capital IQ Consensus of $1.54; revenues of $518 mln vs the $489.3 mln Capital IQ Consensus.

Business Outlook: Expects Q2 net revenues of RMB3.6 billion and RMB3.7 billion, representing a year-over-year growth of 38.0% to 41.8%. In addition, the Company expects to have a fair value loss on derivative liabilities, which is related to preferred shares of HUYA Inc. (HUYA) amounting to ~RMB2.3 billion due to an increase in HUYA Inc.’s enterprise value as indicated by the price of its initial public offering, which will cause a negative net income attributable to YY Inc. in the second quarter of 2018.

What does this mean for us?

Chinese stocks are gonna be fire tomorrow. I’m talking BILI, IQ, HUYA, YY — as well as my new positions SOGO and QD. The whole sector’s gonna be lit.

Then, after the close, MDB is gonna fucking crush to the upside. Shorts are gonna get their heads ran over by speeding motor cycles and I’m gonna be laughing at them from the back of my 1980s style stretch limo, as their brains spill out onto the curb.

That’s the game plan. No one can stop it.

Coming off big ball’d wins in so many stocks, I’ve decided to do it again — long MDB into tomorrow’s earnings.

Here’s the part where you tell me how great your charts look and your systems and how the bull market is treating everyone equally. Truth is, some are treated more equally than others and I am taking my fair share of this bull market at a rapidly increasing rate.

Nothing can stop me. Fuck the stock Gods. I am the new stock God. I cannot lose. Clenched fists filled with cocaine punching you in the fucking face.

The fuck out of here — that’s pussy talk. If you’re just tuning in, this bloggery was written in the 1950s and buried in a fucking time capsule. I hope it could one day be opened up and read out loud, in the city square, for all those interested in stocks to hear. If you’re listening to this now, under-developed monkey brained men and women, then you’re feverishly in search of more money. Because once you get more money, your lives will be better, yes?

Why, you’ll be able to buy new shoes, bags, pants, DUNGAREES (see I really am from the 50s), and all sorts of lovely items — like guitars and drum sets.

Life is moribund without a good meatloaf supper, a tall glass of milk, drenched in ketchup. Eat your stringed beans too — they’ll put hair on your cocks. Imagine women with cocks, funny. It’ll never happen.

Anyways, I have to go now — Johnny wants to go play some catch down in the alleyway, where the other boys are playing sticked ball. Just the other day, I had to throw one of them a beatin’ for looking at me sideways. The cop on patrol asked me to kindly stop throwing random kids beatings, especially since they’re not my children. I got off on a warning. Irish mick bastard.

I’m hearing IBM is a good company, working on some new computing machine, and all of the fellas at the bowling alley like Coca-Cola. That Pepsi stuff is absolute shit; trust me, Ty Cobb vouched by that statement.

I just wanted to alert all of you that I am en route to the local gymnasium where disheveled bums are not found — because the monthly rate is too high.

Also, I wear gloves, as to avoid germs and also callouses. Truth be told, I grew up swinging from trees and playing baseball my whole life. You think your gym callouses are bad — I was born into a world of hurtful callouses, swinging bats made of wood that was so bad they gave me splinters in my fucking callouses. Bats would break and we couldn’t afford new ones, so we swung the broken bats, holding together the chards with our bare hands. Upon contact, said chards would bleed into our hands — but we were happy because the hardball went fast, breaking thru car windows in the lot — providing us with homeruns.

You know what else I do? I only drink bottled water — because the tap water at the gym tastes like shit and I can afford the $3 splurge. Oh, sometimes I even eat the fancy food made at my gym — because there’s a fucking restaurant and cafe there too. It’s expensive and not very tasty, but I buy it anyway.

One last thing. I also use machines. I know true gymFAGS only use free weights, because of balance and bro-science, but I also use machines when doing certain exercises. Due to an elbow injury, I can’t bench heavy without the my elbow snapping, causing the bar to decapitate my head, so I use machines.

In addition to that, I drink coffee at Starbucks, lattes most of the time, and have been known to wear a pink shirt, especially when in Newport, RI, enjoying champagne and finger foods.

You fucking faggots.

With a portion of the proceeds from previous sales, I stepped in and bought CBLK and QD. I bought the both of them, not because I like them or because they’re great companies, but because they’re going — the fuck — higher.

Sold SMAR (doubled up position) +26%, sold ZUO +21%, sold IQ +32%, sold HUBS +10%.

I made a few purchases. I’ll let them marinate for a little bit and then post them here later.

Ciao.