Moving Day — A Tactical Shift to Cash

I cashed in some of my chips today, opting for cash as I will be busy the next few days with my move to NC.

I sold STMP +5.7%

AYX +4.7% (OVERNIGHTER)

OKTA +4.3%

DRIP -1.8%

Considering this ball breaker of a market, the ding in DRIP is wholly acceptable.

More later, maybe. Fucking busy here you know.

You get me angry, always trying to doubt the Blog Father and his divine powers. No one was up on gold before me, except for that fucker Schiff. I told you, I told yoooooo to get involved with dat.

Gold is breaking out. Commodities look fine. Things are tenuous with markets, but also fine.

I like commodities here.

I have already booked my EVER overnighter and now I took two more trades. Nothing can stop me, not even gravity itself.

You don’t need to learn how to fish. All you have to do is sit there in your recliner seat, turn on the computer screen, and watch the master commit wonderful acts of magic in the market.

Yesterday at approximately 3:13pm eastern standard time, “The Fly” stepped into the market and bought EVER and one other stock that cannot be mentioned on here, the homeless free version of the site. Members of the Exodus platform were alerted to this greatness and people barreled in by the dozens for free fish.

Early this morning, “The Fly” sold EVER for an annualized return of 1,360%, or 5.4% overnight — because that’s just how these things work out these days. The other stock is still on the books, and profitable, alongside the many gold miners that I keep. It’s important that everyone eats in order to live. Some will teach you how to fish — because they’re selfish and evil. I only ask that you know how to chew, as I toss FREE FISH onto your platter all day long.

Markets will go higher and gold is on my radar today — because yields are lower.

More on this later.

Listen to me. All of this hooplas about trade wars and fucking recessions will have to take a backseat, now that we’ve got the engine running again. I do change my mind on a daily basis, to move swiftly with the winds of the market’s mood. Do not get angry at Le Fly, but instead embrace his changeability as a keen weathervane of these here markets.

Are you qualified to offer me financial advice?

No, absolutely not.

I do this shit professionally, while you merely shit-trade. This is like comparing some fucktards art class project to a Turner. Makes no sense. Take your Jackson Pollack ass the fuck out of here and bear witness to the power and the glory of “The Fly” as he ramshackles and swashbuckles throughout this market with Japanese ginsu knife precision.

I took two trades for today, after selling PAYS for +10.8% and ENPH for overnight success. Today’s overnighter is guaranteed for profit — if not I vow on all that is religious — I will cut off my own cock.

I sold PAYS for a 10.8% win and my overnighter ENPH for a 1.6% win. Annualize that, motherfuckers.

You might not like the manner in which I speak to you, but you will respect it.

Lots of shit going on today, like the President of Denmark talking greasy AF — not wanting to cede over Greenland to America. This, as you know, is unacceptable.

“Greenland is not for sale. Greenland is not Danish. Greenland belongs to Greenland. I strongly hope that this is not meant seriously,” Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen

White House economic adviser Larry Kudlow on Sunday confirmed media reports earlier in the week that Trump had privately discussed with his advisers the idea of buying Greenland.

“I don’t want to predict an outcome, I’m just saying the president, who knows a thing or two about buying real estate, wants to take a look at a Greenland purchase,” Kudlow told Fox News.

Dow futures are up nearly 300, because men with balls stepped in and did what was right for the world. Gold, however, is sharply lower — off by 1% — because men with balls stepped away from gold and into other items of interest.

On Friday, I stepped in and purchased several stocks, all which shall propel higher today. This is not me patting myself on the back. This is simply facts, undeniable truths that cannot be debated.

Am I the best trader in America living today?

Yes.

Can you hold a candle to me?

No.

We live in a complex world of trans-gendered animal like creatures circumventing the globe. You should find solace in the fact this blog is binary — laying out the facts in plain black and white instead of ball-juggling testicles like some of the other finance bloggers out there.

Have a prosperous day!

Every single time markets look like they’re through, finished, finite, BAM! — they come racing back. The same shit happened last week, led higher by the Nasdaq.

Yes, Exodus did nail that motherfucker to the exact day, straight flexing and bowling on all of you third tier bloggers out there who think they have a system.

You don’t have a system, fucked face. I have a system, rooted in the sublime harmony of mathematical precision.

Lots of noise to consider when investing in this game. This isn’t for the faint of heart, or most women with a low tolerance for scary shit. It does get scary out there and men are a necessary evil to fight thru that malevolence. There’s a lot of fucked up shit going on in the world and I realize women need big powerful men to make then feel safe. Just know, “The Fly” is that menacing anti-hero you’ve been looking for, although I am not single. I repeat, “The Fly” is not single, a happily married man dealing with the tumult of an otherwise moribund existence, intermittently interrupted by heinous household maladies and stock market victories.

CHEERS TO VICTORIES!

Trump wanting to buy Greenland is genius, especially since global warming will make it a nice tropical destination in the future. I hope that will acquire it and begin developing large casinos on it.

I had a splendid day, after all. My Quant was +1.75% and my dick swung real low into the rally, as I position into 4 new stocks — having sold out of my harebrained SOXS debacle. While it’s true, I still have plenty of gold, I’m not in the least bit concerned about them trending lower for any meaningful amount of time.

Heading into next week, one should expect a revival of animal spirits and a meaningful push higher, as fresh spirits and a clean outlook on life grab hold of the peanut sized brains of traders.

I will be toiling away all day and night, cramming items into boxes and tossing nonsense into the trash. I will have you know that moving is a terrible terrible affliction.

Be well and good day.

Let’s review today’s market together and my moves, shall we?

NVDA guided LOWER for next quarter, stock surged.

Me: FUCKED.

Like a moron, I bought SOXS because I wanted to ‘hedge.’

I just kicked it out for a 6.9% loss.

Yields a slightly higher and gold is off by 0.7%.

Me: FUCKED.

I own a slew of miners and I just bought NUGT yesterday. I’m not selling here, because the night is dark and filled with terrors — but fucked nonetheless.

It should be noted, and it will be noted here now, the Exodus oversold algorithms called the bottom to the exact day again.

Me: FUCKED.

I was long TQQQ on this news, but kicked it out for a 1.9% loss, only to see it scream higher today. At this point, members of the Pelican Room are operating independently and without my sage advice.

Let’s see what else I have the fuck going on.

I’ve got 8 stocks in my trading account up more than 2%, and one I bought yesterday +1.65%. Aside from NUGT, only one of my miners are down more than 2% — so you’re probably wondering why I’m making such a big deal over it. Well, I don’t like missing out and this isn’t an ordinary missing out either, since it’s a rare fete to see the system spit out an OS and it’s horrible enough to have a short semis ETF in the mix, let alone having levered up into gold on a down day.

My Quant portfolio, which is 75% of my money, is up 130BPS for the session.

What do I think markets will do next? It’s fairly obviously going higher. Why did you even ask that stupid question?

Fuck off.

TLT is nearing $147. You know what the means, motherfucker? It means shit is popping off in Fed land — people getting their whigs pushed back and BTFO.

Look at what the fucking NY Fed is posting on Twitter. These people are fucking morons.

One of the perks of living near the Bank? Every day is #Caturday as I get to spend extra time with my cats Margarita and Mojito. ?? #NYFedInterns #CatsOfTwitter pic.twitter.com/uD5Ufs7scF

— New York Fed (@NewYorkFed) August 15, 2019

So I got to thinking — maybe nothing is going to happen. Maybe this market will do a whole lot of nothing. Under those conditions, you might as well raise cash, hedge a little, and drink gimlets until Labor Day.

I am moving now, so I can’t drink too much. But I will partake in a gimlet or two.

Truth be told, this set up is confusing. LongTARDS will always buy until their faces get blow off clean. I am of the inclination that gold is the only asset worth buying all the time. Stocks are, for lack of a better word, dead. They have shot their load and are now coasting.

Worst case: NVDA misses earnings and the semis COLLAPSE tomorrow.

Best case: Trump tweets something wonderful and we blast off.

We are oversold and we can rally a solid 300 from here. Or, judging by the technicals, rates, and commodities, we can break lower and test the June lows — about 5% lower. If that happened, would it be the end of the world?

No.

Chill the fuck out and enjoy the scenery.