Tim Apple Pulls Les Grossman on Trump, Saves Markets

The USTR announced cell phones were a product of grave national security and have subsequently taken them off the Trump tariff list. So instead of forcing Tim Apple to produce phones here, Trump got Les Grossman’d by Tim — flatly told to STFU and to exclude them from his trade war, otherwise he’d go down there and lay down scorched earth on his orange rug. He laid down the law, more or less.

The United States Trade Representative office said Tuesday certain items were being removed from the new China tariff list because of “health, safety, national security and other factors” while tariffs on other items would be delayed until December 15.

The products in the group that will have tariffs delayed include “cell phones, laptop computers, video game consoles, certain toys, computer monitors, and certain items of footwear and clothing,” the USTR said.

Markets were weak. The 2 and 10yr bonds were about to invert. Now we’re up 400 and shorts are getting their faces blown the fuck off — courtesy of Apple — your savior and Lord.

Real quick late night back of the envelope food for thoughts analysis.

Back when gold was there shit, the price to sales ratio for RGLD was 22.8, presently 18.

The miners aren’t really priced for higher gold, in all actuality. As a point in fact, at 18x sales, RGLD is still 20-25 points cheap, according to the last valuation assigned to it during the last bull market in gold. In spite of the fact RGLD is +50% for the year, it’s still 20% undervalued. Some of the junior miners are 50-100% undervalued, based on historical comparisons.

Bottom line: get your dicks out and start going to work on these miners. Whenever the dip, pounce on them. If they rise and appreciate, sit back and smoke your estate pipe. DO NOT SELL. Only morons sell gold in the 2nd inning of an extra inning ballgame.

Good night, fucked faces.

I get a lot of pushback from you fuckers who want the party to keep going — cocaine fueled rampages throughout this economy of shit — all because of selfish reasons. I, on the other hand, want this to crash and fucking burn, for selfless reasons. I am completely detached from personal gain on this one and only want to see the Dow 10,000 points lower for the sake of my great grandchildren.

You selfish butt-plungers are just in this for a fast buck, then off to your parties and extravagant limousine lifestyles. “The Fly” is a man of steel, for the people, doing things for the people. The market is filled with froth and angst, inequality, and racism — which is why we need to crash eet now — leaving no survivors.

Sure, you can foray into the bids and profit from dips. You might even get to invest in an idea that pans out, like Tesla, and make a bundle. But the pyramid, lads, is upside down. The demographics are fucked, and so are the financials.

Starting tomorrow, I expect the market to buzz-saw the fuck lower.

Am I selling my stocks now?

Not all of them, for I am not retarded. But I do have cash and I am hedging. If you’re not thinking about playing defense with the 10yr at 1.64%, you’re mentally stupid and do not belong in this game here.

Listen to me: I am a Master Ace Stock Trade, doing fucking barrel rolls in the sky — defying the laws of gravity, providing the people in Exodus with stocks picks with balls the size of elephants. I lose some, but I win a lot more. If my intuition is telling me to sell short, I’ll do that. Do you know why — because that’s what winners do. We simply follow the trends and profit from the pain and misfortune of others.

In short, gold is the shit.

The 10 yr treasury is down almost 10bps to 1.64%. This is Great Depression styled deflation, yet no one seems to care. In classic credit meltdown mode, a South American country blew the fuck up. Contagion is next.

Hong Kong is going to be attacked by China and Trump is going to bomb Beijing with our poisonous hogs. This is all very biblical shit, yet we’re barely off the highs because so many of you fat fucks buy dips. You just can’t help yourselves.

But a serious and pointed question needs to be pointed to you.

Is this the end of western finance as we know it and is gold the only logical investment for gentlemen of Wall Street?

In case you have some friends in Argentina, just know they’re all poor now, unless they were short stocks heading into today. The Merval is down more than 30%. Their banks trading here cut in half. Their currency is for shit — off by 25%.

This has resulted in a minor blip of a sell off here, 250 points, which most believe is due to the protests in Hong Kong.  As for me, I booked an 8.4% profit in DOYU and a 3% loss in LK — a win by my standards. No big deal.

Going forward, I am 25% cash, 25% gold — waiting in the tall grass for fresh meat (no homo).

No one gives a shit about Argentina.

BONUS

Prices on Argentina's 100-year bonds are in free fall. pic.twitter.com/FfkExKWCpj

— Lisa Abramowicz (@lisaabramowicz1) August 12, 2019

The entire country is Hong Kong is melting the fuck down — because they really want our brand of Epstein-esque freedom — the same type of freedom so liberally delivered to Iraq and Afghanistan and many other countries who were fortunate enough to see the barrels of our tanks.

A little background, China has accused the US of fanning the flames — responsible for these protests.

A Chinese media shill posted a picture of a US agent meeting with Hong Kong protesters.

Embarrassing! The black hand was caught red-handed! Leaders of "HK independence" organization met with Julie Eadeh of US Consulate General in HK. She is a subversion expert at the State Department. The Chinese people are not afraid of evil, nor are they afraid of causing trouble. pic.twitter.com/svtrbJC0Z8

— Lijian Zhao ??? (@zlj517) August 8, 2019

What does it all mean? THE ART OF THE FUCKING DEAL!!!

“The bear is alive and kicking. We think the failed breakout last week for the S&P 500 confirms we are still mired in a cyclical bear market,” Mike Wilson, Morgan Stanley’s chief U.S. equity strategist, said in a note on Monday.

The escalated U.S.-China trade war rattled the markets last week with the Dow posting a loss of 0.75%. Major stock averages suffered their worst days of the year on Aug. 5 after China allowed its currency to drop against the dollar below a key level unseen since 2008.

The intensified tensions caused Goldman Sachs to lower its fourth-quarter growth forecast by 20 basis points to 1.8% as the firm no longer expects a trade deal before the 2020 election.

The People’s Bank of China (PBOC) on Monday set its daily midpoint for yuan trading at 7.0211 per dollar, the third consecutive session below the psychological level of 7 per dollar. It was also weaker than Friday’s session, but beat market expectations.

Dow futures -205. We’re fucked.

UPDATE: Argentinian FUD released!

MSCI Argentina ETF plunges 23% at the open, Argentine peso falls 20% after President Mauricio Macri performed poorly in primary electionshttps://t.co/kkhJ2iLZyc pic.twitter.com/kkUZffPCJz

— CNBC Now (@CNBCnow) August 12, 2019

In spite of the markets are record highs and the Chinese trade war having minimal if zero recognizable effects on the US economy, the media is running with “Trump is fucking shit up” headlines.

Enter Goldman Sachs, slashing growth and warning of, wait for it, RECESSION.

Goldman Sachs lowered its fourth-quarter growth forecast by 20 basis points to 1.8%, citing a larger than-expected impact of recent trade war events.

“The drivers of this modest change are that we now include an estimate of the sentiment and uncertainty effects and that ?nancial markets have responded notably to recent trade news,” said Goldman Sachs chief U.S. economist Jan Hatzius in a note to clients Sunday.

Goldman Sachs said it expects the new round of tariffs to go through in September and it no longer expects a trade deal before the 2020 election.

U.S. farmers lost their fourth largest customer this week after China officially cancelled all purchases of U.S. agricultural products, a retaliatory move following President Donald Trump’s pledge to slap 10% tariffs on $300 billion of Chinese imports.

China’s exit piles on to a devastating year for farmers, who’ve struggled through record flooding and droughts that destroyed crop yields, and trade war escalations that have lowered prices and profits this year.

“It’s really, really getting bad out here,” Bob Kuylen, a farmer of 35 years in North Dakota, told CNBC.

“There’s no incentive to keep farming, except that I’ve invested everything I have in farming, and it’s hard to walk away.”

And then you have the fucking farmers, the biggest recipients of government welfare, bitching and complaining about how fucked farming is for them. I’m sure these reporters are really hitting the hay bales in search of farmer angst — such an important demographic for this great nation.

What these farmers need to do, naturally, is shut the fuck up and grow less soy, in order to account for the trade war. Instead, they’ll keep growing at the same rate and then complain that China isn’t buying anymore — eventually settling for a government bailout for their unsold items.

What a fucking country!

Futures are flat. Everything is flat, even the globe.

Who really likes the taste of beer? It’s all fucking swill.

Enter WhiteClaw and Truly — two of several hard seltzer beverages competing vs beerFAGS for casual alcoholic consumption.

My wife hates it — but I love the seltzer shit. 5% ABV at only 100 cals and zero sugar? Sign me the fuck up.

The alternative is beer at the same ABV and filling AF caloric content that takes three days to ingest. Classic menFAGS will defend beer and cast seltzer bros as beta male faggots, drinking ‘pretend beer’ that tastes like pomegranate. Truth is, if you’re not drinking whiskey or gimlets, you’re wasting time anyhow so might as well drink something that is both pleasant and least filling.

Prove me wrong.

This is an easy trade for the balance of your lives. Coffee is the best beverage in the world. Anyone who drinks tea is a fucking orangutan moron.

Here are some easy facts for you fence sitters out there.

Big ass’d growth in China to come for many years, as they get fixed on ‘the bean.’

The Chinese enjoy, as a people, to drink the bean. Starfucks has over 3,600 locales and Luckin’ Coffee, China’s largest domestic chain, has 2,300. With the trade war happening and getting hot as fuck, God can only hope that Starfucks will be shut the fuck down and their assets given to LK.

Even though the Chinese seem to love the bean, per capita, we haven’t even scratched the surface here. This is like buying Starfucks in 1790.

In short LK is a lifetime hold. I cannot promise you immediate gains or even satisfaction, but I can easily demonstrate a trend to the upside. The bean will grab a hold of the Chinese by their necks and force them to consume, get them all jittery and shit, and then make them spend inordinate sums of money for shopping mall shit tier Joe. The added bonus of LK is that it’s entirely domestic. They tell Trump to fuck off with his tariffs all the time — because they do not export anything here. They’re simple bean salesmen trying to supplant and subvert an American chain trying to addict its citizens to a chemical property that they feel is their God given right.

UPDATE: I’ve been exposed.

Sometimes it sucks that I have such dedicated readers, as I am unable to forge a new persona for this younger generation. All of you old FUCKERS document my missives like it was Hemingway. It’s worth noting, I did at one point stop drinking coffee in favor of Earl Grey tea, but only because I felt I had nothing in common with homeless people who widely accepted coffee as their favorite go to beverage, after cheap whiskey. I did abstain from coffee for more than a year, only absolving this habit after I rediscovered my fondness for the bean.

Why are you surprised? Tough week and an even tougher Friday. I woke up to my face on fire with this REAL. No idea what the news was and I don’t care. All I know is that any stock -15% is getting sold. I don’t have to see the news to know something is fucked up with this company. I took a 23% loss on it — bad pick.

My overnight trade was SHAK, which I booked for a profit of just 0.45%. Sometimes we get monster trades, sometimes little small ones. The bottom line is, it was a win and that’s better than having gasoline poured all over my face by this REAL shit.

Most of my other stocks are doing good, heavily invested in gold — countering this downtrend with supreme cache.

Lots of trade war jitters now. What is Trump going to say next? What will China do over the weekend. I don’t care.

All I know is that I have 20% in cash and I have 1 job to do today — pick a stock to hold over the weekend and nail it. Maybe it’ll be a long, maybe a short. Who knows? My holding period is 1 day — buy the close, sell the open on these fuckers. The biggest fucking moves happen after 3pm and on the opens, so why bother with intra-day positions and getting tricked when you could take a clear headed position at the close?