MCPLUNGE INTO THE CLOSE?

For the first time in my life I’ve gotten a stiff neck. I bought a new mattress and fancy fucking pillow and it destroyed me. Now I can move my head about 5 degrees in each direction. If you’re talking to me, I’d need to move my entire body to see you — because my neck no longer accommodates such movements.

This is typical and also ridiculous, and here I am in pain — blogging like the wind.

I sold off some stuff today, booked gains and losses, and generated cash. With said cash I will do nothing. It’s also worth noting, I took out a hedge, in the hopes the market will plunge very hard into the close.

Bottom line: Markets do not bottom and Friday’s certainly not ahead of Labor Day weekend.

I’ve been working like an absolute dog for years straight, high strung lifestyle designed specifically to send me directly into a deep grave. I’ve been trying to unwind and get some sleep, but it seems to be an impossibility. I missed out on my overnight trade bump this morning, due to issues pertaining to the new house and now I’m just looking at it angry that I didn’t take the time to trade it.

The trading lifestyle is wonderful, if you have time and skill to play. But if you only have skill and no time — it’s one of the most frustrating things ever. Missing trades becomes a habit and next thing you know — you’re doubting you’re own skills — which is deadly for survival in this wacky business. Starting next week, I am going to ensure my schedule is fucking clean from opening bell to close.

I see the Nasdaq is shitting the bed today, typical of a Friday, a day that was born is disappoint longs. Sure, you get to enjoy the weekend soon, but you also get to enjoy SHARPLY LOWER share prices.

Gold miners are bouncing, oil is hammered, stocks are in limbo — sandwich time.

The next trade I’ll execute will be my over weekend hold.

IT SHOULD BE NOTED, the great big breasted algorithms of Exodus called the bottom to the exact day, yet again. Your systems are shit, in comparison.

How does this happen?

A Sublime Harmony of Mathematical Precision (SHOMP) is how it happens. We measure stress points in the market and adjust. The algorithms are now humming along, rather sublimely, nailing market bottoms to the exact day — gifting this prize to a select few lads and lassies who’ve come upon iBankCoin for a nominal fee that is both absurd and charitable.

On my trading end, I can only insist that you establish a ledger to track my wins — truly astounding. My quant, bar-none, leagues and scores above anything your retarded advisors have to offer.

Markets do not bottom on Friday’s — they soar!

Not much to add, other than the obvious. The fucking market wants higher. You can try to fade the close and hope for one morning weakness. But overall, that’s probably a dumb thing to do.

I think the next trend in the market is to buy shit, highly leveraged, indebted, piece of shit companies, especially in retail.

Retail has been tossed into the flames this year. But look at BBBY today. Look at the sector, on a whole, and there are some interesting cross currents.

Long day here, once again, at House Fly. I’ll try to blog tonight after seeing what the Asians do with their stocks.

I kicked out of most of my gold positions today, save two silver ones. Normally, I reserve these missives for the gentlemen and Jungle inside Exodus — but I felt it incumbent upon me to relay this warning.

Yields are fucking low and can run a good bit higher from here. Bonds and gold have been trading hand in hand. If you’re being tactical now, sell gold and buy back later. Preserve your gains and go spend some money at the local Harris Teeter.

Here is the bounty that I gathered in gold.

NUGT +17.6%
MUX +16.1%
RGLD +6.3%
AUY +15.9%

Proceeds have been reserved and my end of day trade fast approaches. Yesterday’s pick was BBBY. You’re welcome to those who followed me in.

I used to have a lot of internet haters out there, but now everyone loves me. People used to go out of their way to discredit and soil my good name — because they thought I was like all of the other internet gurus, talking extreme shit without any real talent. But they stopped — because I’m the real deal with actual talent and a trading hand that can and will smack your jawbones loose.

Look at me yesterday, for example, stepping into faggot retail stock BBBY at the end of the session — BOOM sold it today for a quick 1.5% gainer. While that might sound like a trivial rounding error type of bullshit return — ANNUALIZE THAT.

I also booked an overnight gain in FSLY for 7.1%, for an annualized return of 1,779%.

FUCK YOU STAY HOME WITH YOUR KIDS.

Now everyone knows, after so many years, that “The Fly” is a genetic superpower and hero, always doing selfless shit, like convincing members of Exodus to UPGRADE TO ANNUAL, when everyone knows he makes so much more on monthly subscriptions. Now that I’m down south, amongst the grits and the cornbread, it’s important to understand that I will acclimate myself to their customs, lazily strolling into work whenever the hell I feel like it and drinking bourbon at the desk — chased down with some sweet tea.

I do feel the urge, or might I say, the inclination, to improve my health. This past year has been dreadful for Le Fly, as I toiled hard against the rocks, gaining weight like a barrel’d ass and staying away from the gym — permitting his muscles to soften and grow weak. All of that is about to change now — strict regimen of steroids and oats, I will be punching holes in the wall in no time at all — raging out throughout the south, menacing my neighbors with giant portraits of General Tecumseh Sherman.

“The Fly” cannot permit himself to ever look ridiculous.

I need to run out again, because moving into a new state requires a lot of paperwork and adjustment. Plus I need to feed the family and my fucking car is in the shop and I am the designated driver.

These are today’s booked trades. Not all winners, but net net success.

(JNUG -1.1%)
NUGT +17.6%
(SNAP -6%)
TWLO +0.26%
MUX +16.1%

I added a few more today, one in retail — which has sucked all year — but I’m hoping for a turn. In the event you’re wondering why Le Fly doesn’t share his picks here anymore — it’s because they’re for members of Exodus only, exclusive access to the single best trader in America today.

My Quant gained 0.7%, lots of upside action in trading — America is fat, sloppy, and happy. Winning trade wars, Powell is an enemy, etc etc etc.

Can’t lose.

I spent a lazy morning sauntering around my new southern locale, breezing by fried chicken stands with people drinking sweet tea inside of them. The roads are bumpy and there are lots of hills, dropped in against a landscape of tall sleepy trees and an array of impeccably manicured bushes and shrubs.

The people down here speak slow and intentionally, usually opting for kindness over brashness. Since this is a new city with lots of new things, most of the people here are new too, most hailing from northern cities. The legacy population here is dwindling, but you can spot them a mile away — slow walking sun beaten gents and ladies discussing the afternoon horse racing with a confederate drawl. I an particularly fond of southern folk, always have been and will be. When I managed money, all of my favorite clients were southern and all of my hated clients were from NYC — complete and total assholes. Typically, southern folk are honorable and do what they say — possessing a morality that 99% of northerners lack due to poor upbringing and terrible war-like genes. Northern aggressors are a scourge on this country, always meddling into the affairs of others, concocting get rich quick schemes with their banks, and doing degenerate shit everywhere they go. I’ll be happy to spend my slow days down here, lazily amongst the humid winds and pick up trucks, smoking my estate pipe whilst listening to bluegrass. I might even eat a piece of peach pie too, should I feel inclined to do so.

The market looks like complete shit today, with gold lower and SAAS lower. I see market breadth is solid and my Quant is up 40bps — but my gold positions are lacking and that makes me somewhat melancholy. I do think, however, all drops in gold should be purchased with a violent rage. Every black candle since the beginning of 2019 has been met with a feverish buying. I will now go about my business, take a closer look at the market, and get back to you shortly.

TLT and GLD are the truth. All of you ass-clowns who’ve been shitting on them will soon feel the backend of my whip, as I descend upon you with riches that make The Count of Monte Cristo look like a piker. It’s important that I keep telling you this, for when I die — these good deeds will offset all of the terrible and horrible things I’ve done in my life and gain me entry into heaven, where I intend to cavort and chortle, cavort some more, and whore.

I will tell you this much, and this goes without saying, buying gold is always a good idea — but it’s especially fine on days of decline. This applies to gold more so than any other asset class. If you think you’ve missed out on the trend, do not fear lads. There will be another sharp bounce in yields and with it gold will shrink, like an old man’s dick without viagra. On that day, listen to me now, get out there and buy gold miners with an angry vengeance. If people get in your way, physically assault them. You can doubt me all you want, but just know I’ve been buying NUGT since $13.

What the fuck have you been doing?

Exactly.

Markets were up big this morning, now look at them. “The Fly” kicked out of his ROKU and made 2.5% overnight, an annualized return of 616%. See pal, that’s who I am…

Moving on, I added another silver miner to my repertoire. Fact of the matter is, and this goes without saying, RATES ARE COLLAPSING, now off by 6bps to 1.48%. If you’re not heavily long gold — you don’t know what you’re doing. You have no right managing money and should be killed.

I’m 30% gold miners and 15% defensive stocks.

Why?

Because as rates drop, fuckers are looking for yield. You’d be wise to get long some old man stocks, and possibly some utilities — for the sake of maintaining your coin and sanity.

I TOLD YOU SO.