18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,359 Blog Posts


I tripled down in NIO and now my basis is $11.06.

I also couldn’t resist and bought QTT — basis of $16.

I am just about cashless now and involved with several high octane trades that I have no business in right now. Life is good, so I’m trying to ruin it for myself.

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Nine for Last Nine — But I Feel Like Absolute Refuse

I mucked up this NIO trade 10 ways till Sunday. First, I should’ve sold it in the after-hours last night; but I was busy at the fucking mall buying textiles. Then the stock cratered and I doubled down, and once again failed to sell it when it spiked +10% from my basis. Now the stock is off by 10% and I’m contemplating holding it over the long hard and cold weekend.

Second, I knew QTT would lift off. The stock shot out of the gates and was trading ~12, but I didn’t buy any because I was fully invested and also because I had too much shit on the books, namely NIO.

So here I am now, holding my dick in hands — looking at my past 9 booked trades and feel dreadful about it.

Here’s the rundown.

CLF +10.1%
GWRE +2.5%
K +2.7%
CLX +1.7%
SPOT +3.1%
QUOT +3.2%
AYX +2.97% (double sized)
VRTU +3.7%

They’re mostly small gains over short holding periods. I now have 10% cash and a portfolio filled with excess risk.

Meanwhile, my quant portfolio, which comprises of 75% of my investable dollars, is higher by 77bps — stress free and with a dignified air.

Here are the top rated stocks in Exodus. To access our grading system — go to FreeStockAlgos.com or take a 7 day free trial.

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Another Friday, Another Trade War Declaration By Trump

How am I supposed to respond to this, seeing the same news for the 10th week in a row?

Yes, we know Trump wants tariffs on Chinese goods. We know he will likely use the money gained from the tariffs for some pet project of his, such as paying off the debt. That being said, it’s Friday and no one really cares. We’re all exhausted by the drama and have become immune to minor dips.

President Donald Trump wants tariffs on $200 billion of Chinese goods despite the U.S.’s attempt to restart talks on trade, Bloomberg reported on Friday.

The president told aides to go ahead with tariffs, Bloomberg reported, citing four people familiar with the matter.

The U.S. and China have already put in place tariffs on $50 billion of each other’s imports since July as tensions escalated despite several rounds of talks. Trump has criticized China’s record trade surplus with the U.S. and openly questioned whether it was manipulating its currency.

My NIO trade has stalled, in favor of a new Chinese IPO — QTT. Albeit tempting, I’m holding off buying into QTT while juggling several flaming jars of clay.

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I was going to either sell it or double down, so I decided to buy more. The notion of buying this is painful, especially since it was down 20% today. But, this sort of action has preceded many a rallies. Once the sellers get flushed the fuck out and the weak hands have been executed, the stock can run in the wind, naked, cock out — strong.

My basis is $11.40. Should I end up with a mammoth victory here, I will once again declare myself to be the greatest trader alive.

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Not to make excuses or anything, but I did make a really great French omelette, not color but yellow through and through. I come back to the desk, 10 minutes into trading, and behold a harrowing decline in NIO — which is now halted due to retardation.

The stock had been up 15% pre-market, now fucked.

I’ll end up taking an L on this and also walk away with a lesson, which is — NEVER make yourself breakfast at the market open while holding volatile piece of shit Chinese burritos.

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This is the Easiest Market Since 2009

I was tempted to say 1999, but that shit was ridiculous. Plus, I think there should be a statute of limitations on talking about tapes and discussing another more than 10 years ago. I recently found myself talking to someone about the market and my time during the dot com era, this was after I wrote my two stories on the subject, and immediately felt embarrassed for talking about something so long ago. This is the reason why I haven’t penned a part 3 — too long ago. If I’m gonna write anything, I want to include the present day — perhaps give you absolute fuckers insight into life as a 42 year old blogger with a serious God complex.

Markets are gently higher in the pre-market and I hate to toot my horn over YI and NIO — but there is nothing you can do to stop them. NIO is the next TSLA — Chinese edition. And YI is some bullshit company that no one has ever heard of — but that shouldn’t stop the stock from barreling higher.

I use the word “barrel” a lot these days and I’ve also purposely dumbed down my prose in order to better communicate with rusticate road slobs. There’s no reason for me to use ‘fancy’ words and make any of you feel illiterate. I could, mind you, if I wanted to — but I won’t.

Strong advice for you home gamers out there wasting away — learn how to cook. And I don’t mean BBQing some burgers or a steak. Learn the processes and get at least 5 good recipes under your belts. This way, if you ever invite people to the house, you can feed them something other than pizza.

I’ll be taking some profits today and I’ll also be making some coffee and maybe even some food.

Back in a bit.

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Sold $SPOT to Finance Two Insane New Chinese Stocks

Okay, I’m really on a roll now — beginning a new winning streak, 5 for my last 5. I had a 38 for 39 streak, 28 for 30, and now I’m gunning for 1,000 for 1,000 — to prove, once and for all, that I literally cannot be stopped.

I kicked out of SPOT for a 3% gain. With the proceeds I bought the following two Chinese IPOs.



I bought NIO at $11.66, already up 70% for the day, not giving a fuck.

YI is unch, and I bought her at $14.19.

Best case scenario, both stocks open +100% tomorrow and I sell them and rejoice over a can of evaporated milk.

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Come See Me Do Something Stupid — Like Buy a Stock Back 27 Points Higher From Where I Sold It Last

On July 26th, 2018, I sold APPF a touch over $67, booking a 3 point profit. The trade languished and took 9 days to complete, far too long for a top hatted gent such as myself.

Fast forward to today, I stepped in and bought APPF, the same stock that offered me little bounty last go around, for $90.35. I did so because I’m interested in $100 rolls now. I’d buy TEAM too, but felt this one would be more comical, considering how much lower I sold it.

Why should I care if the stock is higher from where I sold it? I couldn’t care two fucks about, one way or another.

With today’s hundy roll purchases, I am truly out of cash, in the streets, broke — fucked forked radish.

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I had identified GWRE two days ago sub $100 and said it would trade to $106 in short order. It did exactly that today. I am buying UBNT now — because it too will run to $106 in short order. If it doesn’t, I’ll literally cut my own head off — gladly too.

After I executed the UBNT order, I was informed that one of my dogs went missing — the really dumb one. I’m not allowed to call the dog dumb, of course, because it might hurt her feelings. It seems only I know that the dog is, in fact, too god damned dumb to understand what anyone is saying to her, let alone an insult like the word ‘dumb’.

After a good ten minutes looking for her in my fenced in yard, I started to think she dug under the fence and into the brush beyond. As a pup, she had done this before — forcing me to give chase in the tick infested tall grass — dodging over large branches and stepping in deep sticky mud.

Then I heard her bark — but it sounded from within the woodshed. With the door being shut, I knew she was stuck underneath. I hemmed and hawed in a flaccid attempt to cajole her to come out — but she couldn’t muster the cognitive skills to pivot around and crawl out from under. Instead, she barked and barked and barked, and hit her head on the wood beams above. Frantically, I grabbed some tools and began digging a deep hole at the foot of the shed — falling victim to a wide array of insects gnawing at my slippered feet and bare legs.

The dirt was too thick and I tried option B — destroy the plywood from inside. I grabbed a hammer and produced a hole in it, only to be told that the noise I had made might be injurious to the poor dog, who must’ve been stuck beneath because of intellectual prowess, perhaps there to save another animal from this plight.

I stood there, filthy in mud and itching from the spiders, the ticks, and the mosquitoes, and figured I’d grab a drill and I’d produce small holes in the plywood and then pry it open with a fucking clawhammer. As I stepped onto the deck to go inside the house, our wonderful dog had figured out an escape rout and was very safe, albeit very dirty and definitely still dumb.

After a dog bath and gentle blow drying and paper toweling, she then proceeded to belly skate throughout the house in an attempt to fully dry.

FML, seriously.

NOTE: I am long PETQ — because dogs are better and more important than humans.

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Fact: Tech Isn’t Overvalued; SAAS Stocks Still Have Lots of Upside Left

This isn’t an opinion based upon a gut feeling. Only rusticate rubes base their investment ideas on such folly. I will present some statistical facts now, courtesy of Exodus.

The overall tech sector isn’t expensive on a price to sales scale.

The best performing industry in tech, Application Software, isn’t expensive either.

Lastly, and it’s important that you understand this, the SAAS sector is growing in excess of 15% per annum. Very soon, Wall Street will begin pricing in very predictable 2019-2020 sales expectations in an industry roaring with growth.

If you’re not buying stocks — you are the biggest fool in the world. Might as well become a beer salesman and drink yourselves into oblivion.

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