iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,593 Blog Posts

Happy 11th Anniversary iBankCoin

Other website operators will thank their audiences for making their website popular and profitable. While I did think about doing that for a moment or two, ultimately, I decided against it.

Back in the ancient days when iBC was founded, the pre-twitter days of 2007, the internet was a wild place. There were scores of finance blogs and men of ill repute taking to the web in order to run their schemes. Nowadays, those people are on Stocktwits and Twitter, busy getting themselves banned. But back then, the finance realm was festooned by hucksters, men pretending to be stock market sages.

I, on the other hand, told the world to ‘fuck itself’ and was immediately accepted into the bosom of traders. Widely read, but never linked to or talked about in public, iBankCoin quickly became an underground channel for actual finance talk, filled with smoky rooms and men puffing furiously on their pipes, telling others to ‘fuck off’ and to ‘die in a fire’ whenever trades went wrong.

I created this environment here and very few original readers remain in these distinguished halls, mostly because of ADD and the proclivity of man to blow themselves up in trades gone wrong. Writers have come and gone, only Raul and Ragin Cajun remain from the dozens of writers employed by the site. We’ve had numerous premium services launched from the site, all with the purpose to help others, in a most charitable way. Entertainment has always been at the forefront of the site’s mission — because life is tedious and trading is hard. I’ve always erred on the side of invectiveness because the solitude of success and failure is boring and who’s really keeping track after all? I’ve never claimed to be a guru — because that is something to be determined by others. I can only claim to be a Blog Father and someone who is able to communicate well with others, a master at many things, a serial over-achiever, genius extraordinaire.

Thanking you for these things, frankly, would be sycophantic and just plain wrong. To this end, I thank myself for pushing thru the weeds and chopping down the brush to finally view the promise land of milk and honey. It has taken me over a decade to realize what my true calling was and what I should be to the people reading iBankCoin. A trader and masterful word-smith — yes. I am all of those things, and much much more. I like to view myself as a modern day prophet, a man sent down from a distant galaxy to slap his readers in the face with scalding hot slices of pizza — to teach others the way of the lion and to avoid being eaten like the zebra. This might sound caustic to some of you — but I am a benevolent slapper of faces — always meant with good intentions and a strong willed moral compass.

With that said, I now present to you entertainment. The video that ushered in iBankCoin into the lexicon of top tiered finance websites, a dark and swiftly moving pirate vessel firing into the faces of all of the absolute fuckheads who get in our way.

Congratulations to you for finding me online. Cheers.

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$LITE Earnings Warning Spooks Markets — Lights $AAPL Stock on Fire (bad kind of fire)

A key supplier to Apple just warned in a fairly big way and that caused AAPL to drop by 2% and Nasdaq futures by 20.

Lumentum lowers Q2 guidance “We recently received a request from one of our largest Industrial and Consumer customers for laser diodes for 3D sensing to materially reduce shipments to them during our fiscal second quarter for previously placed orders that were originally scheduled for delivery during the quarter.”

Lumentum lowers Q2 EPS to $1.15-1.34 vs $1.67 S&P Capital IQ Consensus Estimate; revs to $335-355 mln vs $420.47 mln S&P Capital IQ Consensus Estimate

LITE makes 3-D sensing lasers for Apple’s facial ID nonsense. Perhaps Apple is getting rid of that asshole feature, or maybe sales are languishing. Either way, LITE is going to get lit the fuck up when it un-halts itself.

Nasdaq futures are now -50.

Happy fucking Monday lads.

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Coming Soon: The Capstone Programme

In about a week or two, I’ll launch my most aggressive and detailed premium service to date. We’ve done boot camps and trading services before — but this new service, The Capstone Programme, is designed to be custom tailored to the needs of the individual.

My anonymity has always been important. I enjoy to be some mysterious fellow in the darkest corners of an estate castle talking to the plebs about things they understand, only on a rudimentary level. But I’m getting older and my desire to impact the lives of others has increased and I want to start something truly great, and valuable, transferring whatever makes me tick to others in a personal way.

The Capstone Programme — an aspirational attempt at coaching, mentoring, educating traders and investors about markets, trends, and the things that make the world go round. You’ll have my time for exactly 1 hr, for a small fee, and we’ll try to straighten you out.

Here are the topics I intend to cover. If you have requests, let me know. This is a limited member service, since I only have 5 hours per day to do live calls. When this launches, I suggest you lock in fast and good — for they will go fast. “The Fly’s” time is extremely valuable and is worth many trillions of dollars. Lucky for you, you’re reading this now.

My topics, thus far.

Identifying trends
Intra-day moves
Follow through
When to sell/buy
Averaging down vs up
Contrarian bets
Structuring portfolios, long/short term
Setting goals
Conference calls
What to look for in earnings reports
Calling up IR
Charts, price memory, algos
Value investing/value traps
Multiple expansion vs contraction
Economic cycle
Bonds/equities — when to buy
Dividend stocks
Quantitative models
Rotation
Cash is a position
Playing earnings/earnings misses
Catalyst driven trades
Executing trades/ limits vs market orders — pre-makret, after hours
Defensive stocks
ETFs
China
Retail landscape
Mega Caps/FAANG
GARP
Options/Futures
Technical vs fundamental analysis
Fads/Euphoria
Dystopian landscape
Managing moods/healthy habits
Shorting stocks
SHARPE
Retirement accounts
Analyst upgrades/downgrades
Trading around economic news
The Fed
Inflation/deflation
Day trading/swing trading
Hot sectors and why
Market breadth and why it matters
Online resources — information

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Get Your Mind Right For the Week Ahead

What is the hardest thing for a faux confident trader to do? By faux, I mean a person who pretends to have high esteem, but always is in need of reassurance — either by flaunting his success or by surrounding himself with sycophantic morons who idle themselves by showering praise unto someone else.

The hardest thing for that person to do is admit being wrong. We all go through periods of low confidence and most of us were raised by fucked up families, into circumstances that created an air of insecurity, whether it by via lack of prosperity, education, or malevolent parents. With time and a bit of maturity, some of you will escape the yolk of this personality disorder and live your lives freely and without feeling less than others.

I mention these uncomfortable traits because it’s part and parcel of being a better trader. When times are good, everyone is a genius. But it’s markets like this one that separate the crop from the chaff — spiraling markets without decency or regard for decorum. It wants to ruin you — because it hates what you represent.

Heading into next week’s trade, be mindful of two distinct possibilities.

1. Market bottoms and soars heading into Turkey Day.
2. Market does the impossible and plummets into Turkey Day.

Anything is possible. Your positions might get ravaged and your accounts zeroed out. If you’re not careful, this could be the last week you’ll ever trade stocks again.

What I’m trying to say, in a very long winded and round about way, is detach yourselves from your bias and the stocks that you own and admit to being wrong. The only way to do this systematically is by setting rules for yourself. Stop losses at -5% and -10%. During periods of flux, minimum cash balances of 30-50% and so on and so forth. No matter how great you think a stock is and what its prospects are, do not place more than 15% of your account in it.

These rules sound rote to many professional traders who are reading this — but truthfully, the majority of the readers of this here site are new. Doing live demos with many of our Exodus members, I’ve come to learn that many have only been reading me for a few months. One gent never even read the blog.

Out with the old and in with the new — the circle of life and the everlasting struggle for dominance continues — even within the confines of this treasured space on the internets.

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The Important Matter of the Scourge of Paper’d Plates

There’s something inherently wrong with people who insist on serving their dinner entrees on paper’d plates. I can understand the need for brevity during breakfast and maybe a quick afternoon snack. But, woe is me to tell you that serving dinner atop of a paper’d plate is not only wrong, it’s wholly degenerate.

Let me explain.

Back when the Pilgrims came to America, they prepared their 200 calorie suppers on wooden plates and ate with their hands, like savage animals. The natives were even worse, opting to eat from the carcasses of dead animals and the skulls of enemy tribesmen. Then England began to export proper dinnerware and the rest is history.

The Pilgrims would soon farm better and learn how to kill animals in a more efficient way. It wasn’t long before 1,000 calories were enjoyed by all during supper. To celebrate this great and most fortunate bounty, they took their old wooden plates and cracked them over the heads of the natives for looking at them sideways, and then started to eat on the plates imported by their motherland.

Dinner was not only a time of sustenance, but a celebration of bounty and the creativity of mankind. Traveling across the dangerous waters and into savage territory, dodging arrows and spears whilst trying to farm, was an arduous task and it took many men and guns to solidify European dominance over the barren lands of N. America.

This is why, when sitting at the supper table, you should not sully it with cheap and piece of shit paper’d plates; which, by the way, is a derivative of the wooden ones used by the original Pilgrims. If you’re taking the time to cook a good meal, and by this I mean a properly prepared meal, serve it on a nice dish — god damn it. Pageantry is everything and you’re only here for a finite amount of suppers and your forefathers cracked those wooden bowls over the heads of the natives to establish your way of life here — gently cavorting around this giant mass of land in your faggot pants, hooked into your electric devices.

I know what you’re thinking. How does demographics play into this fine thinking?

“What about me — I am from China, or Brazil, or Saudi Arabia, and don’t give a shit about English settlers and their dinnerware in infant, baby America.”

You don’t have to be a distant relative of the original settlers in America to appreciate the sentiment. As I understand it, over in Asia — if you’re caught eating a fine meal on a paper’d plate, they cut your fingers off. In the Middle East, dinner on the birthday of the King cannot ever be served on paper’d plates. Those found doing so will be decapitated.

And let’s not get into what they do to you in Brazil. It’s too grisly a punishment for this PG-13 rated blog.

The next time your wife or husband serves you supper on a paper plate, take my advice, believe me, and simply get up from the table and throw it in the trash, telling her/him ‘I refuse to sully the efforts of my forefathers by dining on this flimsy piece of wood. It is a meal best designed for a reprobate. GOOD DAY TO YOU.”

Thank me later.

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Here Are 5 Reasons For You to Be Bearish AF

START AN Exodus FREE TRIAL TODAY. Click on the god damned link. Only email required. Or, access our algos for free at FreeStockAlgos.com

Let’s make this simple.

1. Dollar strength. This spells doom.

2. China trade war.
3. Riskiest stocks heading fast towards recent lows.

4. Catching knives is fucking retarded.
5. Traders have hard-ons for retesting lows.

We’re 400 NASDAQs away from recent lows and the breadth is terrible today. If we gap higher on Monday, I’ll likely switch my bias again. Bear with me as I figure this out. But as I do, I’m doing it with a small portion of my investable dollars. Heading into today, I was 55% cash. Closing out the day, I am 70%. Perhaps that’s what you should take from me most today, uncertainty.

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BIAS CHANGE; BARRELING TOWARDS FRESH LOWS

Admittedly, I had it all planned out. I was going to preside over my Thanksgiving table, which would be festooned with festive flowers, and rich foods and meats, proudly declaring to be thankful for having accurately “NAILED THE FUCKING RAM TO THE WALL”, making bounties worth of coin in the stock market. I’d viciously rip into a turkey leg with my teeth and declare the feast to be live and ongoing. While my kids cringed at the moment and slinked into their chairs and below the table, I’d produce a properly frapped champagne and pop the cork into the face of my least favorite guest — by accident of course, and then wildly splash the wine all over the table and over my head. Then I’d crash out of the window, onto the yard below — running off into the sunset en route to the green fields of Romania to spend the balance of my days there, tending to goats and mountain people.

Instead of all that shit happening, I sold out of my SAAS plays now. Losses ranged between -2.5 to -9%. Stop losses will be adhere to at all times.

With some of the proceeds, I bought 3x ark, long TMF — because markets are crashing again and America is a safer haven. Our military might will see to it all buy our bonds, one way or another.

Presently, I am long CANG, TMF, LABD, DBX, DOCU, and TLRY. My cash position is 70%.

My theory: markets crater next week and retest and make new lows. Then we’ll bounce off the lows and rally into Turkey Day.

PROVE ME WRONG, FUCKERS.

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SHORT SCIENCE INTO THE WIND

I bought some LABD today, because FUCK SCIENCE.

The earth is of course flat and the moon is an alien planet base, hollow and advanced, which will one day fly away and leave our oceans to flood and destroy the planet, just like it did in the times of Noah. You’re gonna need an ark young man, believe me.

Everything is bad, except TLRY. It seems to be behaving very well.

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***MARKETS DON’T BOTTOM ON FRIDAYS***

So what the fuck is going on with this chart of the Nasdaq?

I’ll tell you what the fuck is going on. This market is fixing to retest those god damned lows. Any idea how painful that will be? Believe me, a lot. Now we can change all of that shit, with a little verve and positive energy. Everyone form a circle and hold hands. While you do that, I’ll sacrifice the  baby goat and pour its virgin blood over your heads and then light a chicken on fire. Very delicious, believe me. After that, I have these Jim Cramer voodoo dolls that I bought in Haiti. We can stick pins in them and pray to, err “The Gods”, for stock prices to reverse crescendo and lift, the fuck, higher.

I’m getting my cock chipped away at with TLRY. I was up 30 points and now I’m down 5. ‘Tis is life. One second you’re on top of the world, the next a homeless bum seeking out cigarette butts.

Look, I realize you’re confused and do not know what to do. Relax, no one really knows what to do and we’re all guessing and making bets based upon assumption. But you can control a few things, such as position sizes and stop losses. Do not let the smoke from the fires blind you to where you’re trying to go.

Still long a bunch of declining stocks, and also DBX — 60% cash.

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Poor Day for Risk — Lack of Follow Thru Crushes the Overzealous

My issues look to be somewhat resolved in Exodus. We have a brand new API for data and the latency is very low, and clean, and beautiful. I was out all day, cavorting around Princeton in my corduroys and vest, Americano in tow. I’m not a dandy, mind you. Look at me sideways and I’ll bust your jaw for you.

I see stocks were down and tech down miserably. I sold out of SQ today for a 7% loss and my cash position is now 60%.

I gave back much of my praised and glorious winship in TLRY today. I’d like to blame it on the fact that I was literally not at my desk for a single minute today; but that’s no excuse. I merely looked at it, saw it was only 5% of my portfolio, and decided to let it ride. Had I been at the desk, I would’ve sold it — almost assuredly.

Tomorrow should be a normal day for me and I really do need to unwind a little bit. Between my poor sleep habits, stress at home and at work, Le Fly’s life expectancy is quickly barreling towards zero.

NOTE: Yesterday’s purchase were executed under the assumption that prices might come in. The idea was to be long from now until Turkey Day. That theorem still applies and I will use said cash to double down on my present positions.

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