18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,864 Blog Posts

Friendly Reminder: Never Sell Short Stocks into National Festival

I realize Thanksgiving is illegal in many parts of the country this year. However, the point remains, thou shalt not sell short US equities into the haze of National Festival. It’s simply inappropriate to think and to behave with such malice, at a time of year when we stuff our faces with cranned berried sauce and drink whole bottles of wine straight from the bottle.

I will have you know, I am SUSPENDING my booze free commitment next week thru Thanksgiving, in order to drink all the time. I have every intention of drinking all the time, maybe even during trading hours.

Today’s tape is of course good but I have been out again. I will be back to normal trading hours soon enough. My Mother In-law is scheduled to arrive here tomorrow, which will last for what I imagine to be many many months.This is fine by me since she is a big Fly fan, even taking my side often against the sometimes evil Mrs. Fly.

My accounts are all up, trading +55bps, a rather somber and milquetoast showing due to my value stocks predisposition. I sold NKLA today for +12% and I ought to venture out into more risky assets; I really should, but a value man cannot discard his convictions just because the market is handing out free money. I have a job to do, not exactly sure what that is anymore, but I am going to do it nevertheless.

Comments »

Markets Drifts Lower, Everyone in Exodus Made 10% Today

No thanks to me. I was actually down in my trading account. But, apparently, all of those SUPREME FAGGOTS made 10% for the session, long RIOT, FUBO and whatever the hell else was up 20% today. What a wonderful planet I live on, where people inside my own trading room cuck me to bare witness to their elaborate gains — all of them circle jerking around their returns, probably cramming sushi into their fat faces as they grin at the screen where I wrote: “But I was down today.”

No pity, no “hey Fly, scooter, you’ll get ’em tomorrow.” Instead, I see one comment after the next +806bps today — “best day eva, thank yooo Exodus.”

Well Fuck off. I’m a value investor now and I scowl at your 10% daily gains. I was down 2% and liked it very much, aside from the part where I lost money. But it wasn’t my fault. Jeff Bezos and his evil Amazon destroyed WBA, MCK and CVS, all were doing fine until Amazon decided to sell drugs.

I am sure, as God is my witness, I will have my revenge, very bitter but also sweet, sometime in the immediate future.

Comments »

Citi Predicts 20% Decapitation in Dollar, Post Vaccine

Let’s not pretend everything is okay. Citi issued a note yesterday, brushed under the rug because Citi generally sucks. However, seeing the rise in Bitcoin, now almost $18k, coupled with RISING RATES during a time of collapse — one has to seriously think if it’s at all possible. A 20% drop in the dollar, post vaccine.

The widespread distribution of vaccines to combat the coronavirus pandemic and ongoing monetary easing could cause the U.S. dollar =USD to weaken as much as 20% next year, Citibank said on Monday.

“When viable, widely distributed vaccines hit the market, we believe that this will catalyze the next leg lower in the structural USD downtrend we expect,” the U.S. bank said in a research note.

The idea is massive denigration of the dollar due to wanton stimulus, which in turn will cause stocks, especially foreign stocks, to trade up. Back in 2008 we had a situation like this, the crushing of the dollar and precipitous rise of commodities, including food, just prior to the housing collapse. The environment was surreal — and everyone was placing bets on multi-nationals, oil, farms, potash, dry bulk shippers etc. The inflation trade worked double in Australia, where commodity related stocks there had the double win of rising currency and commodities. Aussie stocks and real estate were smoking hot. But then all of that ended and the kangaroo fucked himself.

The idea of the $100 tomato was something I often fantasized about. All sorts of regulations are scheduled to be enacted soon, such as NO MORE NATTY in San Fran and no more gas powered cars in Cali by 2035. All of this seems suicidal — because it is! But during mass suicide events, the coffin makers and the gravestone makers bank coin, so I’ll be keeping my eye on all of this stuff for the rest of you — as you slovenly sloth thru the markets, fat and slow, hoping for more Federal Reserve bucks to bail you out. Well guess what, Bozo Trump is trying to squeeze in one last fucker into the Fed before he heads out to build his big beautiful library. Her name is Judy Shelton and she wants to get back onto the gold standard.

Comments »

Value Stocks Slumber While Momentum Barnstorms Ahead

I got fucked a little with Amazon’s latest foray into healthcare, sending shares of MCK and CVS sharply to the downside. I sold both and moved on, -7 and -9% respectively. I don’t hold anything, lest I’m super confident, after -10%. This was close enough for me.

I rolled the proceeds into two ancillary crypto stock plays, as BTC big dick moves higher, steamrolling towards new record highs. I am, as you know, very bullish on ETH and expect it to trade into the thousands at some point this decade.

Overall mixed bag for me, quant up, trading down. I’m not at the home office, so I’m not slaving in front a series of screens today, jerking off to moving averages. Nevertheless, I see momentum is back in play with alt energy and EV stocks popping off, leaving my old man stocks in the fucking dust.

Comments »

Markets Fucking Soar to Record Highs

My Quant is up 15% for the month of November. My trading spurred higher by value today, increased by 200bps. The prognostications of doom have been grotesquely exaggerated. As soon as Trump seized power, he took credit for the market’s rise and economic recovery, which was already underway. I am sick and tired of people praising idols. No one is infallible and there isn’t an institution in this country, or the world, without its downside.

Listen to me and heed these words very seriously: stop the fucking bullshit and get back to trading. Believing in nothing is the reason why depression is rampant. Life isn’t always easy and people are fucked. But it isn’t all bad and there are things worthy of praise, innovation that improve our lives. We are all temporarily taking up space, so let’s try to enjoy it while it lasts.

Comments »

Back in, All In, Mostly Value — Smoking Cigars

I’m not really smoking FAMOUS CIGARS now — because that’s degenerate as fuck. I am, however, spiritually coasting through this trading session, secure in the idea that value plays, more specifically NORMALIZATION OF CHINESE TRADE RELATIONS stocks, will trade higher.

I’m not fucking around here. Hunter Biden needs some more models at his hotel room in Beijing. Once Biden seizes power, we will immediately end the China trade war and resume Obama’s efforts in exporting middle America jobs — because fuck those people.

Some names with massive Chinese exposure include: HON, CAT, MU, CLF, FCX, AA, BA, HAS, MAT FDX etc.

I have a list and I am checking it twice. I am back to fully invested, mostly value plays that can be enjoyed at your local Kroger. There will be rumors of market’s selling off — but don’t believe them. There are a lot of haters out there and people who believe, foolishly, that Trump had anything to do with the market rallies. Truth is, we’ve been spending like drunken jackasses since Reagan’s ‘supply side economics’ theorem. While things are corrupt and in your face in a degree never seen before, more or less, our standard of life is still better than most. Look at Europe, those supreme faggots don’t even have air conditioners.


Coupon code: RIGGED

Comments »


In the Era of Joe, value stocks will rise again, just like the south never did under any administration since Lincoln. I must tell you that I booked tremendous gains today in an array of names — up more than 240bps for the day, a day in which I bore witness to SAAS stocks and other growth vehicles of perfidy trade lower. This is not the sordid market you once had under Trump, the Charlatan. Your capital gains will be taxed thrice and your trading behavior SEVERELY FROWNED UPON by the incoming administration.

Robinhood traders will be annihilated under the Era of Joe — two bit accounts detonated with dynamite — 5 figure accounts laughed out of the market amidst trade ending margin liquidations.

In case you’re wondering, yes I had a good weekend, not a great one. I played some tennis, cooked a bit, and laughed in moderation. I am now back to work and will be trading for the balance of the day. My bias is to the upside, with a strong feeling about value plays and I can only hope on the stone of Jupiter that bubble stocks continue lower and the chasm between haves and have nots widen to a degree that becomes untenable.

WTI is breaking out to the upside, because max pain dictates the guy who wants to destroy it will help it go up the most.

Comments »

Let’s Normalize China Trade Relations, Shall We?

Enough of the fucking bullshit. Biden is going to be our next President, of these Unites Steaks of America. We are a corporation, explicit in the goal to create wealth for those smart enough to do it. With that being said, let’s not pretend Chinese trade relations aren’t going back to a pre-Trump arrangement. Today the S&P closed at record highs, after Trump conceded Arizona to Biden. Whether fraud happened or not is immaterial to me. Let’s read the tea leaves and check our retarded political opinions at he door.

There are a slew of China trade plays worth pursuing. A cursory google search will provide you with the obvious names: WYNN, SWKS, TXN, AAPL. However, there are a great deal more that might benefit, such as CLF, FCX, X, even XOM.

This week was all about rotation, out from the COVID winners and into pro China trade and value stocks. I do suppose we’ll get back to handwringing over the revenues prospects at ZM soon enough. However, and at least for the time being, I am content with a slower than molasses dropping off your kitchen counter portfolio of value plays, boosted by a pastiche of timely growth plays.

We should, however, be looking towards the next 4 years and formulating strategies that might become part of the daily go to sectors now, such as steel, coking coal, and fucking casinos.

Have a nice fucking weekend.

Comments »


Now that I am a deep value investor, I have little to do. Ergo, I walked into my job, professional blogger/trader at 2pm and won’t apologize for it either. Life is grande, albeit a tad moribund. This morning, before I went on a sojourn, I booked the following VALUE trades for profit.

FSR +10.7%, KNDI +6.6%, CLNE +5.6%

I also closed out my SQQQ hedge for a 5% loss, making my “hedging” expeditions 100% unprofitable over the past decade.

I have since slithered away into a dark crevasse, knowing my portfolio is both safe and secure, presently higher by 115bps. While it’s true, on the surface stocks look great, with the Dow up more than 300 — but it’s all a facade, a sick and decaying veneer. If you look closely, hideous monsters are abound. SAAS stocks are lower by more than 1% and dare I say high growth beta cuck plays are off by 1.5%.

I am 5% cash, closing out the week with dignity and honor. Into the final hours of trade, I might, perhaps, chance upon one of those degenerate high growth names for sport, to have a laugh or two. Maybe I might appeal to one of you Robinhood traders, drunk with margin calls, and convince you to purify your body and soul by way of a DEEP VALUE portfolio.

Comments »

Life as a Value Guy is Bland and Moribund

In my second day as a value investor I read up on the Napoleonic Wars, the 7 Years’ War aka the real First World War, and briefly glanced at my portfolios taking on minor damage. I made one faux pas, a trade in a CHINESE SHIT STOCK, that cost me 8% from my basis within seconds of purchasing it.

The market looks disgusting to me, filled with growth stocks trading at absurd valuations. According to my Austrian Economics handbook, the stock market is 90% overvalued.

Meanwhile, we enter mid November and the Turkey Gods beckon. I am indeed betwixt an austere and deplorable existence as a trader and this can only be cured by a gigantic resolution to the downside. We need some “consolidation”, if I might be so bold.

For those interested in celebrating iBankCoin’s 13th birthday, visit our merch store and purchase collectors items sold at deep discounts before I raise prices by 10,000%.

Comments »