iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,593 Blog Posts

Barreling Towards My Destiny — Becoming a Coal Man

Please play song while reading. Thanks.

These past 4 months have been glorious, as I’ve fashioned myself to be a high techFAG, cavorting amongst those in Silicon Valley, chuckling in high pitched tones over $50 lattes and handcrafted chocolates. But as the leaves turn brown, so does my heart turn black, pining for the dark and ominous days of when I was a coal man — stuck in a non-descript mine with nothing but a pick ax and a canteen of water to survive. I’d flail and punish the cave with my hard and angry swings, inhaling the gravy of the mountains deep into my lungs — tarring them with the butter of God.

Time has come, I think — to once again thrust myself into the cave, spelunking down into where the bats and the dragons reside, harkening back to an era of when America was young and beautiful and also disgusting and very dumb. But there was a romanticism in all of that ignorance, one born inside the coal mine — procuring the rock of Satan for the steamships of Athena and the power plants of Poseidon.

I’ll have you know that I am long CLF, in a small degree, but long nevertheless. I will also have you know that the stock has been trending wayward and up — away from any semblance of weakness. Under the Great Trump, America is mining again — men diving into small carts and being roller coastered into an underworld of wonder, danger, and also hard work and toil. Swinging the ax and picking at the cave for the combustible rocks that blacken the earth is a noble and just cause. If we do it enough, perhaps all of our problems will wash away, along with life itself.

Have a gander at the seasonality of CLF — implying now is a retarded time to barrel into the shares. I do so, nonetheless.

To some of you East and West coasters, working inside the bowels of a coal mine sounds foreign, mainly because you’re all lazy sloths, accustomed to having your cars powered by electricity and your coffee heated by solar panels affixed to your ovens. “The Fly” is a man of the people, sensitive to the plights of those inside the shitholes of America — far and distant places forgotten by the nation — because the memory of them was too injurious for most to reconcile with. While the people of Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Ohio might be laughed upon for their nonsensical existence, I support them and their efforts to reopen all of America’s coal mines and bring forth a new era of Victorian steel mills and steamship operators and cast iron works to be outfitted on new Second Empire Queen Ann homes for the rich and row flats for the working class — the honest class of beer swilling game goers.

Comments »

You Cannot Keep A Bull Market Down

I’ve been busy cooking s gourmet meal the past two hours and I had a brief opportunity to glance at markets and was delighted to see that it had bounced. I wasn’t particularly worried about its fate, knowing full well that all dips are bought and all upwards movements are piled into. My only reticence is my schedule, which is chaotic with personal issues and of course success. After spates of wanton success, I tend to become a contrarian fucktard — barreling into inverse ETFs and making a fool out of myself.

Nowadays, I simply reserve cash and trade in cannabis plays, hoping for degeneracy to grip investor psyche. It’s all sport, really. The game of winning and being right is the primary mover for me, not the money. I have enough money to sustain my lifestyle for the next 10,000 years. My goal here, and now, is to spread my brand of propaganda and teach people, as best I can, using the experience I’ve attained over two decades of money management — to cajole people into FIRING THEIR FUCKING STOCKBROKERS.

I know you asshats think you’re financial advisors or planners — but you’re just stockbrokers — so fuck off.

Have a good weekend gents and be sure to take an Exodus trial, or if you’re looking for a quick fix — visit our public assistance site FreeStockAlgos.com for our stock grading system.

Next week we’ll be back at it — killing bears for sport.

Comments »

Friday Shuffling

On my way out — I sold ENDP for a 7% loss and bought SPOT and SONO — because I like music, even though I don’t dance. I once took formal dancing lessons — learning the waltz and several other jazz steps — which was both cringe and humiliating at the same time. I suppose I could hold my own in a ballroom floor, but would most likely be ashamed of anything I might do on an actual dance floor.

Any of you danceFAGS actively embarrass family members by ‘tearing up’ the dance floor?

At any rate, my cash is still ~35% and I’m still long K and CLX. I will sell them next week and barrel back into some SAAS stocks — which are all very strong, and rich, and thin. Have a look at HUBS and behold it’s grandeur.

Comments »

Fly Buy: $AYX

I’m almost ready to sell my olde man stocks and once again fully embrace the grandeur of the tech led stock market. Being that it is a Friday and anything could happen over the weekend, I will refrain.

However, I did take a portion of my cash to buy more AYX — which is now a double sized position.

Happy Friday — enjoy the bounce.

Comments »

Tech is Getting Oversold

Even though we’re barely down, the dips have been shallow and unless this time is different — buy the dips.

Comments »

OLD MAN STOCKS FTW

While many of you were getting your brains punched in, long tech, Le Fly was preserving his money in K and CLX, and pot soda play NBEV — amongst others. I gained almost 100bps today, in a market marred with discord. In the after hours, several SAAS plays CRUSHED estimates, which should lend to the perversion in the AM.

I happen to believe we’re not done going lower. One could only sustain oneself on pot stocks for so long. It won’t be long until we fall apart at the seams and this glass house built atop of a charade will collapse, taking with it all of the indecorous catamites who’ve been dutifully serving this market for the better part of the past two years.

With Trump going out due to mentally instability, so will the stock market.

Who remembers how miserable the very evil Obama market was the past two years of his administration? It was equal to living in the Great Depression, if not worse. With Pence as President and Trump’s anti-fuckery policies gone, I suspect we’ll return to a very staid 1% GDP growth, ravaging and raping markets with sheer contempt.

Gains were found and enjoyed in GIS, HAIN, and KR today. I suspect this trend will continue and expand in the days and weeks to come.

Raise cash or die.

Comments »

***MEGA RARE OPEN THREAD***

I don’t take days off. I even work while on vacation. However, due to exogenous circumstances, I will be away from the desk today and will not have access to a computer, aside from the occasional phone check in. In other words, no fucking blogs today — but maybe a comment or two here and definitely some comments inside The Pelican Room in Exodus.

Feel free to shit inside the comments section here, making blog requests, or asking general questions about investing — sentences designed to find out how Le Fly does it and what makes him the world’s best trader (cue position and portfolio implosion now).

Some topics for discussion.

What will be the hottest gimmick sector over the next 6 months?

AI

Sex Dolls

Cannabis

Blockchain

SAAS

Biotech

Something Else

Comments »

Dice Roll: CANNABIS SODA POP FTW: $NBEV

This is crypto mania all over again, only with this shit — you get high.

Check this out.

Little piece of shit company NBEV is working on a fucking pot drink for their Marley Beverage line, which they purchased several years ago.

How fucking high is this stock gonna go?

Literally just getting started here. Thank me later.

Comments »