18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,359 Blog Posts


Voltron unite (ultimate cringe).

I’m long SMAR and IQ again. As a matter of fact, I fucking double sized my IQ position after watching HUYA break legs to the upside. I’ve got some golden aged thinking going on here hardcore. I’m having visions of yesterday, about a month ago, when the stocks were good and the profits were flowing freely.

Dare I say, you can never stop me again? You might’ve tricked me into oil and kicked me down a flight of stairs lined with mustard with that bastard AGMH; but you will not win while I am armed with a very high IQ. This shit is so cringe, I’m having reservations about publishing this blog post. What if my kids read this trash, or some of their friends? Why, they might get bullied in school and then I’d have to go beat up some Dads.

At any rate, the point here is I am panicking now, attempting to catch lightening in a bottle, capture a fading glory that once made me invincible.

NOTE: I also bought RPD.

Comments »


What did I say yesterday, before you followed me into the oil pits?

“I have no idea what I’m doing in oil and have been wrong in 20 of the past 20 oil related picks.”

That streak continues, in earnest today, as my balls get boxed around with WTI down an astonishing 5% for the day. At this point, what difference does it make?

My losses vary between 3-6% from basis, as I get vacillated in a whirlwind of war, trade war that is. In every war, there are causalities, “collateral damage.” I happen to be one of those statistics, an arm and ledger thrown off a cliff like a beggar.

It’s real fine and dandy to get glib about these sort of setbacks, lunatic market led by a narcissistic chief.

On the other hand, tech stocks are going okay and the downside to the software sector is virtually non-existent. I think I’ll hold all of my cards until tomorrow at least and 20% cash, just in case I feel the urge to get duped into another ruinous oil trade.

Comments »

Zero Fucks Alert: I’m Buying Tech Stocks Again

Yesterday I was sopping up oil. Today I’m back to getting my SAAS game on. I bought TWOU and SMAR — because I don’t give a fuck.

Sure, markets are in turmoil. Sure, we all have the Dunkirk soundtrack reverberating and blasting throughout our manors, even in the outside speakers; but that shouldn’t stop us from declaring “enough is enough”. Too many people have been hurt. It’s time to set aside our differences as citizens of the world and buy stocks.

It’s the right thing to do, believe me.

Comments »

Dr. Copper’s Prognosis: We’re All Doomed

Morning Lads,

Ready to get your brains blown out today?

Futures are off by 200, Nasdaq -55. It’s not a big deal, really; quit your bellyaching.

The US 2/10 spread is now just 27bps. Some analysts are predicting inversion by December, which would meld perfectly with the idea that we’re entirely fucked in 2019.

On the issue of Dr. Copper, what’s this move all about? I’ll tell you what it means: China is fucked.

The only way out at this stage in the game is for China to acquiesce and bend the knee of Emperor Trump. If not, their problems will only get worse. Might I add, consumerism in America will have to take a vacay too, at least on the low to mid-end side of things. If Chinese goods ramp up in price, then disheveled work bumbs in America will need to spend their money on other things, like booze and baseball games.

There are all sorts of things at play now, from semis to soy beans. Trade with China has been disrupted and I’m afraid this is the new normal, until someone blinks. We’ve been spoiled with cheap Chinese shit and all of that has been upended now. The halcyon days when a local manufacturer could reduce his costs by 80% is over now, thanks to Trump.

Comments »

Improve Your Lives — Start Your Exodus Free Trial Now

Markets are crashing and you’re drifting oarless into the current with your backs turned. We fixed the logic that prohibited former users gaining access to Exodus. Providing you haven’t trialed or been a member of the platform within the past 6 months, you can start your free trial today for a period of 7 days.

Believe you me, you’re gonna need this platform in order to stat afloat during these arduous times.

Here are some reviews by our members, attesting the unbelievable grandeur of the platform.

“Yo Fly, this is Jackobee from Canada. I’ve been a member for about 3 months now and because of the gains enjoyed, thanks to you and your wondrous software, I just got married to a gold digging whore.

With love from a very frigid area of the world,

J from Halifax”

Here’s another.

“Hello Fly. Thanks to Exodus I was able to quit my 7 figure job and trade full time with the money I’ve made at that 7 figure job. Using your system, I was able to feel good about myself and am no longer interested in using drugs or becoming an alcoholic.

Cordially sober,

Katie from Minnesota”

This is one of my favs.

“Fly, I love you man. Fuck, I was at college and trading using Exodus and because I made so much money, I was able to quit college and travel the world with my friends. My parents think I’m nuts, but I’m rich bitch!

Outrageously Carefree,

John from Jersey Islands”

Last one. If this doesn’t convince you, nothing will.

“Fly, I was so bankrupts after following Cramer’s advice on CNBC, I literally wanted to throw myself into a lit fireplace. I’d stare into the flames, robed with a burlap cloth, thinking ‘I really need to do this.’ Then by happenstance, I stumbled onto one of your tweets about you threatening to kill someone over questioning your cooking skills and I was hooked. I began a free trial and then subscribed and then sold my personal belongings and lived out of a fucking homeless shelter, in order to trade stocks. My thought process was like ‘I was literally going to throw myself into a lit fireplace; how bad could a homeless shelter be?’ After just two months using Exodus, I was able to leave the shelter and buy a small condo in Miami overlooking the ocean.

I owe you my life and would kill for your honor.

Happy and enjoying oceans views,

Oscar from Miami Beach”

Comments »

Futures Chimp Out in After-Hours Blood Bath, as Trump Asserts His Alpha-Dominance Over China

Here’s the fag-heavy Bloomberg thread, an active discussion, regarding Trump’s wonderful trade war — tonight enacting over $200 billion in tariffs to the dog-eating nation of China.

There’s a lot of theories about trade deficits and most people on Wall Street think the whole deficit complaint is Main Street bullshit. After all, Apple makes their iPhones in China and we love cheap $1,000 iPhones. I tend not to get bogged down in political thinking, or even nationalistic thinking. I really don’t care. It’s the craziest thing in the world. I know — since I’ve been on the other side of the fence, really caring about thy country. Fuck it — don’t care who wins or loses. None of those fuckers care about me. I’m forced to pay almost $20 at the fucking Staten Islan bridge toll just to get back into NJ. Fuck their trade wars and fuck the victors.

The only thing I care about is how can I profit from it.

By the looks of it, futures off by 200, Nasdaq off by 50, is a lot of horse dung. We already knew this was going to happen, so this is reactionary nonsense. I suppose traders thought it was all a joke. Yeah, it’s all a joke until your pantaloons shit its own pants and costs you $50 at Target.

Buy dips. Make a habit out of it. Trump’s lunacy has a way of creating art out of feces. Somehow, someway, this negative newsflow will morph into another great trade, one filled with brutish rapes and all sorts of tortures for the bears.

My quant fund is 20% cash and my active account is 30%, so I consider myself to be supremely positioned for an opening downtick.

Let the real games begin, starting with wiping out the margin buyers.

Comments »

The Churn Continues…Took Another L

I sold SPOT for a 3% gain and ZUO for a 10.5% loss. Over the past few weeks, I’ve taken a bunch of losses, all lines in the sand that had to be drawn in order to minimize losses. Over time, if I continue on this ruinous path, I’d end up in the poorhouse. However, this process is typical of me finding the market in real time, sterilized by losses and trading mishaps. Some are more patient and wait for breakouts; I chase them hoping for more.

When markets revert or churn, this stratagem looks like the very worst idea in the world. But when the momo flows, I look like a fucking God. Managing risk is of extreme importance, the difference between success and failure. I know a lot of great traders, but most of them are shitty risk managers and are unable to deal with losses. They start to see mirages in their charts and, before you know it, their -10% losses are -30%.

When trading high valuation/high growth stocks, you have to be cognizant of the fact that these stocks can trade lower by 50% before bouncing. It’s not a problem.

Until I find out what the market is trying to do, I’ll keep vacillating, so bear with me. Right now I’m heavily leaning towards oil, with a lot of cash. I have one or two tech stocks on my kill list that will need to be culled, should the downside continue. Best case scenario, tech and small caps surge again and I can live happily ever after.

But nothing worthwhile ever came easy, so of course I am preparing for the worst, while trying to anticipate the next leg up in the market.

Comments »

Large Caps Crushing Small — Russell Reverses and Drifts Lower

Days like today is what makes trading for a living hard. For the past 4 months, small caps have outperformed large. Tech has led all sectors, especially software. For whatever reason, junior at the trading turret decided to cash in his chips today. Markets are diverging.

Large caps are up by 0.2% and small caps are down by 0.55%. The Russell 2000 is lower by 0.75%, with noted weakness in recent IPOs and software stocks — the very things that have done so well in recent months.

So is this the end?

I don’t know. But trends ends with a whisper, rarely if ever announced.

I sold out of my old man stocks today, selling PG, GIS, and HSY, freeing up some cash. I am heavily long oil stocks now and only caught flat footed in a few tech stocks: ZUO, IQ, and EVBG. My quant fund is off by 0.4%, thanks to being heavily weighted in small caps.

It’s worth mentioning and noting.

Leading sectors to the upside and downside.

As for oil being the leading growth sector, I hope so. But I’ve been wrong on oil 20 out of the past 20 times. I was fortunate to have taken some profits on WTI this morning and perhaps overzealous for buying another 5 oil stocks in its stead. Some might say now is a good time to raise cash and get defensive. But I have ample cash and I do not have the inclination to be defensive. I am attacking at all times, with both verve and animalistic vigor.

Comments »

I’ve Got Black Gold Fever

I can’t get enough of this stuff. I stepped in and went all in sideways on oil, sopping up shares of ESV, PDS, PE and WFT.

Sure, you can hope and pray for my downfall — but it’ll never happen.

The Nasdaq looks tepid, but the oil sector is cock-strong.

We’re all oil men now.

Comments »

Flipped $WTI for $XOG

Brent crude is at $80 and WTI is marching higher on a daily basis, ingratiating the oil men from Texas and N. Dakota with untold fortunes. I, as an enterprising man of extreme industry, find it useful to profit alongside these good men. Just this morning, I sold WTI for a 14% return and flipped the proceeds into XOG — with the intention of extracting as much money as possible from the American consumer.

As investors, we can only hope and pray that by the time the Thanksgiving frost comes to the Northeast, the price of crude, per barrel, will be nothing less than $200. At such prices, why, there will be fanciful returns, and also money to be made.

As presently constituted, I am long TUSK, XOG and RIG. I realize this is a small portfolio of oil and gas stocks — but you have my word — I am working on expanding my holdings.

‘Tis is a beautiful morning with splendor all around us. Get out there and take hold of your fortune and make sure to trample over anyone, with beast-like violence, anyone who dares get in your way.

Comments »