iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,864 Blog Posts

Happy Super Bowl Sunday 2021 — Dogecoin Edition

Lots of movement in DOGECOIN today, presently trading above 8 cents. Mrs. Fly and my son are long and envision it going to 10 cents, all the while every other real crypto gets wrecked. This is all thanks, in large part, of Elon Musk — who keep tweeting about it. His pervasivness has turned this meme coin into an even greater meme and it’s now valued at more than $12b.

Meanwhile, Super Bowl Sunday 2021 is here and I am treating it as a national holiday here — cooking wings, beefed stew, mashed potatoes, guac, hoagies, an assortment of cheeses and dried meats and of course copious amount of Red Breast Irish whiskey. America’s champion, the goat, Tom Brady presides of the Chiefs in what is sure to be one of the greatest foolsball tales ever told.

I have no market insight for you other than to strongly suggest booking gains in DOGE before the superbowl has ended. Rumor has it that Elon took out a Super Bowl ad to hype it. I don’t think he’s that crazy, although I could be wrong.

Enjoy the festivities.

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As the Nasdaq Approaches $14k, I am Once Again All In

I don’t give a shit if I lose money on Monday, so I assembled the biggest piece of shit stocks I could find — all rippers — and I bought them for Monday surprise! Will I bog myself down 10% or up 10%? Only time will tell. I am +87% YTD and do not have any fear that it is even possible I could undergo a drawdown, of even a single day.

Today I traded up to +400bps and then fucked myself after taking the dogs for a walk — entreated to a -27% raping in AMBO. I had to book the loss — since the stock comically collapsed on me. Now had it been a large position, a trade like that might’ve ruined my year. Trust me when I insist and tell you — keep your positions sizes at 5%.

In the end, everyone gets that they deserve — and I deserve great magnificent things. There are maybe 10 of me in the whole world and we deserve to win on a continuous basis.

Have a great weekend and remember to thank the Gods for our large bounty and fortune.

I am 97% long and eager to remember how it felt to lose a little.

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House Fly Undergoes a Most Unfortunate Event

For those who read me for a long time know that I barely sleep. I sustain myself on 2-3hrs rest per night, as I enjoy the night owl life and all that comes with it. Yesterday I ventured off to buy myself a new HORSE HAIR mattress — because this memory foam shit I have now is utterly ridiculous and is killing me. While at the store, I ventured upon a nice pillow and I bought it. Last night I went to sleep on said pillow and it was so comfy — it caused me to oversleep. In the pre-market I was up 5% and because of this fucking pillow — when I awoke at 10am, I was barely up 75bps.

The thing to do in circumstances like this is to sell everything, so I did. I locked in the gains, punched my pillow in the face, and continued to jog on with the intent of getting it all back.

As of now, after a series of brilliant buys, I am +3% for the session. For the year, my gains exceed 85%.

Those are my gains in comparison to my other long term account — not even close eh? How am I doing it? I day trade very often, 50+ trades per day, and never hold onto losers. I will often cull anything that is down and I rarely hold stocks longer than a few days. I take gains just as fast and really depend upon Stocklabs to give me volume breakouts (it’s coming soon, I promise). My position sizes are always 5% and I rarely fully invest. My trades are constant and I am always moving. This process is highlighted in our live trading room in real time, Exodus. I am not the only one crushing and some are doing better than me. However, when this shit-show ends, and it most certainly will, I can assure you that I will play the downside with effortless sublimity.

I like small cap oil, Chinese burritos, and anything with momentum near session highs right now.

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The Carousel Continues to Whirl, Spitting Money Out Along the Way

Massive speculation in biotech and Chinese burritos were the highlight to today’s tape — also the fading of Chamath and his stupid fucking SPACs, thanks to Hindenburg. Truth is, billionaires can fuck right the hell off (extra Bernie). When I become a billionaire, I will fuck off too.

The unfortunate part about the rally was the unpredictability of the moves, intra-day. Typically the runners continue to run; but today they shot up and faded, which made it difficult to day trade. I took scores of small losses today, which is necessary when trading. I was lucky to awaken to massive winners in AVLX (+77%) and SKLZ (+24%) and I pretty much did my best to squander that throughout the session. I ended up 365bps, left with 15% cash — long a pastiche of degenerate vagrant homeless man stocks which looks more like a cry for help than a plan to make money. Nevertheless, and this goes without saying, the stock Gods favour me.

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WELCOME TO WALL STREET

Millions of brand new investors were baptized by fire this past two weeks, as the machine on Wall ground them up into chopped meat and grilled them to be eaten by some of the hungriest hedge fund managers around. The idea that a decentralized group of FUCKING MISFITS could form a phalanx and HOLD THE LINE amidst record chicanery is the most laughable thing I’ve seen since TLRY peaked at $300.

Let this sink into your thickened skulls.

No one gives a shit about you, especially not here. When you fail, no one will bail you out — because you’re just not that important. You eat what you can kill and you never trade out of emotions or idealism. Fuck your politics and fuck the mission you think you’re on. The only thing that matters is getting from 1st base to second and then third and then home. Your enemies are ill defined and your friends are non-existent.

Now take your losses and learn from this experience and I don’t ever want to hear from you again, Mr Diamond Hands. And shame on the media and all of the fucked faces who pandered to that group of inexperienced fucked for faces on Reddit.

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(YAWN) MORE WINNING

I caught two winners using Stocklabs volume delta tools again last night. We talk about this in great detail inside Exodus and I’ve been remiss to explain it to you, the unwashed reader class. Nevertheless, now is not the time to do such things.

I sold AVXL for +77% and SKLZ for +24% and stand before you a most supreme individual. Net gains stand at 5% and I’m just getting started. Cash is 60% and I’ll take my time wading into this fuckfest of depravity.

I want it to end, but it just won’t,

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House Fly is in Order Again — All is Well

I can’t chin-wag too long since I have tennis lessons at 5pm. My instructor is very old and cranky and gets mad when I do poorly and doesn’t have the patience to fuck around with me being late.

I conjured up the courage to regain my status after forking over some of my gains earlier in the day. I sold the losers, regrouped, and then I only bought winners. I ended up 3.1%, holding 27% cash.

I have no reason to suspect the trend will shift — but I am of course skeptical about anything being this good.

Nevertheless, the only way to be is long. If you’re not — you’re wrong and if you’re wrong — you’re a fucking idiot.

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House Fly in Ruins — Gains Dissipating Throughout the Session

I was a stout man this morning — walking gayly and freely with a barreled chest of rage. I had gains of 4.6% and had plans to take them to 7.5%. Why not, I asked? I could do anything at all — since the Stock Gods favored me.

Then I started trading in and out, quick and fast without real discipline and soon watched myself allocate all of my cash into stocks that did nothing but trade down. They didn’t trade down fast — just a little — enough to accumulate losses over several hours and bring me down into the sewer dumps up just 1.5%.

To be honest, I am tempted to just clean the slate and begin anew. After all, down 300bps from the highs isn’t something I should just tolerate. Markets are clean and nothing is alarming me, so it has to be my positions.

In other news, ETH keeps breaking out, now above $1650. If you missed it and think it’s over — you’re wrong. Also, I like UNI (Uniswap) as a play on Defi, more or less a derivative play off the success of cryptos and ETH.

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INDEUD

Every once in a while I am entitled to boast and show my bravado for a job well done. I positioned into pot stocks sublimely and took my bounty this morning — having sold out from TLRY for a +23% gain, in addition to gains in KERN, NEPT and others. I also took a day trade in AVXL for +15.5% and several others, might I add, for copious returns.

I stand before you completely naked and with rod +360bps for the session, 50% cash.

I had just eaten a smoked salmon on soured dough with dill and lime and feel as if I could punch a hole right thru the face of a rhinoceros.

Ordinary accounts are up in the range of 0 to 1% today, managed by ordinary men doing ordinary things. We of course endeavor for MOAR and trade like the wind, both strong and stout, and never stop until our fingers are bared to the bone and our eyes are bleeding from overuse.

Ethereum is over $1600, a significant milestone from when I started buying last year in the fucking $100s. I haven’t sold a single coin and buy some every month and will continue to do so for another two years.

Markets look fine, especially oil.

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SMOKING POT INTO THE CLOSE

For the record, I believe pot is degenerate and degrades anyone who consumes it. Nevertheless, I am a merchant at heart and know when the winds are blowing west. I positioned heartily into POT STOCKS today and believe we’re in the 6th inning of this rally.

Also, markets look good.

Also, Jeff Bezos is stepping down as CEO. Wow.

GOOGL smashed earnings. Remind me why I should be cautious here?

I ended the session +150bps after enduring some early losses. I am quite literally invincible and cannot be stopped. The stock gods favour me more than anyone else and I prove it every single day in Exodus.

GME closed down 60% and I am sorry for those of you who got hoodwinked into believing it would race towards $1000. Nothing lasts forever, not even love or hate. Do not believe people can remain stalwart in the face of greed and lust, all of the worst emotions humans have to offer. GME was a scam and always will be a scam — because their business is antiquated and stupid. Take your lumps and move on like a man — because that’s what men do. We admit when we are defeated and retreat back into our comforts, concocting new plans of attack that will both entertain and enliven us.

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