iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,855 Blog Posts

PREPARE FOR MOAR

It was a fine close. Let it be noted that not only have you exceeded your authority to comment on financial matters, but you also have offended and injured me deeply with your ignorance. This is precisely the type of close one likes to see.

One enjoys the tinder to cast an orange hue just before roasting the flesh of the uninitiated. You’ve never traded in markets like this, because you were born a short while ago, and have zero life experience in bear markets. Let me educate you how this works — FUCKED FACE.

Markets will sashay, even glide, higher for the balance of January. LateFAGS will then Bogart in fast, hoping to catch a quick score, only to be horrifically executed by a fast and sloppy blade.

You’d be wise to refrain from shorting stocks until the charts break lower. That’s all you have to do is wait. Quit trying to anticipate where stocks are going and simply look at them now.

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Fed Acquiesces to Markets, Indicates It’ll Pause (no homo) Soon

This is the sort of bullshit one should expect from the Fed. Remember this always: it is their job to make stocks go higher. Without a positive wealth effect, pensions get defunded, budgets disjointed, chaos reigns supreme. If you’re shorting stocks and betting on a black swan, just know you’re taking on a low probability trade.

Source: CNBC

“With an increase in the target range at this meeting, the federal funds rate would be at or close to the lower end of the range of estimates of the longer-run neutral interest rate, and participants expressed that recent developments, including the volatility in financial markets and the increased concerns about global growth, made the appropriate extent and timing of future policy firming less clear than earlier,” the meeting summary stated.

The indecision was reflected in rate forecasts among individual members. Officials cut their expected moves this year from four to two, citing a range of concerns about growth and volatility in the financial markets.

“Concerns over escalating trade tensions, global growth prospects, and the sustainability of corporate earnings growth were among the factors that appeared to contribute to a significant drop in U.S. equity prices,” the minutes said.

The statement after the December meeting replaced the phrase “the Committee expects that further gradual increases” would be appropriate, to “judges that some further gradual increases” are coming. Using “judges,” the minutes noted, was a signal to markets of the data-dependency the Fed will employ. Also, “some” was meant to imply a “relatively limited amount” of hikes would be coming.

WTI is +5%. Junk bonds are green, and stocks are ripping to session highs. If I can teach you but one thing it is this: THERE ARE ENDLESS POOLS OF GENIUSES WHO KNEW MORE, BROKE AND DISHEVELED, AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA, WHO BET AGAINST PROSPERITY. It’s a hard gamble, and you have to be hard boiled and belligerent to pull it off. You’re better off going with the sheep.

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$BILI CLUBBING AGAIN

We’re back to BILI-clubbing again. I’d like to see any of you try to stop me. I’ll rip your arms out of your sockets and beat you to death with them.

Look at this chart. LOOK AT IT.

$17, post haste.

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LONG UNTIL WRONG

The market is probably gonna day-rape a lot of people today, swinging to and fro in blackguardly mannerisms. It will fribble away the portfolio values of the weak and mentally disabled. Men in sloppy cloth getting cleaned for their coin — because they chose to anticipate markets instead of bowing it its grandeur.

My biggest losses and with the most prevalence, occurred after I felt something would happen, instead of actually seeing it being done. In other words, quit thinking you’re special and ahead of the curve. You’re not. That one time you nailed an huge inflection point was luck. If you’re not repeating those wins over and over again, you’re fucking up.

Quit fucking up. Follow the market. It certainly will not follow you, fucked face.

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DUMPSTER DIVE ALERT: $UXIN

No analysis needed here. I stepped in and bought some UXIN, piece of shit Chinese burrito, down at the lows, at a time when stocks are melting up. Potential upside is YUGE.

Probability of this happening: small.

I accept the risk.

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STFU WE’RE GOING HIGHER

You buffoon — quit taking the market so personally. You aren’t any good at it because you think it should do what you want it to do. Markets don’t give a shit about your opinions or your feelings. Frankly, I’m sick and God damned tired of reading your incoherent rants. You little shits always come out from the woodworks when markets go down. Like little trolls, you creep around here offering predictions of gloom and you do it without verve or panache. Quite honestly, it’s disgusting.

I am all in on the long side because of some simple facts. It’s no different from a mathematical equation, if to then analysis.

If oil and junk bonds trade up, then stocks will too. Got that you fucking faggot?

Words cannot aptly describe the level of frustration that I feel with some of you — especially the fucking retards who try to tell me how to run money.

Look at the futures spiral higher. LOOK AT THEM.

Now remember who told you it was going to happen. REMEMBER!!!

Now can we get back to thinking straight and with some dignity? I’ve put up with enough of your wanton buffoonery the past decade. I do believe I’ve earned your silence.

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Markets Are Overbought — And That’s a Good Thing

We broke out of the downward channel and now threaten to menace short sellers with great vengeance and alacrity.

Over in Exodus — we’re overbought. But based on this stress level over the past 36mos, 85% of the time gains were enjoyed.

Bottom line: This is a high probability trade, even if it lasts for a few hours during tomorrow’s tick tock. The shares I bought today, late in the afternoon, are all subject to my whims and how I’m feeling in the morning. Maybe I’ll wake up moody AF and sell them all. Or perhaps I’d get all patriotic, don an American flag around my back, and continue to hold BABA and my other holdings. Like I said earlier, there’s no fucking way “The Fly” can lose — so get it out of your thick and ugly skulls. I’ll be dancing on graves first thing tomorrow morning.

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THE GREEN LIGHT FOR MOAR HAS BEEN GIVEN — ALL IN

I bought the following in the last ten minutes of trade.

$X, $GOOS, $SNAP, $WLK, $DBX, $SPLK, $WDAY, $PYPL, $FB, $BABA

My cash position has dwindled to a paltry 5%, with a 20% TLT position as a ‘hedge’. Truth is, I am bored and do not want to sit on the sidelines during a period of obvious bullishness.

Will stocks stop going higher tomorrow?

I have no way of knowing that. What I do know is the prevailing near term trend is higher and I have a high conviction that this mood will spill into the opening tick.

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WAITING IN THE TALL GRASS TO BUY MOAR

I’ve idled myself after selling WB and FNGU today. To be honest, I’m acting more like a complete pussy than someone with a set of stones. What I ought to be doing is buying with savage qualities. After all, markets are heading higher again and the doomsayers are on the ropes, tentatively awaiting to be executed.

By George, by 3:15pm, I will have a plan to once again allocate most of my money, to the long side. It is a wall of worry I am willing to climb.

Whatever Trump is going to say tonight is immaterial. Markets will gap higher, IF we close at the highs. The gameplan is to ensure participation by purchasing macro-ETFs or a slew of fucking stocks that correlate well to the broader indices.

It’s a dizzying panorama of degeneracy and I know it. To be an effective trader, one has to burn hot, which is why so many kill themselves by the rope or crash into walls and into gasoline charged fires. This is a poor mode of living, always on edge, pretending to be confident, when in fact we’re nothing more than servants to the prevailing trend. After all, I’d like to see stocks trade to fucking zero, but that won’t happen. Will it?

The time has come to end half measures and old man moves. “The Fly” is young again, punching off mustaches with his elbows — shattering his knuckles into the faces of those drinking chardonnay oceanside. If I lose on this bet, all of you have to cut your dicks off.

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