iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,359 Blog Posts

Morning Poppers (Fly’s Manly Breakfast Edition)

I woke up this morning and decided upon a very masculine breakfast — because I’m a man and that’s what men do.

I whipped out my french press, violently boiled some water, tossed some coffee beans into a grinder and produced some ground coffee. I then took said coffee and placed it inside the french press and then splashed some water inside of it and let it brew for exactly 6 minutes.

Looking around the kitchen for something to eat — I grabbed the first thing I saw — a banana. I then took some leftover bacon that my kids had left 15 minutes prior and some crunchy peanut butter in the pantry and slathered some on the banana, and then sprinkling bacon atop of it like the Salt Bae — only much cooler and with more grace.

I then took my black coffee and my banana mess and sat down and began to write this stupid post.

Early going, futures are higher. Pot stocks look strong, based on this news.

Tilray receives necessary regulatory permits in Canada and Germany to export medical cannabis flower for distribution to German patients (104.95)

The export of Tilray’s whole flower medical cannabis products will make Tilray the first and only medical cannabis company with a differentiated product offering of both full-spectrum oils and whole flower, including some of the highest potency products available in the German medical market. More details on how patients in Germany can access Tilray’s whole flower products will be released later this year.

The BOE left rates at 0.75% and Turkey hiked to 24%.

Any questions?

Good. Now let me eat my banana.

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Top High Risk-High Return Idea

Chinese stocks have never been more distressed than now. This includes the financial crisis, the Chinese currency crisis and everything else in between. This oscillator in Exodus measures stress levels for all Chinese stocks and the implications can be staggering.

The downside to this trade idea is the stocks in the sector are wrought with pain and upside resistance. The upside is sheer fucking lunacy.

My favorite ideas are JG, BILI, IQ, and HUYA — the usual.

The top ranked in Exodus are CEO, SECO, SNP, ZLAB, and BILI.

Top chicoms by Sharpe: HLG, GDS, FANH, and BGNE.

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Booked the Hundred Dollar Roll — Onto the Next One

When I was an idiot stockbroker in NYC, we used to buy stocks on the cusp of breaking the magical $100 plane — because once it did it would almost immediately ‘roll’ to $106. It was dubbed the “Hundred Dollar Roll.”

I’d like to take credit for this vernacular on Wall Street, as I know I invented it. However, I am sure there are some of you fucktards out there who believe you did. Whatever the reason, this seems to work again and again.

Yesterday I bought GWRE under $100 and today I sold it for almost $103. It was, quite honestly, the easiest money I ever made — literally stealing money from men in wheeled chairs who are also sleeping.

Yesterday I had the idea of only buying stocks at $95+ heading towards $100 just to prove a point to you. Then I remembered I have nothing to prove and that would be unwise.

With the proceeds, I bought BE. That stock is poised and destined for higher prices. If it doesn’t I’ll retire from blogging and run throughout the green fields of Romania naked.

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Dogs Are More Important Than Humans — Bought $PETQ

I had a real life discussion with a person about dogs and how she thought they were ‘better’ than humans. She pointed out all of the horrible things humans did and then juxtaposed it against dogs running with their tongues hanging out, slobbering against the green fields in search of joy. I then described a world without humans and tried to convey the point that dogs, mind you, haven’t invented the wheel yet and that they were ‘stupid animals’, albeit sweet and charming.

This debate led to me being described as a modern day Hitler, a hater of animals and for that, ironically, I should be killed. I then said “dogs are inherently very stupid and cannot treat the flu with antibiotics — because they haven’t set up an Institute of Science yet.”

This comment was once against met with revulsion, because dogs are cute, fluffy, and interesting creatures to pet when we have idle time.

There’s a small company named PET IQ and the ticker symbol is PETQ and they profit off the ‘humanization’ of dogs — because animals are more important than humans and deserve to rule over the planet in order to save it from the scourge of mankind.

As an aside, once humans die off, dogs will be too stupid to make dog food — so PETQ will go bankrupt.

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I Cleaned Up My Act and I’m Not a Coal Man Anymore

I just booked a 10.1% profit on CLF, a stock I had purchased on September the 5th, 2018. If you annualize that return you can plainly see why I consider myself to be the greatest trader alive. There isn’t anyone remotely close in this galaxy.

With the proceeds, I intend to clean up my act and buy something environmentally friendly, such as a plastics company or maybe something to do with semis, or software, or nothing at all. They do say abstinence is the best form of birth control. You can’t fuck yourself if you don’t partake in the game, believe me.

The Nasdaq is soft and Jamie Dimon is smarter than Trump. All is good in the world and if you follow my trades closely, and very quietly, you too can be a great trader.

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I’m Broke and Penniless — Absolutely No Cash Left

I used the balance of my cash reserves to catch a falling knife, executing an order to buy JG. It’s a foolish thing to do in September, especially with the Chinese stocks barreling lower. But they’re at the ass-end of the trading range and I don’t give a shit.

In the midst of all the confusion, supernatural storms racing towards N. Carolina’s research triangle, Le Fly is doing okay long his pastiche of colorful stocks. My K and CLX are behaving defensive and CLF is ushering in a new era of blackened coal to be placed inside every home.

My GWRE is hundy rolling to $106, and life is fine.

This JG trade will work — because it’s new and also because any semblance of treaty talks with N. Korea will be inferred to be bullish on China trade talks.

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Eat Pumpkin Pie or Die

There are a handful of really good moments of enjoyment in this life. One of them is taste, the ritualistic moments when a person can sit down and really enjoy the food in front of him. Some of you lean sideways into retardation, gobbling down greasy foods like beer swilling idiots. Others only eat dietary foods, salads, steamed fish, veggies — fuck yourselves.

Le Fly has experienced all forms of diets, from gluten free, to vegan, to pescatarian, dairy free, to zero carb horseshit. Without question, the very best diet is one without restrictions — eat what you want when you want it. If this entails wolfing down an entire pumpkin pie during the Fall, so be it. As fate should have it, I’ve been partaking in such a task this week.

Being the only gent at House Fly who cares for the wonderful flavors of Autumn in a pie, I find myself diving into it more and more — dumping a trowels worth of whipped cream atop of it. Truth be told, I view pumpkin pie as a dealbreaker of sorts, the singular food item that can forever link me to you or vice versa. Persons who do not enjoy it are forever tarnished in my mind — relegated to the trash heap of society.

Here’s an interesting question.

Do you eat your pumpkin pie with milk or coffee? Personally, I could go either way. Dairy free non-milkFAGS get the rope, so don’t step to me with your almond or cashew shit.

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FULLY INVESTED — I CANNOT BE STOPPED

I bought COUP based off the Exodus algos, which strongly suggest the stock isn’t done going higher.

I bought GWRE for the hundy roll to $106 and even promised to cut off my own head in Exodus if it didn’t happen.

And I bought NTNX and ZUO, born out of frustration after seeing numerous SASS favorites splurge to new record highs. Bear in mind, I had bet on the future of HUBS, ZEN, and TEAM with my testicles and only abandoned those securities once I lost interest.

Here’s the problem with me and investing. I have to do something at all times, moving around, trying different ideas. Just today I had to refrain myself from buy AOI, based off the cannabis news that had come out. This is why, and I can unequivocally say this is true, the best thing I never did for myself was develop the Quant strategy and allocate 75% of my money into it. I do not touch it and simply let to do its thing, only revisiting the stratagem once per month.

Today the Exodus Quant is higher by 90bps. Year to date, gains are in excess of 15%, growing cheerily and gingerly without pause or emotional disruption — the way God intended.

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Kicked Out of $SONO — Eagerly Awaiting Frightening Florence

Hurricanes aren’t fun, but the profits you glean from them can be exhilarating. I recall back during the Katrina days and all of the money I made in natural gas. Granted, it wasn’t worth the death, carnage, and destruction, but I bet you some people enjoyed it. Word of advice, leave the areas that will be afflicted by the ‘Cane.

Having now said that, I can pursue a scheme to profit off of Florence. There are a variety of ways to do this, the first being GNRC — power generators. Another one is BGG.

Heck, I can post my Hurricane Basket here, the one I created a decade ago during some ‘Cane — but then that wouldn’t be fair to the good lads inside Exodus — good upstanding paying members. How dare you!

Some other ideas include IMKTA, Carolina based grocery chain.

How about JELD? They make doors, also based in NC.

ECOL — hazardous waste pick up.

COST, LOW, and HD are obvious — but too big.

PGTI — hurricane windows.

I’m very bullish on the efficient market theory, which counts on the collective of people in the market being able to efficiently price securities based off news. Watch for anything trending or moving fast in price — then go check the profile to see if it fits into the storm narrative.

Happy hunting.

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