18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
17,112 Blog Posts

FLASHBACK: Matt Lauer Chastises Bill O’Reilly Over Sexual Harassment Charges

In light of today’s news that Matt Lauer sexually harassed multiple people at NBC, I think it’s interesting to see how Lauer handled the O’Reilly interview, following his leave from Fox for similar charges. I strongly suggest that Bill now reach out to Matt and switch roles, this time Bill taking the high sanctimonious role, chastising Matt for being a perverted and evil man.

BONUS: Lauer’s NBC Today show hosts get emotional over the charges, expressing their love and deepest sorrow for Mr. Lauer.

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During one of their gauche summits, the Vice President of the ECB, Vitor Constancio, warned of U.S. stocks being overstretched, implying we’re do for some sort of pullback. Anyone familiar with this term ‘pullback’? He said one of his old man ratios were above historical averages and that if US markets pulled back, it might spread to a global sell off.

Speaking to CNBC, Vitor Constancio said: “Certainly the cyclically-adjusted price (to) earnings ratio in the U.S. is well-above historical averages.”

“We see that some markets are overstretched or at least with indicators that are away above the historical averages,” Constancio told CNBC.

“At the same time we can see that volatility both in the equity and the bond market is very low, which experiences shows in those situations some events may trigger a sudden revision of expectations by investors,” the Portuguese banker said.

Who the hell does this guy think he is anyway? How dare he talk about US markets in such a manner. Doesn’t he know we’re becoming great again, which is why stocks are up? Fucking bastard. I never understood why Portuguese cuisine excluded rice and instead favored potatoes until now. Those fuckers are starched the fuck out and have no zest in their morbid lives.

French’d fry eating bastard.

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Morning Poppers (The Fall of House Lauer Edition)

I’m so glad to see Matt Lauer finally get fired. I must admit, however, this wasn’t the reason I expected him to go — but he’s gone now — so thank God for that. According to the GIGANTIC FAGGOTS at CNN, Lauer was fired by NBC for sexual harassment, a charge proven by an employee, which also led executives to believe Lauer has been a filthy little pervert with more than one person at the network.

And just like that…he’s gone.

The other and more important BIG NEWS of the morning is Bitcoin, effervescently and refreshingly spring boarding higher by a modest $950 to over $10,840. It’ll be at $11,000 by the time I finish this blog. It’s also noteworthy to see Ethereum higher by 4.5%, rolling towards $500. That one really gets the boys from Goldman pissed off and they’d like nothing more than to see it dead.

Over in Europe, the Eurostoxx 50 is higher by 0.77%, yet both copper and WTI are still weaker. Nothing can get those two going — ordinary party shitters. Over on the unimportant yield spread side of things, we’re looking at 50bps, doomful, yet also delightful.

Nasdaq futures are flat and Dow +55.

Here’s some other shit to consider.

Domino’s Pizza upgraded to Buy from Neutral at Nomura
Broadcom target raised to $313 from $300 at Canaccord Genuity
Qualcomm downgrade details — to Hold at Stifel; tgt raised to $75
MuleSoft upgraded to Outperform from Perform at Oppenheimer
Wingstop downgraded to Neutral from Buy at Guggenheim

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I bring forth news of the grandest proportions. Bitcoins were dallying around the past few days around $10,000, fucking with haters, teasing like a cheap whore. Well, all of that has come to an absolute end this evening; as you stock faggots position into securities gearing towards LAUGHABLE 10% annual returns — the motherfucking Blockchain has transmorphed into the cockchain and is now ballyhooing recklessly through a field of swinging blades with a GIGANTIC erection postured outwards towards the world.

We’ve got all sorts of shit to discuss tonight, such as a possible super breakout of a new player called Cardano, which now sports a market cap upwards of $4b and is higher by 405% over the past week. This shit is for real — the freedom of finance is finally here and you mother llamas are missing out by being dumb and old, transfixed on investment banking scams and equities riddled with onerous regulatory shucking and jiving. That’s the beauty of the crypto-world, unhinged, unconnected, from the bastard cocksucking regulatory bodies who stifle innovation, forcing CEOs and boards to be accountable to their shareholders. These tokens are not shares and do not offer voting rights, merely the essence of greatness that is literally the foundation of breaking free (busting loose edition) from governments and establishing a new hierarchy and aristocracy in high finance, one that cannot be taxed, nor fucked with, by Federal Governments (shots fired).

Let’s have a look at some of tonight’s chart breakouts. Personally, I like the look of Litecoin; that fucker is poised for greatness and higher prices; best to get in now — before all of the Johnny Come Latelys finish their Johnny cakes and barrel into it — propelling it to new heights.

I am looking for a modest 2,000% gain from current levels.

Stellar Lumens is also interesting. Both Reddit and Github forums are straight fire tonight, talking about this being the next one to go. Fuck, just thinking about it makes my cock hard.

And here are the others.

If you dial down the market cap, you can find some really interesting coins, such as Ethereum Movie Venture, Dent, Royal Kingdom Coin, and Aeron. But I suggest sticking with the bigger one’s for now, especially toward year end, because it’s a sure thing and doesn’t have too much risk.

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Trump Tax Reform Back on the Table; Stocks Ballyhoo Higher

Well, well, well, it looks like the GOP might get their tax reform after all. The Senate Budget Committee approved the GOP tax bill, enabling it to come to vote later on this week. It’s possible that the bill will be voted down, but not likely.

Also, the new Fed guy, Jerome Powell said he wasn’t into regulations, which also helped stoke this fantastic market rally.

The Dow is higher by more than 250, S&P +25, Nasdaq +30.

Perhaps my spidey senses were working overdrive today, or maybe I made some friends along the way when I was blogging politics the past year. Either way, I was able to sell DRIP and LABD earlier, both for profits, and quietly get into what I consider to be the very best recent IPO, one that is not being talked about at all: AQ.

I got in at $12.34, and now it trades north of $13.40 — but it’s not done going higher.

On other fronts, my gains are even more extreme.

My VERI is higher by 20%+ for the day, and both HMNY and VUZI are better than 3%+. It’s also worth noting, the Nasdaq is weaker than the other indices and my NVDA short is profitable now — lower by 1.7%.

I’m not sure what exactly the fuck is going on; but it’s Xmas time and people are more apt to be joyous and happy than glum, so expect stocks to jog on through the balance of the year. The very worst market turns have always occurred after the New Year’s, so be on guard for that.

Although valuations are high and gains abundant, all of this is being supported by great earnings, so it’s not all froth. Should tax reform pass, there is no question that such a passage deserves a multiple expansion in markets, something that might not be fully priced in yet.

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Fly Sell: $DRIP, $LABD

I sold my DRIP position for a 15% win and LABD for a minor gain. With some of the proceeds, I bought AQ. This greatly reduced my bearish positions in my discretionary, positioning me for more decadence, as the market rides Santa’s sleigh, hoping to avoid KRAMPUS.

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Wall Street’s Underbelly Transfixed by Bitcoin Craze

You know how I feel about BTC; it’s a zero. That might sound outlandish, even scandalous to some of you true believers — which is fine. But when bubbles percolate like this, the late comers are always the most bullish — attempting to make up for missing out on the trade. These people are always the strongest advocates and talk the most shit — like these clowns.

I lived this shit before and did everything you’re doing now; the outcome will not be different this time. Most will be racked and ruined upon the altar of greed. Like you, I too thought the dot coms would last forever. I was 23 when the bubble burst, doing $250,000 per month in production — long cocking it — talking extreme shit to the older men in the boardroom who scowled at me for buying dot coms. It wasn’t long after that when those became dot bombs and I blew myself up to smithereens. You’ll read about that in part two of my book coming soon.

Back to Bitcoin. Companies are now changing their names to accommodate Blockchain buzzwords, all for the explicit purposes of boosting share prices. Press releases are being carefully edited to promote new crypto exposure, again to boost share prices. Sound familiar? For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, long ago, in a time like now, retarded CEOs changed their company names to XYZ.com in order to ride the internet craze. Stocks were flying off the handle on the news and traders made a fucking fortune…until they didn’t anymore.

Here are some of the recent crypto related runs on Wall Street, all of which is happening in third rate companies.

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Morning Poppers (The Milestone Edition)

Good morning lads, cold as bricks out here — just about on my way out the door to withstand the frigid weather. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, being able to freeze to death in the Northeast tundra winters — a contemplative time of year when the men think long and hard, staring into the blazing fires, smoking a pipe and drinking something strong. Civilization was built on days like this — not of the tropical varietal with fools prancing around in shorts, hopping from beach to beach in search of depravity.

Futures are sharply higher this morning, nearly 50 Dow points — but WTI is off by nearly 1%. The VIX is sub 10 again, indicating a perverse complacency has once again infiltrated markets, as it watches, almost unflinching, as Bitcoins reach 10,000.

I’ve been thinking about BTC often these days, only because of the grande absurdity of it all. Why, if the ‘currency’ went to $100,000, it wouldn’t bother me at all, just like I don’t get mad upon reading about Garbage Pale Kids’ cards are skyrocketing in value. I have zero interest in the whole gambit and only watch from afar, amused by the spectacle.

Copper is down 1.6%, further accentuating the spot of weakness enjoyed in mainland China the last few days.

Here are some other important headlines for your early morning consumption.

Aquantia initiation details — Buy at Needham; tgt $15
Amazon target raised to $1450 from $1300 at Goldman (Street High)
L Brands: November 2017 sales preview: Positive First Reads on Thanksgiving/Black Friday Selling Period — Telsey Advisory Group
Buffalo Wild Wings agrees to be acquired by Arby’s Restaurant Group for $157/share in cash, or approx. $2.9 bln
Rockwell Automation: Emerson (EMR) withdraws its proposal to acquire Rockwell Automation for $225/share due to the Rockwell Board of Directors’ continued unwillingness to engage in discussions about a potential combination

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Crypto Guru Calls for 6x Gain Over the Next Year — Sees No Reason Why Cryptos Can’t Be Worth More Than Gold

This is one of my favorite interviews of all time — the crypto guru — the man who called Bitcoin $10,000, professional investor who sees more inside of his crystal ball.

Mike Novogratz from Galaxy Investment Partners said the $300 billion market cap in the cryptos is ‘nothing’, juxtaposing it against the frothiest bubble of all time — Nasdaq circa 2000 at $6 trillion, stating this phenomena in cryptos is global, unlike the Nasdaq, implying that Bitcoin should replace gold.

Short term, Mike is looking for modest gains of at least 300%, and perhaps 6x by the end of 2018 — up to a $2 trillion market cap.

Plainly, Novogratz doesn’t understand why Bitcoin can’t be equal to or more in market cap than gold’s $8 trillion — suggesting the ancient metal’s glory days were behind it.

REMINDER: The CME will begin trading futures for BTC on 12/10, which means Wall Street will have a liquid market to short it.

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Vanguard is Calling for a Correction — Returns For the Next Five Years No More Than +5%

The King of passive investing, Vanguard, is out with commentary warning that a correction is just around the bend. I’ve been reading these notes for two years, especially from Goldman, and nothing evert happens. Perhaps Joe Davis, Chief Economist at Vanguard, is right this time around.

He’s predicting returns of 4-6% over the next five-fucking-years.

“It’s about having reasonable expectations,” Davis said. “Having a 10 percent negative return in the U.S. market in a calendar year has happened 40 percent of the time since 1960. That goes with the territory of being a stock investor.” He added, “It’s unreasonable to expect rates of returns, which exceeded our own bullish forecast from 2010, to continue.

The risk premium, whether corporate bond spreads or the shape of yield curve, or earnings yields for stocks, have continued to compress,” Davis said. “We’re starting to see, for first time … some measures of expected risk premiums compressed below areas where we think it can be associated with fair value.”

David adds, “don’t become overly aggressive. The next five years will be challenging, and investors need to have their eyes wide open.”

HAHAHAHA. These people are GIGANTIC FAGGOTS, making wild eyed predictions that stretch over half a decade.

He concludes:

“It’s important to separate what is expected of the global economy from the price being paid for it. In the United States, stock prices have already been bid up based on future business expansion. As markets rise and valuation on the Shiller has risen … [it] doesn’t mean we’re in bubble territory, but we have deviated from where values should be,” Davis said. Historically, low interest rates on bonds help explain why stock valuations have overshot corporate fundamental growth, but still can’t justify the valuation levels.

I suppose we’re all gonna end up on the ark, one way or another.

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