I get lots of unsolicited emails, mostly good. A very small minority of you would like to see me perish in fires or drown in an ocean, eaten alive by crocodiles–starved to death inside of a trunk. However, the vast majority know greatness when you see it. Ergo, I am praised by many, hated by few.

Some of you equate my stock market actions to the heroic storming of the beaches of Normandy, or the dropping of the atomic bomb over Nagasaki. Others believe “The Fly” to be a prophet, here on earth to ingratiate himself with vast splendour and unparalleled riches, sharing with you, the plebeian reader, along the way.

The truth is somewhere in the middle. “The Fly” is an action hero, fighting enemies and conquering them through extreme acts of financial violence. He’s like Captain America, Batman, and Spider-man, wrapped up into one giant atomic bomb over Nagasaki.

I do admit, rather freely, however, that comparing me to the legendary soldiers at Iwo Jima is a bit much and a tad insulting to the valor demonstrated by those men fighting with the savage. However, I do suffer from formidable pangs of misery, advanced torture methods inflicted upon me that can be no different from criminal acts of war against hostage POWs.

That being said, I am faster, stronger, and smarter than all of you, which is why you are “the reader” and I am the founder and author of a world class financial website, whose sole purpose is to teach idiots how to bank coin in the stocked market, a rigged game in a hallway filled with smoke and mirrors and trap doors and false ceilings. Believe this, without me, you would be in very dire straights, loitering about homeless shelters in search for hot bowls of chowder and stale bread.

Alas, that is not the case and my immortality insures that you and future generations of your ilk can and will be rewarded with the ever-lasting fruits of my calculator-like brain, an IQ of 155, speed reader, and commander of all things pertaining to equities.

You thought I was defeated last night, after seeing SLCA down heavy on an earnings miss. What you didn’t count on is “The Fly” calling upon ancient spirits to fuck you up. Those same spirits will ultimately lead to your end in NDRM, HABT, WFT and others.

Lads, don’t bet against me. You’re only hurting yourselves, no different from riding on a bicycle without handle bars.

The fuck out of here.

What did I say? Oil is on the move higher now. One more day of stability/strength and the entire fucking patch is going to scream higher. At that time, I will likely sell off my newly minted WFT position, retire off the coast of Monaco and live like ‘big man’ for the duration.

You keep guessing, trying to trade in and out of the market like a fucking Jack in the Box. Truly pathetic.

Biotech is on the move higher and it looks like PCYC caught a bid. One name I forgot to add to my biotech buyout list is SGEN, another Baker Bros holding. What do you know about Baker Bros?

Absolutely nothing.

There are two types of people in the market.

1. Guys like you, throwing dirt bombs at the screen–declaring yourself a fucking guru.

2. Guys like me, who generally bowl on people like you–due to a vast reservoir of talent and experience, all stemming from a genetical make up of superior design.

Oil catching a bid here means you go long Russian stocks too. Both YNDX and QIWI are holdings of mine, personal favorites. Plus, the Ruble has been gaining versus the dollar.

Nothing can stop this.

You know how I feel. What you are witnessing isn’t a stock market rally, a short squeeze, or a technical move off the ass-end of a long consolidation.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a celebration of mankind. You are fortunate to be alive at a time when barbarians roam the earth, beheading people for titling their heads sideways during prayer, then posting the video of the ordeal onto social media.

For every reason not to invest in stocks, I can counter with 100 for. These are the days of your lives, an era of grande profit and distinguished decadence. Celebrate this day, all of the days, amidst your harems. Ask your mistress to serve you some caviar along with the usual order of champagne this evening. There will be great profits to be had. All you need are the tools to mine said profits.

As luck would have it, the good folks at iBankCoin are about to undergo a new venture in the capital markets, by offering to you, the daily pleb, FREE boot camp courses, for both 12631 and After Hours with Option Addict members, during the month of April, led by some of the tabbed bloggers of this virile site. Those who are not members, there will be a nominal fee to gain entry, as time costs a great deal of money. Along that vein, this will last throughout the month of April.

Details will be forthcoming.

I was up 1% for the session, now +12% year to date.

Big moves happening in the solar sector today. I would not chase those fuckers after such a run higher. Although I liked the airlines, I’ve convinced myself that crude is going to bounce this week. As such, I eliminated my exposure to the airlines and added to my oil longs. The QIWI position is nothing more than a play off Russia. Given my bullish position in crude, I figure Russia will bounce with stronger oil prices. Plus anyway, QIWI is trading at a 50% discount to where it was trading last year, in terms of PE and P/S ratios.

Everyone expected Yellen to disappoint today. I think the speech went well and there is no fucking way the Fed tightens now, as the CRB index hits 1996 lows. I’ll say it again and to the point: THE FED IS NOT GOING TO HIKE INTEREST RATES, NOT NOW, NOT EVER, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE ARE FIGHTING DEFLATION.

What if they did hike rates?

We would deflate further and the stock market would fall. In what world is that a desirable outcome for the Federal government, who is reliant upon cap gains taxes and market appreciation to sustain underfunded pension funds? I hope you understand by now, for good or for worse, that governments around the world are in a pickle. This situation lends to their desire to see equity prices continue to rise, in order to avoid budget cuts and recession. They will continue to buoy markets for as long as they can, so you might as well get it out of your immature minds that stocks are heading lower.

While individual sectors might weaken and markets transition from one phase to the next, the over-arching story in our lifetimes will be one of a bullish design.

Trade accordingly.

We’re just coasting along here, aren’t we? It’s sort of eery, being able to make money without drama. Then again, if I recall correctly, last year offered a similar circumstance, until all hell on earth broke loose in March. Part of me wants to move to the side here. My aggressive side wants to stay the course, press the envelope. We’re all gamblers here, at the end of the day.

Even hamburger stocks are behaving. Nothing is this easy.

Oil is stable; but oil stocks look weak. I think you buy them into today’s weakness and sell them towards the end of this week.

I’m not afraid of the Fed. Then again, maybe I should be, since Yellen is a god damned crazy old sea-hag.

TOL posted great numbers. PANW caught an upgrade. AAL caught a downgrade. The world turns and ISIS is still free to sever heads without any tangible ramifications. The armies of the middled east are without penis.

Moving on. I believe NDRM is going to moonshot soon. I don’t have any reason to believe it will sky-rocket, other than the indelible fact that “The Fly” wins all the time. There are always side-notes to my trades that I am unable to share with you, the strange people from the internets. At any rate, I have a busy day ahead of me. I’ll be sure to share my thoughts if anything changes in the market today.

Ciao