“Mr. Son of a bitch, let’s play some cards.”

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qPgrCFcwFk 450 300]

I bought 15,000 [[UYG]] @ $15.77.

Disclaimer: If you buy UYG because of this post, the NL will never win an All-Star game again. And, you may lose money.

[[VLY]] posted decent numbers. As a result, “The Fly” is an early morning recipient of a claw hammer to the cranium. People get overzealous, buying shit like it’s going out of style.

Look at the [[CLF]] for [[ANR]] deal. That doesn’t prove the materials sector is undervalued. Instead, it displays the stupidity of the CLF management team.

On the [[WFC]] news, banks are trying to rally here. I am always skeptical. However, today I believe they will go up. As a result, I bought a quick 10,000 shares of [[UYG]] at the open. As you know, this is an average down for me.

With oil weak, banks stocks posting good earnings and a few deals getting done, the bulls MUST rally this market. If it cannot run up 200+ points today, they’re fucking doomed.

If you are heavily short stock, I strongly recommend you hedge your bets with some double upside etf’s, like UYG or [[ROM]]

National League=Bank Stocks.

UPDATE: Mr. Mortgage on the wonderful world of housing.

The American League will win and Dan Uggla will make three errors.

Developing…

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FQVG-KYFyQ 450 300]

Poof. Your bullshit closet and market reversal is gone.

-Merlin

Parting thoughts: I thought [[USB]] was ‘best of breed’?

Do not trade the rally, laugh at it. Remember, the Fed is bailing themselves out, via supporting [[FNM]] and [[FRE]]. They (the Fed) are now in possession of 100’s of billions of dollars worth of GSE’s, thanks to their retarded shit for treasury ‘lending facility’ with the investment banks. So, by putting a backstop on the GSE’s, the Fed, essentially, is supporting their new/fucktarded holdings.

The fact that Paulson refused to elaborate on how much this “bailout” of Fannie/Freddie will cost speaks volumes. It is likely to cost American tax payers 100’s of billions.

With my money, I might nibble at some shorts here or buy some more [[FXP]]. However, beware of a sharp rally, led by gay men in florescent jumpsuits, calling another “bottom.”

A bunch of homo bottom lovers, they are.

Once again, just to reiterate logic and reason: [[RIG]] goes higher and so does gold. My favorite way to play gold is [[DGP]]. If you really, really hate the dollar, long [[DGP]] and long [[UDN]] is for you.

I locked Merlin in the closet.

Developing…

That’s it. The crisis is over. The VIX hit 30, [[SKF]] topped and oil is knifing lower: global growth is back.

With the markets about to go positive here, [[UYG]] is worth a shot. I bought that fucker a little early. Nonetheless, should the market “power vault” higher today, I’ll retake some of my lost coin.

I could care less what you oil bears think. [[RIG]] will trade higher.

So, my game plan for this “obvious bottoming action” is to hedge my shorts, via long UYG and RIG amongst others, while quietly reloading my short positions.

Next thing you know, you’re walking down the street and some asshole jumps out of nowhere and clubs you over the head with a stuffed bear head. That’s me.

Into this melt up, I want to sell short [[HDB]], [[WABC]], [[VLY]], [[LFC]], [[CHL]], [[EWBC]], [[PCBC]], [[PACW]] [[CATY]] and [[FHN]].

With today’s move in FHN, “The Fly” is taking that fucker out of retirement and reinstating it as one of the five “Reverse Horsemen.”

Also, should [[PZN]] ever go up, I want to sell it ten ways to Sunday.

I’m a little busy now. Go away and quit bothering me. Can’t you see, I got work to do?

Fuckers.