Fly Buys: AGU, SRS

I bought 5,000 Agrium Inc. (USA) [[AGU]] @ $84.79. And, I bought 2,000 [[SRS]] @ $94.19.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, you will be attacked by a swarm of locusts. And, you may lose money.

Thus far, the market is 300+ points lower (and counting), since Cramer’s recent bottom call. Marvelous! I just wanted to put that on the table, just in case you were unaware—God forbid.

Gloriously, the bank stocks are shitting the sock drawer, partly thanks to rotten numbers out of [[HBC]] . Mainly, bank stocks are trading lower because they went up so much, over the past two weeks.

Much to my chagrin, ag stocks are being mauled. As you know, erroneously, I am long Agrium Inc. (USA) [[AGU]] . Let’s just say, my individual equity ideas are being a bit stubborn this morning. Full disclosure, I sold some Clean Energy Fuels Corp. [[CLNE]] on the opening tick, following Cramer’s pump. Did I really have a choice?

Thankfully, I am loaded to the gills in [[FXP]] , [[SKF]] and [[SRS]] .

On the matter of important hurricanes sweeping away entire sections of the U.S.:

It appears we will have to wait. Eduardo is a pussy. As a result, oil and natty stocks are trading off with fury. Go figure.

The whole commodity complex is being busted out, from gold to corn. VeraSun Energy Corporation [[VSE]] should be a buy soon.

With commodities coming down, the U.S. economy should benefit. However, keep in mind, prices are still very high. In order to get me bullish, crude needs to drop below $80 and natty below $5.

FYI: natty is a scam and never deserved to trade north of $10. They were just fleecing you.

Finally, with the FOMC ahead of us, I expect stocks to trade lower. There is nothing Bernanke can do but try to talk the dollar up. He will not raise or lower rates. At the present, he is a sitting jackass, with both thumbs up his ass. Into any strength, I want to take advantage of the smoggy skies of Beijing and get long more FXP.

NOTE: I am still chuckling, not laughing, over Cramer’s bullish bank article, written this morning— citing (of all people) Rich Pzena’s (founder of Pzena Investment Management, Inc. [[PZN]] ) bullish stance on the banks. Perhaps an ideal time to short TheStreet.com, Inc. [[TSCM]] and PZN, providing stock is available? Remember, Pzena is the same guy who is knee capping his own firm, via large bets on banks.

Eduardo to knee cap the filthy Bayou, yet again.

Click here for some up-to-the minute hurricane wish fest jargon.

Developing…

On a ‘Deacon of Death’ development, I like my chances being long GulfMark Offshore, Inc. [[GLF]] , TXCO Resources Inc. [[TXCO]] , Natural Gas Services Group, Inc. [[NGS]] , Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] , Transocean Inc. [[RIG]] and Ultra Petroleum Corp. [[UPL]] .

This is the first important matter:

And, for the second:

Check out iBC’s new quotes.

Fiddle around with it and tell me what you think. We are contemplating using them or another provider. Oh, by the way, Cramer pumped my Clean Energy Fuels Corp. [[CLNE]] . Therefore, it might be a good idea to take some off the table, first thing Monday morning.

UPDATE: Mr. Mortgage details Cramers resume, with regards to “bottom calling” and the financials.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j_TDoOPnIA 450 300]

See you Monday.

NOTE: I just could not let myself leave a “position update” of [[WB]] as the the headline story.

This is the only bank stock, aside from [[AIZ]], that I am holding. There are a slew of rumors running rampant, ranging from buyout to another big write down. My approach to WB is the following:

It’s a “what if I’m wrong” position. It goes against my market thesis; so it is a bit of a lotto play.

In short, being long WB sort of hedges against being short [[LEH]]. Providing my dire scenario turns out to be inaccurate, WB will trade north of $30, one day. If I’m right, I will be selling this sucker, under $10, while making bus loads of doe in [[SKF]].

In other news, celebrating GM’s abysmal car sales numbers (-32%), via buying stocks, is the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen since Michael Jackson kissed that chick on tv.

I’m in this big wheeled monster truck, with spikes and missiles on it, while you’re over there in your bullshit pleather chair from Ikea, looking at charts with your magnifying glass and fucking ruler.

I’m buying [[FXP]], like a drunken stock broker. And, I am selling short the shares of [[VMC]], as if the company was going out of business.

It’s Friday. Relax, drink a few shots of Patron, then short some stocks.

On a side note, [[MS]] keeps chugging higher, alongside a number of queered out banks. The fuckers who are buying bank stocks, must be wearing pink dresses and dislike sports. I can’t figure out why anyone with a modicum of intelligence would buy banks, after they have sprinted 50%.

Look you, of course the banks have bottomed, from where they were. It doesn’t take a Phd in economics to figure that out. However, you have to ask yourself, are they good buys now—after such a big run up?

With regards to [[SKF]]:

That bedeviled inverse ETF is down like 80 bucks in one month, since hitting its egregious high. What, do you think it’s going back to $90? What the fuck are you smoking?

Bottom line: the economy is not in recovery mode. As a matter of fact, it is deteriorating. Upside on SKF is 100 points, with downside of 25. I like those odds.

UPDATE: iBC’s new tabbed blogger has arrived. Welcome Gio, the Hawaii Trader.

So many of you losers were in love with [[ELN]], because it had a ‘dreamy’ chart. See where it got you, fuckface?

Making financial decisions based upon charts is equal to marrying a woman solely on her looks. For those of you who have been taken for “half,” you know that’s a bad idea. Sure, she may be nice to look at for awhile. However, eventually, she gets old, turns bitter, then takes you for “half.”

Investigate the companies you are buying, goat lovers.

Personally, I admit taking a “gander” at charts, mainly to view past history. I like to see how a stock reacts to good or bad earnings. This way, I know what to expect.

Every time I buy a stock, I write down the expected return and ‘worst case scenario.” It is important to understand your stress levels and how much risk you can incur, on a single or series of trades.

Enough of that.

Thus far, I’m quite pleased to see the unemployment rate up to 5.7%. Rick Santelli went on quite a tangent this morning, when he exploded and chastised the delusional CNBC panel for trying to paint the pig gold.

Look, a loss of jobs is a loss of jobs. It’s not a little bit good. It’s all bad.

Jobs are the life-line to the economy. Remember, our government has socially engineered us to spend all of our savings, in order to support bridges that go to nowhere. However, their plan gets a little rattled when, all of a sudden, we are without jobs. This will panic them.

Expect to see more stimulus checks, going out to idiots with plasmas on their brain.

The government sending out money to people, so that they can buy shit from [[BBY]], so that BBY can pay the government taxes, is equal to [[MER]] financing the sale of their CDO’s to Lonestar.

I’m just saying.

With my money, I want to buy [[FXP]] here on the dip. Wait for [[CHL]] to roll over, then jump on it. And, I want to sell short [[TCB]]. In my opinion, fair value is around $10, or less.

Oh, I also like short [[VMC]].

NOTE: My [[CLNE]] looks great here.

Fuck the Olympics.

The expansion of the world’s fourth-biggest economy slowed for the fourth straight quarter in the three months through June on weaker U.S. demand. China raised tax rebates for shipments of textiles and garments today and the commerce ministry is pressing for slower yuan gains to protect exporters after the currency’s 6.8 percent advance against the dollar this year.

“Companies are less willing to invest as export growth slumps, credit gets tighter and the economic outlook worsens.”

Read full article.

In other news, Australian insurance giant, Suncorp, is having its head “cannon balled,” thanks to the glorious banking system.

Suncorp-Metway tumbled 14 percent, or A$1.93, to A$11.45 as of 1:35 p.m. in Sydney on the Australian exchange, set for the biggest one-day drop since June 1989.

Challenging Conditions

“Our result for the 2008 financial year has been affected by external factors, including the global credit crunch, volatile equity markets and a succession of severe weather events,” Chief Executive Officer John Mulcahy said in today’s statement.

UPDATE: The Godly folks from iBC are thinking about retaining the quote services of Alpha. Go punch in a quote and check it out. Good or no? Thanks.