I am Smoking Crack

Do not hate on “The Fly” because his life is so much better than yours. There is no future in your communist way of thinking. I strongly advice that you pray at the altar of Ronald “Mcdonald” Reagan for forgiveness.

I don’t punch clocks and I rarely work. My lifestyle is what some of you might consider “retired.” Back in the old days, I’d work like a jackass horse hybrid of some sort. However, now I just flick cigar ashes at my clients suggestions. Truth be told, I will fire each and every one of them before I die.

OPEN is taking the fuck off, despite what uninformed short sellers post on the interwebs. I knew I’d regret selling it. However, it wasn’t meant to be.

Going forward, I am smoking crack, crack spreads that is. If you are not familiar, go look it up. I am not your helper.

Spreads are up another 2.5% this morning, following yesterday’s 6% gambling spree. I am telling you now, as sure as I am sitting here, the hot money is not invested in the refiners yet.

I am hedging my large refinery bets with long positions in both DAL and LCC.

In short, the streets of Syria and everywhere in the middle east are on fire and Japan is in the process of creating Godzilla via nuclear waste. BEHOLD the splendour [sic] of the stock exchange and get some.

Just to recap what will be described many centuries from now as a “seminal day” in the stock market, I nearly depleted my cash reserves down to about 10%. I booked a stupid loss in PESI and added to a variety of names (see prior posts for details).

At the moment, I am surrounded by 35 iBC guard, all carrying black flags, with the sole purpose to rout and destroy any and all bearshitter in our way. The banner of iBC stands for winship on a magnanimous scale. Whether it be from the mathematical precision inside of The PPT or the surgical strikes taking place inside 12631, iBC reigns supreme. Aside from that, we’ve gone “full retard” into the news business, fucking with your SEO game on a very high level. Let this be a warning to you, your market share is in danger. Be sure to follow us at ibc_fn, or I will eat your bones.

In closing, there is nothing more that matters to me, at this very moment, than refinery stocks. You will bear witness to a great win, done for you in slow motion, space alien magician style.

I added 20,000 WNR to the arsenal.

I don’t give a shit again. I’m throwing fear into the pile of shit, better known as my neighbors front lawn. Gold is getting face boxed, while stocks hold gains. It’s “risk on” bitch and there is nothing you or your stupid friends can do about.  Truth be told, I have numerous enemies hiding in various domains around the internets. These miscreants watch me very closely, waiting for an opportunity to say “AH, HA! I fucking knew it. You suck balls.”

No Sir, quite the contrary. You suck balls, indeud. “The Fly” doesn’t stoop down to your low levels. Hell, I wouldn’t even beat you with my top hat, for fear of getting it dirty. People wear white gloves when they visit iBC, but defecate on your blog. You are outmatched, good Sir, and do not have enough howitzers to challenge a person like myself, let alone myself. So, do humanity a favour, shall we, and stick a dagger in your head now, in order to expedite the inevitable.

I am buying large amounts of OXY, for the hundred dollar roll. And, I added to FORM. In addition to that, I started a small position in AMRN. It really isn’t my style. However, I am interested in squeezing the shorts over yonder. Finally, crack spreads are ripping to the upside, now up 4%. They were down 3.5% earlier.

LONG WNR and VLO in size.

I bought 20,000 OXY, a little more FORM and started AMRN.

Let’s keep it simple and call a spade a spade. There are numerous variables that create volatility in this market. We can talk about Portugal, Greece, Japan or our munis. But, at the end of the day, there is one common denominator that brings us back to the straight line: LINES OF COCAINE OFF RED HOT TOMAHAWK MISSILES.

Ben Bernanke smokes philly blunts at night, decrying how he will “get those bitches tomorrow,” meaning bearshitters wrapped in burlap. Everyone “feels” the market is going to crap out based upon some historical comparison, yet here we are defying gravity. I am not unique in the belief that there are people inside of the Federal Reserve who actually do lines of blow off freshly minted currency. Additionally, I am not the only person who thinks this is all a joke that will one day be revealed as some sort of science experiment on humans, created by our alien overlords.

Nevertheless, I am having a difficult time grasping with the concept of perpetual meltups as well, considering the multitude of reasons to sell. Having said that, I find that keeping a cash position over 20% calms my nerves and allows me to nap during the day and/or play ping pong with rented Chinese friends.

In short, no one really knows why the common denominator is stock market on dynamite sticks, but it is. So, until proven egregiously wrong, you might as well buy any and all dips as if your ugly faces were on fire.

It didn’t matter what WNR’s intra-day price was today because it’s going higher. Even though she gave back some gains, I remain stoic in my belief that it will erect again, north of $20. In addition to that, I have FORM sprinting higher. People, this is classic buy the blood trading. There are few reasons to buy, multiple to sell. I am saving myself from making errors just by avoiding short selling. No matter how bad this tape looks, I will not short it. Period.

I got VLO and TER about to rip the tits off you short selling dicksuckers. Sadly, I am out of OPEN, as it creeps its way past $100.

I am long some airlines for a hedge. Basically they are doing exactly what they should be doing today: down. “The Fly” is readying his space rocket to laser beam your house into dust.

Holy ape shit, I can’t keep up with all of the news flow. It’s egregious.

Let me try to recap:

Libya -fucked
Egypt- fucked
Bahrain- fucked
Yemen- fucked
Israel-fucked
Palestine-double fucked
Portugal- fucked
Ireland-fucked
Greece- fucked
Japan-fucked

Did I miss one? I mean, who in their right mind wants to be fully invested with all of these headwinds. Look, it’s nice to be a positive person, without worries or brains. But some of this shit has to stick. Don’t you think all of this shit is a bit much for a global economy trying to recover from a banking disaster?

Who the fuck knows?

All I know is that commodity prices are lifting off. Everything from rice (Thailand is cutting back from 3 harvests to 2) to gold to oil is going up, despite dollar strength. People want to believe in something tangible in a world of lies and deception. You can touch corn, but not the lying face of Obama.

I am fully invested for my standards, until the world cools off. I will keep my 25% cash position reserved for a rainy day.

Before I invented The PPT, I used to spend countless hours scouring for stocks that takes me seconds to find now, literally. I am going to share one of my favorite screens with you leaches now, in the spirit of giving and democracy. The way I figure, if President Obama can spend billions on liberating a population of 6 million, the least I can do is share a simple screen or two.

Criteria:
Technical reading: over 2 (tech score consists of acc/dist, price performance, relative strength, volatility and volume, as well as proprietary “fifth column” and sub rosa metrics aka secret sauce)
Market cap: over 1 billion
ROE: over 15
Short %: over 10%
FPE: under 35
Quarterly Revenue Growth: over 25%
% from SMA 20: between -5% to +5%

Clarification: I am using SMA20 because I like buying stocks that are in uptrends. However, it’s not a deal killer.

Results:

CLR
INT
AMKR
CNS
SWI
PRAA
YGE
SOHU
CAVM

What’s next?

Cross reference seasonality data to see if there are any standouts.

Both PRAA and CNS standout in that regard. However, seasonality data does not make me buy stocks. It’s more of a novelty. The critical part of making the decision to buy a stock is timing. Is the timing right?

Enter recent PPT extreme range chart.

As you can see, The PPT registered a very high reading yesterday. As a matter of fact, it was the 2nd highest reading ever. To me, first and foremost, this is a sign to tread carefully, which is why I opted to nibble on FORM today, instead of bite. I still have a 25% cash position.

Finally, the last of the leg work is good old fashioned detective work, which entails reading through research, listening to conference calls and calling management. I know most of you do not bother to listening to calls or reaching out to management. Let me tell you, that is a HUGE mistake. How do you think I knew so much about FTK? There was no research available or informative press releases. Call the company and build a rapport. You will be shocked by the value you can extract from meeting with management or conducting private client conference calls.

These are just some of the methods used to find new ideas. Often times, ideas come out of left field. But the very best ones are homegrown out of a belief. Nothing beats conviction.

When I was starting out in the brokerage business, I bounced around from firm to firm in search of riches. This one place I was at was especially seedy. One day, a new broker was seated next to me. I was just a punk kid, with zero prospects, but lots of fire in my heart. Anyway, he was an older Russian dude with a thick accent, sort of weird looking. He sat down and introduced himself and made all sorts of proclamations about his business. He said he had 500 clients and did 150k gross per month. Hell, I didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about, so I just ignored him and continued “dialing for dollars.”

He plopped a comically large stack of leads on his desk, declaring “these are my clients.” Shit, from my vantage point, they just looked like leads. Right away I though “this fucker is a lunatic.”

He stepped away for a second, apparently off to take a leak at the firms bullshit bathroom. Fifteen minutes later the office manager came over to his desk, rummaging through and gathering personal belongings. Lo and behold, on the very same day this fucker was hired, he passed out on firms bullshit bathroom floor, heroin needle stuck in arm, straight up dope fiend style. Ha!

It gets better.

The brokers (sharks) who worked there saw this as an opportunity and took EVERYTHING from this guy’s desk, down to the last lead. It sort of looked like a pack of hyenas scrounging for wilder-beast leftovers. When the old Russian dude came back the next day for his stuff, all that was left were nice send off notes from the gentlemen in the boardroom.

For the day, I lost money. But now I’m off to celebrate anyway. I’ll make that shit back tomorrow.