Snooze Fest

Back in the old days, the old fuckers at my firm would be nodding out in the boardroom right about now. They didn’t give a fuck about decorum or work ethic because they had $20 million in their trading accounts. So, on slow days like this, they’d snore at their desks.

You need days like this, in order to lure in buyers. I’m not having a particularly good day, as most of my positions are down. However, as long as WNR stays erect, all is good.

Right about now, “The Fly” needs to be in his automobile going 195mpg down the wrong way of a busy avenue.

See you fuckers in about an hour.

I bought 25,000 FORM under $10.

I like a few things here. One, as all of you know, are the refineries. My favorites are WNR and VLO. To hedge that, I am long airlines. Anyone that travels knows planes are packed to capacity and they are charging outrageous prices again. This is a classic Econ 101 play, where demand outstrips supply leading to higher margins. Should oil ever fall back, airlines will rip tits. My favorites are LCC and DAL.

I’ve been looking into food safety plays, due to Japan, and found NEOG. Any of you fuckers know the name?

In the tech space, FORM and TER are my favorite plays. Go take a look at FORM’s balance sheet and their new order from Elpida. Without a doubt in my mind, FORM is a $16 name.

Like I said last night, 2011 has been a hard trading year, but I have a plan. I know the sectors and stocks that should outperform. It’s simply a matter of executing my plan without getting distracted from novelty ideas. It’s worth noting that both MOTR and BORN were novelty ideas and ended up costing me lots of fucking dough.

Until I am satisfied with my returns and have room to breathe, I will be sticking to core thesis plays and avoiding short term trading opportunities, no matter how much they tempt me.

By the way, this is my worst trading year since 2004. Typically, I get off to a quick January, usually up more than 15% by now. Yet, here I am, midway through March, and I am barely up 8%.

What the fuck happened? How could I be so retarded?

The answer is very simple, yet convoluted. As many of you know, I had my faced MOTR boated about a month ago. And more recently, BORN fucked me up something awful. However, in my defense, BORN wasn’t my fault. I was right about their numbers and the stock went up big on earnings day. However, all of this bullshit, cocksucking, Chinese fraud is fucking with BORN. I ate the loss because I lost the initiative.

As for my personal account, it is now up about 4%. In all, 2011 has been a very uninspiring year for me. So many times I get excited about a thesis, then find myself on the receiving end of a homo hammer, having to trade my way out of murder holes. My latest and greatest endeavor is to be long refiners. Let’s see how this shit works out.

Disclaimer: Assholes, I do not require your feedback or tips. You are beneath a person, such as myself, and should feel lucky for even reading this shit.

You are not permitted to address me directly today.”The Fly” is roaming his office, dressed for success—white robe, sandals, crown. For all of you goat fuckers who bellowed about PESI, go eat a dick. I’ve been a little non-descript lately because I am in the process of making a very large bet. This year, for me, has been marked with crazy volatility, with big winners and big losses. I’ve been MOTR boated, BORN with a fucking headache that I can’t shake. I do not like to live in mediocrity, so I am making a large directional bet.

For me, there is no better investment thesis that the refiners right now. Period. Nothing else competes and I am going to invest millions behind this belief. Personally, I own more than a million dollars in WNR stock. Additionally, I have been buying VLO whenever I see my shadow, like it’s some sort of fucked up version of groundhog day.

Today’s wins were marked with “awesome and amazing” price action in TER, WNR, VLO, FORM, MAS, FLWS and PESI.

I added to my already large WNR position.

Disclaimer: If you buy WNR you will get castrated. And, you may lose money.

Some more than others, of course. In preparation for today’s festivities, “The Fly” has catered the event with some of the finest caviar and roasted pig the world has ever seen. At the offices del Fly, the sounds of champagne glasses and men of industry reverberate. Large plumes of cigar smoke choke out the weak people and pikers are destroyed without warning.

We will toast to the prospects of a 4th war in the middle east, yet to be announced, while watching employees fence and cut each others arms off.

You might believe some of these things to be false. However, let me remind you of your place, one that resides in a vacuous world of mediocrity. “The Fly” swings large bats with dynamite attached to the tip. He is only interested in winning, even more than that cocaine addled dick-sucker Charlies Sheen. Moreover, it’s not enough that I win. My thirst is only quenched when my substantial wins are paired with your loss, not so much different than a 2005 Bordeaux and a .000001 inch thick rib eye.

Like a gentleman tipping his top hat to another, I expect this market to show me respect today. I sense it wishes to make amends with me, especially for the shit it pulled on Friday. I will have you know, rather immediately, I will accept all conciliatory gestures from the hours of 9:30am until 11am.

Good day

Top picks: TER, WNR, VLO

Fucking war is wonderful for stocks. The more brains left on tarmac the better. Pardon my demeanor in the last post, I am far from a humanitarian. As a matter of fact, should the world population decrease by half, I’d celebrate such an event over a nice plate of fava beans. I’d also eat lots of swordfish, despite its great many nutritional detriments.

Wars and such are annoying. From an investing standpoint, it fucks up the basic equations. They are, without a doubt, knuckleballs. Case in point: Iraq war.

I remember when the war in Iraq started people thought oil would drop from the mind-boggling price of $30. ROFL. Look what that shit did to oil. Also, one could make an argument that the “wars on terror” precipitated the eventual collapse of the banking system in 2008, through a “loosy goosy” monetary policy, coupled with BUSHENOMICS. The trillions plus spent on the military-industrial complex, over the past 10 years, has contributed to the instability of the dollar and has spurred on inflation.

As far as the market is concerned, barring some sort of environmental meltdown in Japan, the news is all good. Monster deal announced: T buying T-Mobile. And, for crude lovers, this Libyan shit is nirvana. Bomb that fucker into the future. Let’s create some sort of fucked up black hole in Libya, then drop electricity bombs on Ghaddafi’s house—shocking that fucker into the black hole, sending him to the future. Once he gets to the future, we can arrest and torture him, then send him back. He will make all sorts of wild accusations about being tortured “in the future,” but no one will believe his crazy ass stories. Then we can lock him up in some fucked up mental institution, where Doctors can remove pieces of his brain to “help him adjust” better to his environment. These are well thought out policies that should be considered by the new “coalition of the #winning.”

Long oil, and other shit, especially refiners etc. Cash is going back in.

Sorry to come out all anti-war and shit, but this is ridiculous. There is a vicious civil war in the Ivory Coast right now. Shouldn’t we, as the world police, bomb the fuck out of them, in order to secure cocoa reserves?

Answer: NO

So, Obama got elected by pissing on Bush’s foreign policy decisions, decrying the war in Iraq. He campaigned on the promise of bringing peace and avoiding foreign conflicts, yet here we are “protecting the people of Libya.” Hmmm, that’s interesting.

What’s even more interesting is France’s overzealous demeanor to interfere in Libya’s private affairs. I mean, after all, did we interfere in the countless genocides taking place in Darfur?

Let’s take a peak at Libya’s oil reserves, shall we?

According to the EIA, Libya has 46.4 billion barrels of proven oil reserves, of the light sweet variety. Oil experts consider Libyan oil to be of the highest fidelity.

Twenty Eight percent of Libyan oil exports go to Italy, while 15% to France, the two largest markets for Libyan madman, Ghaddafi.

In my opinion, this will lend to strength in Brent crude and widen refining margins even further. The asshat analyst from Barclay’s who said refiners would trade lower, as the spread between Brent and WTI crude tightened will be wrong, immediately. Moreover, I don’t see how the allied forces will be able to oust Ghaddafi, without the presence of ground troops. In short, this will drag on for awhile and will boost the price of crude.

It’s fucking shameful that we are spending millions of dollars on a conflict that is none of our business, especially at a time when we need to be fiscally conservative. Remember, we are not really protecting “civilians,” but rebels armed to the teeth, capable of knocking out Libyan fighter jets from the sky.

NOTE: We fired 110 Tomahawk cruise missiles so far, at $569,000 per missile. Let’s see, 569k x 110= Long RTN. Obama just created a handful of jobs for Raytheon. Well done, Sir.

Fuck Obama.

NOTE: We have a new iBC Financial News page web design.

Well, fuck this week running sideways. It’s been awfully unprofitable for me, topped off with a late day decline in WNR. Sometimes liquidity trumps fundamentals. In this case, crack spreads are being ignored for crackhead spreads, with investors saying “see ya fuckbag,” heading for the exits.

All week long the market was up big or down big. It’s rather fitting that today end up, but lots of stocks close down. The internals behind today’s tape are dreadful to say the least.

At any rate, there will be plenty of pitfalls next week to doge, from flash revolutions to nuclear meltdowns: this market has it all.

I’m out of here.