iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,443 Blog Posts

THE 10,000 POINT RALLY IS ONGOING

I told you last week that I was looking for a single day 10,000 point rally. Well, I bring you good news and fortune: it is coming. The robots who trade this market are experiencing an “overwhelming sense of elation and euphoria” thanks to the year on the calendar. Believe it or not, the programmers had the wrong date inside of the HFT matrix. Up until last week, the robots thought it was 2008, when in fact it is 2011.

Holy shit to the upside!

As a result, we should all kick back, relax, smoke some marijuana, and protest the protesters on Wall Street. As a point in fact, Wall Street is back and we’re all gonna be richer than “Fat Fuck” Rick Ross, if you could fathom that at all.

I’m gonna close out my day with this post because there is nothing else to say. We’re not in 2008 and Europe has decided “it will not accept another Lehmans (sic).” That is some powerful shit right there. Smoke it. Once again, 10,000 apologies for my rough and tussle use of the english language. “The Fly” grew up on the wrong side of the street and has deep seeded issues that have never been addressed. So, should you venture to iBankCoin from some shit-box library down in the bible belt and find my prose to be somewhat offensive, say a prayer to your God for Plutonium Petey because he really doesn’t give a fuck what you think.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZOAqb8yVo4 603 500]

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NOW PANIC BUYING

Once again, VXX is taking me to the woodshed, now down nearly 15% of my basis. I am cutting losses on it today. If the market tops today and VXX soars 50% from here, I will tip my hat to those who bought my liquidation. A line in the sand needs to be established in order to restore order. With regards to TZA: it’s a much smaller position and I am willing to let it sink deeper before I cut losses there too.

Little did I know, amidst all of the insolvency and bank fuckery, the world was on the verge of entering a new Gilded Era. This is splendid, as I will be in London during November to celebrate this achievement.

If only for a moment, take your shades off and you will see people of substance drinking from golden chalices, eating beluga, chatting amongst themselves while listening to Bach. The Occupy Wall Street crowd are just mad because they are not “rich as fuck.” Because if they were, as logic dictates, they wouldn’t be smelling up NYC.

All that aside, I was forced to join the club today, buying size in OPEN and RFMD to minimize my idiocy through VXX. For the day, I am up, mostly thanks to PWRD and WNR. However, I could have made so much more money over the past few days had I kept my original positions. I made a choice to avoid the envelop altogether in favor of stability and profitability.

For the year, my gains stand at 15%, just 1% off my all-time highs.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIm8L6oNd2Q 603 500]

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THE WORLD IS MENTALLY ILL

The market is going to explode to the upside again today because, apparently, Europe is fixed. Not only is Europe fixed, but the recession is now off the table. That’s right, everyone has deduced that there is no fear of European insolvency or recession anymore because Belgium nationalized Dexia. Forget about Italy, Spain and THE PIGS. This market is running higher because it’s not 2008.

Because we are NOT in 2008 and find ourselves in 2011, stocks are ceiling-less. John Paulson is on the verge of breaking the fuck out to the upside, as the banks are poised, mind you, to soar the fuck higher, based upon two things.

1. This is not 2008.
2. Belgium nationalized Dexia.

Fuck yeah!

Also, apparently, Apple is worth more with Steve Jobs dead than alive, not so much different than a Mickey Mantle rookie card.

I’m just happy I did not expose myself with my shorts. My late day purchases of RENN and PWRD should ensure that I “go green” yet again today.

As for the bears, guys wandering the Earth looking for despair: you’re gonna lose today. Actually, not only will you lose, your dicks will get chopped off. My apologies to all of the gentlemen and ladies out there for my most abhorrent usage of the English language.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention this unbelievable note of importance and substance: CHINA IS NO LONGER SLOWING. That shit was just rumor mill stuff, fed to the birds, digested, and excreted out onto the windshield of John “creepy as fuck” Chanos.

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THE WNR GROWS (no HOMO)

From the darkest shadows of Wall Street, the WNR grows. It sticks its head out and thrusts forward, as short sellers scurry away for fear of being violated. The WNR acts in defiance of all that is evil and bad, in order to uplift all of those who like it.

The WNR does not shrink in the face of global depression, it rises to the occasion.

In other news, I am awaiting sheer retardation from Alcoa, after le bell. I was up another 0.5% thanks to my, umm, WNR.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lyu1KKwC74 603 500]

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A Pullback is in the Cards

The REITS look weak, as well as some retail names. But for the most part, we are grinding here, teasing the bears with a -15. After a 3% rally, this is exactly what the bulls want: a tepid pullback with runners in highly speculative sectors.

Either way, I’m covered. I allocated some coin into PWRD, but nothing too fancy or elaborate. Fuck you if you believe I am using the wrong words to describe my actions, by the way. I can read your peasant minds and know how you think. I can see you sitting there, at your bullshit PC, wishing you knew what the fuck was going on.

The reality is, you don’t know anything because you are genetically inferior. It’s a hard truth but someone needed to tell you. Thank me later.

I am selling out of my CVI position, but holding WNR. I just banked 26% in CVI, inside of one short week. Don’t fuck with me, else risk losing your limbs.

As God is my witness, I pray the skies open up and strike unmitigated fear into the green hearts of the protesters down on Wall Street, via lightening bolts to their skeletal frames. Get out of my city you filthy animals.

All that aside, at some point, this market will need to pullback, taking its big muddy boot off the necks of lowly life forms like “alf44.” When it happens, I will be there, with cigar in hand, to buy the margin liquidations of all of the unseemly people chasing today.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VS8E14sRDo8 603 500]

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FLY BUY: PWRD

I bought 50,000 PWRD.

I couldn’t help myself. This is my last trade. I swear. I promise.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLXihdrskws 603 500]

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THE RETURN OF THE CHINESE LOTTO GUYS

I just sold out of JKS for a one day 10% profit. Then I started looking through my matrix and it dawned on me: The Chinese Lotto Guys are back. Clandestinely, these fuckers started bidding up Chinese stocks this morning as if this was 2007 again. So, instead of hating on them, I joined them. With my JKS proceeds, I bought RENN.

On paper, RENN is a ridiculous value, with over $3 in net cash. However, who really knows what takes place in China? For all I know, RENN is the name of someone’s dog and the companies only specialty is accounting fraud. For the Chinese, accounting fraud is a new form of warfare, think Sun Tzu only gayer.

This morning I sold out of a fairly large position, TCK. I still hold large amounts of WNR, GSVC and CVI to offset the fuckers in VXX. At the moment, with over 50% in cash, I do not have my balls on the line. But that will change, eventually, when my market presents itself.

I must admit, these Chinese burritos are up my alley. Right now there are BIG gains to be be found in WH, CNTF, BSPM, JRJC, DANG, CEA etc. Truly the lowest of the low are running today, always a sign of pending catastrophe, so be careful.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVt-DZdkOzw&ob=av3e 603 500]

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LOL @ Slovakia

Get the fuck out of here with this “Slovakian drama.” I don’t give a shit about the Slovakian vote, regarding the ESFS. I am a seller here, in order to expose my VXX/TZA and EXH short to the market. I made back my coin and feel blessed to be in a position to get flat into strength. Most of my colleagues are going out of business because they are idiots. I’d call them idiots, while they walk around NYC with crooked sunglasses, only if I thought they’d understand what I meant. Instead, I ignore them.

Do not wait for your bullshit accounts to “get whole.” Your cost basis is meaningless, dip shit. You are better off taking your money and using it as toilet paper, than waiting for the market to understand your plight. I know many of you are sitting on horrendous losses, despite claims of grande extravagance. Do yourself a favor and take it slow. Easy does it. Hit a few singles, then go for a double. The quickest way to dig a hole that can only be fitted for your financial burial is to try to hit homeruns when down big. You’re not thinking clearly, so do less.

UPDATE: I sold out of TCK

[YOUTUBE:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYYW_WwYHuM&ob=av3e 603 500]

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Rejoice in the Grandeur that is Wall Street

Oh there were lots of head fakes over the past two weeks. The market is up over 1,000 points in a week, yet bulls are tripping over themselves to get long and strong into the bell. At the risk of offending some of your fairer sensibilities, dare I say, this market is equal to speed chopping carrots with genitals firmly placed on the kitchen counter.

Once again, your servant, Le Fly, humbly apologizes for using such profane verbiage while discussing the inner dealings of Wall Street.

Aside from disparaging the internet with my X-rated prose, I am zipping (fast) through outerspace, and shit, dropping anvils on fuckers from the mid-west. More than 90% of you fuckers were bearish as hell, just two weeks ago. Now you’re bankrupt. See how that works?

Let’s examine my hand.

Long TZA: very bad.
Long and sold JVA: win.
Long WNR: great
Long TCK: fantastic
Long GSVC: splendid
Long CVI: outrageous
Short EXH: not bad
Long VXX: horrendous

As you can see, net, net, I had a good day, thanks to my longs outstripping my shorts. But my real strength lies in my cash position. I am a seller into momentum, a buyer of blood. Due to recent history, I will be selling into the fanaticism, in order to buy back at lower prices.

With gains more than 14%, stepping into the 4th quarter dressed to kill, I am in no rush to bail out the likes of John Paulson and other underwater fucktards, via chasing momentum.

Once again, “The Fly” humbly apologizes for the motherfucking video he is about to play. If this should upset your Grandparents, tell them “The Fly” said to watch 60 minutes instead and to fuck off.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5spMjy8uhc 603 500]

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