I Gave it My Best

The market will never rally again.

Today was the day when we had to rally. It was do or die and now we are going to die.  For the love of killer infectious diseases in Africa, EUROPE WAS UP TODAY and we managed our end of the bargain like homo-hammered Greeks.

This is extremely distressing. You have no idea.

Throughout the day I conducted myself with dignity, repositioning away from old goat fucker to young gun slinger. But that didn’t matter and neither does PCLN and CSCO.

We are positively doomed. There is no hope and there is no tomorrow.

Enjoy your funerals.

NOTE: I made 0.3% today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RamFlOFdb6g&feature=related

Europe reversed hard off the lows, some indices closed green. The fact that we are not green yet is disappointing. But the ground is set, whether you like it or not, for a mind-blowing rally into the sleepy afternoon hours.

If the anti-bailout fuckers from Greece can’t form a government, logic dictates it’s business as usual, with German hands up the asses of those lazy mutton fuckers.

My cash position is 20%, thanks to sales. But I upped my risk profile through the purchases of WNR, EXK, AG and MTW.

Don’t hate on me, fucker. I’m just going for the jugular, trying to win big, as it is my right and custom to do so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0_zC0nJnrc

I tossed Grandpa to the side, kicking his dumbass down a flight of subway stairs. I kicked out of 75% of my old man stocks to bulk-the-fuck-up on EXK, AG, WNR and MTW.

That’s right, I’m buying fucking cranes in China, via MTW.

The truth is, I have a death wish. I laugh at insolvency, while feverishly drinking excessive amounts of ambrosia, swallowing lamb shanks save the fucking mint jelly. See, I’m in this car made from dynamite sticks and it’s getting hot in the cabin. I’m gonna drive this bitch until the wheels fall off, throwing bowling balls at you pikers on Wall.

Go make some cold calls. “The Fly” will be in his time machine, changing the future to better comport with his position.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQuMjjKaKhY

Stocks have gotten cheap enough for me to justify selling out of some grandpa stocks to buy some miners.

I sold out of 75% of KMB, LNCE, ABV, PEP, WM, GIS and bought size in EXK and AG.

My cash position is 25%.

UPDATE: added to WNR

UPDATE II: bought MTW

Isn’t this fantastic? Think about how lucky we all are, as investors, to relish in the same exact crisis for 3 consecutive years. How singular and wonderful it is, truly!

Greece gets bailed out; but they don’t. The Spaniards are next; but they’re doing okay. And, the Italians are in crisis mode; but they have turned the ship around and are doing just fine. I challenge you to try to make sense out of all this, then invest your life savings on that thesis.

Pardon the cliche, but this is the gift that keeps giving. No wonder retail wants no part of this market. It is a lose-lose situation for the unwashed pleb, the man-dog with a brain the size of a cashew. Nevertheless, I am mandated by my ingrate clients to figure it all out: with a snap of their cigar stained fingers, I am ordered to figure out the puzzle.

Remember when I said (last night) there was no contagion? Well that has changed over night, as sovereign yields for the shittiest countries in Europe are soaring this morning. Apparently, the euro is going to $00.00, taking oil, silver, gold and California with it. The incredibly morose part about this whole process of investor elimination is this “crisis” we are enduring now will be nothing more than a bookmark in 3 months. The central bankers will find another solution and the markets will blast higher, doubly fucking the people who sold due to fears of financial collapse.

Well, it looks like The PPT will likely flag its first OVERSOLD signal since late 2011 today. With that, based upon our correlation tools, I can tell you silver and gold miners are likely going to be the best investments coming out of the pit. That sector has been lit aflame, by men clad in pink pants made from velcro.

Barbarism on a medieval scale has befallen the Ron Paul crowd.

Nonetheless, if the markets ever go up again it will be because of a cheap money solution, which is inherently inflationary– always good for precious metals. Both EXK and AG are of great interest to me as we delve into the lower tranches of this fucking tape.

NOTE: The dicksuckers over at GMCR were right! Weather trends dictated hot versus cold beverage consumption. SODA smashed numbers and the stock is up $5.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofoIMg76Sng

Okay, I’ve had time to absorb the information and sequester my emotions from what we are looking at here.

The last time The PPT flagged Oversold was 12/8/11 when the SPY was at $122. We are significantly above that level, despite the carnage, regardless of how poorly AAPL has been trading. As of the close of trade today, we are not oversold. Normally, I do not give away that information for free, since it is a membership service. However, we are living in interesting times and wanted to give you a full view of what the market can be setting up to do.

Starting with tomorrow’s sell off, I am giving the market 7-10 days for a full rebound. Unlike past euro events, this one will not drag on forever. I believe swift action will be taken. You are not the only one with something to lose here. Think about the bankster exposure to sovereign debt.

Thus far, contagion is not a topic, as Italian and Spanish yields are muted. But that doesn’t mean it can’t happen tomorrow.

You should not be leveraged long like me. I tend to make bold moves at odd times, often a little too early or late for my own good. When it’s all said and done, I’ll get it done, but not without expense. If I had a life expectancy (Le Fly is immortal), I’d be dead by now, resting in a pineapple coffin, from all of the HORSESHIT I put myself through. The market is a living organism, subject to the elements of man, contaminated by his stupidity. If you are bulking up on basic materials or high beta earnings plays, you are gambling and would be better off fighting sharks with chum wrapped around your fucking face.

Nothing is working but big dividend, big market cap, grandpa stocks. If you look at my 110% long position, you will find it to be deceptively conservative, with 50% of it yielding almost 3%, up 1% over the past 2 weeks. In other words, the grandpa stocks are a form of cash for me, until my risk appetite increases.

As of now, I am heavy on talking shit; but my actions are far more subdued. Don’t GMCR yourself out of the game and remember to live to fight another day. Once you are out, you’re fucking out. I can’t tell you how many times I missed out on huge gains because I didn’t manage my risk profile properly. When the market is back into beat-down-a-bear-to-the-skelton mode, you will know it– and have plenty of time to get in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQt0BQQ5jyQ

Once again, all of you fuckers who were calling for a market crash this morning were wrong. You’re like a living fable, specific to the boy who cried wolf. The market fell 75 points and no one gives a shit about Greece anymore.

Here is what is going to happen:

The fucktards who just got elected will find religion and tow the line. If not, they will be kicked out of the EU and Spain and Italy will enjoy strong ring fencing to support their borrowing costs via the ECB. If you insist on betting on disaster, I will adamantly bet against you. It’s true, the market has been tough; but let’s not listen to men dressed like cows, declaring all is lost.  There is nothing extraordinary about the market action. As a point in fact, it is behaving as it should, more than ever.

Companies with bad earnings are being deflated, while winners keep wining. Old man stocks are regarded as safe havens and small cappers are volatile.

Gold and silver are horrible and TLT is on the cusp of $120 again. It is clear to me, the threat to the system is not Zimbabwe style inflation, but the specter of the economy falling into a deflationary vortex. Because of that, you can bank on the Fed providing a bid for this market. Now if you are in the camp who believes such a bid will only present itself AFTER a calamitous market decline, maybe down to 10,000 Dow, I believe you do not know the Bearded Clam very well.

He’s gonna get you bitches, starting with tomorrows trade.

NOTE: I am 110% long.

I added to both positions.

As you know, there are two sides to “The Fly”, as presently represented by his portfolio. On one side is the social networking ‘risk demon’, who feeds off the scalps of bears and enjoys to kick elderly men down subways staircases. On the other hand, 50% of his portfolio is wrapped up in “Grandpa stocks,” the sort of portfolio that makes you doze off in front of the television while watching The Price is Right.

Today’s market calamity is a Tale of Two portfolios for me. There is AAPL, YELP, WNR, CPST, ANR, VCLK and NXPI in one corner, getting their fucking dicks chopped off. And then there is GIS, KMB, LNCE, WM, PEP–totally not giving a shit about Greek communism or euro collapse.

It was outlined earlier this month, based upon the tips given from urinal shadows and seasonality trends provided by the engine that could, inside of The PPT: grandpa stocks tend to outperform in the month of May.

It is in my nature to take on risk. That’s what I do, for good and for worse. However, I am eternally grateful that I decided against my worser judgement and put half of my assets in those stocks. While I am still losing money, it could be much worse.

Where do we go from here?

I believe you start nibbling today. Spanish and Italian yields are going down, not up, leading me to believe the market is accepting the prospect that Greece will leave the euro. Once they do that, both Italy and Spain will be protected by a euorbond, leaving Greece to fuck themselves and create more ruins, sending the markets to new highs.

That’s my 2 cents.

NOTE: I sold out of P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPhroQLzI1o

The gent in Greece, the guy who was just elected and in charge of forming a government, is talking shit about the terms of the bailout and how he is more interested in paying for the vacations of Greek union workers, fucking Germans in the process, than adhering to austere living standards. However, it should be duly noted, the Greeks have elected several neo-nazis, in solidarity with their non-vacationing German counterparts.

The Original Buttfuckers are a ruinous bunch. They should have never been permitted to enter the league of civilized nations and would be better off under the auxiliary command of Turkey. Having said that, the problem in Europe isn’t going away, no matter how much I wish it would. On the eyes of Italians, nothing can redress my dark feelings towards every single European living in the countries that represent letters in the PIGS acronym.

Clearly, peace hasn’t worked; give war a chance.

If these bumbling morons would attack one another, like in the “good old days,” I am sure we wouldn’t have to worry about German austerity versus French spending.

As an investor, the process of having to endure the European Union is absurd. It rattles me to my core. It keeps me up at night, plotting against whole continents, configuring space orbital cannons to vaporize entire towns within minutes.

ATTENTION BEARS: I’ve not lost faith in America’s ability to teach the Europeans what they need to learn. We have endless resources of black op teams, who can murder these uncooperative forces inside of these barbaric countries, whenever needed. As an American, I take pride in the fact that when we don’t like other governments, we topple them. Our good friends, “The Banksters,” do not like their stock prices going lower and neither do I.

Cheers.