18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
When fireworks were legal in NYC, I used to shoot bottle rockets at my friends. We’d toss around “block busters” like rocks, blowing fingers off and shit. Ah, the good ole days. Now that I’m an old fucker, I spend my BEER and BBQ day near the grill, chugging down bottles of “Rogue”: (see my instagram or Twitter for details), whilst eating larger than fuck quantities of BBQ chicken (only BEAS BBQ sauce) with healthy servings of potato salad and white trash baked beans.
After I am finished eating, I will watch some Twilight Zone, then fixate on the markets, as it is my duty and right to do so.
Accept these ebullient days as small tokens from the Gods. Often times, the market is an unforgiving bitch. But it’s days like this that make it entirely worthwhile and keep brainiacs like me in this racket. Sure, I could quit today and start my very own late night television show; but I’d rather sit in my office and talk shit to total strangers, threatening them with mortal combat and things of that nature.
“The Fly” doesn’t sell out and he never buckles under pressure.
Having said that, I would not blame any of you if you sold a few shares and took the summer off to enjoy life. The market will be here in the fall, ready to decapitate unsuspecting travelers amidst grave news of Obamanomics, round two. Despite the many pressures to sell and unwind, I’ve opted for the “black flag” approach to trading, whereby I only relent punching my enemy in the face when his life has capitulated from existing in this realm.
My cash position is just north of 25% and I live for short squeezes. Literally, I live to apply pressure to people who make it a priority to bet against stocks. I don’t know why, frankly. Perhaps I was genetically altered in the womb to seek out and destroy stock market plungers. Either way, I am quite pleased to see my accounts at new all time highs.
I just sold out of ZNGA because I have no room for losers. I am in CMI, big, for the $100 roll and own an insanely large position in YELP. It happens to be my largest position ever, thanks to the recent surge. Any sane man would opt to reduce the position, for the sake of risk management. I, on the other hand, do not consider myself to be sane and therefore am excluded from such particulars.
As an aside, does anyone else find it absurdly humorous that David Einhorn enjoys to play in the WSOP tournament, fleecing millions from unsuspecting and desperate gamblers? It’s really unfair to have a billionaire star in money management delving into degenerate poker tournaments.
Lastly, there are droughts all over the country, fucking farmers where the sun doesn’t shine. Based upon the laws of nature, expect that to translate into higher food commodity prices, buoying the shares of ag stocks like MOS, POT, LNN and VMI. Although I do not own a position in LNN or VMI, I love the fact that they specialize in irrigation systems. Something tells me those asshat farmers are going to be interested in such systems, as the earth dries up beneath their boots and dust bowls develop and swallow their homes with dirt.
Imagine you were short YELP from $15, with a thesis that the company was “garbage” and a scam. Now fancy your brokerage account set firmly at $00.00 because you bet against “The Fly”. That’s your future, not some fantasy that plays out inside of your small brain where you come out the winner. I know how this story ends because I’ve been to the future and I already won: you just don’t know it yet.
Quit talking shit. “The Fly” is the big bowling ball, screaming down the alley and you’re just pins, in the way, destined to the knocked down.
Do you want to know what’s next? Upon the eve of America’s birthday, short sellers stand to endure the pangs of the squeeze. They are destined to be wiped out, finality. The John Silb’s of the world never had a chance.
I like all stocks with short positions greater than 15% of its float with strong technicals. That’s YELP, RBCN, VHC etc. It’s called a “short squeeze”, boy, get used to it.
I bought RBCN today because the market is applying pain to the shorts. When that happens, they tend to get rattled out of their favorite positions, until the buying frenzy dissipates. Their favorite positions are easily found by screening for stocks with large percentage of shares sold short, compared to the overall float. When markets run higher, natural buyers bid up stocks, causing them to go higher (duh). But stocks that are heavily shorted tend to get a double boost, due to the combination of short sellers buying to close out positions and of course the effects natural buyers have on the supply versus demand relation.
I ran three screens for you in The PPT this evening.
Biggest short squeeze winners over the past month.
Biggest losers, with large short positions, over the past month.
Then I took the biggest losers screen and modified it to search for stocks that are strong, technically, and saw an increase of 5% or more in its daily “Hybrid Score” (the Hybrid score is PPT’s proprietary rating system which ranks stocks based on technical and fundamental factors).
This is just one of the hundreds of ways I use the software.
A great man once said “the most valuable commodity I know of is time.” Don’t waste it.
Just like the white man “removed” the Cherokee from their lands, bears are being removed from their money. The great collapse of 2012 has been canceled and stocks are back to ripping heads off again– kicking said heads down idle sewer pipes into cesspools.
I stand before you a victorious man, someone who should be lauded and praised before billions. You should speak of my fortunes to your children, or grandchildren, when they are in bed, preparing for sleep, accompanied by warm glasses of milk or buttercream. It is impossible, in all expressions of the word, to stop me. The stock Gods favour me because I am blessed with a gift of energy equal to 10,000 Hiroshimas.
I want you to shut your fucking faces now and look at the screen. Once I have your undivided attention, I want you to click on a link that I am going to provide for you, FREE OF CHARGE, just under this sentence.
Now I want you to leave this site and do not come back again, unless you are prepared to Bend the Knee and pay homage to superior beings, such as myself.
NOTE: Big props to my good friends,”The Devil” and “Chuck Bennett”, for nailing VHC inside of The PPT. Your winship has been duly noted and archived for future generations to enjoy.
“The Fly” is back to drinking cans upon cans upon cans of Red Bull zero again. I’m so fucking wired right now, I am eating the fucking cans to calm my nerves down.
The truth is, I am in the process of moving and it sucks 10 dicks. While we’re on the subject of truth, I will have you know my stocks are higher today– yes, indeud, they are!
US economic data was abysmal, which is great in the little fantasy world we live in. Let me give you a quick refresher: bad news is good news and good news is good news. However, great news is bad news.
Got it?
This psychopath market couldn’t care less if US unemployment was 99%, providing the Fed was ready to step in with POMO. I’m all about that shit: pomo all day, every day.
In short, I’m not buying today, opting to preserve my grandiose cash position, because there is no sense of urgency. I am not sure if the ECB will lower rates this week, and frankly, it doesn’t really matter. If you recall, I told you there was one monster trade left and I’d sell into it. Well, the monster trade came and went and I nailed it. My losses were erased and now I’m +19% for the year, right at annual an all-time highs. Le Fly won again, bitch; I’m about to lounge for the remainder of the summer.
Futures are higher because it’s bright. Markets are going higher because they’ve been mandated to do so. Obamacare is good for you because someday down the road you’re gonna get cancer and die from it.
This whole firestorm of shit over Obamacare makes me sick to my stomach. Since when do we give a shit about “democracy” and freedom? Last I checked, fucked-faces, we’ve been depleting our treasury to the tune of, oh I don’t know, 10 FUCKING TRILLION DOLLARS OVER THE PAST 10 YEARS, fighting a fictitious war on terror. Hell, we’ve killed more than a million and maimed countless others, all the while stripping fat-faced Americans of basic right and freedoms, under the directive of Homeland Security: and you’re pissed off because some schlub from 0hio is going to receive free medicine? Boo-hoo, how “un-capitalistic” of us. Hang on a second, let me go ask The Bearded Clam to print us up another trilly to cover the expenses.
Paint me cynical for a second, but frankly, I don’t give a shit. I pay $1,300 per month for insurance and those fuckhead doctors have had it good, real good, for too long. It’s time for those fuckers to face the Black Flag and fall under union command, where other fucked-faces will order them to stick thumbs up people’s asses for $10 a pop.
Colour me cynical, yet again, but I don’t see how this changes my lifestyle. “The Fly” is all about that, and from my vantage point, medicine is for the dogs and homeless old fuckers who need new hearts. Do you think I care if medicine goes up by 20% or even 200%? I DON’T GIVE A SHIT.
On the other hand, I will be voting for Glove-Mitt Romney because I think he’s cool, in a private equity sort of way. He will send the rest of America’s jobs yonder; but corporate profits will be robust and the markets will suck his dick for it (no homo).
