KNUCKLEBALL

Have you ever tried to hit a knuckleball? It looks so easy, until you swing at it and the bottom falls out, leaving you flailing at it like a fucking retarded ape. The market is showing you TLT, then punching you in the face for buying stocks. Does that make any sense?

Of course not.

The homebuilders saw an early spike off encouraging data–then it was sold to you.

I hate to say it, but the market isn’t exactly accommodative right now and conditions may get worse. Don’t get me wrong. I go to work with a full chest, absolutely confident that the Federal Reserve has escutcheoned the market against the free market evils that lurk around the corner. We all want to eat cake and steak, yet still maintain a perfect body fat ratio.

The truth is a little more severe than you might have imagined.  If you sit down with a pad and pencil, have a good smoke from your trusted pipe, and do the math: you will not like what you see. Some think the market is living on borrowed time. I think the economy is already dead and the market is living the zombie lifestyle–eating the faces of those who bet against it.

Have a sense of humor about these things, otherwise the troubles of the world will make you miserable.

In the meantime, there is money to be made. I have to anticipate the markets next move. My gut says I should be selling into August strength and prepare for a “september slide.”

Until then, my top picks are EXK, MRVL, VHC, DECK and CTRP.

NOTE: In case you lost sleep over it, YES, I did fix my iPAD.

In this scene, an iBC spokesmen lets the watcher know that iBC never tires from “killing and slaying.” Moreover, it’s important to understand the past, as it is the ultimate fortune cookie, with regards to divine prophecy. Ergo, The PPT wins again.

VIZ.

The markets are behaving much worse than the indices let on. There is a slew of carnage out there today, matching the horseshit we saw yesterday. If it wasn’t for my catalyst driven positions, I’d sell into this weakness and find a hedge.

I started off the day with a big win in EL, with most of my positions standing firm. I couldn’t find a stock to buy, after the sale of EL, and now I know why. We are heading the fuck lower.

I made a big mistake yesterday by not selling out of CTRP when it was +1. Now look at it: typical chinese burrito garbagio.

My largest position is EXK and I can’t see myself selling it with a 7 handle. After that, I own MRVL, VHC, CTRP, DECK and TEA–all cheap enough to keep me interested into a sell off.

The truth is, sometimes enduring losses is part of the game, a process in which amateurs loathe because they don’t like to lose. I am not a long term investor, by any stretch. However, I like to give my stocks breathing room to trade, without me harping on every tick. The result is going through draw-downs when the market is weak–so fucking be it.

I don’t short sell anymore because the game is rigged. I much rather wait for stocks to come down, then buy the blood.

Into the bell, I am 25% cash, the rest invested in about 12 stocks; but I am a seller into strength with a very strong desire to be on the sidelines going into September.

I’ve been reaching out to my sources and searching my screens, far and wide, inside of The PPT. I cannot find a single stock worth buying. I am 25% cash (I sold my EL position) and eager to invest money. At the top of my list is MRVL and VHC. However, they’re both risky plays and I own enough. I cannot justify buying more of them when my cost basis is below the current trading price.

With the EL numbers, I am leaning towards a small position in SBH, especially since Mrs. Fly thinks it’s “heading to awesomeville.” She’s never wrong on her retail trend trades.

Other than that, I am in hold mode, waiting for something to happen. The great part about this business is something always comes up. There will be an event that will open the doors to opportunity. Sometimes the best trade is doing nothing, which is exactly what I intend on doing today.

Take your rip and run. If you accept the fact that everything you see and hear is horseshit, you will never be disappointed. When your stocks go up, sell them. If they misbehave and go lower, sell them. There are very few reasons to hold them long term, since that method of investing has been proven to be ridiculous over and over again.

Sometimes I get caught up in the idea that “the next MSFT” is right around the corner–just like Grandpa Fly used to believe he was going to win the lottery.

Having said that, I am going to sell my entire EL position today, despite their phenomenal earnings report. I will take my win, mind you, and carry on (no VIZ).

EL represented 12% of assets, which will be parked in cash until I find a suitable replacement.

In the future, when people google the words “Groupon” or “Zynga”, to learn about what these companies were all about, I want this post to be the number 1 result.

Why do I want this?

I do not desire #1 page rank for selfish reasons–quite the opposite, actually. I want the people to know that both ZNGA and GRPN sucked dick, frauds sent to us by the criminals at Margin Stanley, and did so without dignified decorum.

Since the days of the dot bomb, I’ve never seen such carnage take place in “buzz word” stocks that were thrusted upon the retail investor–like today’s social media catastrophe.

Both ZNGA and GRPN are down a good 70% for the year, much more than that from the annual highs. This is not happenstance or accident, but by design! I dare say, the insiders and bankers alike knew the businesses were on the verge of slowing. The greedy vulture capitalists clamored for an exit. Instead of having the companies issue shares at reasonable valuations, knowing they were in the 9th inning of growth, all parties stole from the market, selling at the very top.

Some might say it is not the responsibility of the vulture capitalist or investment banker to offer a “fair price” to the unsuspecting retail investor. To them I say, when will integrity mean anything to you? Maybe now or tomorrow? How about ever?

The reason why most Americans would prefer to gouge out the eyes of their local banker, instead of shaking his hand, is because of shit like ZNGA, GRPN and most certainly FB.

In closing, CEO’s and employees of Groupon and Zynga: you suck dick and will continue to suck dick until your fat, bloated, pigshit companies wash away in the sands of time.

I made a good sum of money today, more than your annual salary. I realize this is hard for you to comprehend, trolling iBC from the discomfort of a housing tenement; but I truly do have a space rocket. When you are fast asleep in your bath tubs, trying to dodge errant bullets from entering your skulls at night, I am abducting zeroes from 0hio, in my capsule– thrusting them into the Van Allen belt.

I hope you do realize and understand, man has never stepped foot on the surface of the moon.

Today, I enjoyed a nice jump in both shares of CTRP and DECK. Everything else is coiled back, waiting for the right time to spring forward. It’s not necessary to shuffle the deck daily, only to make sure said deck is thoroughly polished and presentable to be inhabited by gentlemen, such as myself.

NOTE: In case you’re tuning in late, ChessnWine launched his Weekly Strategy Session, reserved only for people of the highest cloth.

You shouldn’t worry yourself about the stock exchange and the prices affixed to the companies that are publicly traded in it. We are not permitted to trade lower. While there are children in charge of economy, enjoy the candy distributed, the uncommon blend of socialism masquerading as capitalism for the explicit purposes to see equity prices higher. After all, aside from AAPL and GOOG, what does America have anyway?

Correct! We have financial markets that are liquid and robust. They are our best export.

I am tempted to sell my CTRP position. However, the FMCN going private news is keeping me in. These chinese companies are very cheap according to their balance sheets. The billion dollar question is: can you trust a chinese balance sheet?

I didn’t buy any MRVL today, despite the decline. Earnings come out on Thursday and I want to make sure my final prints are worthwhile, otherwise I will be satisfied with what I have already.

Finally, DECK, VHC and TEA are on the move higher, allowing my person to expand assets under management, through appreciation, by 0.3% today.

I look forward to winning a great deal of money in the not-so-distant future and I encourage you to try to stop me.

BEHOLD: THE NEW iBANKCOIN MOVIE, produced by Le Fly, directed by Ragin Cajun.

I’ve been busy all morning trying to fix my iPad. If I do not fix this problem, I will not be able to continue working, at all. Common knowledge dictates my time is worth multiples of what the iPad is worth. Therefore, I should just buy a new one and smash this fucking bastard into pieces. However, it’s a puzzle and I would not be able to live with myself if the puzzle were to be destroyed before I conquered it.

As I was lamenting over my iPad, my fucking stocks went the fuck lower. I know Greece’s GDP was horrific. But other than that, I see no reason for the sharp decline–other than the fact that Glove Mitt’s vice presidential pick is leader of the fucking Tea Party, keenly fixed on cutting government spending until it hurts.

HOWEVER, I love the Paul Ryan pick–pleasantly surprised by Romney’s boldness for picking him. Longer term, we need someone like Ryan to get this country back on track. In the short term, if elected, this market will fucking hate him.

But you have to accept the bad with the good and vice versa. Plus anyway, these bastard clown politicians aren’t in charge of anything. They’re just spokesmen for the true power, the oligarchs at the top of the corporate ladder.

Moving on, FMCN is trying to go private. This has been a big theme over the past year: chinese burritos wanting to go private, most likely to avoid getting their arms cut off in China for committing accounting fraud. I’ve heard rumors about CGA wanting to go private for months; but I sold the fucker because it traded like horseshit.

In short, I’m not panicking over a small little baby infant decline and neither should you.

Man up.

Fellow iBC blogger and partner of iBankCoin has launched a new service, The Weekly Strategy Session, which aims to guide you into the trading week ahead. Chess has been providing this service inside of healthy confines of 12631 for some time now and I find it extraordinarily useful and comprehensive, even for a space alien magician (SAM)–such as myself.

This is the only stand alone service of iBankCoin, meaning it is open to you, the people–the unwashed masses trying to grab acorns for the cold,  long winter ahead.

On the eyes of Jupiter, I implore you to sign up and help finance the good folks over at iBankCoin finish and launch the development of our Space Orbital Cannon (OSC), to be used for the most aggressively egregious offensive maneuvers possible.

DO IT!

NOTE: For week 1, this will be an email service only. Vincenzo Illuminati (world famous) will see to it to develop an authenticated web page sometime this week. Also, you have the luxurious option of buying just one report, as opposed to subscribing for an extended period of time, which is a gift of sorts to the home gamers out there who are living that miser lifestyle.

Pleb on.