In the future, when people google the words “Groupon” or “Zynga”, to learn about what these companies were all about, I want this post to be the number 1 result.
Why do I want this?
I do not desire #1 page rank for selfish reasons–quite the opposite, actually. I want the people to know that both ZNGA and GRPN sucked dick, frauds sent to us by the criminals at Margin Stanley, and did so without dignified decorum.
Since the days of the dot bomb, I’ve never seen such carnage take place in “buzz word” stocks that were thrusted upon the retail investor–like today’s social media catastrophe.
Both ZNGA and GRPN are down a good 70% for the year, much more than that from the annual highs. This is not happenstance or accident, but by design! I dare say, the insiders and bankers alike knew the businesses were on the verge of slowing. The greedy vulture capitalists clamored for an exit. Instead of having the companies issue shares at reasonable valuations, knowing they were in the 9th inning of growth, all parties stole from the market, selling at the very top.
Some might say it is not the responsibility of the vulture capitalist or investment banker to offer a “fair price” to the unsuspecting retail investor. To them I say, when will integrity mean anything to you? Maybe now or tomorrow? How about ever?
The reason why most Americans would prefer to gouge out the eyes of their local banker, instead of shaking his hand, is because of shit like ZNGA, GRPN and most certainly FB.
In closing, CEO’s and employees of Groupon and Zynga: you suck dick and will continue to suck dick until your fat, bloated, pigshit companies wash away in the sands of time.
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Groupon is a total and complete scam, along with Angie’s list. Zynga has, at least, a theoretically legitimate business model, however is helmed by a group of outright criminals and miscreants. One can only hope they get their just desserts and are charged with insider trading…
Good sir, why do you classify Angie’s List with this sorry lot? AL seems like a decent business, but I am unaware (perhaps ignorantly) of any shenanigans on part of the principals (raising my head and adjusting my monocle)…
ANGI is the future model for social media: PAID CONTENT.
First hand experience with ANGI: the only reason they got repeat business from me is because they set up my account to auto-charge my credit card.
Sorta kinda almost similar to iBankCoin. But not the same?
Possibly, but ANGI has set a world record 17 consecutive years without earnings a fucking dime. I suspect (with reason) they will never actually turn a profit.
One problem is that the content behind the paywall is submitted by volunteers. This would be fine if the content were worth the $10/mo. I’ve written two lengthy and what I think are quality reviews, but most of the reviews are garbage and many companies that do quite a bit of work are sparsely reviewed (in metropolitan area of 400,000+ – Huntsville, AL). I signed up and asked for a refund.
Ultra — what if the principals there no the model is never to be profitable, and yet they IPO and cash out along the way? How would you feel about that?
With regards to ZNGA, I don’t think depreciating virtual farm tractors off your balance sheet and other nefarious accounting tricks can be construed as a legitimate business model.
BWTFDIK?
Is zynga a viable business model hug?
(Zynga being so tied and inseperable from facebook.)
In my mind it’s kind of like a bottling business whose machinery can only bottle coke. The machines can’t bottle pepsi, budweiser, or even lemonade.
And they certainly can’t produce their own recipe and manufacture their own drink.
LOL, ur going to catch hell trying to get inbound links to help the cause with that headline, but funny as hell 🙂
#timestamped today, Señor Tropicana
I’m working on the next one, courtesy of a tip by Gappy.
sometimes, you just gotta spit some lines;
I really hate to say it,
but it happened.
I really hate to see you ,
stop laughin’
I really hate to break it,
you’re lackin
Actin’ like you’re all about the passion,
while we disciplined our actions.
Risin’ above the masses.
Watchin’ your decline into ashes.
I really hate to say it but,
I said so.
I really hate to see you, ya, don’t go,
Past any signs that say,
Collect dough.
I really hate to say it,
but you lost hard
While targeting with hate,
Our love bard, livin’ for today under
luck hard.
I really hate to say it but you failed, ‘tard.
Homo?
and sometimes, the rhymes won’t leave ya be!
I cannot forgive financiers of depravity,
Infiltratrating my privacy, selling it to the 3rd degree,
Spreading lies and hypocrisy,
Promoting mediocrity,
Invading MY privacy??
Got nothing for ’em but apathy,
maybe a glass of empathy,
Who do they think are we?
You think you sing to me?
I’ll set you free, you’ll see.
I cannot forgive the purveyors of treachery,
Marching lock step to the beat-less dream.
Lying and stealing for bling,
taking only a swing at me,
Giving weak and self-serving greed,
Instead of harvesting gold treasuries,
From inside of WE, the true and free,
Majority, bereaved from a life of glee, hating the cursed teevee,
I cannot forgive base treachery,
It infects the soul, you see,
Making us feel lonely,
I cannot forgive the sea,
Of demand supply-side wants and needs,
Seducing the innocent,
into lives of grief,
All the things, no human needs.
I cannot forgive, you see,
The powers that Cannot Be,
I cannot forgive this breed,
as it goes down in history,
A shameful pageantry,
Reduced to crawling on their knees,
But still I cannot forgive,
These.
Thanks pal but umm I think you are in the site for this diatribe? Try die hipster.com
what you gonna do?
Excellent post Mr Fly
It’s a Hard Rain That’s Gonna Fall..
Now Fly embrace vix tits that bastard ,syphilis whelp that denied you so many times before. I cashed all my longs in today save for STX and my drug stocks some reits All Aboard! ( you know it’s over Fly.)
It’s never over
do they have a special for sucking dick or they have a sucking dick social game?
I want a groupon!!
10 dicks, no less.
“37 dicks”
“In a row?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpQqH4H_SUQ
Speaking of Angie’s List….I’ve been thinking of starting Heaterman’s List. It will be a list of customers whom contractors of all types should avoid like the Black Death itself. Dealing with one right now made me think of it.
+10
I wonder if Google Bombing still works?
I just saw the movie “Margin call” last night on DISH………….. It’s basically Fly’s post as a movie (starring Stanley Tucci and Kevin Spacey). There are no hero’s in this movie, only “happy foxes and sad sacks”…….. A quote from the movie:
“John Tuld: So you think we might have put a few people out of business today. That its all for naught. You’ve been doing that everyday for almost forty years Sam. And if this is all for naught then so is everything out there. Its just money; its made up. Pieces of paper with pictures on it so we don’t have to kill each other just to get something to eat. It’s not wrong. And it’s certainly no different today than its ever been. 1637, 1797, 1819, 37, 57, 84, 1901, 07, 29, 1937, 1974, 1987-Jesus, didn’t that fuck up me up good-92, 97, 2000 and whatever we want to call this. It’s all just the same thing over and over; we can’t help ourselves. And you and I can’t control it, or stop it, or even slow it. Or even ever-so-slightly alter it. We just react. And we make a lot money if we get it right. And we get left by the side of the side of the road if we get it wrong. And there have always been and there always will be the same percentage of winners and losers. Happy foxes and sad sacks. Fat cats and starving dogs in this world. Yeah, there may be more of us today than there’s ever been. But the percentages-they stay exactly the same.”
As John Tuld states in the movie: “There are three ways to make a living in this business. Be first, be smarter, or cheat.”
Saw it on Nflx. Fucking honest film. Anyone wanna join me in a tent in the park?
That movie sucked as much dick as GRPN and ZNGA. The trailers were cool as fuck, but the final product was complete horseshit.
I thought Margin Call was awesome.. Watched late night after kids went to bed last year and enjoyed it tremendously.. Highly recommend if you have not already seen.
“Some might say it is not the responsibility of the vulture capitalist or investment banker to offer a “fair price” to the unsuspecting retail investor. To them I say, when will integrity mean anything to you?”
Comedic.
What retail investor?
Aside from REITs and some MLP’s, every new issue is 100% institutional.
And if THOSE whores hold a stock more than ten minutes, it’s a long time.
______________
I guess you have been busy. The FB ipo had record retail participation, upwards of 30%.
I wonder if you are familiar with the extent of these atrocities. I work research at one of the hallowed institutions you speak of (no Goldman) and recently had to vet one of these manufactured failures. The insiders are as bad as anyone in the syndicate. I detest vetting merely for being forced into communicating with these sophists – I doubt most would believe the shit I’ve heard.
Moving on, you hit the nail on the head, fly – keep up the good work.
Cheers!
John
Channel your anger through me. Email me your stories and I will protect your anonymity.
flybroker at gmail
Naturally, you will understand my reservations. I assume you possess a 7/63 (?) and thus are familiar with the cartel, FINRA and understand what sort of trust I would be embodying in you. Take no offense as it is not a personal slight – I will give it due consideration in the coming days as earnings come to a close for me. Anything further I will email you about but I wanted to let you know not to be offended by a delayed response.
As a side note: have you considered rewarding bloggers for cross promoting? (I.e Tom publishes a post and references a comment to Bobs post complete with hyperlink).
I know bloggers CAN do it but I would think that if they had a little motivation they might be more inclined. I would expect a tophat-clad gentleman like yourself couldn’t care less about page view metrics and leaves it as scraps for the dogs roaming the intranets; however, I would also assume a man of your stature to be interested in spreading his gospel and highlighting his craft.
I am no programmer but I believe googles algorithms rank results by page views, well, at least partially. If so, such incentives to cross promote could drive momo and help solidify your position as a premier institution (as ranked by google, of course). The world would be a much better place if more people got a taste of you, fly – and I mean that in the best way. Nevertheless, I yield to you and Vincenzo on the matter.
Cheers!
john
I am quite familiar with the cartel and have made it one of my goals in life to tarnish them whenever possible.
As for your anonymity, feel free to email me from a hushmail account. I do not require identity to spread the good word.
I too value anonymity more than anyone else in the world, as I cloak myself behind the dragons of iBankCoin.
As for encouraging bloggers to lin k to me: I will do nothing of the sort. I do not beg for an audience, but command it. If bloggers do not link to me, they are without top hat. Plain and simple.
Touché.
I think you misunderstood me though; I was referring to the blogging network and only people who participate in it – I must admit a bit of ignorance here but I thought you still had the game whereby members receive points for certain types of posts ad what not? I would never dare venture to include you in the unwashed masses of the interweb who throw meatloaf and stroll around without top hat – 10,000 apologies for the confusion.
Glad to hear about FINRA, as well – will talk soon!
last investment i made that sucked dick was Gretta and Zoya at least in the end i had a little something to show for it.
Ibankcoin is the future. The dicksucker VC firms have been called out for the scamfuckers they are. Honesty will make this site. God bless the Fly.
The 0 is the same with the legions of parasitic retard followers either openly sponsoring the scam or too fucking stupid to see it.
“The Democrats are the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller and get the crabgrass out of our lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then they get elected and prove it….” P.J. O’Rourke
Man, PJ knew how to nail it, didn’t he?!
Government has never worked. Disfunctional bastard that exists no matter what. So feed the lesser beast. No genius over here, just can not comprehend how anyone would willingly want to piss the kids college fund to political fucks on purpose.
The republicans want us to keep more of our money. How the fuck does anyone that has a brain not vote for that. It is such a simple choice. Give the tax man a fuckload more next year or not. This is not complicated.
idiot
They look at business like a garrden, rather than something to suck blood from.
OEW Daily Recap:
“After reviewing the charts this morning. We updated the SPX hourly chart with a potentially bullish count, which should lift this market to new bull market highs. From the SPX 1329 Minor wave 2 low, we can now count four Minute waves: 1392, 1355, 1407 and 1396. This would suggest the market is in the early stages of a Minute wave v advance which should carry the SPX to the 1440 pivot.”
DAMMIT I KNEW GRPN was a short into earnings but the puts were so expensive – even the Aug 18th’s so i didn’t pull the trigger. Grrrrrrr…
how apropos that we have a vulture capitalist running for el prezidente … should he win, the results for humankind will be ZNGA- & GRPN-esque, by design
Better a capitalist than a blood suckling vulture.
How many jobs has Obama ever created? How many non-gubmint paycheck frontsides has he signed? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
We like that.
Based on my experience, I could have predicted that Groupon would suck dick many months before even coming public. Ever been to a restaurant during a “Groupon night”? My wife and I were caught in the middle of this experience once and it was fascinating. On these nights, every cheap asshole and his entire family decide to slither out to their local eating establishment (regardless of quality) for some “great deals”. For some reason they proceed to dine with a heightened sense of entitlement, treat the employees at the restaurant like garbage and then leave a tip based on the “Groupon” tab, not their real tab. This obviously infuriates the servers, thus leading to lackluster service for the customers not in on the sca….errrrr…..Groupon rate. Additionally, I have noticed that quality restaurants never, and I mean EVER offered a bullshit Groupon gimmick. Humm, I wonder why? This is a bullshit company that deserves every bit of the $00.00 per share price it is destined to attain.
Well said!
Nice post.
I’d like to chime in here in support of profanity. You wrote about this recently, but I was on vacation fucking and couldn’t respond.
I prefer my economic data served up with the profanity it deserves. The miserable ratfuckers on CNBC can only dream of being able to use the language which is one everybody’s lips. Headline: “Groupon and Zynga Both Suck Dick”. Exactly. What else need be said?
Somewhere, George Carlin is happy.