There’s a Bull Market in China

Just in case you’re trying to access the Pelican room inside of 12631 and can’t get in–please click on the drop down menu under ‘member login’ for new link. We’ve moved the server and upgraded the site, tossing the old one away.

I can’t believe it’s August already. This summer is flying by and I haven’t even taken a vacation yet. Due to my early problems with the market, I punished myself and canceled plans to visit Europe. But now the kids are complaining and they want to go somewhere. I was thinking about Orlando; but I’ve been to Disney and Universal so many times. I might just head out to my favorite city in America, La Jolla, Ca, and take them to Lego Land. If any of you wanna be travel agents have some vacation ideas, let me know.

The market is up–so far. Most of my stocks are up, which is just about everything. I own over 50 stocks now, which is probably the most I’ve owned in years. I don’t like the idea of sanctions on Russia, only because I remember how bad it was for the market the last time the Russian economy failed. It’s like we’re inviting a market calamity. Hopefully it gets worked out before disaster.

Look, the Shanghai has been running hot almost every single night. The only place to be now, for swing trades, is in Chinese burritos names. That’s it. 3-D and solar are dead. Social media stocks are being shorted by Janet Yellen, not to mention biotech stocks. The only high beta sector left to trade are the burritos. My favorites, as of now, are ZPIN and VNET–but that changes almost on a daily basis. Today’s burrito is tomorrows garbage, etc, etc.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t talk about the iBankCoin 7th Annual Dinner, starring the world’s best financial blogger who has ever lived.

In attendance was The Option Addict with wife, CHUCK BENNETT with girlfriend, VINCENZO ILLUMINATI, Ragin Cajun, ChessnWine, Cronkite, “The Fly” and my wife. On the menu was mutton, excessive quantities of raw oysters, shrimp, lobster–and as much bordeaux, bourbon, cognac and white russians (extra Dude) that our bodies could contain. One thing that was discussed and possibly agreed upon was for Option Addict and Chess to host a two day seminar, most likely to be domiciled in Las Vegas, a fine excuse for some of you perverts to come out and hang, learn a little, then proceed to cheat on your wives.

As for The PPT: I’ve been informed, in no uncertain terms, that it will be done within a month or two. Mr. Illuminati is working extra hard and has upgraded every single aspect of the software. Current members and prospective members will be thoroughly impressed.

Here is a screen shot of TLT’s August seasonality.

Futures are edging higher this evening. If we do not tank on the open, we shall shoot straight up. That’s my call and I am sticking to it. Ragin Cajun believes we are going to tank this week. Let the best man win.

I did indeud take a ‘power nap’ and I feel great. Apparently, the cleaning ladies dusted all around me when I was asleep. You could have detonated a grenade in the room next to me and I’d sleep through it. Looking at the charts, it appears I missed out on some grief and some buy the dip moments. Let’s face it, these are the moments we relish. We only realize it in hindsight–mostly because we’re too afraid to put ourselves out on a limb.

Bear in mind, when I say “we” I mean it in the royal sense, as I am nothing like you (lolz). I’ve never been afraid to lose money and I sometimes dare mother market to do her worst, which she certainly did back in April and May of this year.

Reversals abound. You know the stocks that I like–but it’s somewhat meaningless when in a state of oversold. Everything will go higher, led by the stocks that dropped the most.

Stay long chinese burritos. Buy some TLT as a hedge and prepare to enjoy the upward slope.

Normally I am ready to do battle, every single day. I man my trebuchet and lob incindiery devices into enemy encampments. But today I am a bit tired, something to do with getting a little less than 3 hours sleep. I saw the futures before I decided to nap and they were down 14. Then when I woke up they were down 10. The stupid jobs numbers came out and they went green. The market opened down, ever so slightly. And now, post ISM numbers, the market is green.

This is too much fucking drama.

I want to live in a sucker free world, a place where markets only go higher and money is printed for the benefit of a select few who are wise enough to invest in the stock market. The whack-a-mole aspect to this retarded industry, eventually, causes massive heart attacks.

Look, can’t you people just go to the homosexual opera and leave me alone? Most of my stocks are up right now. The weekend is just around the corner. The weather is perfect and I have things to do. I don’t enjoy having to do scold you like this–but something has to change. You can’t keep bouncing around the office like that, in search for short positions. You’re gonna get yourself killed.

“The Fly” is all about zen and how it pertains to a non-violent work environment. Let us see the market higher today without any back and forth, small skirmishes that prove nothing, sort of like the south seceding from the union–only to get their asses and cities burned to a cinder later.

I am in a very gregarious mood. I just had dinner at my favorite fish eatery in Princeton. The boys from iBC are en route to NYC as we speak for our annual meeting. And, to top it off, The PPT is flashing OVERSOLD–once again. I am telling you this, despite you being a mere internet leech, a leper of sorts, because I am a very generous man. Just this week, you have received a free rare gift from After Hours with Option Addict and now you get to BEHOLD! a live PPT OVERSOLD signal, which flagged throughout the trading session.

Over the past 12 months the stats read like a Rocky Marciano headline, 0 losses out of 10 contests.

What does it all mean?

Flawless victory awaits.

Over the past 36 months, the signal has a 86% track record, 24 wins– and just 4 losses (extra Dwight Gooden). It is a supreme engine of winship, a tool that none of you deserve. But let’s be friends, shall we? Embrace yet another gift from atop the capstone of iBankCoin and bear witness to face rippage as early as tomorrow–and assuredly by mid-next week.

SHOMP

Panic hit Wall Street today, as more sellers than buyers showed up for work, with the NASDAQ leading the way lower by 2.0%. Virtually everyone was an extreme loser today, with over 500 stocks down by more than 4%.  Some of the larger losers that stood out were HGG (-16%), AVG (-13%), MTW (-13%) and of course Janet Yellen’s favorite short position YELP fell by 11%.

Most of the people who were buying stocks yesterday sold them today. There wasn’t any grande piece of news, per se. The sell off can be summed up best by a financial blogger called “The Fly” or “Le Fly”, as he’s popularly known in France, saying “The market is the sum total of jackasses divided by assholes for the benefit of jerk offs. I spent my time wisely today, eating corned beef sandwiches and plotting the downfalls of my evil enemies. I’d advise you to do the same, if you knew what was good for you.”

Top picks: Long The PPT Oversold signal, 12631 and After Hours with Option Addict.

Amen.

The market will bounce within a day or two, maybe three. Typically on 90% down days, I like to get out there and drink the blood. Like Dracula, I relish in any opportunity to drain the guy bouncing off his walls, getting his face ripped off in his margin account. However, I am not buying today because the dollars that I earmarked for the market are dated.

I will hold this cash, no matter what, until after Labour day. I am a strong believer in seasonal trends and the market always tends to nonplus us during September and October.  Also, it’s worth mentioning, I believe we are traveling the road of 2000. This being the last day of July, I am not discouraged by my prophecies of ‘extreme lunatic grandeur’ for the month of August. Ideally, this is the dip you should all be buying, right in the faces of Ukraine, Russia, Illegal Mexicans and Palestinian refugees. Feel free to blow cigar smoke, ashes and all, into the eye glasses of Jim Chanos, to let him know that you are not scared of his stupid ideas.

There will be a reckoning. I can promise you that. But this is not it. This, my stupid co-depedent friends from the internets, is an opportunity.

The last time the breadth was this low (~11%) was on 2/3/14. Do you know what happened almost immediately after that? The market ripped higher. That doesn’t mean history is going to repeat itself. Maybe this time is different. Perhaps the market has topped for good and Ebola is coming to a movie theatre near you.

People always get pessimistic on down days. I am sure the rhetoric was mind numbing on 2/3/14, with the reader class throwing meat loaf at me and everyone rolling into their FAZmobiles. But then the market bounced and everyone lost all of their money again.

Are you going to lose all of your money again? Or, this time, will you remain stoically patient in the face of grave horrors?

I am long the market, with size. For my personal account, 25% is wrapped up in TLT, which is underperforming (for now). Rates aren’t going higher and Spain does not deserve to have lower rates than the United Steaks of America.

This is most likely a buyable dip. Naturally, timing is key. I will be watching out for oversold signals throughout the day.

The wins over at After Hours with Option Addict continues, starring 1,000% gains in X calls, as well as a more timid 350% gain in his TWTR calls. In honour of everything that is good and holy, I offer you–the reader– a rare gift of having a 1 day FREE TRIAL to his chambers.

Click here to receive your rare gift.

I started a position in VRNS.