The Bond King says “SELL EVERYTHING”

It greatly behooves me to report that Jeffrey Hannibal Gundlach isn’t a fan of the ark any more. Moreover, he isn’t a fan of anything. His mood is entirely dire and is predicting doom, as he eagerly waits for it in his mega mansion, sprawling, estate.

The only respite, by the Bond King’s calculations, is to remain inside of the gold mine and wait for the economy to implode.

The artist Christopher Wool has a word painting, ‘Sell the house, sell the car, sell the kids.’ That’s exactly how I feel – sell everything. Nothing here looks good,” Gundlach said in a telephone interview. “The stock markets should be down massively but investors seem to have been hypnotized that nothing can go wrong.”

Gundlach, who oversees more than $100 billion at Los Angeles-based DoubleLine, said the firm went “maximum negative” on Treasuries on July 6 when the yield on the benchmark 10-year Treasury note hit 1.32 percent.

“We never short in our mainline strategies. We also never go to zero Treasuries. We went to lower weightings and change the duration,” Gundlach said.

Currently, the yield on the 10-year Treasury note is 1.45 percent, which has translated into some profits so far for DoubleLine.

“The yield on the 10-year yield may reverse and go lower again but I am not interested. You don’t make any money. The risk-reward is horrific,” Gundlach said. “There is no upside” in Treasury prices.

Gundlach reiterated that gold and gold miners are the best alternative to Treasuries and predicted gold prices will reach $1,400. U.S. gold on Friday settled up at $1,349 per ounce.

Gundlach lambasted Federal Reserve officials yet again for talking up rate hikes for this year while the latest GDP data showed disappointing economic growth. “The Fed is out to lunch. Does the Fed look at what’s going on in the economy? It is unbelievable,” he said.

Overall, Gundlach said the Bank of Japan’s decision on Friday to stick with its minus 0.1 percent benchmark rate – and refrain from deeper cuts – reflects the limitations of monetary policy. “You can’t save your economy by destroying your financial system,” he said.

DOOM!

I do agree that the market should be down massively. But, then again, I like to scream fire in a crowded room. My support for treasuries lies in Japan and Germany, where rates are negative. As long as competing government bonds are negative, I believe our treasuries offer a unique arb for advantageous investors.

The empire strikes back. It’s hard to believe just 1 week after U.S. Government officials accused Russia of hacking into the DNC, leaking the emails via Wikilwaks, this cyber attack on Russian agencies is just a mere coincidence.

Perhaps this is an example of 21st century ‘mutual destruction’? Instead of building nuclear silos and long range. missiles, we send out geek squads to shut shit down via the internets.

The hack reportedly targeted a number of government bodies.
A “professional” cyber attack has hit Russian government bodies, the country’s intelligence service says.

A “cyber-spying virus” was found in the networks of about 20 organisations, the Federal Security Service (FSB) said.

It said the hack had been “planned and made professionally”, and targeted state organisations, scientific and defence companies, as well as “country’s critically important infrastructures”.

The malware allowed those responsible to switch on cameras and microphones within the computer, take screenshots and track what was being typed by monitoring keyboard strokes, the FSB said.

I haven’t read anyone discuss this topic today. There are thousands of Germans taking to the streets today, demanding that Merkel step down due to her open door immigration policy. After about a dozen people have been killed in terror attacks over the past week, it appears the German people have had enough.

Horst Seehofer, the conservative premier of Bavaria, said he did not share Merkel’s ‘we can do it’ credo on accommodating the almost 1.1 million migrants and refugees who arrived in 2015.
Speaking after a meeting with the Bavarian government in Tegernsee, he added that the solutions to date were ‘too inadequate.’
Stressing he had no wish to start a quarrel with Merkel’s party, Seehofer said it was important to look ‘reality’ in the face.
An axe rampage, a shooting spree, a knife attack and a suicide bombing in the span of a week stunned Germany, leaving 13 people dead, including three assailants, and dozens wounded.
Three of the four attackers were asylum seekers, and two of the assaults were claimed by the Islamic State group.
‘Merkel must go’ has been trending on social media, with people posting powerful pictures including one claiming that she has blood on her hands after recent attacks.
A new survey found that 83 per cent of Germans see immigration as their nation’s biggest challenge – twice as many as a year ago.

No one really knows how Merkel got the Bundesbank to go along with insane European QE. If you recall, it took a long time to get Merkel to come around to feeding into the degeneracy that was and still is PIGS. One thing is for certain, should a new leader replace Germany, her economic policies with the ECB will come into question, threatening the very fabric of fairy dust that is holding the EU together.

This is a moronic movie. There were very few scenes I appreciated in this hoax of a super hero film. Yes, aside from being a fan of the classics, The Fly has been known to eat popped corn, wearing 3-D glasses, in order to view b grade action movies.

This movie was wildly successful amongst young people and I can see why. It’s fucking stupid.

Don’t waste your time with this drivel.

I’m taking a break from the news today, amidst heinous household events that have conspired against me. I’ll be getting my Peter Jennings on again on Sunday. In case you’re unfamiliar with seasonal trends, the month of August is a great one for passengers of the USS Ark and persons willingly holed up under the numerous protections of the gold mine.

Have a look for yourself.

Specific to TLT, that gains are often bountiful and in an obsequious manner.

I’ve never been known to clamour for ape-raping markets, the sort of sordid affair that sends men off balconies and onto closed manholes below. Until now!

The ark floats.

In case you missed the announcement, the hallowed halls of 12631 has merged with the sacred domain of Exodus, giving our members a ridiculous and gracious edge in the fight against the evil forces trying to sack our coin. Both services are now provided for the cost of one, so be sure to sign up and envelope yourselves in the winship of these two superior financial offerings.

Aside from screaming fire in a crowded room here, inside Exodus I am somewhat pragmatic and I manage a portfolio of GARP stocks that I update twice per annum. It is up more than 12% over the past month. For the new trading room aka 12631, which I am now taking an active role in, I offer five new features.

1. Top long
2. Top short
3. Top high Risk Pick
4. Tactical Pick
5. Exodus Pick

Here, take a look.

Today I booked the gain in X. The stock is higher by more than 70% since I added it to the GARP index and up 27% since I featured it in my high risk pick in 12631. It will remain, however, a directional long in the GARP index, as it is only updated twice per annum.

I’ll be replacing X and possibly adding a tactical position this weekend.

Public service announcement is now over.

Hello there lads from the internets. I write to you from the confines of the auto dealership. My vehicle is in ruins. It just decided to break on me, out from the blue. In addition to that, my central cooling system has imploded. Warmer climes preside over House Fly. Good thing I have two independent systems to comfort me in the event of breakage. Lastly, I’ve been blessed with yet another pinhole leak in my copper fittings, located in my ceiling. All of these blessings can only mean one thing: a great doom and pox awaits you in the immediate term.

I have a rich history with this planet and when celestial beings work in tandem against me, the universe has always offered me great big karmic reversals, propelling me to new highs, in order to restore balance to our dimension.

What do I mean?

I will tell you exactly what I mean.

Utilities are up 27% for the year.

Fuck Google, Apple and Amazon combined. That’s right, I said it. I’m not a fan of the market, as you can tell by my marauding swag. The only thing that I own is this ark aka TLT. Since my position is one of the bearish varietal, coupled with the inexorable facts that horrible crimes are being committed against me today, I can only presume 10,000 blessings of winship is just around the bend.

I’d wish you good luck, but you wouldn’t know what to do with it if you had it.

Zero fucks given in this interview. I’ll let the man speak for himself.

It must be hard to run an internet company in a country that fucking BANS opinion. To reward the Chinese for their grave human rights misgivings, we should export more intellectual property and American jobs.

BIDU warned and offered the plebs reading their statement a small glimpse into the Chinese future. Hint: it doesn’t include human beings.

“The challenges Baidu faced in the second quarter served as a healthy reminder to stay focused on the key drivers of growth, sustainability and leadership: delivering the best user experience and staying at the forefront of technology,” said Robin Li, Chairman and CEO of Baidu. “As we enter the next chapter of the Internet, led by artificial intelligence, Baidu has never been better positioned to serve our users and work with our customers and partners, and change the world through technology.”

“While we experienced a tough second quarter, our value proposition to our users remains solid,” said Jennifer Li, CFO of Baidu. “Delivering a superior user experience and building a trusted platform are the pillars that will drive our long term sustainability.”

• Reports Q2 (Jun) earnings of $1.22 per share, in-line with the Capital IQ Consensus of $1.22; rev +10% to $2.75 bln vs. $2.74 bln consenus.
• Preannounced: Lowered Q2 rev to $2.807-2.823 bln from $3.12-3.19 bln on June 13
  • Mobile search monthly active users (MAUs) were 667 million for the month of June 2016, an increase of 6% year-over-year Mobile maps MAUs were 343 million for the month of June 2016, an increase of 13% year-over-year Gross merchandise value (GMV) for Transaction Services totaled RMB18.0 billion ($2.7 billion) for the second quarter of 2016, an increase of 166% year-over-year.
• Co issues downside guidance for Q3, sees Q3 revs of $2.714-2.796 bln vs. $2.97 bln Capital IQ Consensus Estimate.

The stock is barely down, off by 1.5%.

Wall Steet loves these GOOGL earnings, handily beating estimates and guiding higher for next quarter.

Look at these numbers, a work of art and beauty.

Two super gay analysts weigh in on a CNBC ‘exclusive’ interview.