Checking in From a Custom Designed Hell

Hello there lads from the internets. I write to you from the confines of the auto dealership. My vehicle is in ruins. It just decided to break on me, out from the blue. In addition to that, my central cooling system has imploded. Warmer climes preside over House Fly. Good thing I have two independent systems to comfort me in the event of breakage. Lastly, I’ve been blessed with yet another pinhole leak in my copper fittings, located in my ceiling. All of these blessings can only mean one thing: a great doom and pox awaits you in the immediate term.

I have a rich history with this planet and when celestial beings work in tandem against me, the universe has always offered me great big karmic reversals, propelling me to new highs, in order to restore balance to our dimension.

What do I mean?

I will tell you exactly what I mean.

Utilities are up 27% for the year.

Fuck Google, Apple and Amazon combined. That’s right, I said it. I’m not a fan of the market, as you can tell by my marauding swag. The only thing that I own is this ark aka TLT. Since my position is one of the bearish varietal, coupled with the inexorable facts that horrible crimes are being committed against me today, I can only presume 10,000 blessings of winship is just around the bend.

I’d wish you good luck, but you wouldn’t know what to do with it if you had it.