iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,466 Blog Posts

Whipped Like a Servant

I knew SFLY was going to cut my dick off, yet I held it because my equity exposure was just 25%. During the third annual iBC dinner, The Good Doctor Pearlman (the only “normal” person from StockTwits) suggested SFLY to be a short sale of epic proportions. Playing the advocate for the devil, I queried him about SFLY’s dominance in the Santa Claus picture market. He just sort of shrugged it off as something gentile, then guzzled down some red wine with violent ferocity. At the time SFLY was trading north of $50, now it’s in the mid-20’s and it’s still cutting my dick off.

At the close of trading, I was up 1.5% on my SFLY position. I shall awaken tomorrow, like an inverse vampire, finding that cocksandballs lover draining me of my blood, shitting on Santa Claus in the process.

RELATED: GMCR looks like a win. Fuck me. I sold GMCR and kept SFLY. I should leave town for the rest of the year and send you fuckers postcards from exotic islands, instead of playing this earnings lotto.

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53 comments

  1. Jakegint

    LOFL. That cover picture may be the funniest (in conjunction with the header) yet.

    That’s just genius.

    ______

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  2. Hook

    SFLY CFO’s last name is Rubash

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  3. xxx_stellar

    If it’s any consolation, I loaded up on gmcr 57 calls.

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  4. Doofus

    Like I said. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving bloke!

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    • The Fly

      when did you say that before?

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    • moolahheaven

      Your name is SO apropos. Just look at the class and good humor the ‘Fly’ shows as he on this rare occasion takes a loss while maintaining tails, top hat and cane in hand. That is class and demonstrates character. How rare that someone will call attention to a mistake he made and man up to it these days! You just might learn something and aspire to be such a gentleman someday, though I doubt you will.

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  5. SteveThe Neighbor
    SteveThe Neighbor

    Funny that you should mention Doctor Phil Pearlman. He is Mrs. Fly’s OBGYN and belongs to our Men’s Club at Synagogue Gefilteschlep. Right now he is organizing a trip to help the underprivileged in Greenwich, Ct. Doctor Pearlman is such a mensch.

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  6. brk

    Don’t worry, soda is going to kill it too.

    http://www.google.com/insights/search/#q=keurig%2Csodastream&cmpt=q

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  7. sheila

    not only is dr pearlman incredibly brilliant but he is also soooooo hot.

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  8. TeahouseOnTheTracks

    Acct performance for Jan 2012:

    Income +5.77%
    Trading +8.43%
    Speculative +34.45%

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  9. ShortSqueeze

    Why is the news media sucking Facebook cock? These shares have been trading privately for a few years. If you know anyone in the industry there have been hedge funds that you could have gotten into that have FB around $25/sh if you really want it that bad. The downside to getting in the funds: $100K min investment. 2 year min hold B4 you can flip your shares. 20% performance fee above the high water line. 4% in other fees. CNBC is hyping this like its 1999. You CAN get FB shares pre-ipo. Geez! Prob is most traders want to flip and the funds aren’t allowing that! Word is GS has $500 mil of FB at 30ish.
    Fuck FB- hopefully site will be offline in a few years as people began to realize real life is much more fulfilling than a virtual one!

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  10. DragonSoros

    SODA better cut some dicks off tomorrow.

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  11. DjTrader

    Thanks for making me feel better, fly. I saw an opportunity to sell short today ahead of earnings. So after sfly rose and seemingly settled about 1% up, I sold short. I held it until the closing bell and gritted my teeth while it rose about 4% more. In premarket it started to decline–I bought to cover, getting my money back and a little bit more– I was tired of the agony. And well, it fell several percentage points more. Oh, there’s so many choices–at least I didn’t bail on the thing just before close when it was up nearly 6%. But you have my sympathy. I’ve made monumental errors all last year as I’ve been learning and I’m finally getting the feel of it–I hope!! So today I could’ve been royally F*%&#d, but escaped with a little extra change rattling around in my account.

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  12. dave

    Somebody should just create a company called Facetwitter (I’m contemplating reserving Facesitter, Plentyofsex and Sexyretards from GoDaddy as I type this) . I think social media is a crock of shit fad. Nobody gives a fuck about you except your closest friends (maybe 5) and immediate family.

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    • drummerboy

      like i said time and again the internet and these social sites is pretty much the “yellow pages” of modern times reinvented.problem i have is,with billions of people on the airwaves and internets all day and night 24/7,then why are telecom companies cheap,as far as share prices.you’d think that companies like T,vz, and a few others would be in the 60-80 dollar range. where does all that coin go?

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      • Mad_Scientist

        Agree with your question. When I entered the world of stock trading in 2011, I was very surprised to find verizon so cheap and to see that it never really goes anywhere.

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  13. razorsedge

    was at the local grocrey store. manager said sales were up 20-30% from last year. so some r doing better or at least they think there doing better. either way i think were headed higher. imho

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    • Jakegint

      How much of that is food inflation?

      ______

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      • razorsedge

        good point

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        • Heaterman

          Exactly. Grocery inflation has been hidden to a large extent by the astounding decrease in package content weight. Even considering that effort to make prices appear the same, I have to say that the guys increase in sales is probably along the order of 10-15%. The rest would be inflation/dollar destruction.
          My family is in the grocery business so I see this every day.

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  14. Fifty2weekhi

    I was wondering the same: if $SODA were a $GMCR play, why did you sell GMCR and hold SODA? Let’s hope the correlation between the two is still there. Last time I checked, they seem to have decoupled.

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    • Frog

      Fly often sells stuff too soon. You can buy what he buys, or buy when he sells, either one, and it often works out well.

      But not always. No one can win every trade, so there are sometimes surprises like SFLY.

      BTW, why is SFLY down rather than up AH? Its earnings report sounded great to me.

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  15. Bobby Boucher

    Oil looking like it’s made a significant top. If I wasn’t so afraid of waking up one day to “Israel bombs Iran” or “Iran shuts down the Straits of Hormuz” headlines I’d get me some $SCO.

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    • Mad_Scientist

      lol at those headlines. although maybe the second one might happen. I really wish the first would, but Israel’s leadership is choosing to put itself in danger instead. A pity.

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  16. andi

    to be or not to be…..
    ROFL

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  17. Blind Read Ant

    Incidentally. $WYNN spoke out, politically, and the last 2011 quarter earnings.

    HOBOama’s pocketed-Oppenheimer cats skinned Steve’s shareholders, and me, on earnings. Know how that one goes.

    Despite no “Special Dividend” declaration, a fat $ 5 divy was the outcome. Of course, I had exited stage left by then.

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  18. Quint

    Fly – I see you are looking for a home in NJ. Here is a nice one for you in a town near me. It could use some better interior decorating and landscaping. Listed at $3.2mm, offer them $2.8mm and they’ll jump at it.

    http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/19-Trinity-Place_Warren-Twp_NJ_07059_M60758-83203

    The Warren, Basking Ridge, Bedminster, Bernardsville area is best. Far Hills is nice too for the Forbes crowd but no local schools.

    That’s where I would look.

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    • Jakegint

      That looks like Tony Soprano’s house.

      Someone please tell me who told architects that that ridiculous “high portico” look EVER looked good.

      It’s the epitome of ugly, closely followed by the “house of 27 gables” rooflines all those McMansions have.

      ______________

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      • Quint

        He’s in West Caldwell…a few counties away.

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      • drummerboy

        everyone is using that on builds, and rehabs for some time now. turrets, and octogons at the front entrance has been hot,if done right.mostly with stone

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    • Bozo on a bus

      Very pretty area, but if I had a choice, I would probably take Washington Rock.

      I lived in Gillette in the early 90’s commuting south 1 hour, moved close to work, and then got transferred to Warren in 2000, with a 1 hour commute exactly the opposite. Gillette might be overall the nicest place I ever lived in.

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  19. flyaway18

    As I mentioned early this fall, our school library has a Keurig coffee maker. For $1.25 it will pour you a great cup of coffee. You put the money right into a slot that’s built into the coffee maker. The little cannister was a Hazelnut coffee from Gloria Jean’s. I wouldn’t buy a Keurig myself because I would rather have a very nice top-of-the-line espresso maker, but the coffee I had today was very good and nice and hot. Way better than what I make from my old Mr. Coffee Elite.

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    • CalgaryG

      Freshly ground,quality beans properly brewed in a French press is excellent, and has the additional “perk” of not being as much of a blight on the environment as all those little plastic pods…..

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      • CalgaryG

        ……Unless, of course wanton destruction of the planet for no other reason than to satisfy puerile tastes in beverages is the goal, then, carry on……

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        • flyaway18

          Oh no, I think our school uses the coffee machine to raise money and we are not trying to destroy the environment. Wonder if the plastic can be recycled. One of my dearest friends from New Jersey makes her coffee using a French press, but it’s not very hot coffee. I liked it enough though.

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          • MetalLeg

            She should try using hot water.

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          • Mr. Partridge

            but not from the tap 🙂 ..
            Avoid cooking with or drinking water from hot water taps, because hot water dissolves copper more readily than cold water does…

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          • ruggyup

            Not if one lives in FL where the pipes are plastic. They don’t dissolve, corrode or erode from the fucking shit piss water coming up from the aquifer beneath the swamps and phosphate mines.

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  20. Frog

    Lots of folks sure drink this GMCR coffee. My nephew is in the Army and is on his 2nd tour in Afghanistan. What does he ask all his relatives to send to Afghanistan for him and the folks and his unit? Those packages of K cups of different flavors of coffees. That and some kind of cookies named Nutter Butter.

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  21. Bullish

    If the groundhog sees his shadow, I am buying DECK.

    If he doesn’t, I’m shorting it.

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  22. Mr. Partridge

    Quietly Canadian $ have risen above $US

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  23. Bullish

    Anyone noticed that there is complete silence from the bears around here.

    This usually signals a short term reversal is due.

    The bears are officially dead. It’s not even fun to taunt them at this point. Good luck Vegas… Wherever you may be.

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    • jg

      on the flip side, when the bears are in control the page views are squarely above 3G.

      sidenote: today i was out on a jog and suddenly the ghost of LADY GUENEVERE spoke to me. wonder what happened to that booch.

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