BEHOLD: The Funniest Show on Teevee

I hope you brought your track shoes.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAlkow_j88Y 603 500] [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbHHYBDfvPw 603 500] [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjogMMnm8DM 603 500]

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Typically bonds trade counter to stocks. Meaning: when stocks trade up, bonds go down and vice versa. However, during this recent run, both stocks and bonds have risen in tandem, which raises the obvious question: what’s different this time around?

Is it the Fed’s purposeful intervention that is artificially depressing yields in an attempt to rescue the housing market? Think about it. They are “creating” wealth via a roaring stock market and keeping rates absurdly low at the same fucking time–diabolical genius!

They are having their cake and eating it too.

The rising wealth wave, that is the stock market, is inherently inflationary. Fuckers like me go out and buy boats, cars and clothes. Plus, I might hire a blogger or two. By keeping rates so low at a time when the market is ripping is better than any tax cut “the chimpanzee” (Bush) ever passed. Obama is a financial guru, led by the greatest man who has ever lived, Benjamin Bernanke.

Naturally, this will end badly, vis a vie $100 tomatoes and things of that nature. But, in the meantime, shit is good.

Disclosure: I am still long fuckloads of VXX.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYNcBcDmFTs

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If anyone needs me for the remainder of the day, understand something, I’ll be in surgery, working on portfolios– partaking in things of that nature. You may not understand this, as your feeble brains cannot grasp what I am doing here, but CPST is going the fuck higher. Specific to my cause, so is VXX, TIF, and once I buy it, BID.

There is nothing that will escape the clutches of Dr. Fly in 2012, currently working on a perfect year, in the 15th fucking inning. You bozos clown around near fountain drinks while I’m decanting shit from the 1600’s found at the bottom of oceans.

Everyone is bullish because people take the path of least resistance all the time. This is classic sales 101. Give a person an easy out and they will take it. “The Fly” doesn’t fuck around with easy paths or short cuts. I do the heavy lifting, doing shit because it’s hard. I read long books that look like bibles and I never read instructions–because I can figure the shit out myself.

BEAR WITNESS to the great spectacular, little people from the interworlds. Your lives are about to improve by a factor of 20, just by being around my awesomeness. Pardon the direct tones; I have little desire to waste time today.

Ladies and gents, Chinese burrito stocks are ripping higher today, names like CAAS have no place in the minds of gentlemen. I venture, once again, this is indeud the last leg of the turkey. Chow down and eat heartily for the famine is right around the corner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0OlGzsalC4

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Well that correction lasted longer than the others. I enjoyed our 1 hour pullback and look forward to some face ripping to the upside for the remainder of the day.Europe was down about a percent, not us fuckface. We’re throwing jellyfish onto the bears’ faces and surfing on their fucking heads.

I only have a few positions: TIF, TZA, VXX, CPST. Save VXX, they’re all up today, so that makes me a very happy man, indeud. I feel like throwing some hapless skullfuckers down a few flight of stairs to celebrate.

The truth is, I am eyeballing BID and waiting to get in.

In all seriousness, you’re all setting up to get tossed into lit fireplaces. Adding to high beta names here is equal to dousing yourself with kerosene, before going outside to BBQ over an open pit. I will moderate my desires to gamble by watching teevee and figuring out new “trigger words” that annoy Mrs. Fly, pal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_UoYrQlU-g

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This week there is a trial regarding MLM’s acquisition of VMC, with reference to a non-disclosure agreement between both companies that can strip VMC from MLM forever and ever.
Should MLM lose, shares of VMC will get graped.

As the illusion of sharp recovery spreads, expect auto sales, released on 3/1, to come in robust, due to an easing credit environment, Japanese resurgence and mild winter in the US. On better than expected sales numbers, shares of ORLY, AAP, MGA, BWA, AXL, LEA and DLPH may trade up.

As for me, I am keenly focused on the high end. I started a position in TIF and have my eyes fixed on BID. It is my belief that art and collectibles for the wealthy will continue to rise in value. BID’s position is supreme, sharing an exclusive duopoly with Christies. As prices for fine art and collectibles rise, due to the superfluities of the insanely rich and uncertainty of paper currencies, BID makes a commission off every single sale. They are the Goldman Sachs of the collectibles world.

After BID, I will look to acquire the shares of SKS and LUX, also based upon the arcane spending habits of bored and rich housewives.

Before I get to that, I need to address my burgeoning VXX position. As you know, I’ve been rubbing that shit all over my chest, boasting about its medicinal values whilst punching people in the face with handfuls of seaweed. And, as an aside, I still have an open TZA position.

What I need to happen is this, listen or read this poem very carefully, small pleb:

The markets get fucking crushed, like an accordion being operated by a deranged, sex-mad, cocaine addled Italian.
Things just fall apart quickly, allowing “The Fly” to laugh mightily in bold tones, as you weep in cold, dark showers.
Surprise!, as your positions get blown out by an aggressive margin clerk with expediency, leaving your account in shambles and your personality in rocks and dust.
I step in, with sharp strokes, buying up shit that no one wants, because it is my birth-right to do so.
Surprise! yet again, as I mud-stomp your grave, dancing on it because it’s fun. The world is my sandbox and I have spikes under my shoes.

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My double down in VXX was sublime, if I might be so bold as to say so. Volatility bottomed and ripped higher, taking me with it. I ride the volatility, like Reagan stomped on the dreams of incredibly ridiculous liberals. As I write this missive, I am down just 1.2% on my VXX, going “tits up” into the bell.

Secondly, I averaged down on my sinking CPST position. I’ve been waiting for the right time to buy in. There have been large bidders in the name all day. I took advantage of that support and positioned in around $1.14-1.15, reducing my cost to $1.28.

I made one long directional trade today, buying up TIF. Thus far, I am underwater by 0.8% since my purchase.

Bottom line: I am 75% cash, with play positions out there, waddling around the schoolyard. I haven’t invested my money in earnest yet because I feel, as evident by my repetitiveness on the matter, that we are heading lower. As a point in fact, I believe it with every fabric of my DNA, down to my dysbindin-1 gene.

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I added to my CPST position.

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I will not tell you what you already know: people with money tend to spend it, regardless of economic trends. I am putting together an index to track high end retail or anything exclusive to those with a lot of money.

Here is what I have, so far:

BID, RL, COH, BC, AAPL, COH, KORS, WFM, LULU, PII, LUX, JWN, TRLG, SKS, ETH, TIF, HWD, MOV, WSM, STNR, MTN

I realize some of those names aren’t necessarily exclusive to the super rich. However, all of them are considered to be “premium.”

Feel free to add names in the comments section.

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I started a position in TIF this morning, while drinking tea and eating crumpets.

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Earnings from coal producers have been abysmal. The culprit is two fold: one coming from stricter regulations at 0bama’s EPA and the other is natural gas. Before you step into these coal stocks, understand the risk. From ACI to ANR to WLT, they are idling plants in response to weak demand for low quality met coal from domestic utilities. Their canned prayer is for miraculous Asian demand to come back online. For some odd reason, even the Chinese are saying “no” to low quality black shit.

I am tempted to get long ANR here off an early morning reversal, post earnings. KOL is trending higher and these stocks, on paper, are value. The problem with value is the obvious: it is a trap. All of the coal producers are taking supply offline, similar to what natty producers have been doing over the past two years. Did cut backs in supply help the price of natty?

Exactly.

People don’t cut supply when shit is going good. So, you have to understand, coal companies are heavily burdened with debt and their underlying business is getting raped by T Boone Pickens (natty).

Of course a trade is a trade. And maybe China will start importing dumbass coal, in order to help out a few losers in West Virginia. But the more likely scenario is coal stocks will remain cheap until natural gas spikes and spikes hard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6ebutx-Fww

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