18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Just 27% of stocks were up today. If you made money, consider yourself lucky.
With all of the shopping frenzy taking place, Wall Street effectively tea bagged CNBC for trying to create a fervor around the classic ‘fade the black friday’ hype gibberish.
I lost 1% and was sorely disappointed with the downside reversal in BALT.
YELP was dragged lower with the rest of social media, after a TRLA downgrade; but recovered nicely into the bell. I am sure there were stocks that did well and some of you might enjoy bouncing around from one grenade to the next. But “The Fly” is tired of running from losses. As you can tell by my previous post, 2014 has been pock-marked with a slew of missed opportunities. Although I am +41% for the year, I literally should be +200%.
Long story short, December has begun with an uppercut to the scrotum, targeted at the small investor playing games inside of the internets, buying risk.
This is a reminder that sometimes, every so often, buy and hold is a good idea. I owned size in all of the above names this year and sold them for stupid gains or losses. I recall blowing out of DECK after an earnings miss in the $30’s. Fifty points later, I’m the dumbest man in the world.
2014 has been about the buy and the hold, making the traders look and feel stupid. I just sold ALJ 40% lower. I’m not sure if my prowess to pick massive winners is unique or common place. However, I am sure that I don’t want to repeat this dreadful record of impatience, especially on names that I am passionate about.
It’s very nice that AMZN wants to fly a helicopter to your doorstep. I am sure the good, gentrified, folks inside of Brooklyn’s urban centres will enjoy playing with them. Each and every year the media makes a big deal about ‘Black Friday’ and ‘Cyber Monday’. The truth is, people will spend as much as they can; but the economy is run, strictly, by the upper middle class to rich. All of the misfits who waited online for ‘sales’ aren’t relevant, in the big scheme of things.
Dry Bulk shipping rates are spiking again.
This is it, gents. I’m either going back to new highs or wallow in misery for the remainder of 2013.
As far as the market is concerned, December is a great month for stocks. HOWEVER, the Nasdaq has been down in 5 out of the past 10 years, including the last two. So don’t get ahead of yourself, pal. This market was designed to fleece you, in the end.
As we embark on yet another national holiday (cyber Monday), one thing comes to mind: IRON ORE SALES FROM CHINA.
It’s a perplexing situation, mind you. We’ve all grown to distrust anything Chinese, a land who prides itself on selling plastic rice to the poor and human embryonic soup to its rich. So, naturally, when I heard that iron ore demand out of China was more than robust, but fantastic, I was skeptical.
Then I had a conversation with an executive from a dry bulk shipping company. Apparently, this is for real.
Just last week the BDI surged ahead by 15% and is poised to move higher this week. When the dry bulk index moves higher, it tends to do so in very Liberace, behind the Candelabra, ways.
Once again, your top plays in the sectors are BALT, GNK and DRYS. The last two simply for upside explosion potential should Cape rates move up. BALT is your all around play, with even handed representation in the small vessels, as well as the big ones. They’re also the least levered and have enough cash to not only make it through the storm, but also expand its fleet–which is something most bulkers cannot afford.
I’d toss EGLE into the mix too. However, their last earnings report was so bad, I fear massive dilution and/or bankruptcy might be in the cards.
In short, I’ve held this hand for many months now and it has done nothing for me, as I am flat on my BALT position. Nonetheless, the BDI is moving now and so are the stocks. If this industry is going to do anything at all, now is the time, starting with tomorrow’s sit.
I will find your Russian/Chinese/Mongolian ass and make you pay. It’s one thing to plagiarize, behave like a sub-human knave because you’re too stupid to create anything of your own. It’s entirely another thing to attempt to disrupt and steal another man’s millstone.
If anyone would like to help with the capture of these internet thieves, feel free to enlist in the comments section.
As America bulked up last night, coincidentally, so did the Dry Bulk Shipping industry. There has been a swift sea-change in rates that demands to be observed.
Here is yesterday’s move in the BDI
That’s right, a 9% move in the BDI occurred as you stuffed your fat faces with bird.
And today’s move:
Most impressive is the spike in Capesize rates, which is helping GNK and DRYS rip tits to the upside.
The shipping index inside of The PPT is up more than 3% today, led by gains in SHIP, FREE, FRO, TOPS, EGLE, ESEA, NEWL, VLCCF, SBLK, NAT and PRGN.
However, as a student of this industry, an industry crushed under the weight of oversupply and economic sloth, I am telling you right now the best company is BALT. They’ve been bulking up and so will your wallet, if you’re so inclined as to hold it for another 3 months.
HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY!!!
Greetings from the pirate vessel in the turbulent seas, The SS CLAWHAMMER.
Last year we dove into the etiquette required to host a Thanksgiving Dinner party. Now we will address the important matter of comporting oneself as a guest, during the great holiday of Thanksgiving.
Upon arrival, hand the footman answering the door the sweets in your possession, as a gift to the host. You bring them in abundance, whether or not they are diabetic, on strict diets, or allergic to wheat. You bring them, nonetheless.
Example: “Hello Jeffrey (the name of the footman), please take this chocolate cake to the kitchen as a gift for my diabetic mother-in-law.”
After entering the home, be sure to exchange pleasantries with the hosts, both husband and wife. However, feel free to snub everyone else in a sudden act of aloofness.
Example: “Thank you so much for having us in your home (shaking the hand of the male, then kissing the right cheek of the female, keeping a 6 inch distance at all times). Immediately after being received, walk briskly and with purpose to the rear of the house, making believe everyone else were insignificant peasants of an underclass– invisible.
During refreshments, take up some casual conversation with the older looking men. They tend to harbor a great deal of vitriolic hate, since they’re markedly closer to death. It makes for great cocktail entertainement.
Example: “Hello Bill, have you been seeing all of those elderly people getting punched in the face by hyper-active urban students? I believe they call the game ‘knock-out.’ I read somewhere that Obamacare was going to issue free steel masks for the elderly to pre-empt expensive surgeries. Would you wear one?”
When dinner is announced, be sure to avoid sitting across from attractive ladies, as it might get you in unnecessary trouble with your wife during dinner. When the host requests that everyone donate to his charity of choice, due to some sympathetic cause, excuse yourself to the lavatory until after donations are taken.
Example: After hearing the request, call over one of the footmen and ask him to show you where the bathroom is located. “Excuse me William, would you be a sport and show me where you keep the bathroom hidden. I must relieve myself.”
Just before grace is said, ask the host if you could do the honors of offering a few words of thanks. During your brief speech, be sure to plug your company and/or services in a clever way that might appeal to the affluent gents in attendance.
Example: “Dear Lord, please bless these turkeys before they head into our mouths and stomachs.Thank you for allowing my firm (name of company) to excel this year with 30% gains in the stock market for the fifth consecutive year. I am sure we all have things to be thankful for and I felt it would be selfish of me if I didn’t speak my mind on this joyous occasion to let you know how pleased I am with the talents you’ve bestowed upon me. Omen.” (be sure to say “Omen” and not “Amen”, as it suggests better breeding.)
Following dinner, when the females are introduced to the aprons and the men retire to the antechamber for port and cigars, be sure to ally yourself with most aggressive debater, as it will allow you to vanquish the other males without breaking a sweat.
Example: “Bob is right. All of the evidence points towards CNBC being run by a homosexual mafia. Anyone who suggests otherwise, like Bob said, must have something to hide. QED.” (break the ash from your cigar, inadvertently onto the persian rugs below.) “I’m so sorry about that.”
When the ladies have cleaned up and are re-invited into the drawing room, feel free to establish small talk.
Example: “I really feel that if a mother doesn’t nurse a newborn with her own milk, such a mother is failing at her duties and should be replaced. Any father in his right mind knows this goes against the laws of nature and should prevent this abuse from occurring with all of his will.” Other gents chime in “HEAR! HEAR!” rattling their canes onto the floors below.
After several ladies complain about your remarks in disgust, pardon yourself and blame it on the excessive alcohol being served.
Example: “I am very sorry Mrs. Thompson. I believe Bill here has given me too much to drink, as I am not my usual self. TEN THOUSAND APOLOGIES.”
Shortly after, excuse yourself to the restroom and feign sickness. This will allow you to leave early, and avoid boredom.
Example: After coming back from the bathroom, holding your stomach, say “I am very sorry but Margaret and I must be going now, I am feeling rather ill. Perhaps the turkey or the port didn’t agree with me. Thank you so much for this lovely dinner.” Try to add a slight bit of sarcasm towards the end of the last sentence, but not overtly. You do not want to come off as rude.
When the hosts walk with you to the door to see you out, just before kissing the female host goodbye, make believe you’re about to vomit on her–but catch yourself with a clenched fist to the mouth.
Example: “Bill and Diane, I wish we could stay longer. This was lovely. (lean in to kiss Diane goodbye, then let the faux nausea begin!) Oh, my, I am really feeling rather ill and should depart at once. I bid you goodbye.” (tips hat, pushes open door with cane, exits).
I like to consider myself to be an expert in decorum. Lucky for you, I am going to share some of my secrets, in order to help you socialize during tomorrow’s Thanksgiving feast.
When hosting, be sure to address each person who enters your home by their proper surname, even if it’s your mother and father.
Example: “Good afternoon Mr. Thomson. I am so happy you could attend, accompanied by the venerable Mrs. Thomson.”
Immediately have someone fetch their outer-garments, then invite them to your parlour for refreshments.
Example: “Mr. and Mrs Thomson, please join me in the parlour. Can I offer you some wine or perhaps something stronger?”
After your guests have loosened up, serve appetizers and ask that they make a small donation to your favorite charity.
Example: “Mr. Thomson, please have a meatball, they’re delectable. They’re made from kobe. Also, let me offer you an opportunity to be charitable. Are you aware that children in Africa do not celebrate Thanksgiving?” (then proceed with sales pitch)
After you’ve achieved your philanthropic goals, ask everyone to sit and prepare for dinner.
Example: “Gentlemen and ladies in attendance, please join me in the dining area, where we will be serving a freshly slaughtered, organic, free range, stuffed bird, cranned berried sauce and other fine delicacies.”
Once seated and served, ask that everyone join hands to say grace. You will perform this function, and do so with the professional acumen that comes natural to you.
Example: “Dear Turkey Gods, thank you for all of this food on this table. I particularly would like to thank you for inventing cranned berried sauce and stuffing. I will be sure to douse your body with gravy and devour you whole. A-fucking-men.” (apologize to the children immediately)
While at the table, small talk is important. Try to address your guests with respect, but let them know who’s boss. It’s also important to frame your sentences in a way that demands a response, in order to keep the party vibrant.
Example: “Mrs. Thomson, would you be kind enough to pass me the gravy, okay, pal? Mr. Thomson, do you see those biscuits over there? Would you be a champ and get them for me? I greatly appreciate your assistance, thanks skip.”
After dinner, dismiss the women from the table, so that they might clean up. Ask for refreshments too.
Example: “Okay ladies, please allow the men to mingle in bitter solitude for a few moments. Dear (referring to wife), go get us some Port and a box of cigars. Mrs. Thomson, make yourself at home. There are plenty of aprons under the sink, if you need one.”
After you’ve had a nice cigar and some dessert wine, re-invite the ladies to join the men in the drawing room to discuss politics and religion.
Example: “Ladies, if you’re done cleaning up, please join us in the drawing room for casual discussion. Mrs. Thomson, how do you feel about Islam?”
Now it’s time to wind down operations. But it’s important to do so without looking rude. You do not want your guests to feel as if you’re kicking them out.
Make believe your pocket-watch isn’t working, tapping on it, complaining “this darn thing stopped working again. Can anyone be so kind as to tell me what time is it?” After hearing the time, address a guest in a specific manner to make her feel as if she’s intruding, but do so without her knowing it is intentional.
Example: “Mrs. Thomson, do you have many things to do tomorrow morning? My wife has been complaining to me all week about getting an early start on this Black Friday thing. Do you intend to wake up with the roosters and join the frenzy?”
When saying goodbye to your guests, be sure to offer parting compliments, prior to waving your hand as they drive away.
Example: “Thank you so much for dining with us tonight Mr. Thomson. Your wife. Ms. (emphasis on Ms.) Thomson looked especially elegant this evening with her costume. Is this Hermes, Ms. Thomson? (As they drive away, while waving and smiling profusely, yell out “Ciao.”
We all know Thanksgiving is nothing more than a mere Hors d’oeuvre for the main course: BLACK FRIDAY.
We endeavor to save money by spending less. We might miss the Thanksgiving festivities in favour of waiting on a frozen roped line outside of Best Buy, clamoring in piggish fashion for deals. After all, where else might we find 10-20 even 30% discounts on all of our favorite items? The thriftiness of the Black Friday speaks to the great character of our nation, a country whose number one goal is cost cutting, whether it be through a national healthcare plan, defense spending or even by the actions by the Federal Reserve.
PERHAPS PARTAKE IN A CELEBRATORY GAME OF ‘KNOCK-OUT’, WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY, ON YOUR WAY TO THE STORES THIS FRIDAY?
Gentlemen,
The Turkey Gods are present at the New York Stock Exchange today. BEWARE of your shortsales, for they will be tossed into the desk of the Gods, boiler room style. We’re going up today and again on Friday, even though the nation will be busy helping out our local retailers “go black.”
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