GET BACK IN THE MATRIX

Futures are higher and the peasants are being overrun by leather whips, lashes to the face and chin.

With the ‘historic’ Iranian peace accord (ack, ack, ack) Brent crude should underperform, as it is likely that fresh Brent supplies will make it to the world stage soon enough. If that’s the case, you want to avoid US refinery stocks, until the spread ‘normalizes.’ In general, however, the perverts in DC will never let crude drop below $85, as it’s against their best interest to do so. Therefore, any dip in oil stocks due to this marvelous peace deal should be bought.

As a matter of fact, everything should be bought, sans the stocks that are heading into earnings. You want to avoid reality as much as possible. Live inside of the Matrix, become and actor, someone important; live in Australia. But, by no means should you ever live in the real world and have to deal with the consequences of an earnings miss.

Once earnings are out of the way, we can live on Fantasy Island again, throw Hawaiian flowers at one another, get drunk and buy stocks.

This is the week when “The Fly” de-robes and roams about his office, burning a profuse amount of incense, so much so the fire alarms awake Mrs. Fly, who will then panic and scurry about to get the children to safety. The bastard firemen will come to extinguish a fire that’s so hot, they will inform Mrs. Fly “that nothing can be done.”

I shall rip the gizzards out of those jive turkeys who’ve been squawking at me. This is the week when dreams will be made, shattered, and generally reconfigured.

The power of the Turkey Gods is an undeniable force to be reckoned with. Let the jackasses pop champagne corks into each others faces, celebrating Iranian peace accords and the first female chief at the Federal Reserve. We will ignore them and bank coin in stocks instead– because that’s our religion, political disposition, and goal in life.

Lesser men ponder the meaning of life, what their elected officials are doing and why Jesus Christ is so damned absentee. Men of letters, learned men, understand that the only thing that matters is personal progress through enterprise. In this case, our enterprise, gentlemen, is the stock market. Without possessing capital, you cannot make a difference in this world. You will loaf about the couch and bed wondering where your life went and how it ended up sucking so badly. While money may be the root to all evil, it’s also the elixir.

Having been on both sides of the fence, I can tell you there isn’t a moral advantage to being broke and disheveled.

So let us enjoy this week of massive celebration and vanquish our foes into the hard rocks, break their necks like poultry, and do it with a smile 🙂

Well, are you?

On the table is a loaf of bread. I pick the bread up and slice it with my knife. I cut it to ribbons and eat it all. After I eat the bread, I gather the crumbs and eat them too. I eat as much as I can now, while there is bread on the table, knowing a famine could be ’round the corner at any time.

As we embark on closing out a 7th straight up week in the market, I want to vigorously roundhouse people in the face, knock their ears from their heads, as I’ve all but missed it.

I missed the boat, being in the boat, suffering in the cabin with other cursed fishermen. But we are hungry and will continue our journey. Our vessel is no longer neutral, as it’s now fitted for open seas piracy and our crew has grown deranged from starvation.

I am going now, seeing my portfolio up a mere 0.57% for the day and BALT lower.  Any wholesale changes will be met with comedy, as was the case with ALJ and TRLA. Therefore, I’ve decided to remain aboard this vessel  and just ride it out.

Better currents ahead!

He is out and about running errands, working slavishly for the people in search of conquest. If you care to relay a message, please leave it here, else risk perishing in the fires of hades without ever saying your word.

Even though you’ve managed to fail at everything you’ve ever tried, since little league baseball: you’re about to make a tremendous amount of money in the stock exchange!

The great Turkey run of 2013 is about to commence. On the menu is the hearts and livers of those who bet against you. Would you like to eat these delicacies with rice or potato?

Your wife is going to think you’re so cool, she’s gonna buy you one of those “T-Bird” leather jackets from Grease for making all of that coin. You’re a lucky man.

Shortsellers will be crippled under junked Tesla automobiles and not afforded the luxury of wheeled chairs. Without the assistance of reality, via earnings reports, the bears will fall inside of the “fantasy hole”, subsequently devoured–never to be seen again.

All of “The Fly’s” stocks will recover and he will close out the year, miraculously, at all time highs, plus 70%–punching people in the face, knock-out style, all the way to the bank. Parades will be held in his honour and smaller men will be sacrificed to the stock gods, honored in the fires of a pyre, for the benefit of everyone here at iBankCoin.

There were a few laggards, including BALT. But all in all, it was a clean rally, sporting 75% breadth. Let’s see if we get some follow through.

All of the crap that came under pressure popped today.

Names that interest me, aside from my holdings, include ILMN ($100 roll), refiners (arggg), and for some reason AFOP keeps popping up.

Based upon fundamentals, LNN is cheap as hell. And, I like fallen stars ANGI and OWW. Recent IPOs that interest me are WDAY, VEEV, CRTO and WUBA.

I am almost 3% for the session, led by RBCN. I don’t even care, really. Wake me up when I make another 10%. Goddamned  bastard losers.

Hey, did you see MODN post horrible numbers? That company has more than 50% of its market cap in cash. They just came public, yet they suck so quickly. Have a look at their employee reviews on Glassdoor.com. Hilarious brunch time entertainment.

I have to be honest with you, since that’s how I roll here. I’m doing myself a disservice by not searching for new ideas. I’ve stopped looking for over a week, satisfied with dealing with the outcome of my current holdings. That’s never been my style and I need to start hunting again.

If taking a fresh view of this market, I’d position in names that are outperforming, instead of buying dips. There has been a rotation taking place for more than 3 weeks and if you’re not careful, you’ll get swept up under the rug, forgotten, as top hatted gentlemen walk all over you above.

Even though Eddie LampBERT (sp?) sucks, the stock has done very well in 2013. If I had to sum up 2013 and boil it down to one theme it would have to be ‘short squeeze.’ From HLF to NFLX, 2013 has been the year when professional short sellers were studiously tossed into alligator pits.

$100 rolls have also been pretty cool. Look at JAZZ. I remember holding that stock for a few weeks, waiting for it to roll, only to sell it right before it did.

Words cannot express how disappointed I am with my recent forays into the stock exchange. I’ve been playing a game of ‘Knock-Out’ with myself since Hallow’s Eve and I am damn sick of loosing [sic].

I need pull myself out from the mud, draw my guns, and start shooting people in the face again.

The market looks good, yet again, despite TLT getting kicked in the nuts.

DEVELOPING…

BTW: Anyone else find it humorous that Carl Icahn announced a 13-D active position in HLX just a few days after warning about the stock market being pricy?

I’m still laughing at the ‘research report’ circulated by Citron yesterday, dragging VJET through the sticks and mud. Who wrote that report, Kenny Powers? These people are children.

I see the stock is down another $2.50, which is fascinating. You retards are just surfing the tide. You’re not swimming, which is why you have weak hands. “The Fly” has hands of stone and granite. He punches Citron in the face, then steals their lemons.

Retail numbers sucked today–because Obama is the devil. The economy is good–exclusively for those making more than 250k per annum. Stocks go up because Ben Bernanke is crazy and makes them go higher.

GMCR is ripping this morning, making a laughing stock of David Einhorn’s short position. Between GMCR and CMG, he’s been exactly wrong on the direction of two momentum stocks and should probably refrain from doing so in the future.

I like solar, dry bulk and sapphire on silicon. I also think Eddie LampBERT (sp?) is a goddamn idiot and should step away from SHLD.