I DID WARN YOU NOT TO GET HOOKED…YOU MIGHT BE HOOKED

What a day. All dicks aside, I feel sorry for anyone trying to figure out near term direction of this tape, myself included. I have so much god damned experience and an innate sixth sense that helps me navigate these tapes, I can only image how ordinary folk are feeling now.

I can tell you this with absolute certainty.

This isn’t an ordinary sell off and the market is trying to communicate something.

What is it trying to tell us? No way of knowing now, until after the fact.

I will say, we’re oversold and people really want stocks to recover. The President wants stocks to recover. The Fed doesn’t give a shit.

In the big scheme of things, this is a significant move in standard deviation in the broader indices, perhaps the most since 2011.

With regards to my inverse ETFs, I’ll hold them another day or two. Best case scenario, we fucking crash thru the floor boards on Monday and I’m able to walk away like a true boss with immense profits in tow. But life doesn’t always work out so smoothly.

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I cannot get a break today. First the fucking cabinet fell atop my head as I attempted to fix it. Now, as I am away on a mission of grandeur, a leisurely Friday afternoon with markets clown punching lower, markets motherfucking bottomed and melted the fuck higher.

Here I am festooned with inverse ETFs. I even delved into the FAZmobile like a true pavement ape. God knows I don’t need additional stress in my life, so listen to me now you fucking cock-head stock Gods.

Make the market go lower now, and fast. Fuck you and your rallies, the perpetual melt ups that come from nowhere, gapping higher as idiots circle jerk to your perverse depravities.

GAP IT LOWER NOW and fix my God damned cabinet while you’re at it.

No, I will not sell any of my inverse ETFs — because we’re barreling towards the lows again, and more.

It appears the MAGA bomber has been captured and all of this ‘bomb stuff’ is fast behind us. How about blowing up the market now? Would that really be too much to ask?

Fuck you and your rallies — down the sewer pipe we go.

A great man once said, “it’s not enough that I win, see, you must lose.”

The purblind will be dragged accordingly into the meat grinder and fed to the pigs. Said pigs will get fat and plump and I will then slaughter them and devour them whole.

That’s the circle of life, folks.

Markets are in fucking BROKEN ELEVATOR plunge mode. You cannot stop the selling. It’s impossible.

Now I’m looking for a banking crisis, something to really shake up the system and give Trump a stroke.

I’m short the banks, by way of FAZ. I bought this shit into the hole because the hole is deep and getting deeper by the second. Very soon, we will be reaching the inner core of the earth and the molten lava will melt your fucking faces off.

As I’ve outlined here many times, the more pain and agony I feel at home, whether it be thru broken appliances or sudden cracks in every ceiling of my house — that hardship is often matched by extreme winship in the market. I’m a firm believer in cosmic radiance and how good offsets the bad, and vice versa.

Be me.

Wake up at 6:30am sharp. No need to press snooze, because you’re excited to awaken, as you’ve got some inverse ETFs to profit from. Wake up 13yr old son, say hello to 15 yr old daughter, barrel downstairs and drink some water. Drive kids to school, get a few chuckles on the way back listening to Howard Stern, park car and go back into the house.

Say hello to dogs, let them in the yard, slam door shut.

Tell Alexa to “play WQXR fm, tune in radio” — quietly listen to Bach, eagerly watching S&P futures melt the fuck lower.

Go to kitchen and place a kettle of water to boil for coffee., and a pot of water for eggs. Grind beans, smells delicious. Now Beethoven is playing in the background. Visit pantry and take out French bread that you bought from Costco and sheave off a healthy slice. Place in panini press.

Drop 3 eggs in boiling water and tell Alexa “set timer for 6 minutes” because anything more or less than 6 minutes is imperfection. We cannot have any of that.

Pour boiling water in French Press and set timer for 4 minutes to steep. Pour milk in frother and and begin heating milk for coffee.

Notice cabinet is leaning a little and won’t close. Investigate further.

Grab screwdriver and blindly poke around and unscrew a bolt here, tighten one there. Cabinet door worsens.

Bread in panini press smells delicious, really heating up now.

Escalate my attempt to repair cabinet by taking out drill. Unscrews everything, removes cabinet, pretends to have an idea what I’m doing.

Eggs are ready, drop in bowl of cold water. Coffee is ready too — plunge press into ground beans. Milk is ready too.

Proceed to fix cabinet, annoyed by inability to fit bracket correctly. Cabinet nearly falls on my head.

Twenty one year old son comes down, takes 2 of my eggs and bread — eats breakfast. Pours himself a cup of coffee too.

Escalates repair further by taking out step ladder to get a better angle at now knowing what I’m doing.

Ah, got it. Attempts to close cabinet, but it swings right back open, much worse than before.

Takes drill and removes bracket, screw drops in between oven and counter, attempts to grab it, cabinet falls on my head.

Now irate, seeing red. Attempts to fix cabinet 20 times in a row and each time it gets worse. Removes fucking cabinet and tosses drill into the fucking laundry room sink, saying “fuck it.”

Grabs cold egg and slice of cold white bread. Pours self cup of coffee with milk — but it overflows and milk spills onto floor. Bites into egg and yolk drips on pants, coffee spills on shirt.

SITS DOWN TO WRITE A FUCKING BLOG ABOUT ORDEAL. CATASTROPHE.

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I told you so.

It’s over, faggots. The market is French toast, a surrender version of ordinary toast.

Me looking at $AMZN in the AHs, cc: @shonkori pic.twitter.com/hQzT3MwyJ4

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) October 25, 2018

I will have you know, effervescently, AMZN, GOOGL, and SNAP are all sharply lower. You took a fucking haircut, mate. Deal with it.

TRADERS BEFORE $AMZN, $GOOGL EARNINGS AND AFTER pic.twitter.com/rhx0OsYO2O

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) October 25, 2018

I’m happy I kept my shorts. But I kept them because I knew better. I knew better because I was born smart. I was born smart because I derive from ancient lineage of artists and shamans.

Fly wins again.

See you fucked faces tomorrow. Off to cook some steaks.

Enough of the mealy mouthed having it both ways horseshit. Here’s what I really think is going to happen.

Markets cannot V shape recover out of this hole. Today’s melt up cannot and will not continue into tomorrow. If you’re betting on that, you’ll be raped first thing tomorrow morning.

Back in Feb, we had a similar spate of weakness. A giant down day was followed by big up day and then inside of 1 week…we melted the fuck lower again.

Everything is beautiful about today. I have zero problems with the structure of the rally. But that’s the nature of a circle jerk. End up trading to and fro too many times and end up in the fucking grind house with your bones on fire.

Do you know why you feel fucked up right now?

It’s because you’re trading your entire account. Quit doing that, else I’ll come over there and slap the shit out of you. Take 25% of your money and trade it — the rest leave for long term cap gains. Or, like me, put that fucker into a Quant strategy.

I ate some tuna fish on toast today, two cups of coffee, and I brushed my teeth 9 times. I’m +3.5% on my quant and getting drilled on my inverses in my trading; but 75% of the account is cash. I should’ve sold the inverses this morning — after I had a suspicion we’d have a slow boil up type of day. We’re likely to close at the highs and everyone will go home feeling good. During supper, your wives will ask how your day went and you’ll say “just fine, dear, thanks. Please pass the gravy.”

You’ll go to sleep feeling euphoric and then wake up in the morning to a fucking nightmare, S&P futures sharply lower and everyone you know will be hanging out from windows in an attempt to collect life insurance post mortem.

GOOD DAY.

How is your day going? Good I hope.

I have a metric that I’m watching to determine if there’s underlying strength or weakness in the tape. I only care about tech, because it’s the best, and has been hit the hardest. On my momentum screen in Exodus, there are 49 names now. Overall breadth is in the order of 83%, a fine showing and I wouldn’t worry too much about this afternoon fade, since it’s a meaningless time of day.

The slow boil from this morning culminated and poleaxed anyone who faded the open.

My momo screen is simple: find stocks up more than 2% for the session, within 1% of session highs. That’s it. Perfect and it works.

Here’s the problem with today.

The rally isn’t to be trust, since we almost died yesterday. Anyone short is waiting for the next shoe to drop. Anyone long is suspect of tomorrow. This is normal and I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow was a do nothing Friday.

Not to sounding like a hedging fucking faggot who’s always right and thumbing his nose at everyone, but this is the reason why my quant account has 75% of my investable income and is 100% long and doesn’t adjust intra-month. I review the account on the first day of each month and adjust then.

My trading account is losing money today, but it’s 75% cash, so I’m mostly walking around in a robe with my balls swinging around.

Look for a sharp move to the upside at 3pm for confirmation of today’s rally.

I think tech needs to dominate in order to truly bottom. What we’re seeing today might be a head fake, sucking fuckers in like Noo-Noo from the Teletubbies, only to later on rake them over the coals and crush them.

Breadth in tech is 73%, impressive, but not so much.

A look at tech today, up 0.6%.

What we want to see is a slow boil and then a fucking explosion of perversion — bulls running naked thru the streets having a grande old time. You can either bottom that way, slow boil, rounding bottom, or V shape — which is often paired with a news event.

For example: if Trump said he was going to sit down with the ABSOLUTE FUCKHEADS in China about trade. That would cause a 1 thousand point rally.

Either way, up is good — but do not be fooled by the gyrations. I have a slew of inverse ETFs now, all up from my basis, but lower today. I have to decide whether or not to hold them or go to cash. I don’t believe I’ll buy into this tape today, as I’d prefer to see some follow thru first.

Bottom line: it’s a nice 2% rally in leading sectors and well structured portfolios today. My Quant is up 200bps, because it’s well structured. But, one day doesn’t make a trend — FUCKED FACE — so quit trying to time the bottom.

It looks like we’re getting a nice bounce today, in spite of horrible earnings at AMD. Nasdaq futures are +100, Dow +178. WTI is slightly higher and the general mood this morning is one of tentative confidence in the idea that maybe, just maybe, yesterday’s bloodbath was enough to call it a bottom.

Naturally, I find myself Gartman’d in a variety of triple inverse ETFs; but I’ll be just fine. I’m mostly cash and my bigger dilemma is whether or not to chase the rally, fade the rally, or simply sit here and do nothing at all. When markets cascade lower, it tends to make everyone bearish, even the last bull. In this case, the last bull might’ve been me. Often times the last bull goes short, markets reverses higher, and then said bull is stuck with a bunch of shorts and soon becomes emotionally invested in retardation.

Be sure to avoid getting emotionally attached to a trade.

I’ll treat the inverses like any other trade, adhering to stop losses.

Is it possible the market will whipsaw higher, suck in a bunch of faggots, and then whipsaw lower again?

Yes, which is what makes bad tapes so dangerous.

If you’re conflicted, like me, it’s probably best to ride it out with a lot of cash and buy back when the higher probability trades present themselves, after the squall ends. Trying to catch the pivot point is hard and if you messed up a few times, that might lead to psychological fuckery that will certainly lead to big ass fucking losses in your 4 figure portfolios.