GET OUT THERE AND FIGHT YOU NO GOOD ROTTEN PUNK

Some of you are so mentally deranged, you attempt to post comments each and every day, despite being banned from doing so, as if you were talking to yourselves. I see your comments in the moderation pile and I urinate on them, as I chew on beefed jerky. I am ever so sorry to disappoint you, but I saw this decline coming. I know it pains you to know and see that I’ve been 50% cash for more than a week, with GG being my top holding. Don’t worry, fucked face, I am sure I will make a few errors upon my reentry into the markets.

At the bell, I sold out of my GG position, putting my cash position at recent record highs. Despite my belief that the market will turn up soon, I erred on the side of caution, after seeing the market cascade lower into the bell. I still have one gold stock, EGO, which I intend to hold a little bit longer.

All of my other positions were castrated, like yours. It was an awful day and a sad day for those drinking NASDAQIRIS. I have a mind for this sort of tape and it takes a lot of patience and quick wits to catch an inflection point.

It was a 90% down day, indicative of margin selling, panic and despair.

Given all of the news, is it possible we are entering a new bear market?

Sure, why not?

But nothing goes up in a line, nor down. Recall how the oil stocks bounced off the concrete earlier this year, luring a fresh set of canaille into their shares. I believe, at a minimum, we are overdue for an oversold bounce. If you believe the market dynamics have changed and the economic conditions dictate that stocks should trade lower over the foreseeable future, sell short or liquidate after the coming bounce.

Ideally, we gap lower tomorrow morning and reverse higher into the bell. That would set up for a pleasant afternoon and sublime change of pace into the weekend. I’ll post more later on tonight, after I had time to fully absurd todays fuckery.

Ladies and gents, Rome wasn’t burned down overnight. It took the savage animals generations to fulfill their dastardly plans, supplanting civilized government with horseshit.

Today we have centaurs living next to live volcanos, in jungled areas of Hawaii, tweeting messages of panic.

Listen to me: the selling climax will pass soon and in its place will be Hansel and Gretchen styled greed. Measure yourselves and be greedy when others panic and panic when others are greedy.

According to the untenable laws of mathematics, this market is going to bottom out soon, catapulting the centaurs into mine fields laden with “Bouncin’ Bettys.”

Get your buy lists ready for deployment.

SHOMP

Big jowled, florid faced, men have been emailing me all morning, pondering about my disappearance during this market rout (heavy emphasis on R). The way I see it, it’s preferable, for me, to avoid the situation all together, and opt for sandwiches or beverages. This stuff is a drag. Even though my largest position is up (GG) and I am in the enviable position of having 50% of my assets in cash, I do not like to make up lost ground.

The amount of damage done to my poor NASDAQS is significant and it saddens me to tell you this, but 110 NASDAQS are missing from the national treasury today.

I suppose we could pretend this condition is transitory and that all will be well. But what fun would that be, after all?

Gentlemen, the end is now. Your trading is churning what little net worth you have left into clown-dust. You might as well take whatever money you have left and travel to Florida, bake in the sun and prepare to be swept away by seasonal hurricanes.

Perhaps you could live out the rest of your lives in a bohemian lifestyle. Why, even Einstein was known to enjoy the splendour of a simple house with very little possessions, other than his books and pipe.

The halcyon days of 2013 aren’t going to return. Fall back on your memories, for they are rich with good times– when men could smoke cigars and drink scotch, uninterrupted by missing NASDAQS. Back then, there wasn’t stilted margin clerks plaguing us to “raise cash or sell out”. Things were simpler then, significantly grander.

The Bank of Better Times has evaporated and in its place is a fucked up Chinese tea house, whose floor is strewn with bankrupted cantonese farmers and Greek catamites.

Nothing is more important than the condition of the oil and gas sector now. As per Exodus,  this is where our predictive algos place the sector.

It can go lower.

Bear in mind, the sector is beyond simple supply and demand action now. We are entering the solvency phase of this cycle and many companies will be squeezed into receivership, which is why I’m staying away from the sector.

On the plus side of commodities is gold. You’re likely busy being harangued by losses now; but this has been my best call of 2015: long gold into August at a time when the market sucked balls.

I faired okay today, down about 0.2%, buoyed by GG, CYBR and 50% cash. I am looking to position into some SHAK leaps on another leg lower. Aside from that, I have no sense of urgency to step into stocks yet. The horizon is black and the margin clerks are gearing up to liquidate your accounts at zero, very soon.

“The Fly” will be buying the blood, as always.

For over a week, I’ve told you to get long gold and to raise cash. With my own money, I am in a 50% cash position and my largest holding is GG. The play here, for me, is to time the next inflection point with sublime mathematical precision, allocate all resources, and drive rail spikes into the thick skulls of volcano men. So don’t fucking come here, in search for Le Fly distraught, strung out by his bullish caprices. I will fucking massacre you!

This is an 80% down day and only a handful of stocks are up. The only sector that is up is gold (you’re fucking welcome). Moreover, the only gold stock that is down because of Greece is EGO (buttfuckers).

BEHOLD in the glory of the superfluities of Americana. They, the Americans, cannot help themselves but to exaggerate moves, both bearish and bullish. Born actors, tradesmen, frontier men, the American will lament over microscopic problems and hallucinate during times of moderate success. He will burn cigarette holes into his furniture and burn down his entire house, drunk and strung out, depressed over a temporary loss of capital. In the past, this American would thrust himself from rooftops, as an antidote for loss of capital. Now he takes heavy doses of psychotropics and fires off shells into crowded movie theaters.

I beam with pride and overjoyous feelings of jubilation when I think about my fortune, being born into this Americana.

If I’m being honest with myself, I’d have to admit that the market has been in a bifurcated bear market since early 2014. Remember the old ‘bubble basket’ ordeal and how 100+ high growth stocks got taken down by a mere 50%+ last year? Or how about the total and complete destruction of the commodity sector this year?  Do we even need to talk about retail, shopping mall stocks, or global growth industrials? Anything related to BRIC is death. I bought a little EGO, to hide in gold, and that motherfucker is down 10% today because one of their Greek mines were shut down by that bastard government.

So what has worked?

Biotech, other healthcare related names, cyber security?

That’s fantastic. Get long the pre-revenue biotechs and companies who police the internet for criminals. This is what our investment world has been reduced to. No longer are we able to buy MSFT, DELL or even GOOG early stage. By the time XYZ is worth a lick, fucking Fred Wilson is doing another round for his private Venture Capital investors and then bringing it public at 100x sales. The only shot we have at outsized returns is buying distressed stocks, derivatives or pre-revenue biotech–hoping for an FDA approval.

Let me repeat that again, so it sinks in.

The only shot we have at outsized returns is buying distressed stocks, derivatives or pre-revenue biotech–hoping for an FDA approval.

As per the title of this post, I think it’s abundantly clear that a super strong US dollar, accompanied by a macro-slowdown in global growth, isn’t exactly what American companies need right now. As such, Janet Yellen would be remiss not to see these early warning signs of wear on this market and the overall integrity of the US economy. Moreover, and I write this with emphatic intentions, if the Federal Reserve raises rates now, as worldwide growth recoils from the commodity collapse aftershocks and Chinese implosion, Janet Yellen and her cohorts are nothing less than first class morons.

Gather around gents and bear witness to the circle jerk. Before you come to partake, please place your brokerage accounts into the flaming barrels of garbage on the side, right next to the heroin needles.

In my previous post I said to “build positions”, which is always a good idea when markets are soft. But what I didn’t elaborate on is the speed in which I think you should do so.

I haven’t purchased anything today. I am more of a “buy the momo” type of person and I rarely catch falling knives. But when I do catch knives, I like to do it slowly, moderate myself to avoid large fuck ups. Today’s decline negates yesterday’s and places us back into the ‘fag-box‘, beholden to Chinese fuckery, who saw their “index” drop by 6% last night.

I wish this was enjoyable; but it isn’t. Watching a market destroy itself in a slow drift lower is always a drag. I’d rather be doing anything but this, literally. Part of me thinks I should be adding to positions today. But then I get visions of large gaps lower and recall the gut wrenching feeling of being “Four Horsemen’d” to death (see last year’s March debacle). So, instead of being brave and true to my mantra, I am opting for a safer route, one hidden and tucked away in cash. I envision myself pouncing on the tape just before it takes off. I will then bathe in $100 bills and light fire to them, nonchalantly, upon my exit.

Banks and gold seem okay today. Risk appetite is definitely non-existent and we need to wade through the final days of summer in order to get a decisive move in either direction.

So what am I saying, exactly?

I haven’t a clue. The market is seemingly rudderless and the only trade that has worked with any consistency is long gold. So, for now, I will keep GG as my largest holding, perhaps add to EGO on weakness, and maybe buy more ONCE if risk appetite makes a reappearance.

Do not think for a second that this lull in activity has made me soft. I will ban you, just as I’ve banned the 3,000+ catamites who’ve come before you.

This is a drawdown market, with sectors trending in and out of favor, totally devoid of reason and honor. Today’s flavor are homebuilders and construction names. Go ahead and delve right in, I am sure nothing horrific will befall you over the next 30 days.

Yesterday’s flavor was biotech. Today they’ve been tossed idly into sewer pipes.

There is nothing redeemable about right now, other than opportunity to build positions, do research, and unwind amidst summertime debauchery.

Just like gold was for August and none of you morons followed suit, hamburgers are for September. Do you have the internal fortitude to step in, pal?

For me, buying SHAK at 15x sales is the equivalent to throwing bags of dollars into a flaming barrel of garbage. Therefore,  I am going to do exactly that.

I’ve come to grips with the fact that fighting valuation is sort of like an old man fighting the kerosene lamp, then electric, then the automobile, then the VCR and now SHAK at 15x sales.  Instead of fighting it, I will soon join the fray, delighted by the absurdity, bathing in the perverse nature of speculation.

My plan will be to buy SHAK every month for 12, sort of like my plan that went astray in HABT, only this time I will up the ante will call options.

Am I mad?

Positively.

Is the market a fun place to invest in these days?

No.

Will it come back to the grandeur we’ve once admired from afar, as small lads running about the prairies as the men from town bet on XYZ will all of the family fortune?

Never.

You’ll need to navigate the rocky waters and dodge harrowing and murderous roadblocks, in order to achieve success. I’ve deliberately reserved a GREAT WHORISH CASH horde for exactly this occasion. Why don’t you join me in this journey to greatness and quit playing about the Twitter all day like submental gobshites?

This screen that I created in Exodus, pretty much tells it all.

The criteria is as follows.

The stock must be up over 20% YTD. +30% over the past year, and over 50% over the past two years. Market cap must be in excess of $1 billion and the average daily trading volume must be over 500k. In total, 160 stocks met this criteria, with the vast majority being black box, shrouded in black smoke, biotechs. Here are some non-biotech winners.

FL

CRM

DATA

MSCI

SEIC

WETF

FCAU

ORLY

MNST

STZ