iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,471 Blog Posts

Bad News Could Wait

Big jowled, florid faced, men have been emailing me all morning, pondering about my disappearance during this market rout (heavy emphasis on R). The way I see it, it’s preferable, for me, to avoid the situation all together, and opt for sandwiches or beverages. This stuff is a drag. Even though my largest position is up (GG) and I am in the enviable position of having 50% of my assets in cash, I do not like to make up lost ground.

The amount of damage done to my poor NASDAQS is significant and it saddens me to tell you this, but 110 NASDAQS are missing from the national treasury today.

I suppose we could pretend this condition is transitory and that all will be well. But what fun would that be, after all?

Gentlemen, the end is now. Your trading is churning what little net worth you have left into clown-dust. You might as well take whatever money you have left and travel to Florida, bake in the sun and prepare to be swept away by seasonal hurricanes.

Perhaps you could live out the rest of your lives in a bohemian lifestyle. Why, even Einstein was known to enjoy the splendour of a simple house with very little possessions, other than his books and pipe.

The halcyon days of 2013 aren’t going to return. Fall back on your memories, for they are rich with good times– when men could smoke cigars and drink scotch, uninterrupted by missing NASDAQS. Back then, there wasn’t stilted margin clerks plaguing us to “raise cash or sell out”. Things were simpler then, significantly grander.

The Bank of Better Times has evaporated and in its place is a fucked up Chinese tea house, whose floor is strewn with bankrupted cantonese farmers and Greek catamites.

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10 comments

  1. Marc David

    Well at least meundies are fitting snug tight so I’m riding this downturn in style!

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  2. vandamme

    ATHs by Pagan Xmas. You know it, and I know it.

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  3. matt_bear

    i spent most of 2009 waiting for that one more next leg down after the march low. i wonder if i’m making a similar mistake waiting for this to reverse and the epic run to continue.

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  4. og

    Here I was thinking I was safe hiding in NFLX.

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  5. longview

    Very often I think you go overboard in your commentary but I must salute that last word image:

    a fucked up Chinese tea house, whose floor is strewn with bankrupted cantonese farmers and Greek catamites

    PS enjoy your sandwich

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  6. tradercaddy

    This looks a bit like Aug. 1987 when there were some doozy down days (100 pt. losses) after a huge multi year bull run.
    I recall walking out of a client meeting in Gainesville and decided to sell it all on the way to the car (found a pay phone) and reentered the market Oct. 19, 1987 (the birth of the PPT- very scared when I did so).

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  7. natehois

    Your tone comes off very “too-old-for-this-shit-y” Must be a short-term bottom.

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  8. 99 lead balloons
    99 lead balloons

    Good call on gold. Bought EDV and doing very well. Liquidated everything else a few weeks back. How do you feel about dollar stores?

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  9. UncleBuccs

    You know I’m not a Sinatra nut-hugger, but the song selection is very on point. Well done.

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