Tranquility

Normally I am ready to do battle, every single day. I man my trebuchet and lob incindiery devices into enemy encampments. But today I am a bit tired, something to do with getting a little less than 3 hours sleep. I saw the futures before I decided to nap and they were down 14. Then when I woke up they were down 10. The stupid jobs numbers came out and they went green. The market opened down, ever so slightly. And now, post ISM numbers, the market is green.

This is too much fucking drama.

I want to live in a sucker free world, a place where markets only go higher and money is printed for the benefit of a select few who are wise enough to invest in the stock market. The whack-a-mole aspect to this retarded industry, eventually, causes massive heart attacks.

Look, can’t you people just go to the homosexual opera and leave me alone? Most of my stocks are up right now. The weekend is just around the corner. The weather is perfect and I have things to do. I don’t enjoy having to do scold you like this–but something has to change. You can’t keep bouncing around the office like that, in search for short positions. You’re gonna get yourself killed.

“The Fly” is all about zen and how it pertains to a non-violent work environment. Let us see the market higher today without any back and forth, small skirmishes that prove nothing, sort of like the south seceding from the union–only to get their asses and cities burned to a cinder later.

I am in a very gregarious mood. I just had dinner at my favorite fish eatery in Princeton. The boys from iBC are en route to NYC as we speak for our annual meeting. And, to top it off, The PPT is flashing OVERSOLD–once again. I am telling you this, despite you being a mere internet leech, a leper of sorts, because I am a very generous man. Just this week, you have received a free rare gift from After Hours with Option Addict and now you get to BEHOLD! a live PPT OVERSOLD signal, which flagged throughout the trading session.

Over the past 12 months the stats read like a Rocky Marciano headline, 0 losses out of 10 contests.

What does it all mean?

Flawless victory awaits.

Over the past 36 months, the signal has a 86% track record, 24 wins– and just 4 losses (extra Dwight Gooden). It is a supreme engine of winship, a tool that none of you deserve. But let’s be friends, shall we? Embrace yet another gift from atop the capstone of iBankCoin and bear witness to face rippage as early as tomorrow–and assuredly by mid-next week.

SHOMP

Panic hit Wall Street today, as more sellers than buyers showed up for work, with the NASDAQ leading the way lower by 2.0%. Virtually everyone was an extreme loser today, with over 500 stocks down by more than 4%.  Some of the larger losers that stood out were HGG (-16%), AVG (-13%), MTW (-13%) and of course Janet Yellen’s favorite short position YELP fell by 11%.

Most of the people who were buying stocks yesterday sold them today. There wasn’t any grande piece of news, per se. The sell off can be summed up best by a financial blogger called “The Fly” or “Le Fly”, as he’s popularly known in France, saying “The market is the sum total of jackasses divided by assholes for the benefit of jerk offs. I spent my time wisely today, eating corned beef sandwiches and plotting the downfalls of my evil enemies. I’d advise you to do the same, if you knew what was good for you.”

Top picks: Long The PPT Oversold signal, 12631 and After Hours with Option Addict.

Amen.

The market will bounce within a day or two, maybe three. Typically on 90% down days, I like to get out there and drink the blood. Like Dracula, I relish in any opportunity to drain the guy bouncing off his walls, getting his face ripped off in his margin account. However, I am not buying today because the dollars that I earmarked for the market are dated.

I will hold this cash, no matter what, until after Labour day. I am a strong believer in seasonal trends and the market always tends to nonplus us during September and October.  Also, it’s worth mentioning, I believe we are traveling the road of 2000. This being the last day of July, I am not discouraged by my prophecies of ‘extreme lunatic grandeur’ for the month of August. Ideally, this is the dip you should all be buying, right in the faces of Ukraine, Russia, Illegal Mexicans and Palestinian refugees. Feel free to blow cigar smoke, ashes and all, into the eye glasses of Jim Chanos, to let him know that you are not scared of his stupid ideas.

There will be a reckoning. I can promise you that. But this is not it. This, my stupid co-depedent friends from the internets, is an opportunity.

The last time the breadth was this low (~11%) was on 2/3/14. Do you know what happened almost immediately after that? The market ripped higher. That doesn’t mean history is going to repeat itself. Maybe this time is different. Perhaps the market has topped for good and Ebola is coming to a movie theatre near you.

People always get pessimistic on down days. I am sure the rhetoric was mind numbing on 2/3/14, with the reader class throwing meat loaf at me and everyone rolling into their FAZmobiles. But then the market bounced and everyone lost all of their money again.

Are you going to lose all of your money again? Or, this time, will you remain stoically patient in the face of grave horrors?

I am long the market, with size. For my personal account, 25% is wrapped up in TLT, which is underperforming (for now). Rates aren’t going higher and Spain does not deserve to have lower rates than the United Steaks of America.

This is most likely a buyable dip. Naturally, timing is key. I will be watching out for oversold signals throughout the day.

The wins over at After Hours with Option Addict continues, starring 1,000% gains in X calls, as well as a more timid 350% gain in his TWTR calls. In honour of everything that is good and holy, I offer you–the reader– a rare gift of having a 1 day FREE TRIAL to his chambers.

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I started a position in VRNS.

With just one day left in July, I am pleased to announce that I’ve managed to hold onto June’s gains, despite a most egregious and unfortunate event in the shares of RUBI. We will not talk about said stock until its shares are removed from the exchange. Also, it’s worth mentioning, the very scenario that I laid out for you appears to be coming to fruition. Risk names are back in vogue. Everyone is circle jerking around TWTR, YELP and others (by the way, I went long YELP yesterday). And, TLT is crashing lower today.

Everything is great–until it isn’t.

I do not mean to scare you. I invite you to look back on August of 2000 and try to put yourself into the shoes of a younger Fly, crazily running about the boardroom with trade tickets needing to be filled. Lunch wasn’t an option, unless of course you were fine on missing out on $5-10k in commissions, which was fine on occasion.

Why did I invest a significant amount of my own money yesterday if I feel this could be another 2000?

2000 wasn’t all that bad for the overall market, just dot coms. I’ve reserved nearly 30% of my money in TLT and a short term trade, which is ZPIN. With my accounts, I am fully invested, zero TLT, and a whole lotta high beta.

I am positioned exactly as I should be, heading into an era of unmatched decadence and debauchery. The market is going to soar over the next three weeks and I want to be fully exposed (extra flasher in a trenched coat) to Mother Market and her glorious ways.

Sure the market reversed today and idiots are abound comparing Twitter to Pets.com. But does that mean that The Option addict and his band of goons have to give back their gregarious wins in X and TWTR call options? Does it mean that YELP, BCS, VNET and everything else that is holy and sanctimonious will stop working higher? You people are kidding yourselves. This is only the beginning of the end for your kind of people (no Hitler).

You’re being fooled into a false sense of insecurity. The reader class always responds last, easy to trick and certainly dumb enough to waste time.

Do yourselves a favor and stop thinking. The economy is smoking hot again. Janet Yellen is getting cremated in her social media/biotech shorts. And “The Fly” is hosting his 7th annual iBankCoin dinner this weekend. All is good, my friends.

I’m liking VNET and ZPIN here. Longer term, HCA is a dunkshot.

Who cares about Russia? Since when have they meant anything to us at all? Our companies are dependent upon China and Europe. The soviets will now begin to understand their place in the world, underserving to sit at the table of nations because they are a rogue, corrupt and tirelessly evil regime. American industry will sap the life from the Russian markets, forcing their oligarchs to beg for our treasury bonds. As such, Le Fly smartly placed 25% of his assets in TLT today.

TWTR is through the roof, higher by 25%. Wow.

My allocation is complete. Go in peace or leave in pieces.