As the Tea Party caucus in Congress sang “Amazing Grace“, mezzo-soprano, the debt ceiling was breached and the Unites States of America missed its first interest payment.
Back at the office de Fly, stocks were drowning like pigs in quicksand. Using his new powers of brute strength, “The Fly” punched a giant hole in his computer, ripped the tower from his stupid desk, and proceeded to smash it to the smallest of pieces, slowed down only by his knuckles breaking under the pressure of his thrusts.
Panic gripped Wall Street, 1929 style, with traders and investors alike sky-diving out from their office windows, sans parachute.
The news channels were very busy, very busy indeud. In the midst of all the fuss, Charles Gasparino, from the Fox Business news channel, was caught on camera masturbating to the carnage. James Cramer knocked out Bob Pisani on live teevee and David Faber broadcasted the news completely in the nude.
Dennis Kneale was killed by an errant rocking chair.
The internet was rampant with schadenfreude, spearheaded by the bitCoiners and Gold bugs. Zerohedge revealed his true identity in a live webcast in front of the NYSE, as it burned to the ground–lit aflame by angry TSLA shareholders crashing their trendy cars into the complex.
Back at the office de Fly, the masked man took to the streets to incite riot, burn people alive at the tip of his stick over flaming barrels of garbage, like marshmallows at a camp fire. The transition from gentleman investor to revolutionary cannibal was complete–all in a day.
The White House was eerily quiet, with The Obama clan, gingerly and quietly, enjoying a match of bowling, over large bowls of fried rice and chicken wings.
Rick Santelli was so happy over the ensuing tragedies, he cried on teevee, then died of a massive stroke.
By the end of the trading session, miraculously, stocks recovered all of its losses, following a surprise telecast from Benjamin Bernanke.
In a dimly lit room, sitting with his legs crossed in a Victorian era chair, whilst smoking a large philly blunt brimming with Jamaican marijuna, Dr. Bernanke said: “I got you bitches again. I bought that shit, motherfuckers, all of it.”
If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter
Epic post.
5 Stars!
RIP Rick Santelli
RIP Rick Santelli
Hahaha
http://ibankcoin.com/hattery/2013/10/16/the-story-of-default-and-gloerb-from-planet-zilcweryyyyuiton/
Fly has more self control than Gustavo Fringe. That is the only part of this story I disagree with.
I am a buyer of fear because it feels nothing like 2008. Locked in at 3.6 percent I love rising interest rates much like the drug fiend loves the needle. Your written word surpasses the stock picks and leaves the reader coming back for more. Cheers.
Oh hell yeah.
+1000 innernets and IBC AK-47s.
LOL. I got U Bitchez…this will be my remember acne of this whole era, which we will fondly remember as our salad days…after Yellen the Destroyer of Worlds takes over – the party ends. You know its coming…
*rememberance* LOL.
Gee, some of your best work, issued just before bedtime….
I think I’ll sleep in tomorrow.
what about Gartman
Something landed on his head, instead of his foot.
And in other news:
Jake “the Senator” started shorting the gold stocks,
The Trading Nymph turned bullish,
The Frog became a Libertarian demanding 0bama be impeached and,
Steve The Neighbor was named the new priest at St. Paul Roman Catholic Church in Princeton, NJ.
An update post is required. Krull interviewing Asians by the bull discussing the blue suit and bow tie
Fried rice and chicken wings? And large bowls?
Future Headline: The 0 gives in, the individual mandate is delayed a year. Market goes apeshit to the upside. Press goes back to witch hunt against tea baggers.
Hope and broken chains.
Dr. Fly says…
“…whilst smoking a large philly blunt brimming with Jamaican marijuna, Dr. Bernanke said: “I got you bitches again. I bought that shit, motherfuckers, all of it.”…”
=================
Oh My.
Once again the only players frothing at the bit in tv talking head land are the dems. Why? Wtf are they so scared of? Millions of plebs are screaming for 0care and taxes up the ass, right?!? This does not make sense.
Funny. Quintessential Fly.
Now the libs are freaking out about growth. This is unique. Somber looks of disapproval, what will happen to the business owner?!? The big government plebs are going full retard trying to find any façade that works. Being a pleb that does not vote let alone tea bag. This shit is hilarious. Who is in panic mode? Looks like the left.
Brilliant
The second paragraph of this piece may be the best contribution to literature in the last 50 years, but really, the whole damn thing is magical.
I particularly enjoy how the good Dr’s quote was not altered for the sake of the eyes of women and children.
I’m glad these tales from the time machine don’t come around too often for they are a special treat for us here in cabin class.
These politicians at this stage of the game are tossing around Russian dolls with a financial nuke inside… Completely ignorant if the severity… Like Bill Murray in the man that knew too little.
An end of days post by the Fly, and not one mention of the Orbital Space Cannon. If there was any time to break it out…
Quick, let us pray
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/15/house-republicans-amazing-grace_n_4101319.html
“When a man looks into the abyss and sees nothing but darkness he finds his character… And it is his character that prevents him from falling into the abyss”
ROFLMAO, another classic.
Today I got up, had my standard cup of freshly brewed coffee, kissed the wife, patted the dog and went to work in my made in the USA, assembled in Canada car. Tomorrow I’ll do the same regardless of what happens in the land of DC.
The world will continue to spin as the tiny specs of human life, to small to be seen from space, bicker over the last piece of dessert while the universe watches and laughs at the folly of it all.
Or it is the clam already buying. There is no abyss. Just three hours of nuclear weapon and abortion analogies.
good bedtime story well done
plaese post part two.
OK, enough of this crap. Back to work!
RBCN is where it’s at.
AAPL looking good into this iPad announcement