THE WNR STANDS TALL IN A SEA OF PERVERSION

Fucking Europe is messing with my mojo again. The Chief economist of the ECB resigns and world markets plunge? Pardon me, but that guy was a fucktard and a hawk. Stark is out and someone with gorilla cocaine in his pocket will be in. This is not a reason to sell stocks. But then again, you fuckers sell stocks when someone sneezes sideways.

My options are getting battle axed to the head. However, my WNR is standing tall, despite deviants trying to chop it down. At the present, WNR represents 30% of my holdings and I intend to bash the fucking brains in of those who are betting against me. Believe me, it’s not paranoia when people are really out to get you.

The bottom line: today’s sell off is fraudulent. It is based around lies, purported by people wearing burlap hoodies and florescent green pants made from velcro.

Shares of OPEN plunged today on news that GOOG bought Zagat. Okay, let’s think about this for a second. Zagat makes their money through selling high brow reviews of restaurants. Often times, they annihilate eateries with scathing reviews. Now they want to get into the reservation business!? Pardon me, but they have a serious conflict of interest and cannot be taken as a serious competitor to OPEN, with GOOG or not.  How the fuck are they going to offer reservations to shitholes they pan? They would take payment from restaurants, and in return, their “analysts” would give rave reviews for client accounts just like S&P did during the housing bubble. There is no way Zagat moves in on Opentable’s territory. They are embedded as an industry leader and no one gives a fuck about Urbanspoon either.

Back to Zagat. As far as I am concerned, they’ve been irrelevant for three years now, ever since Yelp entered the market. Why would I want to read the review of just one asshole from Zagat, when I could read 100’s from regular people, without agendas, on Yelp for free?

Google is the new Microsoft, making all sorts of fucked up decisions. They are Johnny come lately to nearly every new business initiative and should stick to what they do best, search. Android is their X-Box and they should get ahead of the curve by issuing a large divided. Within two years, growth at GOOG will stagger and the share price will lag.

Whether OPEN is a buy here is anyone’s guess. It is certainly intriguing at these levels. However, I’d like to see some share price stability first.

Here is the train disaster better known as Obama’s jobs speech.

I have never heard Obama sound so fucking canned, ever. This speech was right off the teleprompter. Not one word came from his heart, which is why no one respects him. He isn’t leading because he does not have it in him to inspire people to act. After seeing this piece of offal mail in tonight’s speech, I am taking back my previous promise that I’d vote for him again if  I didn’t like the GOP candidate. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFuck that. I’d rather vote for Mr. Potato Head than give this guy the keys to the White House, so his Mother in-law walk around the historic mansion in her fucking pajamas, for another 4 years.

The speech was a bust. The world is stupid. Our only hope is Rick Ross’s beard right now. Nothing more. Nothing less.

UPDATE: Here is the speech.

We gave back about half of yesterday’s gains, coinciding with my daily performance. I have some exposure here, with 70% of my book long, 30% cash. The reversal was sharp, following my “GET ON THE FUCKING MAGIC CARPET” post. Obviously, investors, worldwide, saw that as the tipping point that caused a domino, a cascade of sorts, type of selling.

Bob Pisani is downplaying today’s sell off as “nothing more than a jog in the sewer.” However, I think today sucked dick.

Should 0bama propose a large ($400billy) stimulus plan, the bulls will rip the faces off the bears tomorrow, in hilarious clown-like fashion. On the other hand, should he go all teleprompter on us, we’re gonna fucking crash through the floor boards, wiping out my COCAINE, RICK ROSS, GORILLA account inside of 15 minutes.

Nevertheless, my big chips are riding WNR (no homo). Today’s 1.6% decline is nothing more than a pebble amongst crashing boulders. Let’s not get too dramatic over this situation. Instead, let’s  focus on how we can dispatch Alf to hades.

NOTE: For PPT members only, tomorrow will be the last day to get a free trial for 12631. If you’ve been on the fence, this is your last chance to get a free look. We do not give trials often and will not be doing another one for at least 6 months.

Fucking great. I am on the road and can only laugh at my idiotic “Obama to the rescue” post now. Since I posted my magic carpet shit, the market is down 150 points, in a straight line. Sometimes you get unlucky and others times you are cursed.

Nevertheless, in the big scheme of things, we still have half of yesterday’s gains intact. But, THE MARKET MUSTN’T fall much lower from here, else it’s cascade time, yet again.

We are walking a very tenuous rope and there isn’t much in the way of a “fuck you, you’re dead” sell off.

For now, I am holding, but watching closely.

You fuckers doubted “The Obama” and will now pay the price for it.  Obama, with all of his might and power, will produce 1 billion jobs tonight, ushering in a new era of prosperity and dominance for America throughout the universe. Our spaceships will crush Russian satellites for sport and laser beam their spaceships to boast,  then drop space junk on the fucking Iranians out of arrogance.

I see a lot of you lunatics talking about my WNR and how the magical number of $18 is of some importance. No it isn’t you idiots. The number 18 is no more important than the number 999. Get off the fucking crack pipe and avoid talking about my positions as if they were your own.

Remember, when you come to iBC, you better respect the things that I say, else it’s off with your mustache. I’ve been very patient with you. I even let retards (ALF) post on my blog, making all sorts of nonsensical comments, with oddball sentence structure and syntax.

Look, “The Fly” is “Rick Ross’n” is right here, with WNR, VMW, TNA sprinting higher. Sometime soon, I will book my profits and chill the fuck out, unwind under the sun, drinking bourbon neat. You shouldn’t be concerned with my reservations right now, however.

Just get on the fucking magic carpet and enjoy the ride.

Should you find yourself looking at down stocks today, do not fear anything. Obama the Zero is on his way to create more than 0 jobs, vis a vis his scripted speech tonight. The proposal of an infrastructure bank might scare Senator Gint. However,  I embrace an infrastructure bank as if it was my own. Since there are no easy fixes, I am always interested in cool/innovative bandaid solutions. Why? Because I see the world as my science experiment. I don’t give a fuck about the macro, as I am only interested in my micro.

Welcome to my micro.

Stocks will reverse and trade higher today.

Do not fear, I will not sully these grande pages with vacuous self touts. I know the small dick crowd out there feels threatened by my alpha; but that’s because they are people of low quality,  stuck in middle class hell. Hey, I’m partly human too. Just last month I reported my personal/aggressive account was down 35% for the year. I wasn’t mad about it because it was  +990%  last year. I took $100k and tossed it into a highly leveraged account, using only proprietary algorithms provided by The PPT, and turned it into a milly. Most of my losses stemmed from a fucked up ZSL trade gone awry, then a slew of option trades gone wildly fucked up.

When the market crashed in early August, my big dicked WNR position tanked so hard, I was nearing a house call on that account. Luckily, the market quickly rebounded and WNR lifted off $12 to $18 in a matter of weeks. However,  my options account got nuked, due to the short duration of my contracts. It just so happened that I was long $120k worth of short term call contracts (seeded with just $20k), just prior to the crash. Again, this is my GORILLA, RICK ROSS, COCAINE trading account, not managed.

I lost 100k of the 120k in short order and I had a good chuckle over the tragedy. That’s the market and there is never a reason to whine about losership. With WNR and DECK rebounding, I decided to try my hand at options again, this time with a little more cocaine.

On 8/18, I bought the dip on DECK, loading the fuck up on contracts, buying the 77.5 calls at $5.20 and selling them at $10.5 on 8/29. I was back, at least in my options account. With the proceeds ($20k), I bought very little CXO calls for a small win, $3.00 to $3.30. Then I took a break, opting to fuck around with VHC, IPGP and more WNR. I did that and won with style and absoluteness.

Then on 8/30, The PPT was SCREAMING OVERBOUGHT, so I said fuck it and dropped it all ($23k) into TZA calls, positioning in the Sept 40 calls with a cost basis of $4.10. Fast forward a few fucked up days in the market and I sold them yesterday for north of  $10. Now my options account is fucking with $56,000.

Yesterday, after having a discussion with my bathroom urinal shadow (think Mr. Grady from The Shining), I dropped it all into TNA calls, varying in durartion, but mostly Sept 40’s, cost basis of around $3.50 on the 40’s. The market broke the fuck out today, sending the 40’s, $41’s, $42’s and $43’s ripping. Now that bullshit 10k account is worth $105,000.

I’m not done.

Mid-day, I bought $10k worth of VMW Sept 90’s, for about $3.2ish. I’m up 31% on them since this morning. Finally, I doubled my TBT position today for clients, but increased my options position in my personal 3x. Right now I am long the Sept 24 calls, not really giving a fuck about the outcome, having just $15,000 invested.

So, at the end of the day, this account closed at a tad over $108,000, seeded with $10k on 8/18, a return of 1,080%—ROFL. I am still long the Sept TNA calls, TBT, VMW and a shitload of WNR common.

How’s that for crazy?

NOTE: The GORILLA, RICK ROSS, COCAINE account is now breakeven for the year.

I know some of you are doing well, others not so much. When I was starting out, I’d hate guys like “The Fly” who always seemed to have an edge, a fucking unicorn with horseshoes up his ass. What you are witnessing here, day in and day out, is over 15 years of market experience, real hard effort handed down by the market Gods, translated into market mastery. I never fucked around with time and I never ever waste it. There are somethings you can learn, other things you need to experience for yourself. There is nothing like being baptized with fire to help you understand that shit is hot.

iBankCoin attracts a  younger demographic,  partly due to my policy to ban anyone older than 47.5, and also due to my unique style and choice selection of vocabulary. With youth comes arrogance and outright ignorance. Let it be known, if you are under 25 years old, you literally know nothing. You might be brilliant; but you haven’t lived. Believe it or not, I am not trying to besmirch you fucking children, but teach you what you need to be taught.

Do not let this market discourage you. People will approach you and say “hey, fuck that stock market shit. It’s for cock-goblins. Get yourself a real job.” Immediately, you should punch that person in his fucking face. Don’t let anyone get away with that sort of jargon, especially when there are space alien magicians offering magic for free on the internets.

Speaking of which, I am now +80% overnight on my TNA calls. I am not selling until The PPT registers OVERBOUGHT. In case you didn’t know, yes, it was OVERSOLD yesterday and TNA was OVERSOLD, for the first time in awhile.

Over the years, I’ve lost so much money, in so many oddball scenarios, you’d be amazed. Rarely do I get upset over lost coin. Unlike Mrs. Fly, who strokes the fuck out at the sight of a $1k loss, but has no issues spending $1k on bullshit shoes, I flick my cigar ashes at them. If you want to become a pro in this business, you need to control your fucking emotions. The most important aspect of investing is knowing your talent. If you know you suck balls, avoid going all in, since you’re a fucking idiot moron and will lose it all in one trade. Make small trades.  And if you are from down south, quit drinking moonshine at the desk you fucking hillbillies.

“The Fly” has shit to do now and doesn’t have time to play games with your kind on the internets. His stocks are sprinting the fuck higher and his allocation is now 70% long. Year to date gains are stretching today, now at new highs of +18%

I bought 10,000 VMW.

Disclaimer: If you buy VMW because of this post, Carol Bartz will be hired as new CEO of VMW. And, you may lose money.