Our republican controlled government worked together last week and Monday to pass and sign away your privacy; privacy the FCC was fighting to protect back in the days of Obama.  With zero democratic support, congressional republicans decided your internet provider can now share your web history.

Internet Providers currently say they will not sell our information – who believes this will be the truth 3 years from today? pic.twitter.com/1zY4F1Uatx

— Stop Trump ? (@StopTrump2020) April 4, 2017

The rules had not gone into effect yet.  Privacy advocates who spend less time complaining and more time acquiescing, the ones who know a bit about the internet are suggesting using a VPN to keep your broadband rulers from giving away your every query, interest, and YouTube rabbit hole to ‘advertisers’.

How to use a VPN to protect your internet privacy: https://t.co/qShHqkJdrq via @ZDNet

— Sphre (@sphreco) April 4, 2017

Verizon had a nice, corporate-speak way of saying they don’t sell you browsing history, according to Reuters:

Verizon does not sell personal web browsing histories and has no plans to do so but the company said it has two advertising programs that use “de-identified” customer browsing data, including one that uses “aggregate insights that might be useful for advertisers and other businesses.”

Ironically enough, perhaps by design, today is 1984 National Screening day across many art theaters in the United States.

You thought this would be good, having the Right, who stand on the pillar of individual freedom, control the entire US government, but the snake has turned its head toward you.  As of Monday, Trump signed away your browsing history.

$VZ $T $CMCSA BULLISH, humanity…bearish

 

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At the Intelligence and National Security Alliance leadership dinner Wednesday night, Comey told everyone he has a secret Instagram and Twitter account.

Fun fact: #FBI director James #Comey is on twitter & apparently on Instagram with nine followers. pic.twitter.com/lDIFirzVeh

— Kevin Rincon (@KevRincon) March 30, 2017

A writer at Gizmodo went to work and by the looks of it, she found Comey’s twitter account.  If you love internet sleuthing, this is a great read that leads us to FBI director Comey’s Twitter account @projectexile7.

Bravo, good show old sport!

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General Mills and other confectionery makers have been requested by formal decree to attend a three-day meeting at Amazon headquarters, according to a report from Bloomberg.  Once present, they will be flogged and ridiculed for continuing to sell their wares to the likes of Walled-Mart and Target.

It is Bezos belief, that by collectively brow-beating cookie and gum makers, he will convince them to bend to his will and sell their packaged goods directly to online shoppers.  Where did he learn such draconian tactics?

Here are some of the most interesting parts of the Bloomberg report:

“Times are changing,” Amazon says in an invitation obtained by Bloomberg. “Amazon strongly believes that supply chains designed to serve the direct-to-consumer business have the power to bring improved customer experiences and global efficiency. To achieve this requires a major shift in thinking.”

A major shift that lets Amazon middle man every sale, handling fulfillment with robots and blimps.

Amazon has been struggling to crack the food and packaged goods market—an $800 billion category still dominated by Wal-Mart and other traditional chains. Persuading brands to design their packaging and operations for the online world would make it easier for Amazon to ship common household goods to urban dwellers in less than an hour, potentially making last-minute dashes to the store obsolete.

Those urban dwelling hood rats sure do love sugar-laden cakes and soda pops.  Let’s make sure they can impulsively consume them faster and with less physical movement.

Despite the long relationships between brands and traditional stores, Amazon has leverage to convince manufacturers to rethink their operations, says Ken Cassar, an analyst at Slice Intelligence. He notes that Amazon has 300 million shoppers and can make its own products if brands aren’t willing to sell on its marketplace. “Fear, more than anything else,” Cassar says, “may compel these companies to pay attention.”

You are either with Amazon, or they will crush you with their robot empire.  Your choice, Nabisco.

Jeff Bezos has only the best intentions for the internet shopper, the lazy consumer, the button clickers sitting around their homes across the world.  If his brazen power meeting plays out in May, same-day candy deliveries will become commonplace in the household.

DIABEATUS

BULLISH

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Heavy loads of coal will soon burn again in the United States after President Trump followed through on his campaign promise to support the primitive coal industry, regardless of the impact it has on earth and its inhabitants.  On Tuesday Trump showed up the headquarters of the Environmental Protection Agency, surrounded by coal miners and executives and signed an executive order to undo Obama-era climate change regulations.

The order demands the EPA begin undoing the Clean Power Plan, a plan Obama introduced to the world in 2014 that never went live due to pressure from Republican controlled states.

Beyond the implications for global warming, Trump’s decree is a threat to public health, according to New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman who has vowed to fight the order.

“We won’t hesitate to protect those we serve — including by agressively opposing in court President Trump’s actions that ignore both the law and the critical importance of confronting the very real threat of climate change,” – NY AG Schneiderman

The Clean Power Plan was essential to the U.S. meeting its targets laid out in the 2015 Paris Climate Agreement.   Trump appears to be ignoring the advice he received earlier this year from ExxonMobile, who strongly urged the administration to keep America in the Paris climate accord.

China sees this as a misstep by the Americans, and plans to take the lead in clean energy and subsequently be the biggest hero of the Paris agreement.  The People’s Republic, a land where recycled gutter oil is used to cook street meat, intends to be more active in saving planet earth.

Nations led by China and the European Union are rallying around a global plan to slow climate change https://t.co/zpZvxxpz87

— Climate Central (@ClimateCentral) March 29, 2017

Now it may be difficult for this science to penetrate your thick skull, so let’s simplify it, shall we?

Alls I know is a pot of water boils faster when you put a lid on it…

Moving on.

Fox News had some fun with the signing of the executive order, sending a journalist out on a dingy to the Edwards generating station, a coal-fired plant to tell a sad story about $DYN getting caught holding the coal bag back in 2015.

Breaking News: President #Trump to sign exec order rolling back #Obama-era climate policies. pic.twitter.com/lfbgqSqO7M

— FOX Business (@FoxBusiness) March 28, 2017

The boater and reporter notes at the end of his segment that natural gas is much cheaper than coal, and that it also produces less unsightly smoke from the stacks.

Coal stocks are higher on the news, as you might imagine.  Top plays inside Exodus include $CNX $WLB and $AHGP.  The big loser of the group is $BTUUQ probably because, among other issues, it has way too long of a ticker symbol.

Another play on Trump destroying the world is simply the coal ETF $KOL.

Trump is doing what he promised on the campaign trail.  He is undoing all the good Obama has done to put us on a path to sustainable energy production.  The executive order signed Tuesday is likely to make coal executives rich beyond their wildest dreams, in dollar terms, regardless of the impact on their health and family.

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A group of hackers known as the ‘Turkish Crime Family’ are attempting to run an extortion scheme against Apple.  The group is demanding either $75,000 in crypto-currency (Bitcoin or Ethereum) or $100,000 worth of iTunes gift cards, according to Motherboard, the Vice Media online magazine.

If Apple does not reach into their deep pockets and pay up, the Turks are promising to delete all information, including photographs, held in 300 million iCloud and Apple accounts.

200 Million iCloud accounts will be factory reset on April 7 2017

— Turkish Crime Family (@turkcrimefamily) March 21, 2017

The factory reset eliminates all user information stored on an iPhone and, if they can do the same to the iCloud, any information like photos backed up will vanish into the ether as well.

The hackers sent screenshots of their emails with Apple to Motherboard, and Tim Cook’s team is refusing to pay the ransom so far.

Perhaps this year, April Fools day will fall on the 7th.

Developing…

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A good plot requires a believable villain, a dark force sinister but likable, who must be overcome by the good guys.  For the Washington Post and 93% of journalists, the antagonist is our democratically elected President.  Anyone who sides with Him is also evil.  They’ve been digging away at Trump, at his tax returns, his affinity for taking fast women furniture shopping, for fat golfing in white khakis…but so far they struggled to sway the silent majority into seeing the evil.  They need someone more sinister.

Enter Paul Manafort

On the surface, he has the look of a sinister mastermind—one who could only be thwarted by James Bond.  Then you go over to Wikipedia and read up on his achievements and you’re like, “Oh yeah, this guy is dark.”

Manafort is best known for his lobbying efforts on behalf of Ukrainian leader Viktor Yanukovych as well as dictators such as Ferdinand Marcos and Mobutu Sese Seko and guerrilla leader Jonas Savimbi.

…

Manafort is under active investigation by the CIA, NSA, FBI, ODNI and FinCEN.

Quite an arousing profile.  So when the National Anti-Corruption Bureau of Ukraine announced they received documents bearing Manafort’s signature and company seal, documents showing Manafort falsifying invoices to pay himself three quarters of a million dollars, journalists at the Washington Post became fully erect.  The males were rutting throughout the newsroom, driven mad by the perfect findings.

There was no time to verify the documents.  Shoot first, hedge with well-placed words, pivot as needed.  The story went out before lunch, and the NASDAQ, which was for sale all morning, accelerated to the downside—tearing through trading levels as institutional money exited first and fast.

A Ukrainian lawmaker released new financial documents Tuesday allegedly showing that a former campaign chairman for President Trump laundered payments from the party of a disgraced ex-leader of Ukraine using offshore accounts in Belize and Kyrgyzstan.

The new documents, if legitimate, stem from business ties between the Trump aide, Paul Manafort, and the party of former Ukrainian president Viktor Yanukovych, who enjoyed Moscow’s backing while he was in power. He has been in hiding in Russia…

[added emphasis on hedge words not done by Fake News outlet WaPo]

Sell the rumor sell the news.  While there are technical complications, objective events occurring in the NASDAQ auction, which serious short-term traders will attribute to Tuesday’s sell off, there are also grounds for attributing the weakness to the USA intelligence community (aka the permanent government) finally having a real chance to tie Trump to Russia.

Investors love certainty.  They are loving our very boring and predicable Federal Reserve.  They enjoy seeing Republicans have control over all three branches of the government.

They do not want to start taking Russian ties to our President seriously.  They were forced into confronting the allegations today.

The fourth estate is drinking goat blood tonight, popping corked bottled of umbillical stem cells, as they celebrate some meaty findings against the orange one and his coneys.  [They] the good guys are regaining control of the world.

A Paul Manafort money laundering narrative will stick.  Investors likely have a sense of how serious these Ukrainian documents are and decided it made sense to remove money from US markets until order is restored.  With any luck, we will all wake up Wednesday to early tweets from our President, clearing this matter up, so we can go back to making all-time highs on a daily basis.

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Just days after Bill Nye had a friendly Facebook Live chat with that nice old man Bernie Sanders, he was invited by Fox News to discuss Global Warming with their top hard ass, the uncouth Tucker Carlson.

Carlson did his best to derail the science man, but eventually was made to look like a total fool due to his lack of listening comprehension skills.  When asked to what degree humans are affecting the rate our planet is heating up, Bill Nye responds 100%.

Humans are 100% driving the rapid rate of warming on our planet and soon the majority of our population, domiciled on the scenic coasts of the world, will see their homes and families swallowed whole by oceanic tides.

When Carlson asks Nye what the world would look like if humans weren’t fossil fuel burning, cow manufacturing, ASSHOLES, Nye asserts the climate would be like it was in 1750.  Literally the best of times, with the British overlording much of the world in their red coats.

Bill Nye is blown away at one point, when Carlson demands that Bill Nye tell him, “when the next ice age would have happened without human impact,” as if that’s something any reasonable person could answer.

Then, being a wine man, no doubt a gentleman who enjoys a French Malbec, Nye uses grape growing conditions in Europe to demonstrate how rapidly our earth is changing.

Towards the end of interview, Tucker starts to squeak as he realizes he is dealing with a stone cold g, and that Bill Nye is enlightening the Fox News audience.  The Carlson melt down is a must see:

Soon the finest wines will likely grow from the tar pits of Alberta, Canada, American coasts will resemble some dystopian water land ruled by Kevin Costner, and the sun’s rays will literally melt the skin off your face.

Until then, you can count on good folks like Bill Nye to publicly eviscerate tough guys like Tucker Carlson with fact bombs to the eyeballs and groin.

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Meet the 17-year old transgender wrestler who just went 56-0, laying waste to the entire 110-pound female wrestling class in Texas:

Mack was born a girl, but after several testosterone treatments and some re-identification she is now a boy.  But, down in stubborn Texas, they made him compete against girls because that’s what the birth certificate says, which is a classic hayseed argument.

He eviscerated all the girls, naturally.

ESPN has the full scoop:

CYPRESS, Texas — A 17-year-old transgender boy completed an undefeated season Saturday by winning a controversial Texas state girls’ wrestling title in an event clouded by criticism from those who believe the testosterone he’s taking as he transitions from female to male created an unfair advantage.

The family of Mack Beggs has said he would rather be wrestling boys, but state policy calls for students to wrestle against the gender listed on their birth certificates. So Beggs, a junior from Euless Trinity, beat Chelsea Sanchez 12-2 in the 110-pound weight class to improve to 56-0 and earn the championship.

Beggs fell to his knees for a moment after the win as a mixture of cheers and boos rained down on him. He then hugged his coach and left the mat.

These sex alterations are all very bullish for Under Armour, whose compression clothing helps to eliminate breasts, and can press a stubborn penis into a nice manjina.

It’s a brave new world, and RAUL commends and congratulates the efforts and success of Mr. Beggs.

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If you only do one thing today, let it be watching that nice old man Bernie Sanders, who totally would have won the American President contest, host everyone’s favorite pop scientist Bill Nye for a conversation on Global Warming.

The fact-laden conversation goes down live, today, on Mark Zuckerberg’s devious platform, at 10:30am eastern.

If you only do two things today, let the second be to inform the biggest conservatard in your life that this live event is going to be lit (you may have to translate ‘lit’ to ‘a real sock hop’).  Perhaps it will trigger them so they can look like a dumb galoot over on Facebook.

Here’s a link to Uncle Bernie’s Facebook page, the venue for today’s free show:

https://www.facebook.com/senatorsanders/

 

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Aetna has so much cash burning a hole in their balance sheet that they decided to do something about it.  Since the company sees Obamacare death spiraling, they think it’s best to pay their investors and buy their own stock, apparently.

Aetna Reports Additional $4B Buyback

Aetna Doubles Quarterly Cash Dividend From $0.25 To $0.50/Share

The news was initially greeted with a spectacular intra-day spike higher, but much of the move in $AET was given back.

Insurance companies are minting coin on the backs of the young and healthy but investment opportunities appear limited.  Therefore, the cash is being awarded to investors–not their workers–of course.

BULLISH

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