18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,956 Blog Posts


What an iconic day. Where to begin.

I started off the day as Gordon Gekko, calling shots, not eating lunch. Then I sashayed from my gameplan and tried to get cute and belly flopped right the fuck onto the concrete. I went from +100bps to down 390bps at the session lows. Then rumors of a fund getting margin calls tanked shares of VIAC, DISCA, FOXA, AMCX, LC and about two dozen others. I stepped in based solely upon fundamentals. I don’t give a fuck what hedge fund is selling down VIAC — that fucker is off by 50% this week, presently trading 60% below it’s historical FPE and FPS.

Into the closing hour the market got onto a fucking rocket and ripped. I recovered half my losses and ended the session down just 180bps.

In the midst of all this, I switched my allocation to mostly cyclical risk averse stocks. I suspect this rage we’ve been dealing with is a financial matter, some fucking retards levered and hooked. After it passes we can have normalcy — but into the weekend I felt it necessary to reduce the boom and protect my 166% YTD returns.

Separately, my once per month managed Quant fund was +230bps, without pause or angst.

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I was a champion yesterday, somebody who called the market bottom and positioned accordingly. When I started trading today I went thru the normal habit of clearing out the account to book gains and replace said stocks with today’s stock du jour. Nothing could’ve been worse than that. I traded out my Babe Ruth rookie cards for Mookie Wilson’s. I am inexorably fucked now inside of small cap shit, albeit to a small degree. I am attempting to lessen my tragedies with new buys — but the damage has been done.

When in a situation such as this, it’s probably best to BITE THE BULLET and give up all hope of miraculous turns. Even though I have seen them 1 billion times while trading, when fucked in a situation such as this — the stock Gods frown heavily upon you with knitted brows. I will have no choice but to book the losses, scream at myself like a lunatic, and then try again.

For the session, I went from up 50bps to down 100bps.


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Markets Looked into the Abyss and Rallied

Congrats to all of those who got involved. It was a trying day, one originally spawned from hell. But by mid-afternoon that frown turned upside down and so did my prospects. I went from being a complete pussy, just long LABU (triple upside biotech) to almost completely long, left with just 22% cash.

I did so based upon the Sublime Harmony of Mathematical Precision (SHOMP) otherwise known to you as Exodus. Our oversold algorithms screamed OVERSOLD yesterday, and truthfully it never feeeeeeels good buying into that calamity. But the fear soon turns to greed and with it the shock and awe of downward spiraling stocks. I suspect, based upon my positions, we rally intensely tomorrow and cut off the heads, limbs, rip out the guts, of all those betting against the market.

Tomorrow is Friday, live free and rejoice and always remember that a bet against Le Fly is equal to burning one’s entire house down with everyone inside of it.


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Carefully Ebbing Back in For the OS Bounce

I’ve seen this shit a million times and it always ends the same, face ripping rallies or failed face ripping rallies and renewed collapse. It’s too early to tell which is which, but I have redeployed cash back into stocks, presently doing well in my LABU position.

If this rally holds thru 3:30, we should get that face ripper tomorrow.

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What Part of Black Flag Didn’t You Understand?

When flying under the black flag, enemy combatants are not to be afforded safe quarter. Surrenders or retreats are not acceptable to the attacking army and will expeditiously extinguish any semblance of the defeated enemy — cured only thru death. What we are boring witness to now in the markets, with the NASDAQ off by another 150, is the complete destruction of the Tik Tok investor cadre — the dumb bitches who believe AMC is going to $2,000 or at a bare minimum $1,000.

I look forward to seeing these people and their dead bodies strewn out across the battlefield, as I trot heavily on my horse sticking pikes into those still alive.

We are in margin call territory now and the losses can get MORE SEVERE. However dreadful, I am always reminded of the countless times the market has pulled rabbits out from its ass and therefore hold 1 position, an upside biotech ETF — because nothing says “end of days” like being levered into an ETF betting on companies of a fictitious quality one could only hope the pandemic sticks around for a little while longer in order to juice these fuckers on hope.

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I tried to warn you — but you chose to dive headlong into a field of pinless hand grenades. Listen to me and look at me, it’s really over this time. Markets might bounce tomorrow due to MUH mean reversion — but the die has been cast and Jim Biden is powerless, tripping up stairs and fumbling into hyper inflation. The good halcyon days of when Trump would tweet racist shit and chastise the Fed for being faggots are over. Replacing it is a malevolency unseen since the dark and black days of when President Obama ripped apart the Middled East, limb by limb.

Alas, I am all but a mere servant to trends and the most obedient student of the market. I did liquidate my trading this morning and I did liquidate my long term dollar cost average account, not due to greed but fear. Now is not the time to leverage one’s account and wish for happy tidings. ‘Tis an era of doom and CATACLYSM, the hangover from a really bad night out.

Into the final hours of trade, I took some long directional bets just in case, one of which is in biotech. I am keenly aware of the risk, but at 85% cash, +12% MTD, I am prepared to forgo some equanimity in exchange for risk.

Cryptos are diving lower too and the sell off there looks even more severe. I am not prepared to sell out from my gigantic ETH position just yet, but have an open mind to doing it should the malignancy worsen.

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SHIT BOUNCE — Going to Cash

I closed out my shorts and all of my trading positions and now have 100% cash. This bounce is made from shit — with breadth struggling at 55-60%. In order to truly bounce, we need some conviction, some mustard on those greens.

That being said, there are still plenty of NFT related plays popping off.

Even still, I morosely spectate this feeble market and spit on it. I hope I am wrong — but it has a CRESCENDO feel to it.

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Small Cap Rout Deepens, Bubble Stocks in Turmoil

We are now encroaching on 40% losses for a number of high beta stocks. Oil collapsed by 6.66% today and everything sporting a growth rate sold. There were small pockets of strength in NFT related names, as well as pro lock down plays like PTON and ZM. There is chatter of renewed lockdowns, as the COVID variants spread like wildfire. Nothing can stop the scourge of COVID and crisis actors are on the move, heavily, in order to exact a brave new world.

Separately, it appears ISIS is back in the mix, after 4 years on holiday. The Colorado shooter is of Syrian descent and rather enjoyed ISIS podcasts.

In a world of madness and cataclysm, I can only suggest going SHORT in order to hedge against COLLAPSE. Things aren’t going too well and the downside is here and perhaps to stay. All of your dreams have been washed away with the sands of time and the ideas you had to ingratiate yourselves in the splendor of market grandeur — GONE FOREVER.

I offer nothing but cold hard facts and if this is uncomfortable for you to read — fuck off.

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It’s Really Over This Time

You’ll want to feel like you did last month, a common trait amongst all addicts. You’ll throw your money around sentimentally, hoping to repeat past glories, running headlong into brick walls hoping to find a road etched into it like in the Wile E Coyote cartoons. I hate to be the clarity you need, since I do not enjoy being the bearer of dreadful news. But it’s over. The bull market might not be gone — but the speculative bubble that was going to take us to the moon and back is nothing more than a faint memory now, a moment in time when people got carried away.

Prices are deflating in a number of “hot” sectors and has been for more than a month. There wasn’t ever any underpinning behind this move; therefore, it will transcend and sink into dust.

I have take blows today, as my NFT gambit fell flat. I am presently off by 240bps, but have already begun redecorating my portfolio and more importantly mentally preparing myself to deal with this new reality. Like you, I too want more and to see the sun rise over PLUG and to see Elon Musk’s net worth balloon to $1 trillion while also watching him shit on the SEC.

The new reality will be rooted in fundamentals and slow moving stocks — molasses dripping off the counter into a sauce pan. Slop it up.

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Heavy distribution in anything but mega cap. Once again, I need to remind you fucking brainless dolts to stop chasing rats down the sewer pipe. Inside Exodus we’ve been immune to the pangs of this sell off thanks to the gift of NFT related stocks. But even that has ceased today and all seems to be heading downward into the nothingness of eternal loss. Mind yourselves, we have substantial downside left and your stupid “stimmy” checks are not going to save you, nothing can.

We might very well be in the Obama bear market of 2014-2015, which was malignant and horrible in both nature and demeanor.

My best advice to you is to panic first and smoke an estate pipe later. Raise cash and become a voyer of market crashes, and not a victim.

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