18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,200 Blog Posts


Last night Fed’s Kashkari said the Fed had “unlimited” money in order to fix the financial system. This morning the Fed announced they will buy corporate bonds geared towards Main Street, including the purchase of corporate bond ETFs. This means, like Japan, the Fed will be buying LQD — like morons, in a flaccid attempt to boost markets.

Can you blame them? This is all we have left.

Among the initiatives is a commitment to continue its asset purchasing program “in the amounts needed to support smooth market functioning and effective transmission of monetary policy to broader financial conditions and the economy.”

That represents a potentially new chapter in the Fed’s “money printing” as it commits to keep expanding its balance sheet as necessary, rather than a commitment to a set amount.

The Fed also will be moving for the first time into corporate bonds, purchasing the investment-grade securities in primary and secondary markets and through exchange-traded funds. The move comes in a space that has seen considerable turmoil since the crisis has intensified and market liquidity has been sapped.

Other initiatives include an unspecified lending program for Main Street businesses and the Term Asset-Backed Loan Facility implemented during the financial crisis. There will be a program worth $300 billion “supporting the flow of credit” to employers consumers and businesses and two facilities set up to provide credit to large employers.

Futures went from ‘limit down’ to +500 to now milquetoast flat and sinking fast. How to analyze this? The Fed is throwing everything but the kitchen sink at the bond market now. The very last step would be the outright purchase of stocks, which is illegal — but who’s gonna stop them? Trump?

Bullish or bearish — gun to the head. UNSURE. Let’s see how the market trades.

NOTE: I had a double sized FAZ position heading into today. I sold it for +10%. I am presently 90% cash.

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If you think you’re immune to the pangs of this coming storm, you’re being delusional. Call your advisors, log into your accounts, and sell. If you don’t sell — you’re going to deeply regret it.

Fed’s Bullard is out talking shit today.

GDP -50% (extra Thanos)

Whether you believe this is an overreaction or not is not relevant. It’s happening, just like wars happened in the past and other shit that humans fucked up. Your disbelief and insistence that this is nothing more than the flu, bro, has led you down a ruinous path to perdition and you will only compound your personal suffering by acting obstinately.


Trade dips, both long and short. You can get long for short periods of time to trade ranges — nothing wrong with that. But the buy and hold mantra is dead. Before it’s all said and done, peak to trough, markets will be down 75%.

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Lots of shit to go through, headlines that leaked out sneakily last night.


Mnuchin was a partner at Goldman, just like Dad. Now he’s tapping them for the bailout. While Goldman is more than capable, it doesn’t seem right.


Everyone is getting bailed out, from airlines to restaurants, even Fintech firms want govt tit.

Before Fed Acted, Leverage Burned Hedge Funds in Treasury Market

Basis traders were borrowing as much as 50 times their wagers

ExodusPoint, LMR Partners among the losers in popular trade

The firms use borrowed money from the repurchase market for the popular basis trade, which exploits price differences between cash Treasuries and futures. Leveraged funds’ exposure to the basis strategy could be as much as $650 billion, JPMorgan Chase & Co. strategists said.

ZH out with a big story, highlighting a highly 50x leveraged trade that was done in recent years that could be the cause of the Fed intervention. Hint: another bailout.

The Federal Reserve is already about halfway done in a single week with at least $700 billion of bond purchases to provide emergency liquidity to financial markets, delivering a clear sign that it could blow past that marker.

That was fast. More BRRRRRRRRRRRrrrr.

Goldman Sachs economists forecast a historically sharp and swift recession, with second-quarter GDP sinking a stunning 24% after a 6% decline in the first quarter.

-24% seems rather conservative. On the other side of this, Goldman is projecting +12% for Q3.


DJ Sol earned the big bucks in 2019. Should we now take away his earnings in 2020?

Three things I am interested in the week to come.

  1. What happens to high yield debt, now that WTI is below $20?
  2. What happens to leveraged loans, now that the c0mplex is blown out? Most of these loans are bullshit CLOs that are ‘covenant light.’
  3. Does the rate of change of infected people in America and Europe dissipate or hockey stick?

That’s all that matters now. I strongly advise you to ignore the advice from your fee based financial advisors and go to cash. You go to cash, not because you think stocks are expensive and go lower — but because you’re unsure what the future holds. You cannot invest on a model that shows -24% GDP with the entire globe on shut down. There is perma-bull and then delusional. You can always buy back later, EVEN AT HIGHER PRICES — god forbid.

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I am sick of the commentary on CNBC. It’s hurting investors and keeping them long equities into what could be the worst financial crisis ever. We are looking down the barrel of -80% decline in business. Bridgewater, giant hedge fund run by intelligent people, project a loss of $4 trillion in business in America alone.

It’s over.

It’s over.

It’s over.

I did a lot of things today, but settled on a 2x FAZ position rolling into total lockdown. Lots of credit conditions are beyond scary. Oil got face fucked for -20% peak to trough today — setting the stage of a complete meltdown in HY bonds. The Fed is now printing money (BRRRRRRRR) to buy munis, in order to keep cities afloat. The whole scheme is treacherous and this is happening because the conditions to expose our weakness was there before the virus. China didn’t need to send soldiers. They sent tourists and sunk the country — because it was sinkable.

Don’t talk shit if you have a glass jaw.

My advice, buy more toilet paper, lots of food and meds, withdraw cash from the bank, and prepare for the worst times you have ever witnessed.

Today’s closed trades.

NBY +21%
TNA +2.5%
(FAZ -3.8%)
NOVN +37%
(SPCE -8.6%)
CROX +7.3%
(NCLH -12.2%)
(DIN -3.2%)
(CHDN -1.3%)
(MDB -4.5%)
HUBS +1.6%
TEAM +1.2%
(ROKU -3.7%)

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Let me give you a sequence of events.

I step into the office (my parlour) and bear witness to NBY sharply lower and TNA higher. I book both and move on. Seeing the market rip, I get a SEVERE case of FOMO. Extreme FAGGOTS of the first order talk scandalous horseshit online, only increasing my FOMO. I bear witness to gains and want to partake.

I have money to burn and cash to spend, so I delve in.

I get into an array of shit — space companies to plague ships. Immediately after I step in, Gov. Cuomo SHUTS IT ALL DOWN. Everyone has to stay inside now. Stocks get BTFO and I begin to regret living.

Instead of HODLing like a millennial edge lord, I sell it all and thank the Gods I made a keen and wise decision to REVENGE TRADE in NOVN — a Nitric Oxide play of degenerate proportions.

I am now 95% cash again, getting FOMO to sell it short and down but decided to write this blog instead in order to distract me.

The net results for today.

NBY +21%
TNA +2.5%
(FAZ -3.8%)
NOVN +37%
(SPCE -8.6%)
CROX +7.3%
(NCLH -12.2%)
(DIN -3.2%)
(CHDN -1.3%)
(MDB -4.5%)
HUBS +1.6%
TEAM +1.2%
(ROKU -3.7%)

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You Get the Market You Deserve, Not What You Want

Important lesson here.

Yesterday I bough NBY at 0.92 because they announced news of having N95 masks for sale. The stock was already +150% and I felt it could go higher. After I bought it, it ran like the wind and I wad delighted. I had fanciful dreams of myself dining in a deserted French Riviera coastal resort, counting my coin. The stock jumped to $1.75 in the AHs and I warned Exodus members to LEAVE NOW else fall victim to a most heinous crime, should the shares reverse lower the next day.

But I had dreams and those dreams were DASHED AWAY at the fucking rocks of hard knocks. Earlier this morning, I sold my shares, SHARPLY LOWER, in the pre-market, taking just a 21% profit. While handsome, this is not going to get me off the coast of France popping champagne corks. Now I had wanted something different, but I got what I deserved. I sold in the PM because I knew the PLEBS would immediately spill out across the pavement when the market opened and I was right.

I booked the TNA trade for a 2.5% profit this morning and now mostly have cash, waiting for a clear direction from the stock Gods.

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Stock futures look great, and I bet many of you believe Le Fly is caught with cock in hand. As usual, you’re wrong. See, yesterday whilst the market was jerking off to the sounds of a FRESH MONEY BEING PRINTED I took a position in TNA and I still hold said position into aforementiond melt up. But if I’m being honest with you, all jokes aside, the market, very soon, will crack asunder turning all of your smiles into frowns. You will once again be CLOWN RAPED amidst a ravaged countryside filled with plague. I do not say these things with a full chest, but you know they are true.

We live in a post technology world now and real life skills are once again important. Soon militias will be formed and then roaming bands of cannibals. You will need to be fit and should stop gouging yourselves with bacon, egg, and cheese bagel sandwiches now, for when the fires burn at their zenith, so will you.

Modus operandi should be to never drink booze, always lift weights, and adhere to a strict diet. STOP HAVING FUN. We don’t have any time for that shit. Life is serious and so is quarantine. Sure you can have fun, but then you’ll die of the plague. Your choice.

I see markets are offering mixed signals. We are long overdue for a string of rallies that lures plebs back into the manifold to once again CLOSE THE BOOK on them for good. But I’d be lying if I said I knew what’s going to happen. Situation is fluid pal; get to work.

OH, and yes, gold is going to catch a bid soon. Now that the ETF retards in JNUG and NUGT have been eliminated from the game of play and every American is going to receive FREE MONEY from the government, I suspect wanton and ruinous treachery and gold to be bid.

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Lots of permanent bulls out there talking SHIT after just 1 day up. You know, you deserve to lose it all. You deserve to lose LARGE SUMS of money for your insolence. I am pleased I sold out of my long term accounts and do not have to worry about the tick tock. I have taken direct control and can very easily play the long and short side of the market, based upon real time assessments.

In my opinion, we’ve yet to see the financial ramifications of this scourge.

MAJOR DRAWDOWNS happening in IG and worse in junk. The LSTA leveraged loan index is down more than 17% for the year. That is absolutely ruinous to private equity.

You can trade on the long side and even swing trade; but don’t think for a second this is over.

I took several trades today. Here were my results.

IFMK +32%
FAZ +3.7%
GRIL +23%
GRIL +10%

OSTK +9.4%
(APT -4%)
(APT -14%)
FNGU +2.1%
PRTY +51%
PRTY +21.7%

That’s right, +51% in PRTY. Talk all of the shit you want — but Le Fly cuts your legs off every single time in a stock duel. To that end, I am mostly cash, but of course on the prowl for some end of day rippers.

Happy spring.

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Your Supermarket is Your Shopping Mall Now


Interesting times. Let me posit this fact now. You have no place else to shop other than your grocery store or pharmacy. This goes without saying, but I’d surmise that a healthy portion of the $500b spent at the mall and restaurants will now be used in other places. This means KR and AMZN is your new Macy’s and Nordstrom. This means HAIN, CPB, and SJM are your new designer labels. Get it?

Because of zero percent interest rates, stocks that pay dividends deserve higher multiples. This is classic multiple expansion phase because of yield. Add on top of that the MONUMENTAL shift in consumer behavior and FORCED monopolies and you have a time and place where RECORD HIGH multiples can be affixed to consumer staples.

Yes, names like CLX, PG, CL, K, SJM and even FIZZ deserve high growth multiples. You will soon learn how incredibly under prices these stocks are and you should, as I will be soon, take advantage of rally days to buy them. They will dip on rally days — because ERRRRR “V-SHAPED RECOVERY” idiots piling in and out. But rest assured, these stocks will appreciate over the next 6 months.

Other than that, I am playing this bounce via the most degenerate way I know how.

NOTE: Trump just said he supports govt ownership in equities. Ok then.


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Making Lemonade With All These Damned Lemons

Hard tape, down another 650 — for you. For me, this is what I was born for — to preside over the fires burning bright and hot with orchestral music whirring in the background. While you sat there wondering when stocks would bottom and when you could stop being such a faggot, Le Fly, a man of action, is minting coin.

Now I do not tell you these things to make you jealous. I will give you these fish. All you have to do is reserve a table at House Exodus and they are yours. Someone has to thrive in all this, might as well be me.


IFMK +32% (bought in AHs last night after seeing volume and price tick)
FAZ +3.7% (bought into close, had a ‘hunch’)
GRIL +10% (so good I bought it twice)

I have three positions left, one of which is a DOUBLE SIZED position. I am not sure if the market is bottoming and I really do not care. I cannot concern myself with macro events, which is why I sold out of my retirement and Quant accounts in total. I am Captain of this vessel and if it’s going down, I will preside over it — not some harebrained “buy and hold” stratagem that only works during good times.


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