iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,783 Blog Posts

Focus on Depravity Into the New Year’s

I am definitely going to position into gold during Jan 2021. But for the balance of this week, my focus is on the worst stocks — the less than $2 stocks that are shit upon by our financial elites. Those are the names breaking necks to the upside today. See OCGN.

Early going, I am +2.5% and I booked gains in PUBM (+27%), EMAN (+13%) and 6 others all for 6%+. It is my duty, as a stock trader extraordinaire, to show you where the money is going now. I can tell you without equivocation, it is going to small penny stocks that you’re afraid to buy.

Why?

Because this is the final salvo — the last hurrah before the whole glass house is shattered with a phallic shaped brick. You’d be wise to follow me into the depths of hell today and for the balance of the week. I have a keen eye for these sort of things, you know.

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GIGANTIC GAINS

I closed out 95% long, +520bps for the session. No need to detail how I did it. I see indices sucked a giant dick. Money was cascading heavily into LIDAR and Lithium stocks, and then sashayed into PUBLIC MASTURBATION (PUBM) and then the squeeze was applied to the rats. We chased them into the sewers and then beat them with firecrackers.

My trading is +26% for the month and normally I’d dial it the fuck back and take it easy, breeze into the Xmas season playing it safe like a fucking pussy. But I’m not interested in any of that shit. See, I want to be down 20% tomorrow and the only way I can achieve this is by compiling a portfolio like this.

I don’t give a shit and have so many gains for 2020, I could zero all of those stocks out and still be up.

Who would’ve though 13 years after I started blogging about MVIS — now would be their time to shine as a fucking LIDAR play — roasting the testicles of HINDENBURG with extreme alacrity.

I’m done talking shit — because I’ve transcended it. There is no need for me to do anything else, for I have already achieved MAXIMUM WINSHIP. I have endeavored to accomplish this every since I started blogging and now I have done it — biggest fucking boss — bowling on people from atop — tossing balls down and into the heads of various enemies — no mercy — just non-stop fuckery largess.

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EXPLOSION OF JOY UNTO ALL PEOPLE’S IN THE MARKET

LIDAR stocks are the new EV, the latest craze to captivate the morons who trade this market. CLA is now a LIDAR SPAC. Therefore, up 50% for the session. Little piece of shit MVIS has gone from zero to 8 because they’re now a LIDAR play.

What is LIDAR? Elon Musk says it’s useless technology for cars. I say it can suck your dicks, so might as well play it. I’ve been playing it very well indeud. I have a fucking database of tweets and other keywords from other venues to help me find this shit and I trade it like an intelligent ape. Things are up so much it’s blinding. BLNK in the 40s, JMIA gonna hit $50, PLUG in the 30s, and anything at all related to green energy through the roof.

Joe Biden is going to spend all of the money on windmills and fucking lithium batteries and we’re all gonna get brand new electric cars. Fuck gasoline and fuck paying for stuff with money we have. We will use credit and low interest rates. If you don’t like it, we’ll send some missiles over to change your minds.

Ah, life is grande as a great American.

I’m trading a little of this and a little of that today, up nearly 400bps because I had MVIS and other stuff up double digits today, whilst also enjoying the comforts of 50% cash. I do as I like when I want and no one can stop me. I might take a nap and reawaken, reanimated, and make, say, another 600bps today, or perhaps 900bps. I can make as much as I like, because I am a genius stock trader who is also psychic. Yes, that’s right, I can predict the future before it happens and that’s because I’m a special boy. Why, I have magical powers and can conjure lightening from the sky and also read the minds of others and also look at the screen, yes, and see the digits and the scattered code like in the matrix. That’s right, I can see what others cannot and that causes me to buy dick sucking LIDAR stocks that shoot higher and only I can do this.

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More Massive Gains With Barely Any Real Exposure — Easiest Market Ever

The one notable thing about my recent gains is I’ve been achieving them with upwards of 50% cash. In other words, today’s 3% gains could’ve been 6% if I had applied myself. Which begs the next question: shall I endeavor to increase and recklessly increase my exposure into shit-tiered stocks during this Santa Claud laden week of 2020? I do believe it might be worth my while. The fact is, America just passed a “stimulus bill” that is sending billions overseas, even $15m earmarked for Pakistani gender programs. This isn’t a country, but instead a large entity from which the people inside of it make money. That’s all. Take all of the statues down and remove the flag — because the America of today is nothing like the America pre LBJ — and that’s a fact.

I’m not complaining about it — per se. And those of you who exhibit patriotic feelings are moved by sentiment and not facts. You know it and I know it. However foolish, I do salute you. But Le Fly has little to no interest in saving what is already dead and inside of 5 years will be gone for Europe — never to return again. There are various reasons to leave, very few to stay — other than family. My children are older now and 2 out of 3 like me — so I did a 66% good job. Once college is completed, I will depart for Europe and run the green fields and denounce my citizenship and throw it into the trash.

As for the stocked market, higher of course. You do not need me to tell you that. Until something interesting or different happens, you’ll just have to endure my missives about me and me and more me.

Ciao.

My MTD gains are straight fire.

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A Fine Sundry of Well Tuned Trades

This is more for me than you. A review of today’s trades thus far.

XCUR +10.3%
LAZR +8.1%
TTCF +7.5%
QS +3.5%
NBAC +9%
IDEX +3.1%
GEVO +4.1% (day trade)
EQOS +10.3% (day trade)
NNDM +4% (day trade)
BEAM +5.4% (day trade)

Markets have stopped going down and GIGANTIC DICKED gains to be enjoyed in Biden fag stocks, in addition to gene editing. We all believe in science, most aggressively and profusely. We shall wear our masks inside the house, trade with avarice, and kill our enemies from afar with memes.

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Early Redemption, SUPER COVID, CRASH SCENARIO!

I’ve redeemed myself already from Friday’s plebeian showing, up 170bps out the gates with big dicked gains in a sundry of momentum stocks. I’ve sold them all, kept 20% long and added a hedge.

Futures had been down 450 based off the NEW SCARE in London, where BRITBONGS, are being quarantined on plague island thanks to a more wretched form of COVID there, one that stands to wipe out the entire population. Countries have closed their borders with the U.K., but doctors assure us the vaccines will work on this super strain too.

Nevertheless, I am treating this as an extinction level event and will be looking to trade small and cowardly, whilst jumping at the opportune to capsize the market will shorts at my extreme discretion.

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TIME TO GET YOUR VACCINES PLEBS

You grew up eating MacDonalds and Wendy’s, sipped toxic sludge at Orange Julius and smoked pot laced with embalming fluid on the weekends in between acid trips and large consumption of malted liquor, ingested all into your skeletal structure without issue. Now with the world on lockdown and a way out via vaccine, it is your duty, as a civilian of the world, to vaccinate yourselves in order to end this pandemic.

Granted, some of you will die, or become paralyzed about the cheek and gums. However, we are at war and you’re all soldiers storming the beaches and attempting to remove evil Nazis from their nests.

If you do not take the vaccine, you will be left out in the dust, ineligible for government stimulus, unable to travel or to be educated.

Enjoy your lives in the woods living out from a tent.

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Closed the Week Out a Fucking Loser

I opened the day with 250bps losses and hemmed them a bit, shutting it down 1.7%. Not a horrendous day — but I should’ve been up. I traded fat and sloppy — really sad. Typically I get a morning run that cements my day. If down by 11am, I am fucked until late day. Today we saw security stocks like FEYE and CRWD jump the fuck higher. I traded MCFE successfully — because America is open season for hackers and everyone gets a piece of the action. BIG TECH loves it and makes endless streams of cash from inept government agencies who are too fucking stupid to protect themselves from slavic retards coding from their local Borscht takeout cafes.

My Quant was up 125bps, so I was a winner in a sense. Plus in my long term portfolio, I own TSLA and other shit moving up. I made 75bps there too. The point is, you need money to make money. We all know that. I am still a piker amongst kings — but I’ve carved my way slowly and methodically. If young or without coin, my best advice, as if you were a friend, would be to add money into the market every month like paying a bill. Get a long term portfolio and buy them and build your account over the next 2-3 years. When you have $25k-50k, you can begin trading — but not before. I do not recommend people trade with accounts less than $50k. And, most importantly, if that $50k is your net worth — DO NOT TRADE IT. Compound those returns over time and although you might not live long enough to enjoy the fruits of your everlasting labor — hopefully your rotten kids or grandkids could — and they could, perhaps, provide their loved one’s with a lifestyle built off your legacy. Sounds incredibly selfless — because it is.

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An Early Morning Bogging Has Me Working Hard Again

I awoken today to stark and foreboding losses. I exacerbated those losses with several hare brained trades. Presently, I am off by 2.5% and I’ve been forced, coerced even, to dive back into the market with my cash in order to attempt at reversing said misfortunes.

Last night I was with Mrs Fly and Mother in law at the local mall here in Raleigh, NC when SHOTS rang out and people started running all over the place — dragging their kids by the hair to escape the local gang-bangers scourge. As it happened, I was in a PAC-SUN, bored to death as my wife purchased Xmas presents, when we were locked into the store. See, active shooter protocol dictates gates must close down and people must remain still. There was a certain ‘now yoos can’t leave’ vibe to all this — but I soon after left and escaped the horrors of potential life ending gun shots to the face.

I have about 30% cash. My latest purchase was Chinese SPAC NBAC. I tell you this out of charitable generosity, as it happens to be the holiday season. As you know, Le Fly only offers his sage -2.5% for the day advice to members only. I am bemused by their name, NEWBORN ACQUISITION, based in China. I prefer to believe they acquire newborns and sell them to wealthy Japanese businessmen at the Tokyo airport. I will be disappointed whenever I get around to reading a single item about what they do.

Lots of shit flying off the shelves now and the gifts under the tree at House Fly are brimming with decadency. We’ve spent RECORD amounts this year — rewarding all of our children for a year of terrible behavior and sub-par grades. As for yours truly, and I don’t talk about it much, but I have been consumed, mentally and physically, trying to get Stocklabs launched. The undertaking is extreme and I have micro-managed every single feature with everything I have to offer. I’ve been using the software exclusively for my trading since September, sporting +40% trading returns since then. There will be full transparency in all of my portfolios upon launch. Originally, we were supposed to launch in December. But if I’m being honest, that would be a rush job. It’s looking more like Feb 2021 — because there is a slew of price target functions and educational material that needs to be integrated. Plus, we have thousands of people signed up for beta and I have no idea, whatsoever, how that might tax the servers. Nevertheless, and this goes without saying, Exodus is doing just fine now and if you’re too inundated to be smart about trading on your own — I highly recommend you give it a try. It is filled with scores of degenerates just like you — who spend all day shit-posting about grande wins and perversions that could only be discussed in a private forum.

Time to get back to trading and attempt at trading well enough to erase this miserable loss for the day.

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Eagerly Waiting for a Courrection

I am about 55% cash with just about the biggest piece of shit portfolio possible. I am tempting the stocks gods to offer me a 100000000bps drawdown. And to be honest, I would rather enjoy it. The toil and the certitude of always making money wears thin on me. I’d rather, dare I say, fall down a manhole and climb myself back out from the rats gnawing at my feet.

I traded a little of this and a little of that — made 230bps just for showing up.

I will say, rather emphatically, if you’re not up in the ballpark of 150% this year — you’re not a very good trader. The money is simply out there for you to take it.

Are you man enough to take it? Are you good enough?

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