iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,553 Blog Posts

LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU

There are two types of people in this world — those who make money and those who do not. The ones who do not end up on the ass-end of a tear gas canister, the ones who do travel in luxury and often frequent resorts and belong to country clubs.

So you know, Le Fly has never tasted the scent of a tear gas canister — because he is a man of distinguished qualities. You bore witness to the markets up 467 today, as breadth steadied all day to close at 64%. Everything of substance went higher, with a few high momentum names taking a break. In the morning, I was down — but then I went to work and traded like a long dicked stallion and came out up more than 200BPS.

See pal, that’s who I am and you’re nothing.

Good father?

Fuck you…go play with your kids.

These were today’s closed trades.

(RIOT -9.1%)
(APPS -7.7%)
FEAC +6.3%
SPAQ +5.6%
TRNE +7.1%
(BYND -2.9%)
PLNT +0.4%
UONE +15.4%
OPESW +14.1%

I ended up 100% long, creatine coming out from my ears — zero fucks or reservations — indeud.

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Rotation into Value and Also SPACs

Just when you thought markets were assembling to rotate into value, seeing TSLA down 8% and KO +4%, a wide pastiche of fucking SPACs broke loose.

Admittedly, I am fully long these SPACs, positioning for more degeneracy.

My booked trades so far.

(RIOT -9.1%)
(APPS -7.7%)
FEAC +6.3%
SPAQ +5.6%
TRNE +7.1%

Many of my other positions are LOWER due to rotation — but I’ve been making some of the losses back with well timed day trades. See pal, this is the difference between you, and a person — such as myself. I went into today with cash and will leave with cash — always prepared for eventualities. Markets offered me lemons, so I made lemonade. That’s what winners do. That’s what The Fly does.

Before I talk too much shit, I must remind myself I have a mind numbing amount of exposure to all of the highest valued stocks in existence — the worst values to ever hit markets since the Carthage Exchange peaked.

I’m also short oil, so there’s always that to fall back on.

Breadth is a tepid 53% and morons are buying KO. I do not believe we are ready to roll over just yet. Perhaps I will be proved wrong and lashed across the face with a leather strap. Or, perhaps none of that shit will happen and I will sell my SPACs for handsome profit.

Either way, it’s never a dull day.

NOTE: Trades are not given to PLEBS here anymore, for they are reserved for the gentlemen inside Exodus only. EXCLUSIVE ACCESS!!

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HARSH REVERSALS ABOUND — WHAT COMES NEXT?

Listen to me. I will tell you what comes next. The god damned entire market is seconds from melting higher again. We’re stuck betwixt the perversion of men and the greed of women. Everything about the market is CLOWN world. For example, the market cap of TSLA is more than ALL of the auto makers in the world combined. When faced with these sort of realities, one cannot operate with normal decision making abilities. One must think completely outside the box and wonder what will happen next?

My winning streak ended at 10 for 10 this morning, forced to take two losses — one due to the overnight collapse in cryptos. I was long RIOT. The thing about cryptos is that you don’t have to worry about them, unlike stocks. With stocks, you can be raped at anytime. No one is safe and don’t you dare go to lunch when holding a portfolio of SPACs.

Life is grande, until it isn’t. My stated goal is to eventually destroy all of the millennial shit-head investors out there and fix them with large capital losses. But that comes later. For now, I am buying and selling things like an arab merchant at a bazaar.

Plenty of stocks gapped up and are lower by 4% now. Do not worry. Wait for the clowns to bid them up soon.

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A NEW WINNING STREAK ARISES

Bullshit breadth again of only 55%, means many did nothing but hold their dicks in hand today. However, I found my stride and kicked off the Quant again — making 0.5% there and another 4% in my trading account — smashing people in the face for sport.

I have also embarked on a new winning streak — 10 for last 10.

ZEN +10.3%
GOGO +20%
CRWD +4.1%
OSTK +3%
FOSL +1.8%
CLSK +6.7%
MARA +7.8%
WKHS +11.5%
NLS +8.2%
ZUO +4.8%

I have a lot more where that came from.

I bought a bunch of SHIT into the close — 15% cash, 100% man.

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MARKETS PRICE IN MOAR

I shuffled lots of stuff around today — booking MASSIVE gains. I am edge lording to 4% overall gains today, whilst being 30% cash. Let me tell you who I am pal. I am the type of person that fucks this market until it’s dead and then I move on. There are ZERO people on this entire planet who trade better than me when hot. If you attempt to challenge me, you will only accomplish humiliating yourselves.

You are probably here hoping to GLEAN some information to become better. Sorry, the ship has fucking sailed for that pal a long time ago. I’m not in the business of selling fish pole instruction, friendo. I feed people fish. Any questions?

Good.

Markets are beginning to price in MASSIVE RIOTS. Expect to see LA burn tonight, all of this very bullish and good indeed. What you’re seeing, actually, isn’t Americans rioting, but all Russian trolls, which is why Twitter is banning all of them.

Ah, the latter day excesses of Empire America. This bitch of a whore will do anything to hold onto power; but the time for unity is over and the time for dick chopping mechanisms fast approaches. Look at SWBI today. So many Nazis with so many guns cannot bode well for commie pig-fuckers. I am not too belligerent. Do not worry. Le Fly is much more interested in profiting off the chaos than leading it.

OFF TO EAT LUNCH

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THE EXODUS QUANT IS BACK!

Like a pussy, I cleared out the Quant account at the lows in March. I LOCKED IN a 20% drawdown and allocated the money towards my discretionary account. Without question, I crushed and poleaxed every single investment method known to the universe since then, so I made the right decision. But spiritually, I capitulated and that’s not a very brave thing to do. In my defense, it was unprecedented and I legitimately believed markets would close down for good and the economy would spiral into a depression we could not walk back from.

I was wrong. The Fed circle jerked so fast it got all of the millennial faggots on board and ushered in a new era of retail excellence.

A massive bubble is happening now and I don’t have the notion to believe we are topping yet. I see no warning signs. Therefore, I re-allocated into the Quant with 50% of my assets.

What entails the Quant: the first ever ranking system created by Stocklabs, using growth factors and our Advanced Algorithm, which is new and produces picks for longer term durations. The net result is I own all of the very best stocks.

Trading wise, I am unequivocally back and punching people directly in their weak faces again — breaking jaws like they were stale pretzels.

Today’s trades:

SAVE -6.6%
OUT -2.6%
ZEN +10.3%
GOGO +20%
CRWD +4.1%
OSTK +3%
FOSL +1.8%
CLSK +6.7%

Ultimately we all die. But before that happens, I endeavor to make as much money as humanly possible for reasons I am not entirely sure of just yet.

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MADNESS

The Dow knifed lower — but thanks to the stock splits at TSLA and AAPL, the Nasdaq managed to eek out 70 points. My fortunes appear to be turning up and I am glad for it — because I am an extremely streaky trader — going long bouts of the ups and sometimes down. The past month shaved about 10% off my gains of 300% FUCKING PERCENT. Needless to say, I am not disturbed.

Next up, 30 for 30 winning streak, as Le Fly sashays thru the market place fully erect and fully bull’d the fuck up. I am, however, SHORT PENN — because I think Portnoy has COVID 19 and could die. All of this COVID business has us all on edge. Any one of us can die at any time.

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I’ve Seen This Stupid Shit Before

Long ago, before some of you were born, there was a place and time in this country when young Fly and his idiot broker friends would buy stocks because they split their shares. I even wrote two stories about my ordeal. Go ahead and see what happened to me.

Shares of TSLA are higher by 6 to 10% today, depending on when you tuned in and the only explanation is stock split. Apple, the world’s largest company, is up 3.2%. Most stocks are down, led by speculative small caps. Dare I say, the cosmetic nature of weighted indices is fucking retarded?

I can tel you this with 100% certainty, at some point this fucking bubble is going to blow into 1 billion pieces and your arms and legs will be strewn apart across your office walls. Your wife is going to leave you and your kids will spit in your face for zeroing out the family nest egg. This is, without question, SPECULATIVE EXCESS.

Knowing full well how this ends, I am also KEENLY aware how irrational people can be and for how long. This can last a long time — but never take your guard down. No one is safe and anyone can get it.

Yes, that was also a double entendre.

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Lo and Behold — Ethereum is Soaring Again

Breadth is a giant dicksucker again at just 31%. That means if you randomly bought stocks on Friday, you’re down without a question.  I have several irons in the fire heating up and feel somewhat good about my prospects for today, but none as optimistic than my position in ETH.

Cryptos roared over the weekend, into the Summer of Love — as Americans beat and shoot one another over meaningless politics. Last week Ethereum got down into the $370s. Today it is north of $430 — no big deal and no need to discuss further. It will be higher 12 months from today.

My strategy for the next hour is food related. I am thinking croissant, eggs, and coffee.

DEVELOPING…

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Addressing the COVID-19 Mental Fucking Illness

This rampant soaring infectious disease that has a kill rate of less than the chicken pox is the greatest social experiment of all time. To preface this article, I will disclose what I’ve been doing during the lock-down and social distancing.

Because I am a gentleman first and always, I don a SKULL FACED fucking mask — pirate fashioned, and I always behave with courtesy — because that’s what civilized humans do. Wearing the SKULL FUCKING MASK doesn’t provide me with any comfort, nor does it greatly disturb me. But it might disturb you. I find the whole mask hysteria to be somewhat hilarious — but a necessary evil whilst struggling to FLATTEN THE FUCKING CURVE. Plus, I truly and thoroughly despise the flu.

I exercise basic hygiene slightly elevated to conform with the times. I clean my hands more often than usual — UTILIZE HAND SANITIZER SPRAY to destroy the COVID viruses that attempt to enter my vessel. Also, because Mrs. Fly is a bit an extremist, we wipe down all groceries when they come in. To be honest, if it were just me, I’d say fuck it and do nothing. Then again, I am an Alpha plus and tend to err on the side of courage. But I have to address something I’ve seen throughout this ordeal, for the sake of posterity.

The mask has overtly become a symbol of conformity and has been politicized. People on the right think it’s 100% shit; but people on the left suck the masks dick. People on the right have no problem drinking beers and talking to each other like normal times — but the left is stuck in this hysteria and avoid contact — unless they’re rioting together to kill the police and overthrow the government — or seeking out gibs at Nordstrom.

I’ve bore witness to endless people donning masks inside their cars while driving and I felt like Stunt Man Miking into the them — but I have my kids in the car. I’ve also seen people walk into their homes with their masks on and often wonder if they fuck with them on too. I know parents who refuse to see their adult children because COVID and I know of many people who refuse to leave their homes.

This scourge we are dealing with has become a perversion of logic, with illiterates on both sides claiming to understand science they’ve never been trained for. Admittedly, I do not know what the fuck is happening and only take precautions for the sake of my children. I am, after all, a fatalist and see little purpose in going the extra mile to cede my manhood in exchange for a few extra years on this god forsaken shit-heap of an existence.

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