Back in 1969, a team of really creative Americans ventured off on a LIVE broadcast traveling to the fucking moon — armed with a calculator and tinned foil. It has been 47 years since we strolled on the moon, opting to waste our money on other things — such as sex changes for prisoners and useless aircraft carriers to extend the dicks of all Americans across the globe.
Enter 2019 — armed with all of the finest technology they could steal from America — Israel attempted to send a spacecraft to the moon and got BTFO.
A small spacecraft that has captured the imagination and excitement of people in Israel and around the world appears to have crashed into the moon on Thursday.
“We had a failure in the spacecraft,” Opher Doron, the general manager of Israel Aerospace Industries’ space division, which collaborated on building the spacecraft, said afterward. “We unfortunately have not managed to land successfully.”
The mood at the command center was somber but still celebratory.
“Well we didn’t make it, but we definitely tried,” said Morris Kahn, an Israeli telecommunications entrepreneur and president of SpaceIL, the nonprofit that undertook the mission. “And I think the achievement of getting to where we got is really tremendous. I think we can be proud.”
MoonFAGS will say this was a success. Others might say it was a fiction. One thing is for certain, no one has ever set foot on the moon, aside from us incredible Americans and no one seems to know how to get back there. It’s a damned shame all of the telemetry data from 1969 was destroyed, otherwise we might have something to really look at and enjoy… all of those wonderful moon rocks brought back from there — made from fucking brass.