iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,615 Blog Posts

THIS IS WHO I AM AND YOU’RE NOTHING

See pal, this is who I am — booking +6.66% insta-day returns on my way to the Grande Druid Lodge to participate in ritual — and you’re nothing. You’ll come here and talk shit — but you cannot compete.

In short, I booked two overnight trades from last night, OKTA and ZS for 3% gains, and STMP for +6.66% in a matter of hours. I allocated almost all of my cash into the end of the day — because I’m bold and my balls are the size of cantaloups.

This is who I am.

Also, my Quant is up 170BPS today. Also, my Quant was +150BPS yesterday.

This is who I am.

At my core, I am a gold man, always have been and will be. I have 25% of my money long the shiny metal, into a Zimbabwe-esque meltdown of monumental proportions. My end of day pick has been selected and it is, sadly, for members of the Exodus platform only.

Go in peace and fuck off.

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GOLD TRADERS: GET READY TO BUY LAMBOS

Listen to me as if I had a loaded shotgun to your heads.

Everything you see is temporary but gold. Long from now, Amazon and Google will be bankrupted corporations, destroyed by their own hubris — but gold, pure fucking gold, will still retain value.

Long ago, aliens from outer space cracked whips on Africans to mine for gold. They needed it for jewelry and for their atmosphere. Since then, humans have assigned a value to the shiny metal. Wars have been fought over it, whole continents subjugated and conquered for it. Today, those who believe in it are on par with those who wait around for the Great Pumpkin on Hallow’s Eve night, dismissed and called “bugs.” The days of being ridiculed and discarded like pieces of shit are over, lads.

IT IS OUR TIME TO SHINE NOW (DOUBLE ENTENDRE!)

The markets are shitting down severed heads today and one would think gold would sell off — but it’s not. It came all the way back from an earlier deficit and is now punching faces along the way higher.

I added a little something to my portfolio today, upping my gold miner exposure to 25%. I dare you to stand in front of my way. I’m inclined to rip your arms off and cut your torso in half with my samurai sword!

At any rate, I’ll be investing the balance of my 35% cash at the end of the day — because that’s what winners do.

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EXODUS WINS AGAIN

Big win, folks. But it’s nothing new. I’ve been bowling on you people since 2008 with my time machine. Some of you know and have joined, the lot of you are rotten to the core and depraved.

All you had to do was sit back and do nothing and let Exodus score the market and spit out a mean reversion signal. Even an idiot moron could make money off this.

Having gone thru the hostile environment of late 2018, nothing can fool Exodus now. It’s a fucking money making cock chopping machine straight from hell and it’s going to cut your dicks off if you get in its way.

Wait, scratch that. That’s horrible marketing material. Let me try it again.

Exodus is like the fucking moon landing, but real. It’s a fucking astronaut bouncing around on the moon, telling everyone on earth to “fuck off” because they’re not making history and feeling moon sand.

I think that’s better.

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Thoughts on Trump Trying to Destroy the Federal Reserve?

To be clear, we mostly despise the Fed and their tactics that have helped usher in economic volatility in the US, correct? I mean, Bernanke did save us, but then again Greenspan fucking ruined us. I always said the Fed was doing this shit on purpose. The 2008 financial crisis ended up being a giant land grab by big banks — fucking small players out of their investments.

Well, here we are with a sitting President actively shitting on the Fed, trying to both discredit and dismantled the institution. Thoughts on this?

You must admit, it’s going pretty well. Trump got the Fed to stop hiking and instead turn around and cut. I was worried that higher rates would apply pressure to distressed oil and gas assets, pushing down credits in junk bonds and perhaps causing another recession. In late 2018, it sure did look like the Fed was trying to kick leveraged loans down a fucking sewer pipe — but all of that has changed now.

In other news, a Nomura analyst is making headlines for making a retarded call, suggesting we’re barreling towards a ‘Lehman like’ sell off.

The rebound, supported by dip buying and technical positioning by speculative traders, is bound to be a short-lived one as market sentiment continues to deteriorate, Nomura strategist Masanari Takada says.

“We see the rebound in US stocks as a mere technical rally that looks like no more than a bump in the road on the way down,” Takada says.

The strategist garnered much attention this week for his call for a “Lehman-like” sell-off as soon as late August.

Everyone can fuck off. I sold ZS and OKTA today for 3% overnight success stories. I have 5 stocks that I want to buy — but will wait to buy them late in the day, in order to avoid any intra-day shenanigans.

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Futures Climb After Chinese Set Yuan Above $7.00

It’s the lowest level since 2008, but investors obviously felt it was benign enough to bid the market, the fuck, higher. I’m telling you right now, I’ve never been this fucking hot. I can’t lose money even if I tried.

Nasdaq futures are +30, yields higher, gold lower. It looks like a classic risk on day, which could get a little crazy. I hope you bought some shit before the bell and avoided shorts.

Truthfully, this whole Chinese nightly yuan fix is beyond asinine, but when has the market ever made sense?

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Market Reverses Like a Motherfucker Off the Lows

This is who I am pal — and you’re nothing.

My last 10 or so trades. Stop harassing me for ideas.

DRIP +11%
SOXS +8%
TZA+6%
HL +7%
PAAS +22%
IAG +20%
DRIP +2%
(TQQQ -3.8%)
SEDG +11.8%
HUBS +9.75%
(TVIX -7.3%)

This is a classic face rip close. Everything melted up. If you didn’t buy the close — you don’t like money and have no business around it. Trust me when I tell you, nothing can go wrong from here. Smooth sailing and Le Fly is the Captain.

Still holdings gold — because that’s what men do. But I’m also long a variety of new shit into the close. I bought 3 overnight trades, some SAAS another AI play. Bottom line: get comfortable with end of day trades, if you hate the intra day bullshit. We reversed off a 589 point decline today and lots of traders got shot in the face for it, yours truly included. I took a 7% loss in TVIX — hoping for a crash. Well guess what — it didn’t fucking work and now I’m long into tomorrow.

Let’s hope Trump steers clear of his fucking phone.

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More Evidence The Fed is Lost: Zerohedge Gets Email From FOMC for Research Report

What the fuck is going on here?

Tyler just put the Fed on blast.

Via ZH:

As we explained in detail, the main reason why the Fed should be concerned, is that according to a research report from BofA’s Marc Cabana which we used extensively in the report, the Fed may be forced to launch Quantitative Easing as soon as Q4 to provide the market with the much needed liquidity, or else suffer the consequences of a major liquidity shortage. To wit, in describing the various steps the Fed can engage in, this is what the BofA strategist said:

Outright QE: after OMO dealer capacity is exhausted the Fed may need to start permanently expanding its balance sheet. The Fed would likely describe this as offsetting “bank reserve demand and growth in other non-reserve liabilities”. Regardless, it would represent the Fed permanently buying USTs outright to maintain control of funding markets well above the ZLB.

Well, it appears that the Fed paid attention, because moments ago we received an email from a Federal Reserve researcher which should make everyone very, very nervous. Specifically, the “rather urgent request” from a Fed staffer (no, not Edward Quince) seeks the full Cabana report whose gist, as noted above, is that the Fed will have to launch QE4 in very short notice to offset the upcoming liquidity drain

Sigh.

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Sitting on Gold — Waiting For Late Stage Crash Off the Top

I made a stupid trade this morning, buying TVIX into the hell storm. It was an emotionally triggered trade and I ended up closing it out for a 7% loss. My losses have been few and far in between lately, sublimely position in gold and trading the inverses with supreme abilities. HOWEVER, I am cognizant of my where my strengths lie, which is more of a general direction trending market. The intra-day stuff has poleaxed me incredibly over the years and I’m mindful to be careful about falling back into the emotions of this game.

This is a game that requires extreme zen like concentration and a very steady hand. If you’re too soft or hard, you’ll bend and break. “The Fly” was made to trade markets, no matter how harmful or ebullient they might be.

Going forward, I’ll keep a large cash position, a permanent gold position, and intermittent trades that lean towards end of day.

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Light work: BOOK MONSTROUS GAINS INTO HELL

No big deal here. Booked a 12% gains in SEDG on the overnight ripper. I also ripped out a 10% gain in HUBS on yet another ripper. The Exodus Quant has been 15% allocated in gold — no big deal. Another no biggie is my position in MTCH — also purchased by the quant.

Also, I have 15% of my trading account long gold miners — all up handsomely.

It’s noteworthy to note I have a 55% cash position, not breaking a sweat, cool and collective — betting on a crash TODAY.

“Today you say?”

TODAY.

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The Extraordinary Danger of This Decline

Rates are collapsing this morning, with the 10yr touching down at 1.62%. Futures are -300 and gold is soaring above $1,500. While this might seem like an ordinary decline, it is anything but ordinary.

Since 2008, we’ve depended on the Federal Reserve to bail us out of jams. Whether you agree with the policies or not doesn’t matter. The reality is, the S&P bottomed at 666 in 2009 and we’ve been going up since then — mainly because of Fed policies to buttress markets. With Trump demanding the Fed acquiesce to his demands under the menace of being fired, the dynamic of the Fed being a holy and sanctimonious organization whose sole purpose is to be smart and place a bid in markets is now gone. Finished. They’ve been compromised and because of that, rendered persona non grata.

What sort of market will this be with the Fed being a non-player, simply abiding by a rank amateur Trump by slashing rates at record highs and then watching in horror as markets reel lower thanks to an acceleration of the US-China trade war?

Here’s Trump this morning, rendering the Fed even more useless and pathetic.

If you’re thinking markets will bounce back sharply because MUH BTFD — good luck. This time it’s different — because this time the Fed is off the table. Now we have Trump dictating foreign policy and Fed policy — pissed the fuck off after 3 years of inane Russiaphobia via Mueller, ebbing into an election campaign that is sure to be rife with disgusting rhetoric and emotions on tilt.

Watch for yields breaking below 1.5% towards record lows and keep a close eye on crude breaking $50 to the downside. Gold should be, inexorably, a staple in your portfolios, along with cash. Shorting below $180 on the Qs is a layup trade.

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