Market Crashes While I’m On Vacation — MAXIMUM HAPPENINGS

Apropos, isn’t it? I barely made it out of yesterday green and today the rug has been pulled, with the Dow on pace to plummet more than 600. I’ve been waiting for this moment since this whole COVID recovery began in April and I find it grotesquely odious that it should happen whilst I’m en route home from my mini vacation.

What more is there to say? The dollar is soaring, bonds are firm, commodities poleaxed, and stocks are getting skinned alive.

My best advice for the day is to avoid the temptation to buy everything at the open, while also avoiding the temptation to short into the hole. It’s entirely possible we bounce off the lows and then crash the close.

Be patient, trim losses when your stocks reach -5% and have your worst case scenario be something you can easily come back from.

We’re sending out Alpha trial invitations for Stocklabs today. A few things you should know about the platform, in comparison to Exodus.

Algorithms have been upgraded and improved. Everything is real time.
Data is exponentially faster and accurate.
Data feeds are all of the highest quality. Every detail combed over with fine tooth comb.
Innumerable new features, including portfolio management, custom indices, upgraded Pelican Room.
Hyper-fast volume tools that enable user to catch breakouts way before plebs.
Valuation tools for fundyFAGS that predict price targets based upon historical valuations using future estimates.

And a fuckload more.

We’ve taken great steps and expense to produce this product, a deep passion of mine. Most of you are keenly aware of my love for markets and creativity. I hope you will find this product to live up to the hype.

We’re not done adding features and after alpha we have nearly 10,000 beta users signed up, so it might be a full month or more before launch.

Prices will be tiered, but present Exodus users will get everything they receive now for current pricing. We have a pro version of Stocklabs priced higher. Details will follow in the coming weeks.

On the issue of oversold, Stocklabs is presently spitting out an oversold signal, which has been accurate recently for mean reversion.

Pardon the pic. I’m typing from my iPad.

This isn’t the crash that I was born to trade. This is a trap. The second you dive headlong into that oasis of blood in front of you, your head will split in two and your portfolio will be atomized.

During market squalls like these, it’s important to remember previous squalls and how all of them turned out. While this go around we’re all “on edge” due to the constant leaks of Hunter Biden dick pics by nefarious Chinese people with unknown agendas, the likelihood that a Biden admin would in fact neuter the Federal Reserve is next to zero.

This is America, the final chapter, the end of the empire — profligate spending edition. People will suffer and sacrifices will be made. But sex crazed perverts will still peruse the digital properties of MTCH and wealthy Americans will continue to snatch up prime real estate properties outside of cities.

I am flat for the day, trimmed a few badly performing stocks and replaced them with better ones. My quant is sharply higher, indicative of a strong under current in the tape.

It was supposed to be different. Le Fly embarked to Myrtle beach for the first time and expected something nice, as he is accustomed to top flight beach denizens in the northeast corridor of the United Steaks. Instead, he was entreated to small boys playing outside sewage pipes by the beach, water run off pipes festooned with flies and old people. Toothless men fishing at 1pm, most likely for supper. This place I am in is a shithole and I am trading a poorly performing market from it.

I was clubbed to death today, to the tune of 320bps. It was worse, but I pulled off some gains towards the end of the session with purchases. I cut my losses on any stock at 5% and fixated on macro exposure via ETFs for overnight holds.

My MTD gains have been SHAVED to just 1.4%.

What does it all mean? Where are we heading?

Higher.

Trump only has the market and Hunter Biden’s dick pics now. We are now scraping the bottom of the political trash bin and we should expect more of the same for the next two weeks: riggings and dick pics, in that order.

I arrived late last night because my fucking dog sitter canceled on me last minute, so I had to scramble and find a new one. The venue is spectacular, due to the refinement of the beach front property that I am staying at. However, overall, Myrtle Beach is, inexorably, a shit hole. Lots of tourist nonsense and places of ill repute. While here, I will keep myself away from all that and be sure to only leave when en route to fine dining.

Markets wise, things cannot be worse. The Dow is fucking crashing thru thru floorboards and I am hooked and flat footed, presently down 250bps. I have since pared off several positions and have increased cash to 25%. I also feel very uneasy about trading during vacation, due to my wife wanting to kill me for it. I might sneak in a few today, however, since things are so active. But it looks bleak out there.

I suspect the Nasdaq has more to fall —- but again I am reticent to attempt to play this now, so I will resort to dip buying.

I depart for Myrtle Beach tomorrow, at the behest of Mrs. Fly who wants to mix it up for the sake of the kids. Being home, locked up, schooling from their computers is depressing. I could only imagine how dreadful that would be as a teen, especially since Teen Fly was most accustomed to chasing members of the opposite sex around the hallways all day long. I realize kids these days are all gay, or indifferent to sex, but still. I imagine there has to be some sort of downside to not being able to share anime with friends in person — or perhaps sharing the latest K-pop drops.

I’ve never been to Myrtle Beach, so I have no idea what to expect — but expectations are of course low. I didn’t book a hotel — because they all are very low quality there — so I reserved someone’s house via Airbnb.

I’ll probably trade a little, but not much. Presently, our German offices are working at getting out the Stocklabs alpha trials. It was ready to be sent today, but I nixed it because there are features not fixed yet. I might give the green light tomorrow. After we get alpha feedback, I will send out the beta trials in increments, since we have almost 10k signed up — it might take some time to get everyone in.

Plans for today entail packing, preparing to drop off the fucking dogs, and extending my leisure.

I recovered all of earlier losses, with very little trading, because the universe reached back and grabbed me by my lips and tossed me forward, as a gentleman of my stature and circumstance should. It wasn’t easy watching the market do nothing throughout the day, but I managed to remain entertained through a little of this, and a little of that.

Note of importance: nothing stops the pressure higher. However, if you’re trading today’s hot stock — you are literally playing financial roulette. There has been a rotation into more macro oriented plays. If you don’t believe me, look at CLF, X and other big industrials. Fact of the matter is, momentum stocks are no longer pistol hot. Recognize that you’ve been climbing a slippery wall of feces and fall back into the bosom of the market — grab macro exposure and let the rippers populate a minor part of your exposure.

I closed out the week down nearly 200bps, making that two bad weeks in a row. However, I am still up 5% for the month and possess an unreal mind for this business and will, without question, outstrip you. You might try to do better than me, but you’ll fall flat on your fucking faces — as you should.

Gone are the days of Le Fly day trading for sport and pleasure — in are the days of Gentleman Fly, who is of course BOOZE FREE, positioning into the marketplace with both style and grace, leisurely perusing the markets and losing coin with panache.

I will be back to trading soon enough — but for now I am opting for a more “broad spectrum” approach, whereby I hold a pastiche of large cap stocks and trade around them with runners. For today, such a stratagem has yielded a -0.8% return. Of course I am angry at this loss and curse some of the stocks that got me here, but I am never seen losing my cool or acting in a way that is counter-Gentleman.

Yes, I have pared down some positions, those underperforming and yes I am actively looking for new stocks to fulfill my fixation on change. But I’m not going to pare down to a large cash position and solely rely upon my trading prowess for returns right now. Franky, that is no way to live a life and it burns you out fast. The net result of a portfolio of ghastly firecrackers is ruin and cataclysm, in that order. It tethers you non-stop to the screen, sears your fucking eyeballs straight out from your head, and keeps you dancing on the tip of a needle — because the second you walk away — BAM! your shit is down a quick 25%.

No thanks and fuck you.

Gentleman Fly comports himself in a manner that is consistent with modern trading etiquette from the very best people in America.

Into the slow drawing molasses hours of 1-3pm I intend to WALK THE FUCKING DOGS, grab a bite, casually glance at the monitor whilst reading a fine book. If motivated, purchase some equities, and then go back to reading my book. I might even, if I might be so bold, smoke my estate pipe and eat a piece of pumpkin pie.

I have discarded my day trading ways and now conduct myself as I’ve always had — an extreme gentleman of the most profound and gregarious proportions. I closed out four trades today (DDD +8.4%, ZI -6.66%, GRWG +3.1%, and GDRX +3.5%) and simply sat back and watched my portfolio, built with great stocks, edge higher.

Today’s gains were +120bps and my recent additions were mostly in the oil space.

Presently, I have just consumed an avocado toast and will depart for tennis for an hour of practice. I have nothing to concern myself with because I realize my position is solid, cock-strong even, and nothing in this universe can stop me.

Good day.

I grew up in the tar sands of Brooklyn, a little known enclave out in east Flatbush. While on the oil derricks, I’d look out into the ruinous landscape and dream of one day becoming a hot shot stockbroker on Wall Street. Now that I am a professional blogger, shit-poster on Twitter, master and commander of a trading room/software executive, I pine for the days of when I was an oil man. Deep down, I’ve always been an oil man, always will be, ever since the day I was born. When oil was negative 70 dollars per barrel a few months ago, I felt devastated for all of the families out in Brooklyn who were probably resorting to armed robberies instead of horizontal drilling for heavy sour crude — just to feed their families.

I gaze upon the market today and see nothing that I like, except for oil. Being nearly fully invested, I could only afford one pipeline play for now, but will look to acquire more as I pare down some of these positions.

A quick recap: I have done the opposite of what I wanted to do, going all in on large caps, leaving me with only a few active trading positions. I sold one of them this morning, DDD +8.1%.

Thus far, I am tracking the NASDAQ, off by 32bps today; but I am still optimistic for happenings.

US 10yr is +3bps to 0.844% and Ethereum is $414. As you know, I allocate a percentage of my income into ETH each and every month and will continue to do so for the next two years. I view the largest systematic risk to me in my lifetime as THE FUCKING COLLAPSE OF THE DOLLAR, due to everything that is wrong with this country. Ergo, cryptos is a fine hedge against that. You can do gold; but then again — you can’t do shit with gold. It’s not transactional you boomer fucking retards.