Do I Have Your Attention?

Apparently, we were offline again. I had Vincezo fixing the servers with a hammer and screwdriver. He was saying some shit about a few loose screws. Nonetheless, for now, the site is operational. I know this must be of great inconvenience to you, not being able to “learn up” from “The Fly” on a minute by minute basis.

Tough fucking luck. Deal with it.

As for the markets:

I am making “extreme coin” on all of my bank shorts, especially [[CSE]] and [[BBT]]. Look at BBT’s balance sheet and come back here, with a straight face, and tell me they’re not fucked. I’ll punch your fucking eyebrows off for less.

Things do not feel right. The banks are dropping so fast, it’s alarming.

Look at [[JPM]], [[STI]], [[RF]], [[CMA]], [[FITB]], [[WFSL]], [[MS]], [[LM]], [[C]] and [[BAC]]. With all this carnage in the banks, I’ll be shocked to see the market hold up here. I’m selling with both hands.

Right now, aside from iBC server problems, I am  selling short [[EWBC]], [[WTFC]], BBT and CSE with impunity—based on valuation. Also,  as always, I like [[FTK]] and [[RIG]] here.

“The computer is a moron”.

–Peter Drucker

Click here for full story.

I sold short 30,000 [[EWBC]] @ $8.65, 5,000 [[CSE]] @ $14.70 and 5,000 [[SNV]] @ $8.80.

Disclaimer: If you sell short the above names, Bernanke will lower rates to 0%. And, you may lose money.

As you know, this Godly site was down all day, due to an unseemly event. Apparently, Vincezo (iBC’s 2nd tier IT guy) took an early lunch and left his bowl of pasta and gravy on the iBC servers. In addition, he left an open bottle of red vino on the adjacent shelf, directly above our server. In an odd twist of fuckery, the wine bottle fell off the shelf, onto the bowl of pasta and sauce, making a fucking mockery of our technology— effectively short circuiting our servers.

I’ll have you know, Vincenzo has been fined and told to never bring gravy into the cold room again.

In other news, I covered my entire [[CATY]] short, for a quick 13% profit, overnight. And, I sold out most of my stupid [[UB]] position.

In addition, I initiated a short position in [[EWBC]]. Those fuckers deserve to be drilled. I see the stock hitting high 4’s, by July 4th.

It looks like the market is trying to rally here, with financials paring losses. I will not buy into this crock o’ shit. Instead, I will sell short more, at higher prices—God willing.

Finally, I heard another rumor about [[MVIS]] yesterday. But, I refuse to share it, since this “source” has sucked balls, for about 1 year and counting.

Top picks: [[FTK]], short [[EWBC]]

I sold 10,000 [[UB]] @ $42.60.

I covered my [[CATY]] short, buying 5,000 @ $11.79.

This is getting ridiculous already.

By the way, the floods in the mid-west will adversely affect the numbers out of both [[LNN]] and [[VMI]]. I forgot to tell you about that yesterday.

Thus far, the banks are being blow-the-fuck-out, partly thanks to [[FITB]] (nice call Jakegint). However, as you know, the problem is much bigger than that. Even great banks, like [[UB]], are being hit.

The good news is, my new short positions in [[CATY]], [[WTFC]] and [[PACW]] are working like whores of the night.

The bad news is, my stupid UB position is being jelly knocked. For now, I will hold it and endure the losses, like a fucking man.

Some quick ideas:

Get long [[RIG]], it’s ripping.

In addition, I like all of my bank shorts here, especially “The Five Reverse Horseman” of death and financial Armageddon, via [[FED]], [[DSL]], [[CORS]], [[FHN]] and [[PACW]].

Hat tip to Boomer

“A very nasty period is soon to be upon us – be prepared,” said Bob Janjuah, the bank’s credit strategist.

Have a goodnight, fuckface. See you in the morning.

The moon and the sun are now realigned, enabling “The Fly” to bank coin without distractions.