iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,316 Blog Posts

Trade Like a Caveman

In markets like this, it hurts to use cognitive thinking. Instead, you’re better off taking a large club (mouse) and start beating (buying) down stocks, in order to store them in your cave (portfolio).

With my money, I’m just throwing good money into a fucking “inferno of fun,” by shorting stocks.

With all of the bad news, the market barely budged. Fucking hilarious.

[[WM]], [[LEH]], [[MS]], [[MER]] and even [[GS]] should trade significantly lower over the next few months, much to Guy Adami’s chagrin.

All day, banana eating cavemen were just storing basic material stocks in their fucking caves, pushing up the prices of filthy coal and ag stocks.

I must say, the appetite for risk is abundant. However, keep in mind, investors always take toss ups, prior to a swift deballing. When the frothiness is apparent, most of the time, it’s time to sell short.

In closing, “The Fly” booked mild gains today, on the backs of [[WM]], [[SRS]] and [[SKF]]. Maybe over the next week or so, those fucking bastards in the [[SMN]] will start bending to my will.

Top Pick: [[SSG]] If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

47 comments

  1. Cajun

    life takes visa

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  2. CAP

    The market is a whore with her legs spread wide open . The bears are like old men waiting for the Viagra to kick in . Perhaps someone needs to give them a penis pump .

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  3. JakeGint

    Are we scheduled for any ugly earnings announcements this evening?

    I’m trying to dispel my red-tinged rage miasma.

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  4. Caveman

    Fly make market too complicated. Caveman no understand why Fly fight with market, like caveman fight with tiger in woods, prior to caveman having throat slashed.

    (Caveman spend two weeks trying understand “inverse ETF”. Like child that get bigger when not eat. Caveman have trouble with this.)

    Although magic numbers box generally frighten and confuse caveman, caveman smart enough to know that green means “good”, like growing vegetable, and red means BAD BAD BAD!!! (caveman frighten self with that last one.. okay caveman, it’s just picture in head, not real).

    Saw crazy bald caveman on TV, him smart, speak language caveman understand. Caveman know, market only go up, from now on. This time different.

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  5. BnD

    Guy Adami is a tool. He recommended MSFT to a ’35 handle’ today. His portfolio must be -25384% for the year already.

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  6. wow

    Fast Money has jumped the shark starting in March, we get it, you all have MSFT, just rotates who says it each night.

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  7. Frankenstein

    Green like vegetable… gooooood.

    Red like FIRE! Bad! Fire Bad!!

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  8. Mr Magoo

    I was so happy to see two handsome devils who who look alot like me discussing economic issues with each other on CNBC.

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  9. Caveman

    Frankenstein: caveman be honest with you. Caveman like your style. Frankenstein succeed in this market, have right attitude. Care to come on board caveman hedge fund, opening later in year?

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  10. WallStreetLurker
    WallStreetLurker

    Jake:
    Today’s AH action:

    AGL Angelica Corp. Q4 2008 $0.24
    CNBKA Century BanCorp Inc. N/A
    EZEM E-Z-EM, Inc. N/A
    ESIO Electro Scientific Industries Inc. Q4 2008 $0.14
    MIND Mitcham Industries Inc. Q4 2008 $0.28
    ZZ Sealy Corp. Q1 2008 $0.12
    SHI Sinopec Shanghai Petrochemical Company Ltd.

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  11. Frankenstein

    Caveman hedge fund have pretty girl?

    Blond hair pretty girl?

    Mmmmmmmm…

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  12. lol

    I want to loan guy adami money and shares and go on reverse margin. If he buys 100 shares, I’ll short it, if he shorts it, I’ll buy it, If he goes on margin, I’ll loan him the money, and he can just pay me back everything he has…
    Then again, I’d have to “seize” all his worthless assets, and he’d lose money before he’d be able to ever pay me back.

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  13. Tarzan

    Me join as principal partner too?

    Jane take dictation!

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  14. caveman cramer

    Me go Boo Yah!, Me Crazy, Me Eat Money, and crap out stock!

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  15. CHIEF BULGING WALLET
    CHIEF BULGING WALLET

    How.

    Chief stay in bead and shell. No trade. Eagle wing say storm come soon. Spirit Cloud dark on horizon. No wampum. No peace pipe. Storm come soon. Protect bead and shell. Keep them dry.

    Time to rest. Summer of discontent approaching.

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  16. cdt2001

    So fly … what’s with the little MVIS PicoP displaying the IBC “logo”? You still have MVIS in the die stock die, die, die, die camp?

    I’m sure the move today, and overall move since last week’s CTIA must of sparked your attention. No “non-position” comments???

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  17. a

    Where’s all the bullshit “tax selling” these fuckers drop on me whenever I play the bull side in spring. Now that I’m short nobody needs to pay taxes?

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  18. ottnott

    LEH deflating after hours.

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  19. Caveman

    Frankenstein: Caveman laugh at Frankenstein. Caveman have more bitches than caveman know what do with. Can spare one or two blonde. Caveman pleased to have Frankenstein on team. With lack of normal brain, Frankenstein perfect to manage $20 billion quant fund.

    Tarzan: Sorry Tarzan, trademark Tarzan yell frighten caveman, make caveman drop latte. Tarzan can open own hedge fund, cross trades with Caveman, manipulate market together.

    Chief: Lay off peace pipe. Storm already priced in. This time different. Recession created by liberals on magic talking picture box. Chief need to put beads to work in market, or get left behind when train leaves station (caveman not know what any of those words mean).

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  20. CubsRock

    UPS warning after hours only means only thing, gap higher in the morning. Stocks are for asshats.

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  21. Helicopter Ben

    The Fed Board could use a caveman. Do you have any experience clubbing currencies?

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  22. Frankenstein

    RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

    Big Chief use preposition!!

    RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

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  23. Trannie the $TRANsvestite
    Trannie the $TRANsvestite

    Oyyy!

    Oy let chou down, Chivas, Oym sawry!

    How kin oy make it up to yooo-hooo?

    Oy jus’ wish you-pee-ess wadn’t SUCH a big part o’ me, y’know??

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  24. C. Aveman, Esq.
    C. Aveman, Esq.

    Gentlemen, I have been so wildly successful in the equity markets that I was able to afford a hot bath, a close shave, and some lessons in your modern language. Although lacking the panache of caveman grunts and gesticulations, I admit English does enhance discourse with a peculiar efficiency.

    I’ve learned that the “magic numbers box” is actually called a “computer” running “trading software”, and simply by watching CNBC I have mastered its intricacies to a degree that would confound the cleverest among you.

    I’d love nothing more than to stick around and discuss important matters with you, such as how to best diversify a substantial net worth, but I must bid you farewell, leaving you only with the following bon mot: Making money in this market is so simple, even a— oh heavens, you know the rest.

    Adieu!

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  25. Tonto

    Many moons ago, Leaping Jackass come out of Golden desert.

    Him wear pussy on face, make chiefs and squaws alike laugh.

    Him say: Buy! Buy! Buy!

    Him say: Sell! Sell! Sell!

    Even papoose laugh.

    Him have magic box, make noise like brother Bull and sister Cow.

    Lately, dark spirit– spirit of brother Weasel– come over Leaping Jackass.

    Big Chief thinking, maybe best for Tribe — throw Leaping Jackass off cliff.

    All will laugh, no matter.

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  26. JakeGint

    Lurker, thanks… I think the UPS news trumps those little guys, even though it looks like some of them, too, shat the shower.

    Whew… I was sweating a large covered call position I sold some time ago on this sucker. Looks like I’ll be able to buy them back tomorrow at a substantial discount…

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  27. TraderCaddy

    Some impressive creative writings going on here in the after hours. The only thing missing is Calvino and his musings.

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  28. JakeGint

    Adding to $TRANnie’s woes, both FDX and JBHT are down after hours as well.

    If $TRANnie stays “up” after this news, I will know it’s time to seek out a glass of merlot.

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  29. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    I hate to take about the real world when everyone is living in fantasy right now but I did a fuckload of calling today to check on job conditions. Just let me say people are scared shitless. Venture caps are telling companies to trim everything. Employees are being cut like mad. Honestly I usually have fun on this site but as I stand here on this train I am telling you the most serious truth. Take it for what its worth, watch your job and money.

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  30. WallStreetLurker
    WallStreetLurker

    Sorry there Jake

    Didn’t copy down far enough. Must have missed that one

    Anyone know whats up with LEH, AH? I am having trouble finding info on its AH action

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  31. Alvari40

    Doesn’t answer why LEH is down; however, WM secured 7 Billion of private equity. I said before that we needed to stay nimble here at downtrend resistence. The push down today was feeble. Is this WM information enough to spark a fire under the ass of the market in the morning? Naz futures up 5, S&P up 4. Hold on. Try to grab some after hour ETFs to secure a pop into the open. I don’t usually do this, but I just picked up LEH and XLF for a morning pop. I thinned out my long exposure expecting a drop, but alas it didn’t happen.

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  32. TraderCaddy

    I show no AH news on LEH and the price shows 42.75-.90 with a last trade of 42.88 as of 6:48 PM. Most of the AH news in financials is about C being able to unload a bunch of paper at a little less than .90 on the dollar. IMO this is bullish for the AM for financials. We shall see.

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  33. JakeGint

    Lung Sac,

    Where’ve you been? That info’s been out all day. Since yesterday, in fact. That’s why she was up $3.00+ … yesterday.

    Today, she’s down $1.40.

    Did you get caught in Fly’s time machine or something?

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  34. Alvari40

    Jake,

    That’s what happens when I listen to Floyd all day while daytrading. What a fucking tool.

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  35. wow

    caddy, it’s only bullish in the most recent method of responding to news “let’s pretend it’s all good news!”. they aren’t unloading any toxic CDO type paper here, this is unloading their quality paper at a loss for a potential “good news announcement” during what is sure to be a shithole of a quarter for them.

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  36. chivasontherocks
    chivasontherocks

    Jake,

    start seeking out a good bottle, and i will send to you. lol.

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  37. chivasontherocks
    chivasontherocks

    trannie the transvestite

    FUCK YOU

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  38. TraderCaddy

    wow- The one piece of news that I thought was strange in the AH was the possible investment by Dubai in DELL. Why would they need it unless DELL was in trouble? The AH market took it as good news. Any thoughts?

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  39. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Looks like Cramer is really hammering the news on WM. Fly I know you feel really good about it going under 10. I assume you still feel this way?

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  40. Ahab the Arab

    What is your problem, Crusadah?

    You think mebbe we only buy the race horses from you?

    No no no no no no no no no no no!

    We need to check the online pohn-sites too, you know!

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  41. $TRANNIE

    Oww Chivas, yah makes me blush!

    But not tonight, dahlin’, I’ve got a pain in some o’ me components, if yah knows whot I mean?

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  42. wow

    I don’t really follow Tech and not really a daytrader so it could be good for a pop i guess, but there’s something fundamentally wrong with a company that needs that type of investment.

    Everyone seems enamored with these Sovereign Wealth Funds… but I don’t get it, what the fuck did they do for their money? Because we’re stupid enough to lust for oil doesn’t make them great financiers.

    With that said, long-term, not a big fan of Dell as a growth company… to survive they need to continue to be the cheapo computer maker for the masses (as i type on my cheapo Dell laptop), which means crappy margins, low profits and in a recession…pfft not for me.

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  43. Asshat Dip Buyer
    Asshat Dip Buyer

    Fear, Loathing and Hubris in New York City—A cautionary tale.

    (Fly, please don’t pull a Seth Tobias on us.)

    The Fly in a reflective moment:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltiY-BqvOIU&NR=1

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  44. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Hey Fly what can a triangle do for me?

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  45. jeff

    Citi hands it off to Blackstone to launder the opium money

    Off to the watch tower.

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  46. TheScareCrow

    Caveman, I’m an excellent candidate for a hedge fund. You see, I haven’t got a brain, therefore I let nothing sway me from my instinctive decision making process. Sometimes I may need to be propped up in front of the magic box and I have an abhorant fear of fire or cigarettes but aside from that I’m a free thinker. Where can I apply?

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