BEHOLD: Elections

The candidates that will replace Gunners are being sorted through, “as we speak.” Last minute applicants will be denied, unless of course you know “The Fly” personally.

The elections will be set for May 6th, 2008—the same day the retards go vote for Obama or Clinton in Indiana.

Until then, I expect there will be some “campaigning” in the Peanut Gallery.

Remember, it is a one day poll, scheduled for May 6th, that will determine who will join the Godly folks over at iBC—tab, revenue split and all.

NOTE: Tabbed bloggers do not receive excess coke.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-ousNF7scg 450 300]

All day, I gleefully kicked old men down empty elevator shafts. As you know, old men are bears. “The Fly” is neither old or bearish. As a matter of fact, he is young and bullish—who drinks large quantities of Monster Energy soda and eats massive amounts of greasy chicken wings.

In case you are worried, “The Fly” has a rapid metabolism, which enables him to do such egregious things, without him looking like a fucking meatball.

It’s time to buy [[HANS]] again. I’ll have you know, “The Fly” is Lord Supreme Commander of Hansen Naturals share price and has made truckloads of newly minted euros trading it.

For the summer, I will be going long HANS, in large quantities, and milking those who bet against it.

Also, I threw a few dice at the table, buying [[OMNI]] and [[LEH]].

Frankly, the financials are where money will flock, as everything else “appears” to be pricey. Look for good balance sheets and huge short positions as fuel for your fire.

I’ll have you know, over the weekend, “The Fly” will be grilling sword steaks and 2 1/2 inch thick rib eyes, in anticipation of future Godly market gains.

I’m out.

UPDATE: Before I left, I bought the lazy fuckers from [[LAZ]]

I bought 5,000 [[HANS]] @ 33.35, 10,000 [[OMNI]] @ $5.04 and 1,000 [[LEH]] @ $47.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, your local oil driller will spill oil in your local water supply. And, you may lose money.

Let’s face it already. Oil is not going to $225 by 2012, like that Oppenheimer analyst predicted. It’s going to $400 by 2010!

Nothing will stop the transfer of wealth, from west to east. Know that and understand your stupid existence is gay. There is nothing you or your meaningless friends can do about it.

So, why not profit off the death of the car?

Short [[GM]] or [[F]]?

Betting against automobile makers, especially American, seems to be a cogent long term investment strategy. Or, sell short [[CLMT]], producer of jet fuel. As you know, all airlines go to zero.

On the long side, just own [[RIG]], [[NOV]] and other oil drilling plays. However, own the big ones. The smaller players get phased out, eventually.

Also, there is a whole list of oil plays that never trade lower, like [[ARD]], [[CWEI]] and [[OXY]].

Then you have the natural gas stocks. Personally, I hate natty. We have an unlimited amount of that shit. Any spike in natty is a result of pure manipulation. Regardless, stocks like [[CHK]], [[SWN]], [[ECA]] and [[UPL]] have enriched their shareholders this year.

However, seeing the fervor in natty, I am not against scalping a few trades.

My watch list includes:

Separate from oil, I think [[LFC]] and [[CHL]] are too extended at these levels. In other words, long [[CTRP]] and [[FXP]] works for me.

“The Fly” was somewhat concerned that the “deflationary pressures,” brought on by the Fed’s tight monetary policy, might suck the oil producers dry—sending a barrel of oil under a mind numbing $115—until today.

Indeed, those pesky little Iranian fuckers, with their boats, must be taught a lesson.

I propose a full scale invasion, led by a battalion of internet bloggers and retired attorneys.

As you can see by now, all of “The Fly’s” recent moves have been masterful. All of my new banking stocks are up, while the nefarious bastards from China see their stocks trade down—allowing [[FXP]] to reinflate.

However, at the same time, [[CTRP]] is up!

A glorious day awaits “The Fly,” sometime soon.

For now, I am a big bull on all banks. [[AXP]] had kickass numbers, so will everyone else.

Remember, the more money the banks lose—the better.

Top pick: CTRP

In memorial of Gunners, iBC presents:

THE GUNNERS MEMORIAL LIBRARY FOR ADVANCED EGREGIOUS STUDIES

Indeed.

Qualifications:

You must be willing to blog with passion and have a modicum of intelligence. Your pay will be 50/50 split on adsense and percentage of total iBC revenue, based upon traffic stats.

Personally, I know a few people in the Peanut Gallery worth choosing. For those who have an interest, no fucking joke, find my fucking email address and contact me, else I’ll just tell Mr. Bilderberg to have one of his char-wallah’s blog instead.

In other news, here is a video clip of “Hollywood ‘shedder” performing with that new music group of his:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RzRi-yaEJI 450 300]

I have important matters to look after, so this quick note will have to suffice as today’s closing comments.

As you know, “The Fly” has snapped, causing him to allocate large amounts of appreciating dollars into financial stocks. I just like them. No rhyme. No reason.

Just today, I received multiple unsolicited buy orders for ridiculous banks. Normally, I’d fight the counter-party, in order to stop such transactions—but not today.

No, today everything changed. From here on, bank executives will be eating their mashed potatoes with gravy, as opposed to plain with salt.

I had to reshuffle many things.

For example: I trimmed back some [[SRS]] and covered all of my shorts, except [[POT]].

In addition, right now I have zero [[SKF]], zero gold and no bets against the consumer.

Despite what the coffee fags from [[SBUX]] say, the American consumer is on fire or “en fuego”— if you prefer a little latin flavor.

In closing, “The Fly” is well on his way to great success and unparalleled command of the U.S. and global stock markets.

Top pick: MER