18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,387 Blog Posts


Greetings and Salutations,

Before you get a chance to perish from COVID-19 or the COVID-19 cure, why not take a gander at the grandiosity of the Stocklabs market intelligence platform? It is filled with wondrous toolz, volume analytics and lightening fast algorithms that make your trading platform looks like a kindergarten kitchen set where you pretend to bake cookies.

Listen to me, this Thursday, The QuarterMaster of Stocklabs will be hosted a live Demo via Zoom. You’re all very used to Zoom now because you never leave the house, so it should not be a problem. Many of you were customer of Exodus and figured “meh, maybe it’s a little bit better — not interested.”


The good folks at iBankCoin SLAVED on the coding plantation for two years building this shit, crafting it into a day and swing traders dream platform, also populated by the largest group of trader/degenerates you’ve ever seen in one place, at The Pelican Trading Room.

Since my programmer is in Germany and is likely dreaming of sausages and beer now, I am accepting invite requests via email for now. We will accept the first 100, so be sure to email me if interested at [email protected]

The event will be this Thursday from 7pm to 8pm.

See you there fucked faces.

Comments »

Bullish, At Least Temporarily

I closed +195bps, with a monster sized position in CLOV. The market didn’t “gun the close” and I did promise to “cut my dick off and eat it” if it didn’t; but I’m gonna go ahead and reneg on that shit — so fuck yourself.

Although markets were soft and uneventful from an index point of view, the under-currents were robust, especially in small capped names.

Some custom indexes in Stocklabs and their performance.

Crypto derivatives: +3.9%
Meme stocks +3.87%
2021 Market Meltdown stocks: +3.4% (Bill Huang names)
Biden Plays: +2.6%
Lithium: +2.4%
NFTs: +2.3%

As you can see, those sub-indexes showed meaningful returns. If you’re gonna trade and do it well — you need to be fucking informed. Stop bitching about the market and being as victim. Listen to me, be dominant and assert your will.


Comments »


Breadth is just 50% but all of the right stocks are traveling higher. I stand before you renewed and invigorated with gains of +2.7%. I am about 60% cash, because all good traders trade with half their money invested almost always, and I am actively pursuing new deals that could propel me above 3%.

I was thinking CXDC might’ve been that name, or perhaps CLOV, and they might still be those stocks to bust loose. I am wary of reversals — but feeeeeeel pretty good about the market today — due to the outperformance of nostalgic plays, which is bound to get OGs back into the mix into the close.

NEW IBC MERCH just dropped in our merch store — so be sure to wear the latest fashions for this fall.

Bluntly, we gun the close, else I’ll cut my dick off and eat it.

Comments »


Stocks are popping off like its Jan 2021 again. Next thing you know, Motherfucker Chamath will appear on Twitter flexing his chest muscles again — displaying those bread stick legs of his. I have a mind for this sort of sordid tape and see we’re cooking with grease now.

Rather easily, I am +225bps, which is nothing in comparison to some degenerates out there. Nevertheless, I see all of the finest stocks moving today, from cryptos to EV to meme stocks. Tomorrow is not guaranteed — but today is absolutely happening.

My plans: get the fuck in that market with all of my might and gusto and drink its milkshake.

Comments »

Stocklabs Market Timing Greatness; Thoughts on Ethereum

I’m gonna do a brief rundown of the past week and also touch upon ETH and its squeeze higher. For the week, as you can see from the image below the top stock plays were crypto derivatives — names like MSTR, SI, RIOT and FTFT — thanks to risk on in cryptos. Second was GARP (growth at a reasonable price) and we also had COVID-19 related stocks do well, thanks in large part to more fear mongering by our pharaohs.

Losers were oil frackers, short squeeze plays and risk averse stocks to a back seat to growth.

My favorite new tool inside Stocklabs is out Intelligence algorithm, which is declaring a very bullish position for the overall market now. The data below is our algo crossed against the SPY, backtested over the past 6 months — showing a 100% win rate for a 10 day hold and a gain of 1.75%.

My vehicle of profit is in TNA now, upside small caps — which is very likely to continue higher next week and in fact outperform large caps. We just hit oversold last week, once again nailing the bottom to the exact day.

And here is the oversold stats for TNA, on a 6 month backtest.

It feeeeels different now with ETH burning higher (double entendre alert!). I know I’ve been saying ETH would trade higher for what seems like forever — but in reality its only been 1.5 years. It is the best performing asset out there and you ought to be patient with it when it drops. Just last week it was below $2,000 and now it’s above $3000, looking like it wants more.

Our pharaohs have desperately tried to dissuade us from buying into cryptos, first maligning it as nerd money, then stupidity, and then criminal. The idea that all people can get behind something and almost completely agree on its concepts, in spite of religion or political background, frightens them. Crypto is pure populism and fuck the Fed and all of the trimmings that come with it — freedom from financial oppression and the blockchain is just a superior place to record transactions. Sure there is froth and this recent NFT buzz is of course stupid. But we’re in there beginning stages now and I suspect your grandkids will own BTC and ETH, so you might as well get used to it.

Number one question on your mind is “would you buy here?”

Yes and I would buy more every month for the next year.


NOTE: Citizen Squared with another great recap on Stocklabs. Sub to the channel to learn more about using our toolz.

Comments »

Putting On a Smile

I shed 99bps today due to poor trading. For the week and for the month, I am now up 0.9%. I’d like to be up more and I would’ve liked today to be something extraordinary — but it wasn’t.

I shed 15.5% in my YOLO account due to an 200% leveraged position in AGQ. This is how black swan events happen. The reason I took the trade, mostly, is because I had been up 13% for the month. Now that account, which is about 1/10th the size of my trading, is down 6%. This doesn’t spell disaster and I have since closed out the AGQ position and chalked it up to a boneheaded move that will now serve as yet another lesson to avoid leverage into overnight trades that was already itself risky. Simply put, I got greedy and now have to work extra hard to make up for the losses.

The bigger news now is ETH on a rampage, fast approving $3k. With the new London HARD FORK, ETH are being burned. Thus far, over 5500 have been burned. This is causing a squeeze and I expect the price to ascend past $3k in short order. With it, BTC will dragged kicking and screaming. I like crypto derivative plays for a Monday pop, specifically BTBT, EQOS and MOGO.

Lastly, I had traded out of CELH and YOU and now bought them back. I will trade intra-day when they pop — but generally speaking — I want to remain long both of these stocks for the rest of 2021.

Have a good weekend.

Comments »


As fate would have it, I went long AGQ in my suicide account at 200% leverage and now find myself thinking and behaving like Peter Schiff — wondering about the specter of wonderful inflation and how very soon all of you will be poor once your fiat currency collapses and bread is no longer sold at the store — for fear of harboring rapidly depreciating dollars. The entire world is on the verge of collapse, and of course all want the safe haven comforts of SOLID METAL in their hands — gold and silver bars to hold and cherish until wilted away like a piece of lettuce due to starvation.

I find myself to be most inappropriate now, justifying the grandiose stupidity of the trade, CAPSIZED for -14% at the present in the much smaller YOLO account that I manage. Fortunate for me, I am merely down 90bps in my grander, most eloquent account — which is bad too — especially given the circumstances of how WONDROUS And SUBLIME this tape is. I’d rather stick my head into the blades of a helicopter than being forced to manage money in this SHIT the rest of my life — dare I say.

My plans for the balance of the day is to eventually sell AGQ, move on, and attempt to bring my trading account back to green. I’d been struggling recently, not exactly crushing it nor losing either but rather middle of the road milquetoast performance. Something must give — but the way to change and bust loose is not becoming an indescribably obtuse gold bug, clamoring for collapses and burnings of the fiat. I will repent for my sins — accept my lumps like a man, and sin no more going forward.

All praise the holy dollar and also ETH!

Comments »


I will keep this brief, mainly because I do not FEEEEEEEEEEEL like blogging, since everyone seems to be making so much more than me. I toil and try and then I toil again — and all I have to show for it is +0.94% for the session. It is not FAIR that I am to mingle amongst the proletariat, enduring mediocre returns, all the while some FUCKERS out there make 38% for the day. Should I attempt to make 38% for the day, as Zeus is my witness, I shall be stricken down like the plague and cast out into the sea to drift endlessly until I die of thirst.

I am and always will be a servant to the market.

That being said, I like silver and reflation trades — because rates are heading up again. As long as rates head up, then inflation plays are good. Both gold and silver are incredibly stupid assets — but even stupid shines every so often.

I ended with 43% cash, doubled sized position in YOU — because New World Order and all of its trimmings by Fall.

Comments »

Bet Against Stocklabs, Lose Your Legs

There are very few certainties in life. One is getting your legs sawed off betting against our mean reversion oversold signals in Stocklabs. We’ve been bowling on haters since 2007, so believe me when I tell you nothing has changed.

SL OS meets a mandatory and obligatory TNA purchase, which was bought with my entire YOLO account yesterday and sold first thing in the morning for nearly +3%.

Are we done?

No, probably not.

The rally is strong, broad based, and heavily concentrated in small caps which is where the people reside.

Comments »

Our New Problem Is Deflation

Your stimmy checks are gone and soon the UNVAXXED will be FIRED from their jobs and not qualify for unemployment. The specter of harrowing COVID-19 looms and the bond market is telling you to urinate your trousers.

While I spit on the people who tell me to get the vaccine, I much prefer to die of natural causes thank you very much; I’d be reticent if I didn’t mention that I believe the COVID Delta variant is something to avoid. You’d be wise to take pre-cautions and don a mask and wipe down your shit with disinfectants. I know “BUT SCIENCE PROVES THAT DOESN’T WORK.” Well science also says to take the VAXX.

Moving on, I ended the session flat, a decent consolation for a market down more than 300. After hours a slew of companies are plunging and I expect some weakness at the open, followed by a nice drift, mind you, higher.

For those following the Exodus TRADES account on Twitter for Stocklabs trades — FUCK OFF. We have a new account and if you want details — please ask me in the Pelican Room.


Comments »