I’m An Asshole

Hey, if you’re into exogenous events and shit, this is your time. I’m making all sorts of “cheddar” today, making you guys look like cavemen carving out the worlds first wheel.

Bets against the banks have been nothing short of Godly. As you know, I opted to “go the distance” with [[PACW]]. And, looky here, the fucker is down more than 7%. That’s what you call “space alien magician trading.” Not that shit you read in the iBD.

Our Government is trying to avert a crisis of biblical proportions. I love to laugh, then spit, on some of you jerkoffs who bellyache over “government intervention.” All of a sudden, as if you knew two gay fiddles and a straight goat about econ 101, espousing: “hey, let the free markets deal with it. What brand of capitalism is this”?

Well, in case your head has been stuck inside of a trombone for the last 9 months, they (U.S. government) have no fucking choice. They made their bed a long, long time ago—albeit a fucked up one. They can’t switch from babysitting and breastfeeding the U.S. economy to gung-ho free markets now.

Are you fucking nuts?

And, furthermore, who ever said we lived in a free market/capitalistic society? Larry Kudllow?

Well, I got news for you buster, Larry Kudlow escaped from the lunatic asylum 20 years ago, and has been ranting ever since. The fucker even thinks the moon is made from cheese. I bet he’d pay to visit the moon, just so he could take off his “life mask” in order to take a bite out of some “moon cheese.”

Okay, enough of that. Sometimes I get carried away.

“The Fly” is probably going to bet on the whole house coming down. However, it will not happen now. Oh, no way.

It will happen on a foggy day in Fall, when your kids are out trick or treating. You will be so busy with your retarded Frankenstein outfit, you might just miss the whole shebang.

With my money, right now, I am overweight, in a very large and erroneous manner, [[RIG]].

Don’t-fuck-with-me!

On the short side, I own a multitude of inverse ETF’s. But, more importantly, I am short [[HDB]], [[PACW]] and [[HRB]].

As you can see with today’s action, three of “The Fly’s” “Retired Five Reverse Horsemen” are going out o’ bidness [sic]: [[FHN]], [[DSL]] and [[FED]].

In addition, there is massive selling in [[MTB]], [[ZION]], [[NCC]], [[RF]], [[SOV]], [[PCBC]], [[WB]], [[FTBK]], [[HBHC]], [[TRMK]], [[CMA]], [[STI]], [[SUSQ]], [[MER]] and of course [[LEH]].

We’re in full throttle fucked mode. Lock and load.

NOTE: I still hold my bullshit [[UYG]] position. I intend on taking a loss on it, sometime Wednesday. And, take a peek at [[HBHC]]. I gave it to your fuckers, on a golden platter, Friday.

More on this, much later.

As we speak, the asshats are scrambling for safety nets. Scrambling, I say.

Go check who is the big dumbass holder of [[FNM]] debt. I insist.

Mr. MTG on Fannie:

Poof. Your bullshit rally is gone!

-Merlin

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PK9-WiY0eZQ&feature=related 450 300]

As per requested by Crude Broker.

I am buying gigantic quantities of [[RIG]] here, despite what you assholes think. To couple that, I went LONG [[UYG]] at around $17.45. I know the banks blow; but I have a hunch.

Also, I sold out of all of my [[DUG]].

I will keep all of my [[FXP]], [[REW]] and [[SMN]]—just in case.

My sense, the market is too shorted. I couldn’t borrow stock today, in like 15 names. Every one is setting up for a washout.

Look, the long term is still grim. However, with all of these rookies out there shooting at banks, and the Gov’t handing out cheese to [[FNM]], beware of a squeeze.

I’ll keep my [[HRB]], [[PACW]] and [[HDB]] shorts, based upon egregious valuations. But, in general, I am done shorting stocks—until my mood changes, of course.

Have a terrible weekend, fuckers.

UPDATE: Note the Godliness of my [[PZN]] calls. I insist.

I sold short 1,300 [[HDB]] @ $70.40.

Disclaimer: If you sell short HDB because of this post, Cramer will convince you to buy FNM. And, you may lose money.

I have visions of great personal anger in my head. I can fathom some sort of Government bailout, followed up by HARDCORE CNBC cheer leading—resulting in a massive melt up on Monday. They might even pull that old fucker, Vince Farell, out of the woodwork to call another bottom.

I covered my shorts, excluding my 200% inverse ETF’s, because I had the wrong stocks. Typically, I am pretty good at identifying my “wrongness.” Right now, I am sitting on mountains of cash, borrowed stock, but zero trades.

I’m thinking: “why should I short more here and risk my balls, on a Monday fuck you”?

But then, I think: “asshole, you sound like some pussy. Do it. Don’t think too hard, your balls will fall off. Do it.”

These are the thoughts that are racing in my head, at 2:26pm, July 11th, 2008.

NOTE: Irish bank, [[AIB]], looks like a fucking empty treasure box.

Don’t worry. I had the wrong stocks. I am now in the process of redeploying capital, with great vigor, to names that are sure to win.

Developing…

NOTE: I am still short [[HRB]] and [[PACW]].

I covered my shorts in the above names.

Off to more important things now.