iBankCoin: Your Home for the 2008 Market Meltdown/Global Fuckery

As we speak, the asshats are scrambling for safety nets. Scrambling, I say.

Go check who is the big dumbass holder of [[FNM]] debt. I insist.

Mr. MTG on Fannie:

Poof. Your bullshit rally is gone!

-Merlin

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PK9-WiY0eZQ&feature=related 450 300]

As per requested by Crude Broker.

I am buying gigantic quantities of [[RIG]] here, despite what you assholes think. To couple that, I went LONG [[UYG]] at around $17.45. I know the banks blow; but I have a hunch.

Also, I sold out of all of my [[DUG]].

I will keep all of my [[FXP]], [[REW]] and [[SMN]]—just in case.

My sense, the market is too shorted. I couldn’t borrow stock today, in like 15 names. Every one is setting up for a washout.

Look, the long term is still grim. However, with all of these rookies out there shooting at banks, and the Gov’t handing out cheese to [[FNM]], beware of a squeeze.

I’ll keep my [[HRB]], [[PACW]] and [[HDB]] shorts, based upon egregious valuations. But, in general, I am done shorting stocks—until my mood changes, of course.

Have a terrible weekend, fuckers.

UPDATE: Note the Godliness of my [[PZN]] calls. I insist.

I sold short 1,300 [[HDB]] @ $70.40.

Disclaimer: If you sell short HDB because of this post, Cramer will convince you to buy FNM. And, you may lose money.

I have visions of great personal anger in my head. I can fathom some sort of Government bailout, followed up by HARDCORE CNBC cheer leading—resulting in a massive melt up on Monday. They might even pull that old fucker, Vince Farell, out of the woodwork to call another bottom.

I covered my shorts, excluding my 200% inverse ETF’s, because I had the wrong stocks. Typically, I am pretty good at identifying my “wrongness.” Right now, I am sitting on mountains of cash, borrowed stock, but zero trades.

I’m thinking: “why should I short more here and risk my balls, on a Monday fuck you”?

But then, I think: “asshole, you sound like some pussy. Do it. Don’t think too hard, your balls will fall off. Do it.”

These are the thoughts that are racing in my head, at 2:26pm, July 11th, 2008.

NOTE: Irish bank, [[AIB]], looks like a fucking empty treasure box.

Don’t worry. I had the wrong stocks. I am now in the process of redeploying capital, with great vigor, to names that are sure to win.

Developing…

NOTE: I am still short [[HRB]] and [[PACW]].

I covered my shorts in the above names.

Off to more important things now.

I have been busy, over the past 72 hours, looking for new banks to sell short. [[WABC]] was on the top of my list; but that fucker is already swan diving. However, it’s worth noting, it is still richly valued.

Some other names that pop out are: [[HDB]], [[PCBC]], [[BXS]], [[HBHC]], [[ONB]], [[CVBF]], [[FTBK]], [[TCB]], [[AF]] and [[VLY]].

Regarding “The Five Reverse Horsemen” of agony and profits, I am retiring four of them. I am claiming victory, if I may be so bold.

The lone horseman is [[PACW]]. However, over the next week or so, I will add another 4 names—giving me a full cast of “horsemen.” Just like Saturday Night Live changes their cast of idiotic comedians, “The Fly” does too.

Look you, I don’t have time to teach you everything. I will give you some fucking shortcuts.

Don’t bottom fish dead institutions, like [[FRE]], [[FNM]] and [[LEH]].

Just-don’t-do-it.

“The Fly” knows all, while you’re just some asshole who reads the poetic scribblings of an internet genius,

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlAUdPTr6ZI 450 300]