Heart Attack Thursday

Truly, today was the most nerve racking day in years. Early this morning I was on this site telling everyone the market was going to zero. Now, I am here telling you I covered my shorts and went long Citigroup Inc. [[C]] .

Amazingly fucktarded.

Let me recap:

The government may set up an RTC facility that will eat all of the losses on the banks’ balance sheets, which will enable them to lend again.

Long story short, this is a fast market and you have to adjust accordingly, else lose it all.

At first, I was skeptical of the rally, when we were up 100. However, once I heard that an RTC fund may be set up, I ran for cover, like a little bitch.

All in all, I sold 95% of my [[SKF]] , in the low 120’s. I sold 95% of my [[SRS]] in the mid 80’s to mid 90’s. I covered my entire Legg Mason, Inc. [[LM]] , AXA (ADR) [[AXA]] , Pzena Investment Management, Inc. [[PZN]] , PacWest Bancorp [[PACW]] , Fifth Third Bancorp [[FITB]] and Vulcan Materials Company [[VMC]] short positions.

Then, I reversed course and bought truckloads of Citigroup Inc. [[C]] , [[ROM]] , [[UYG]] and Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] .

Long story short: today was mind numbingly nerve racking. However, as always, I intend to end up on top.

NOTE: I bought more than 100,000 C today.

NOTE II: This morning, I was up another 10%. Then, as things reversed, I was down 8%. Then, I went long and ended down a mere 2%. Just another day at the office.

Off to drink myself stupid.

I bought 40,000 Citigroup Inc. [[C]] @ $15.36.

Seriously, I am a bit confused by today’s tape. I never get nervous or jumpy; but I am today.

With Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] and Morgan Stanley [[MS]] knifing lower, what the fuck is everybody celebrating?

I even got sucked into a quick [[UYG]] trade (for a profit might I add); but this is bullshit.

I am shorting AXA (ADR) [[AXA]] and getting tortured for doing so. Idiots are buying reits, sending [[SRS]] lower. And, assholes on tv are suggesting the recent flurry in the banks is being done by “financial terrorists,” an Al Qaeda cell trying to take down the country.

Are you fucking kidding me?

They cannot be serious right?

So, it was Al Qaeda who made all those assholish loans and packaged them into cdo’s? I see.

With my money, I am as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof. Nonetheless, I am buying [[SKF]] and [[SRS]] on this dip. And, I will continue to short those fucking French faggots (AXA) until the dollar becomes cool again.

NOTE: Apparently it’s unpatriotic to short GS. Just thought you should know that.

The U.K. has decided to just ban short sellers. Here in the U.S., there are open outcries to limit or prohibit short sellers. As a result, one big giant short squeeze has just ensued.

Think fast and understand that men with large red clown noses will buy banks, even if a nuclear bomb detonated on the exchange.

This little rally can last a bit, as people scramble to cover.

As a hedge, unfortunately, [[UYG]] may be a place to scalp a trade.

UPDATE: Panicked a little, I covered my entire Legg Mason, Inc. [[LM]] short at $30. And, I sold some [[SRS]] in the mid 90’s. However, I still have 90% of my position. Also, I bought some [[UYG]] at $17.

But, this new plan to kill shorts will not work. As a point in fact, it failed miserably in China this year, as evidenced by their exchange getting boot stomped by 60%.

Basically, I am getting all greedy and shit, trying to hold onto gains. Sometimes it’s better to do nothing and drink milkshakes. However, this is not one of those times.

UPDATE II: I sold out of my UYG trade, for a small profit.

UPDATE III: I bought 3,000 [[SKF]] @ $134 and 2,000 [[SRS]] @ $88.15.

UPDATE IV: I sold short 2,000 AXA (ADR) [[AXA]] @ $30.55

All I hear is cries for government intervention. Everyone is demanding that the government come in and bail everyone out.

Assholes, we live in a free/capitalistic society. This is not Soviet Russia or authoritarian Zimbabwe. How much do you want them to do?

They have already overstepped their bounds. It’s sort of like trying to resuscitate a patient who is dead. Eventually you have to give up and register the time of death.

Listen to me: the financial system is dead. Within days, both Morgan Stanley [[MS]] and Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] will be gone, via bankruptcy or acquisition. The age of the investment banks is over and it ended in a very egregious way.

So, quit blaming short sellers or the fucking Fed for our problems. Wall Street created these weapons of mass financial destruction, now live with them— and die by them.

NOTE: I am not covering any shorts. In fact, I just loaded up on my AXA (ADR) [[AXA]] short. And, I bought more [[SRS]] .

I sold short 10,000 AXA (ADR) [[AXA]] @ $29.

Disclaimer: If you sell short AXA because of this post, the next time you are in Paris someone will spit on you. And, you may lose money.

[UN]fortune Cookie Update: Legg Mason, Inc. [[LM]] is hitting pavement, in a very egregious way. Once again, the power of the [un]fortune cookie displays itself in all of its glory.

Well, even if they are not going out of business, their share prices suck rocks.

With that being said, here is a list of the [[MS]]/Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] bag holders aka largest holders of equity.

Largest publicly traded Morgan Stanley Shareholders

State Street Corporation [[STT]] : 181 million shares

AXA (ADR) [[AXA]] : 66.7 million shares

Barclays PLC (ADR) [[BCS]] : 49 million shares

UBS AG (USA) [[UBS]] : 33 million shares

T. Rowe Price Group, Inc. [[TROW]] : 21.6 million shares

JPMorgan Chase & Co. [[JPM]] : 17.6 million shares

The Bank of New York Mellon Corporation [[BK]] : 14.6 million shares

Credit Suisse Group AG (ADR) [[CS]] : 14.2 million shares

Northern Trust Corporation [[NTRS]] : 12.7 million shares

Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] : 12.1 million shares

Pzena Investment Management, Inc. [[PZN]] : 7.8 million shares

Largest publicly traded Goldman Sachs Shareholders

Barclays PLC (ADR) [[BCS]] : 17.1 million shares

State Street Corporation [[STT]] : 13.8 million shares

AXA (ADR) [[AXA]] : 10.1 million shares

Janus Capital Group Inc. [[JNS]] : 7.2 million shares

T. Rowe Price Group, Inc. [[TROW]] : 6.7 million shares

Northern Trust Corporation [[NTRS]] : 6.2 million shares

The Bank of New York Mellon Corporation [[BK]] 6.1 million shares

JPMorgan Chase & Co. [[JPM]] : 5.2 million shares

Oppenheimer Holdings Inc. (USA) [[OPY]] : 3.7 million shares

Wells Fargo & Company [[WFC]] : 3.3 million shares

I bought 5,000 [[SRS]] @ $93.99.

Disclaimer: If you buy SRS because of this post, your only son will take a job at CNBC. And, you may lose money.

Do not be fooled. The market will not rally with Morgan Stanley [[MS]] and Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] in the shit box. As long as people have doubts about them, the market will drill itself lower—putting holes in asshole dip buyers in its path.

Again, I made a mistake selling out of my energy stocks yesterday. However, if it makes some of you feel better, I did load up on Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] , which should charge higher soon.

At the present, my total energy exposure consists of National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] and Clean Energy Fuels Corp. [[CLNE]] .

On the long side, I like the action in ag stocks. Lindsay Corporation [[LNN]] , Valmont Industries, Inc. [[VMI]] and Potash Corp./Saskatchewan (USA) [[POT]] look less than gay.

Finally, I sold out of all of my [[FXP]] today, due to China Mobile Ltd. (ADR) [[CHL]] fuckery. And, I am really digging the move in Hansen Natural Corporation [[HANS]] today, despite not owning a single share. I just like their products.

NOTE: Bill Miller still sucks.

NOTE II: [[SKF]] and [[SRS]] still look pretty neat.

NOTE III: The death drop by State Street Corporation [[STT]] will sound some alarms. Elevator down.

Holy cowballs! The NY Times will likely be sued for this article. Apparently, it’s game time for [[MS]].

“We need a merger partner or we’re not going to make it,” Mr. Mack told Mr. Pandit, according to two people briefed on the talks. Mr. Pandit, a former senior investment banker at Morgan Stanley, said Citigroup was not interested.