Too many people on the internet have stolen my writing style. Because of this, “The Fly” will be changing up his style, over the coming weeks, in order to separate himself from the fucking mindless drones/asshole/cocksucking/leaches, who attempt to suck out my gray matter, on a daily basis.
In case you were all worried and shit (I’ve received zero emails, fuck you), “The Fly” and family live in an ice box, thanks to a broken gas valve in his furnace. Naturally, “The Fly” is willing to overpay, for this slight inconvenience, to have it (my fucking furnace) fixed in a timely manner. But, it seems the local technicians are too fucking busy getting ready for Sunday foolsball, than to help out a few icicles, who greatly desire a little HEAT. Cocksuckers!
Should this son of a bitch of a furnace remain unfixed, “The Fly” and Co. will be living large, at the local hotel, ordering all types of over-salted fare.
Aside from that, life is phenomenal. To date, I’ve spent an inordinate amount of money on Christmas and there is still much to do, such as find a new private beach club or buy another car.
Mind you, managing money for a living is an idiotic lifestyle/living. I sleep 3-4 hours per day, not by choice, but necessity. And, I fucking hate people. Maybe I should just run for local office and become some sort of Congressman. This way, I can fuck with all of the people I hate, in a very legal/scary sort of way.
Doing this blog thing is sort of inane too. However, because of it, I get to meet all sorts of cool people, like Howard, and make them pay for my pizza slices.
At the end of the day, I just want to punch a few furnace technicians in the trachea and jump kick a few truckloads of stock brokers into the freezing Atlantic.
UPDATE: “Frank the furnace technician” came to my house and replaced the gas valve on my furnace. Apparently, “this one ain’t workin’ so good.” Upon Frank leaving, I chased after him and said “hey Frank, I still smell gas. Get back in here and fix it.”
Frank replied: “that’s impossible. Nuttin’ is wrong with it. Call National Grid and have them checks its.”
So, after “Fuck Face Frank” left, I called National Grid and requested a gas leak inspection. Naturally, after the Nat Grid guy arrived and tested my furnace, THERE WAS A FUCKING GAS LEAK.
Much to my amazement, the brand new gas valve is faulty. Shit like this only happens to me. He had to turn off the gas to my furnace again.
Back to freezing.
At any rate, “Fuck Face Frank” is back on his way here to re-change the valve. I threatened those fuckers will stop payment and all sorts of other unkind actions.
UPDATE: Frank informed me that “he won’t have that same valve until tomorrows.” Fucking faggot.
UPDATE: In what can only be described as a “Christmas miracle,” Fuck Face Frank found a valve!
Santa Frank is on his way now, ovah here.
UPDATE: Fuck Face Frank came with his lighter this time, trying to ignite the “alleged leak” around my furnace. Apparently, he believes I am doing this for fun. He changed the valve again. And, much to my chagrin, I still smell gas. WTF!!!
I will be forced to blow the fuck up, since I can’t deal with this shit anymore.