China is GM

With the market throwing refrigerators on the heads of those who are long Obama stimulus plays, I thought it would be “nice” of me to pile on here and offer up some “loose toothed” short sales.

As China slowly but surely slips into recession, basic resource names will get crushed, under a heap of “clown debt.” As I’ve said before, only assholes buy infrastructure plays, in the midst of a global recession.

China is one giant GM, making a bunch of shit that no one wants or can afford. They are forced to keep expensive subsidies in place, while making sure crazy eyed factory workers keep their jobs. It is an economic structure made from a mixture of seaweed and shit. It will fail.

The following stocks can be shorted, in between snacks:

RTP, MT, DOW, SNP, CHK, RIG, CNQ, APC, FCX and EP.

All of the above names have mountains of debt and negative cash per share ratios. In a tight credit environment and depreciating commodity prices, all of the above names, as a point in fact, will get bowled on by “space alien magicians” in plutonium powered time machines, during 2009.

Trade accordingly.

NOTE: CNBC is a fucking joke with their Madoff controversy reporting.

No more insults.

Senor Tropicana is all about sunshine, crack pipes and apple pie. He is as happy as a hooker on a vacation day.

Reacting to the tape, I took some losses in a variety of names, namely C, FAS, TBT and a little AKAM. And, I booked a 6 point profit in SSG.

Essentially, my goal is to reduce my long exposure, which currently stands at about 8%.

In addition, I bulked up on some shorts, via EEV and SMN. And, I shorted a little more HANS, just south of $32.

At this moment in time, there are lots of good shorts out there, setting up for the taking. From CHK to X to POT, stocks look ripe to fall.

However, at the same time, men with large bow ties and clown shoes are recommending caution, at realmoney.com. This alerts me and as a result chagrins me—for those fuckers are always wrong.

Please, prove me wrong.

Aside from tossing over ripe bananas at my trader/servants desk, “The Fly” will spend the entirety of his day planning his next kill. Presently, I possess a 25% cash position.

I sold out of my C position, for an egregious loss. I sold out of the little FAS I had left, for a loss. And, I sold out of my entire TBT position, some at a loss—some at a gain.

In other words, I’m taking off the long side hedges.

I bought 5,000 EEV @ $53.65

Disclaimer: If you buy EEV because of this post, you may never get rid of your addiction to leveraged etf’s. And, you may lose money.

Quit embarrassing yourselves, you fucking idiots. All of a sudden 2009 comes and you think the appetite for risk is back? What kind of crack/cocaine blend are you smoking? I bet it’s the good stuff, with very little additives.

Look you, China’s economy is collapsing. I’ll say it again, China’s economy is collapsing, not just pulling back. They are the factory for the world and their domestic economy, led by former farmers with a pitch forks in hand and shit on their shoes, is as broken as a debit card from Bernie Madoff’s brokerage firm (rim shot!). Okay, enough with the Madoff jokes already.

All of their (China) recent output and consumption data is pointing towards recession, not 9% growth—you fucking faggots.

Over the past 16 months, investors, worldwide, have been depleted/relieved of their capital, in a very rude/abrupt fashion. As a result, we now have billionaires jumping in front of speeding trains and thousandaires shooting howitzers shells at their faces. And, all of a fucking sudden, in the miracle of all miracles, you believe the Gods have bestowed a “generational stock market bottom” on us, in the form of President Obama and his magical job creating microphone. You believe his microphone will suck the pants off of you, if you just, well, believe— hard enough.

You say to yourself: “I believe it will, oh Lord Obama. I believe that a change is a comin’ and Bill Miller is a gonna be right buying asshole stocks, in 2009. I believe.”

Then, much to your chagrin, a few jerkoffs from Brooklyn snatch your chain and wallet, while your busy praying to a statue of a Chinese coal factory.

The good news is: as always, “The Fly” will end up being right.

The bad news is: you’re not qualified or capable of staying in this business of investing.

Let me clarify.

If you are “day trading,” you’re a loser anyway. Therefore, I don’t even bother spitting in your general direction. See day traders are like little vultures flying above, waiting for a snack, while the lions below “eat their share.”

On the other hand, some of you punk investors are entrusted with vast amounts of coin, via clients, family trusts or through others means—maybe mafia related. Who knows? Anyway, you just can’t help yourself, buying stocks all the time—can you?

You suffer from a mental disorder and need to seek therapy right away.

Look, I’m sick of making my point. I’m really fucking busy right now, planning to chop off the heads of a few bad oil/gas names. Do me a favour [sic], good Sir, and go fuck yourself.

Happy trading!

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Thoughts?

Obama upped his job creating skills from 3 million to 4 mill. Hell, if i was President, I’d create like 200 million jobs. This guy is some sort of fucking loser.

Some punk Korean blogger was arrested for talking shit about Korea’s economy. Good for him. If I was the President of korea, I’d give him the electric chair.

Rumors are spreading about Citi being “forced” to sell Smith Barney. The real question is: who the fuck is going to buy them? ROFLMAOASFDRGHSRGTFGHDFGSDF!!!!

In all seriousness, I’m sure the Government will give Morgan Stanley some dough so they can eat Smith Barney.

No one has money, except internet assholes. People on the internet seem to think the economy will not affect them. I got news for you fuckface, it will, indeed.

Mr. Cramer said the market didn’t go down last week. Apparently, he was looking at his charts upside down. I love it when lame propaganda gets obvious to the dumb guy. Even some people I know, who worship Cramer (don’t ask why), think he’s full of shit. Moreover, they’d like to throw stale jelly donuts at his limousine, if given the proper introduction.

Finally, we have over 8 million part time workers in America. God only knows how many illegal Mexicans are out of work. Poor little guys, with their sombreros and chihuahua dogs.”The Fly” does not feel sorry for them; but Senor Tropicana does—let it be known.

One thing is for certain, as a matter of fact it is resolute, the new stimulus plan will be a great boom for Mexico.

Update: The Krullster

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“The Fly” has a multitude of events to partake in, prior to the markets close. Therefore, this will be my closing comments for today’s session.

There is support for crude around $40 per barrel, which, incidentally, is grossly irrelevant to the share prices of RIG and NOV. Basically, the crash of crude has already ripped the arms off of NOV and RIG. You cannot ask them to throw the ball around anymore, since they have no fucking arms.

I refuse to cover any of my short positions, namely XOM, NOV, KIM, VNO and HANS. I am fully aware of the prospects of a government sponsored rally. I guess, when it’s boiled down to a fine reduction, I just don’t have as much faith in the government as some of my bullish counterparts.

With that being said, I want to sell short everything Guy Adami recommends on Fast Money. Clearly, he is a man with a pervasive mental disorder, called bullshititis. I’d like to “rambus” my way all the way down to 700 s&P, if you know what I mean.

Basically, the volume is tepid and the underlying tone is bullish. I would not be surprised to see the market close up today, at least on the Dow, since the bears lack the internal fortitude to press their blades.

For now, the market is being led around by oil. Where XOM goes, so does the market. As far as I’m concerned, time is on my side.

UPDATE: Before I left, I bought 1,000 DVY @ $39.94, 2,000 AKAM @$15.40, 300 SRS @ $55.65 and 500 EEV @ $50.42.

I bought 2,000 EEV @ $51.10.

Disclaimer: If you buy EEV because of this post, the government will mandate that you let homeless people live in your basement. And, you may lose money.