Pardon Your Indiscretion

I would like to address several points, all of which are of great importance to the health and vibrancy of the U.S. economy.

Steroid fuckers: quit using the machines at the gym in unorthodox ways. One of the major downers for “The Fly” is not being able to punch off the mustaches from the 300lb cretins at the gym, for using the pull-up bars like a child’s monkey bar playground. Let me be clear: I could try to punch off their eyebrows and maybe hire some ex-marine to intercept incoming “roid blows”; but why bother?

The second half of 2009 is all about peace for Senor Tropicana.

Another pet peeve of mine: men inside eyebrow waxing joints. Seriously, men who get their eyebrows plucked, and nails shined, need to just grab the homo-hammer already and stop playing “Testosterone Timmy” at the gym.

Look, I know you are all confused about the markets, especially with Asia deep in the red. However, “The Fly” is not here to offer sage advice. Fuck that shit. There are plenty of horse lovers out there who slave over their filthy computers, for your reading displeasure. While on iBankCoin, specifically my blog, you are here to entertain me. I have been buying all sorts of crap, from Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] to Sunstone Hotel Investors, Inc [[SHO]] . I have been grilled, like an oily pork chop, in Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] and Sterling Financial Corporation [[STSA]] (very small position), yet here I am still talking shit.

Here’s the thing, the website is my true passion. I enjoy writing and building stuff, finding blog talent, inventing analytic engines— things of that nature. Managing money, while incredibly rewarding, is boring. As you know, I am not into having a boring life. And, for your information, I NEVER eat boring tuna. One day, “The Fly” will blog from his penthouse apartment, located on the top of the Empire State Building needle.

Unfortunately, I have numerous meetings to attend tomorrow morning. Hence, blogging will be light or entirely non-existent. Just so you know, should the market plunge tomorrow, I will be advantageous with my ridiculous “hurricane thesis” buys. If we go up, I will probably sit tight or take some profits on some of my garbage holdings. Truth be told, I am holding far too much garbagio at the moment.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63kRUCWstCo 616 500]

When American International Group, Inc. [[AIG]] , Fannie Mae [[FNM]] , Citigroup Inc. [[C]] and Freddie Mac [[FRE]] “desack” the bears, it’s not a game anymore. Full disclosure: I was looking for a pullback, coming into this week. The difference between you and “Le Fly”: I don’t have ADD and do not trade like a fucking paradiddle. I did not short anything, mainly because the trend, the mood, the aroma, is all bullish. Instead, I took half of what belonged to me and put it to cash.

As you know, over the past three days, I’ve been reallocating back into stocks, specifically Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Sunstone Hotel Investors, Inc [[SHO]] , Hercules Offshore, Inc. [[HERO]] , Complete Production Services, Inc. [[CPX]] , General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] , ANADIGICS, Inc. [[ANAD]] , Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] and Holly Corporation [[HOC]] . Much to my chagrin, I got smoked on Sterling Financial Corporation [[STSA]] , so goes the life of an avid speculator.

In closing, short only hedge funds are getting poleaxed here. I will continue to use my PPT engine to find short squeezes, in a sincere effort to massacre my natural enemies.

I bought 40,000 Sunstone Hotel Investors, Inc [[SHO]] in the low $6.20’s.

Disclaimer: If you buy SHO because of this post, your vasectomy will go terribly wrong. And, you may lose money.

The biggest turds, in all the world, are running with their socks off today. Names like American International Group, Inc. [[AIG]] , Citigroup Inc. [[C]] and Fannie Mae [[FNM]] make me sick; but some people think there is “value” trapped inside of those criminal organizations. Believe you me, I would like to see the market rally, just like a coked out Kudlow. But, those motherfuckers should be bankrupt. I mean, AIG lost about 200 billion, over the last year right? ROFL. Fuck me running sideways.

“The Fly” is really not much fun for you internet leeches these days, especially since my trading activities have slowed with the summer malaise. Don’t worry, soon enough, I will be back to throwing old men into garbage trucks, while exclaiming “touchdown” in a very mentally disturbed manner.

The good folks from CNBC are perplexed by the market, in general. They look at the tape and just sort of scratch their brains, hoping for a clue.

I suspect, over the next hour or two, I will buy a few names, in an effort to spend my cash. I have so much cash on the sidelines, I should be on CNBC talking about it.

So, in summary, trading poolside is always a good idea, especially when you have money. If you, for some odd reason, find yourself without money, then you might want to focus on your job. Words to live by and kill for!

Talk to you fuckers later.

Speaking of scared, thank God I do not own a lot of Sterling Financial Corporation [[STSA]] , otherwise today’s death plunge might have ruined my jolly mood. In short, the company is deferring interest payments on some junior subordinated notes. They are not breaking any covenants; but they certainly do suck. For that, investors are bailing, rightfully so. I will hold my position of 30k for another day or two, selling out after a bounce.

As for my biggest intra-day winner, I love the action in ANADIGICS, Inc. [[ANAD]] and may consider adding to my position here. It’s part of my whole 4g/smartphone thesis play.

The general market trend, without a doubt, is up. Do yourself a favor pal, have a lucid moment and get the fuck out of the FAZmobile. If today’s rally sticks, bet your bullshit dollars on a “rip your face off” melt up tomorrow.

Top picks: Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , ANADIGICS, Inc. [[ANAD]]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl6jwab3HWk 616 500]

All day long, you little fuckers are asking stupid questions, like “shouldn’t we pull back from here”? Or, my favorite: “the market has to pull back, doesn’t it”?

Quit asking leading questions— you sniveling trollops. I am sick and tired of the sub-premium commentary, coming from the coked out anchors on that God forsaken channel. If only there was a viable alternative, I’d throw money at it, in order to unseat and undermine the low-iq’ers on channel 15.

Into the bell, I sold out of the balance of my Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] positions, since I am sick and tired of waiting for the bastard to run. And, I bought another 20,000 Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , around $13.16—with the sincere hopes, deep in my heart, that some maniacal hurricane will make its way to “oil rig alley,” effectively “fucking up” U.S. crude and natural gas production BEYOND REPAIR.

With that in mind, I bid you farewell.

NOTE: I will post my positions tonight, an update of sorts.

Pardon my lack of gun slinging, as of late. Instead of putting my balls on the kitchen table, while cutting carrots, I’ve been busy with “summer bullshit.” At the moment, work has taken a backseat to late night fiestas and mid-day siestas. I’ll have you know, “The Fly” has big dicked year to date gains and has no desire to press the envelope here, especially during the rookie month of August, where most trading turrets are manned by abject imbeciles, straight out of college.

Nonetheless, I have taken it upon myself to carry the burden of risk, despite not needing to. Earlier today, Senor Tropicana bought 20,000 Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] —mainly for shits and giggles. As a side note, should the tropical storm game get jiggy with coastal U.S., crack spreads will explode—effectively sending beaten down refinery stocks through the roof. My favorite refinery plays are TSO, Valero Energy Corporation [[VLO]] and Holly Corporation [[HOC]] . The big dice-rolls are Delek US Holdings, Inc. [[DK]] , Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] and Alon USA Energy, Inc. [[ALJ]] .

So, in summary, I am trading light, with a 100% bullish bias—currently focusing on a suckers bet aka “hurricane plays.”

Oh boy.

You don’t really know what’s going on; but you pretend that you do on the internets. Does that make any sense to you? See, to me, you are all just a bunch of ham and eggers, throwing chocolate egg creams at one another. You are persistent in your fucktardedness; I’ll give you that. However, always remember, better men than you tried betting against “Le Fly;” look where it got them.

Exactly.

With my money, I am officially in “Hurricane Mode.” I will be adding to my Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Complete Production Services, Inc. [[CPX]] and Hercules Offshore, Inc. [[HERO]] holdings, while initiating new positions in a variety of names. For the love of greasy hamburgers, Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] might make a run here too! On second thought, let’s not talk about FTK, it’s too painful.

In summary, the market is going higher and you got caught flat footed, yet again. I will be reducing my large cash position, down to about 30%, with the sincere hopes of sending several million bearshitters to their makers (not real death. Instead, like some sort of financial God that informs you of pending bankruptcy, or some shit).

Good Day to You