iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,467 Blog Posts

Welcome to the Crash of 2008

[[BSC]] going out for 2 bucks per share? Whores from the Bronx go for more.

As a result, ALL banks have to marked down considerably. Monday may be the worst trading day in years. Unless of course, the great bearded one comes swooping down in his gunship.

Developing…

UPDATE: Gold is soaring, more than $23 an ounce.

ROFL UPDATE: The Fed just cut rates. On a fucking Sunday evening, mind you. Nothing screams panic more than a Sunday evening rate cut.

SPECIAL DENNIS KNEALE UPDATE: Bear Sterns [sic] shareholders, fear not of losing money. You only lose money when you sell. If you do not sell, you will not lose money. Plus, what’s the big deal? BSC represents like 0.00000000000009% of the market. Nothing to see here folks. Long optimism!

Fly UPDATE: Fuck a horse, Dennis Kneale.

$2 per share questions: I wonder how the negotiations went? I mean, I’m sure the BSC fuckers thought they’d fetch more than $2 per share. I bet the [[JPM]] players were like: “yo, check this out, son. I’ll give you 2 dolla’s for your company. Take it or leave it.”

Naturally, the BSC nerds were like, “come on guys, we need more. Our wives will leave us, for making a mockery of ourselves. How about where it closed on Friday—$30, please?

As you can imagine, the JPM ballers were like “what the fuck did you say to me, fool? Don’t make me jump over this conference table and cold smack you with the “qwerty” buttons of my blackberry. All we gots for you is 2 dolla’s, in stock that is. No cash.”

In my head, that’s how the JPM-BSC negotiations went.

Time Machine UPDATE: Sift through the iBC commentary of BSC, over the past few months. Quite accurate.

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“The Fly” Downgrades BSC…

…from a “fucking retarded monkey sell” to a “watch out a nuclear bomb truck is in your garage sell.”

Price target has been reduced from $00.05 to $00.00.

Viz.

UPDATE: It appears the bagholders from [[JPM]] will announce a mercy killing of [[BSC]], for about $20.

Fucking ridiculous.

This will pave the way for sheer panic amongst share prices of other investment banks, notably [[LEH]], [[COWN]] and [[TWPG]].

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Kava Kava: Tic

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYsjeTVikss 450 300]

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Learn Your Lesson

Never bet against the man with a time machine.

Off to celebrate the death of Bear Sterns [sic].

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While You Wallow, I Grow Richer

Quit being bullish, you stupid goat fuckers. Why is everyone so quick to call a bottom?

Please. Bear markets, spearheaded by recessions, last for 2-3 years, minimum.

Right now, I do not want to chase [[SKF]] here. However, I do like [[SMN]] and [[DUG]]. Moreover, my favorite trade, ahead of Fed easing, is to be long gold, via [[DGP]].

I know it seems too obvious to work, but it will. Gold is set to break out to a new trading range, just like oil. Additionally, I want to be long yen here, via [[FXY]]. It is my opinion, the dollar is about to shatter the 1995 lows versus the yen, sending FXY to $105. Keep in mind, Japanese corporate hedges will kick in, at some point—sending the dollar reeling.

Finally, “The Fly’s business is burgeoning right now, I’ll have you know. Over this weekend, I intend on eating large quantities of seafood, while barbarically guzzling multiple bottles of Bordeaux.

Fuck you. There is nothing you or your stupid friends can do about it.

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Fly Buy: DGP

I bought 5,000 [[DGP]] @ $27.04.

Disclaimer: If you buy DGP because of this post, the Government will deem your land an “ag play” and seize it. And, you may lose money.

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I Am Eating My Neighbor’s 401k

Despite the pending insolvency at [[BSC]], the market is having a difficult time deciding what it wants to do next. All day, ag related stocks have been robust, led by [[MON]], [[POT]] and [[MOS]], much to my chagrin.

Also, certain retail names are bucking the downtrend, specifically [[GME]], [[ZUMZ]], [[PSUN]] and [[CRI]].

With regards to the financials, it’s bloody carnage, led by BSC, [[LEH]], [[CMO]], [[FMD]], [[KBW]], [[FIG]] and [[NCC]].

Personally, I like my chances long [[DGP]], [[UDN]], [[DUG]], [[SMN]], [[SRS]] and [[SKF]]. However, keep in mind, as a country, the stock market is all we have. This is it, our greatest export.

If you believe in conspiracies, you know the Government will do everything they can to prevent a total collapse. With that being said, don’t be stupid. Take profits when you can and never press your shorts, when they are already down big.

With my money, stubbornly, I will short more MOS, waiting for the inevitable breakdown.

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Death to Bear Sterns

Wasn’t it nice to find out there is NO inflation, via today’s CPI data? According to the Fed, gasoline and commodity prices went LOWER. Ha.

Something tells me the g-men are trying to save a few bad dollars in social security payments, via juking the inflation data to appear benign.

Forget about what the idiots with pocket protectors say. We have run away inflation. Trade accordingly.

Apparently, [[BSC]] is on the brink of insolvency. As you know, should the worthless assets of Bear Sterns be recognized for what they are (worthless), the world would slip into a black hole and be eaten by dinosaurs.

So, in order to prevent world destruction, the NY Fed, in their infinite wisdom, decided to save Bear Sterns. Very nice.

Let’s sum up the bullshit country we live in:

During the worst housing crisis in 100 years, we’ve learned, NO ONE is allowed to fail. Everyone is too big. From homebuilders to money centers to low-end brokerage houses to monoline insurers, if you need a little scratch, knock on the Governments door and they’ll help you out. This, as you know, is not capitalism. This is socialism heavy, not light, which is disgraceful.

However, none of my bickering or sharp spikes in interpersonal acts of violence will help anyone make money.

Here’s how I see it:

Fuck Dennis Gartman. Ride this sucker out. When I smell panic, there is bound to be some sort of shoe to drop. Just so you know, the Fed is panicking. If you’re the nervous type, hedge some of your downside plays, with a few longs. No big deal.

Inevitably, those betting on the downside will be right, as the recession deepens and little fuckers like Bear Sterns get washed out.

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Late Night Thought

Someone is going to lose a lot of money tomorrow.

UPDATE: Tesla was a bitch and a thief!

UPDATE II: Once Bernanke is done with your dollar, a loaf of bread and gallon of milk will cost 10 billion dollars. Fuck around, try to go to a movie and shit, that will cost you 100 billion.

We’re all gonna be billionaires!

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