I Want My Fucking 40!

How dare the market be up just 3 points. You fucking cocksuckers have been selling, haven’t you? The goal here is to destroy any remnants of pessimism, by way of taking the houses or living quarters of short sellers and forcing them into “jam sandwiches” aka painful divorces. As you readily know by now, money is everything. Try out your bullshit marriage, without the decadent luxuries of money, and tell me how that worked out for you 1 year from today.

“We shall thrust giant swords into the heads of those who oppose us,” said Robot a323 to Robot C179.

As we walk this stupid planet, a new bible is being written. The world survived the apocalypse of 2008 and now we are entering the “Renaissance of the 2010’s,” which will last until you are dead. Trust me when I say, there is NOTHING to gain from discovering lies and corporate fraud in a world that is based upon a lie. So, with that in mind, go long corrupt organizations with great vigor, for “whoever can lie the best shall benefit the most” (Book of Goldman, verse 23).

As Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] nears $100 per share, I am reminded by distant memories when some of you fucking asshats said “yo, guy, that stock sucks dick. It’s a fad and it’s going to like (burp) $00.00.” Lo and behold, you were wrong, once again. Do yourself a favour and simply shoot yourself in the mouth.

With my money, I will buy more TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] , as if my head was made from gasoline and some homeless guy was chasing me around with a flaming barrel of garbage.

There is nothing for you to say or do. The market no longer adheres to the rules of reason and justice, just government programmers. The economy, from every perspective, is booming. The auction houses are enjoying record revenue, thanks to the emergence of the Chinese elite class. You will hear of such things during May’s auctions. So, you might as well get in [[BID]] ahead of that news and make a few million in the process.

Immediately, we should all put our sandwiches down and make many millions of dollars, long stocks—with reckless abandon. On Pinocchio’s nose, both TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] and General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] are going much, much higher. In addition, I should average down in my albatross, Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , because as sure as I am sitting here, it is bound to go ape shit to the upside.

See folks, the robots are broken and the market has been hacked. If the world ended today, have solace in knowing your 401k plan will continue to appreciate, 0.5% per day, until the end of time. On a personal level, I am not pleased with my asinine [[VXX]] position; but it could have been worse. On the ears of Zeus, I could have been riding in the FAZmobile or the SRScopter. Anyway, the time for regret and internal emotional battles is over. Le market is giving you a french kiss, whether you want it or not—sort of like Pepe Le Pew. I suggest you spray paint a white line on your back and take it, with great veracity and unending enthusiasm!

Cheers!!

Before I Forget Update: Danny has a great post up. Check it out, fuckburglars.

Woodshedder’s PDS is fucking destroying the market. Good stuff Private Woodshedder.

Cordially,

General Robert E. Fly, Commander of the Northern Masters, rulers of all things “Southern”

The mechanical bull market gave us another 40. That’s all. Go home and kiss your kids and look forward to another 40 tomorrow.

Good day.

Top picks: General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] , TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]]

I bought 20,000 TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] @ $7.25.

Disclaimer: If you buy TQNT because of this post, you will be targeted by the IRS for an audit. And, you may lose money.

It pains me to see other men order homofied cups of coffee. Whenever I am at my local Starbucks, I cringe at the orders blurted out by other men. “Yes, may I have a super, duper latte espresso with whipped cream and caramel.” If you are a man, you are NOT ALLOWED to EVER order coffee with whipped cream in it, unless of course you intend to use the whipped cream as some sort of diabolical weapon or to be dispatched (immediately) into the face of an idle enemy. Secondly, you are NOT ALLOWED to put caramel in your coffee. What the fuck is wrong with you? Don’t get me started with steamed milk!

Lastly, you are not supposed to put too much sugar in your coffee and NEVER use sugar alternatives. If you put splenda in your cup of mud, you might as well do so while wearing your favorite ballerina outfit.

Coffee is something that needs to be respected. Do not dilute “the bean,” with womanly condiments. It’s bad enough that you wear bullshit jackets, with all of them zippers on it; don’t demean yourself further by defiling the last manly beverage left on Earth (beer has been overrun by homofied micro-brewers).

For 1 day, I will put aside my grievances with the stock market and call it like I see it. Money is fleeing safety (bonds) and going into risky investments, namely commodity plays. Moreover, money is targeting, specifically, stocks with large short positions, in order to cause pain and anguish to short sellers.

Within the tech space, I am seeing melt ups in a variety of semis, thanks to a huge ramp up in end user demand. When I say “end user demand,” I mean dumbass people, living month to month off credit cards, are buying iPads, Macs, smartphones and big ass teevees. Because of this, semiconductor foundries are smoking hot. Remember when I told you foundry utilization was at 30% last year? Well, fast forward, we are nearing 90% and in some cases 95%, forcing the price of chips higher, especially DRAM and Flash.

The whole semiconductor food chain benefits from higher demand/prices. However, I like to play the chain at the root, where shit it made and tested.

My favorite plays are TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] , Amkor Technology, Inc. [[AMKR]] , Advanced Semiconductor Engineering (ADR) [[ASX]] , Cadence Design Systems, Inc. [[CDNS]] , MEMC Electronic Materials, Inc. [[WFR]] and [[SPIL]] . So you know, on The PPT, I have the entire foundry watchlist for public perusal.

Anyway, thanks to this melt-up, my [[TLT]] and [[VXX]] positions are melting down, like cheap candles in whorehouse. But, I am making up for said losses, thanks to sharp advances in POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] , TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] , General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] and Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] . With regards to SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] , it will be a slow roll back to respectability. However, without a doubt, acquiring Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] will greatly diversify their business into proven oil fields and double free cash flow. Long term, if the deal can get done at $40, I think SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] will kick ass.

Downtrodden SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] is acquiring one of my favorite independent oil and gas companies, Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] , for $40 per share—representing just a 17% premium to Thursday’s close. Due to the deal, I expect arb players to short the shit out of SD’s shares—limiting any upside breakout. However, long term, if they can close this deal without a larger outfit stepping in with a better offer, this will change the way Wall Street looks at the share price. Ultimately, SD is going much, much higher.

I got you guys with the black smoke, didn’t I?

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

We do nothing but go up. Proceed with your exotic lifestyle and decadent lunches.

The rally, built from marshmallows, cream puffs and robot grease, is coming to an end, at least on an intra-day basis. Let it be known, you will get exactly what you deserve, AND MORE.

On the great eyes of Ulysses, I shall have my way, vis a vis large purchases of common stock through your margin liquidation. You can feel the pinch already, can’t you?

Today’s small purchases of TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] and General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] were simply to fill holes, as I have been a net seller of stocks for weeks now. As you know by now, I fucking hate this candy-ass market, with all of its cavity inducing sweeteners, and feel it is my duty to bring it down, brick my brick—stone by stone.

You should see me now, walking around the office, drinking from a dark/sinister mug, brimming with black smoke. You should try a little. It tastes like brimstone.

Top picks: Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , [[TLT]] , black smoke, and urrrr, [[VXX]] .