ATTENTION BLOGGERS: I’m Handing Out Traffic

Before the markets open and set off my manic-depressive mental condition, I am interested in reviewing your blogs, free of charge. Naturally, I will hold no punches and if your blog sucks cock, I will tell you so.

Whether I like your shit filled blog or not, I will link whore to you in my review post. iBC gets over 1 million page views per month and could easily put your pathetic ass on the map, with a little “Fly love.” Eventually, you fuckers need to start acknowledging iBC as the motherfucking mothership of this blog game. Step forward in the comments section, son, and get your lame ass blog reviewed (free of charge)!

The year was 2023 and “The Fly” was under severe cannon fire from his neighbors “across the way.” They’ve been vollying back and forth for weeks over the “disputed” rice paddies. It was 10 years since the American dream collapsed on the brains of those who protected it. Since then, the power apparatus in America transformed from government into local sects, where warlords ruled with Iron Fists for cheap labor, land and resources.

In NYC, “The Fly” was one of the chief financiers of manufacturing “poisonous as fuck” toys for China, as retribution for the hardship the Chinese inflicted on America after the collapse. Immediately following the collapse of America, China invaded Hawaii and turned the entire island into a FOXCONN slave factory, where local businessmen were forced to make iPAD ripoffs for the Chinese elite and demeaning fortune cookies that read “America will no ronger be arive, har, har, har.” With America out of the way, the Chinese captured Taiwan, South Korea and England, mainly for shit and giggles. They imposed harsh language laws in all of the lands they conquered, forcing its citizens to speak Chinese or get summarily tossed into FOXCONN prison factories at London.

The world was a dark, dark place, filled with wonton surprises and bombs hidden inside Jack in the Boxes, which was The Fly’s “top seller.”

The savage reality of life without order turned The Fly into a stark raving lunatic, developing “weapons of humor,” aimed to maim deviants inside China proper. His Jack in the Boxes were toys geared towards adult males. He did this by making them X-Rated. His Jack in the Boxes would blow up inside of 10 seconds, after a big titted naked doll, depicting an American woman, popped out and said “Foxy for FOXCONN”, all provocatively and shit. For years the Chinese ate it up, until they started blowing their dicks off.

Back in NYC, Fly was busy protecting his carrot harvest, whilst maintaining his blog “IUSEDTOBANKCOINNOWIJUSTKILLPEOPLE.com. Traffic was at an all-time high, despite the chaos. Replacing The PPT was a new algorithm that was able to time a “ten spot” casualty report with 6 hours of predictive accuracy (in 2023, a “ten spot” meant 10,000 killed).

Oddly enough, The Fly nailed the collapse of America, having all of his assets in VXX during the collapse. He bought it at $11 and rode it all the way up to 2,000 per share, until the collapse hit in full stride. As irony would have it, the finality of the collapse also coincided with the death of volatility. One day VXX was trading at 2,000, the next ZERO. As you could imagine, this drove his madness to new heights, paving the way for his new career as carrot farmer and “toy manufacturer extraordinaire” as he liked to call it.

A fire broke out at Wester Refinery’s El Paso shit house today, lending to the sell off. Shares of OPEN, LOGI, CVI, ATPG, OXY, and others, were down staggering amounts of dollars for me today. I know your reflex reaction will be to either annoy me with “I told you so’s” or offer encouragement with “you’ll get em tomorrow scooter.”

Frankly, none of that matters.

The market tricked me and I read the tea leaves wrong. Fuck you for telling me to “move on.” I don’t fucking move on and I do not change my demeanor because some asshole told me to. I will absorb these heinous and barbaric losses like a man. Apparently, it’s my fucking turn to be wrong and there is nothing that can be done about it. The stars and the planets are aligned against me, whether I attempt to short silver or stay long commodities or pick bottoms on cheap as fuck tech names. None of it matters.

See folks, I’ve been in one hell of an upcycle for 9 years now, making millions and priding myself on calling the market on a dime. It’s important to know when such a cycle is coming to an end; I see it now. Don’t get me wrong, there will be plenty of opportunities for me to “make a comeback” and spit in the faces of my detractors, even the secret ones. But, for now, I will sit here, eating almonds, drinking wine (something I never do during work) and absorb.

A great man once said “I’ve made my bed now I shall lay in it.”

Every once in awhile, I like to lie down during the afternoon, in order to clear my mind and focus on ideas. I concoct strategies and run numbers, calculating potential profit and losses and stress scenarios, whereby I might wipe myself the fuck out. Well, as I was lying there (on the couch) just 10 minutes ago, enduring the never-ending spate of heart palpitations that plague me, it dawned on me that the line of work I am in is killing me, literally.

I mean, some of you have day jobs as waitresses or sanitation workers. My job is this, every single day, for the rest of my fucking life, until I move to the mountainous regions of Puma Punku of course. Nothing about managing money is easy, even during the easy times. There is always mystery, like “what the fuck will happen next” type of shit. It’s a never-ending battle between idiots and morons, trying to hit one another with gravity hammers to take all of the money.

While this is happening, Mrs. Fly is gingerly buying shit online, planning out our next vacation, where I will endure pain and suffering due to information withdrawal. Because of these facts, there is NO WAY any of my children will enter the field of finance. Don’t get me wrong. There are perks, all to do with lots of money and whores, if you so choose that lifestyle. However, at the end of the day, life shouldn’t be lived in front of a fucking computer screen, rooting for nerds to manipulate the market, while making fun of other nerds in bow ties. None of these people are cool. They’re fucking misfits, obsessed with their own reflection, who’d sell short their mothers life expectancy for a quick buck.

I am 100% certain my sour attitude has something to do with the fact that my stocks are getting smashed into small pieces and tossed into flaming barrels of garbage. Nevertheless, in true dork fashion, I am eagerly awaiting the “reflex rally” so that I can make more money, enhancing my AI personality traits, enabling me to superficially suck the blood out of my enemies heads, like a vampire on speed.

Putting the mathematical precision of The PPT aside, here are the reasons why I believe we will rally.

1. Dollar is not rallying hard.

2. The decline in oil is moderate.

3. AAPL has been green all day, alongside a slew of tech names.

4. Silver is strong, a key barometer of risk.

5. TLT is down.

6. Financials are firming up.

7. Dr. Bernanke is watching.

Developing…

Greece will be tossed into an elevator shaft, forced to take billions and fuck its populace, in order to prevent write downs at French  and German banks. Portugal is a stupid country and will be told so by snobbish poets vacationing from France. And, Benjamin Bernanke is going to empty his pipe ashes on the heads of those who bet against him.

My top picks are CLF, OXY, WNR, CVI and OPEN.

Why do I like the refiners so much, specifically WNR?

Well, for one, 321 crack spreads are north of $25 per barrel, up from $10 earlier this year. Secondly, WNR refines crude from El Paso and sources from Eagleford shale and Cushings. With regards to Eagleford, it’s the next big thing. All of the players are buying up acreage and WNR is in the sweet spot for getting its crude. The major advantage lies in the lack of proper pipeline infrastructure from Eagleford to the Gulf. At the present, there is no pipeline and one is not expected to be built for at least another 2 years. Because of the logistics, Eagleford crude sells at a significant discount to Brent crude. That’s the kicker. As long as the spread between WTI and Brent remains high and WNR can resist the temptation to hedge themselves out of a boom, they will mint money.

Frankly, I cannot think of an easier play.

Let me be clear: I am looking for a sharp relief rally, not some long term nirvana. After I get my spike, I might rejigger and get the fuck out.

NOTE: I’ve been watching TNAV go up since $13.50 and have not bought a single share. I hate myself for it.

Shit like this surfaces. This is knee slapping funny.

Jim “fuck America sideways with a Bow Tie” Rogers

In order to continue my barrage of things Jim Rogers might say, via my Twitter account, I designed 7 questions that I endeavor to ask Mr. Rogers, because I am most interested in his humble opinions.

1.  Jim, I’ve read and heard about it on CNBC that gold is basically worthless and that the preferable place to preserve wealth is in the U.S. dollar. Your thoughts?

2. Jim, knowing what you know now, seeing how the U.S. bailouts worked, would you support future bailouts of the same magnitude in order to preserve our modern financial system?

3. Jim, would you compare the recent unchecked surge in commodities to the dot com boom of the late nineties? If so, why?

4. Jim, you were once quoted as saying “Dr. Bernanke should be fired” and “he is an idiot.” Seeing that the stock market has done so well under his tutelage,  do you regret those words and would you like to offer Dr. Bernanke a public apology?

5. Jim,  we have interviewed some world renowned money managers here and many of them said to sell commodities and buy bank stocks. What do you think of that trade?

6. Jim, you’ve been a big supporter of China for many years. Seeing the vast amount of fraud being purported by Chinese companies listed in the U.S. as of late, how do you feel about aligning yourself with a bunch of crooks and thieves?

7. Jim, would you buy U.S. real estate right now? If so, what do you think of buying homes, renovating them, and flipping them for short term profits, as an alternative to saving money in a zero interest rate environment?

You have all forgotten who you are dealing with. We are not talking about Alan Greenspan or the fucking dork Volcker. We have a modern day Charles Hamlin at the helm, Ben Bernanke, and his pimp hand is very, very strong. The Dow Jones Industrial Average will peak at 50,000 before he is done with the dollar, grinding it into dust, similar to what I will do to many of you next week.

You know it was a mistake holding shorts over the weekend, right? You know Ben is sitting by the fireside, smoking his pipe, saying “I’m gonna get them bitches on Monday.”

Five consecutive weeks lower, coupled with a slew of front page stories, deriding the economy, on Drudge equals melt up and “shut the fuck up time” for the world equity markets next week.

The power apparatus couldn’t care less about food inflation. They subsidize via food stamps and can easily hedge off that risk. There is no fucking way they let this small snowball avalanche. I realize many of you men, dressed in yellow velcro jumpsuits, are short the markets, based on logic. But we haven’t traded on logic for three motherfucking years now. I’d like you to explain why now is the time to kill it all.

Back to my bottle of wine to drink away the agony and pain of the +54,000 jobs number. Oh, the fucking horror.

This losing week marks the 5th consecutive week of losses for the Dow, something not seen since 2004. For those of you wondering “what the fuck is going on”, hard is what is going on. Life isn’t always easy and the stock market is the quintessential “fuck you, you’re dead” puzzle.

I know you are over there, pulling on a homosexual cigarette, declaring victory over Le Fly. However, as I blow smoke in your face from my Cohiba, I insist “the stage is still set” for a melt up, set to begin on Monday. Starting with Monday’s trading session, I will begin to grind your bones into dust.

It is not a surprise to see the SPY close at exactly 1,300; because that’s what happens when the stage is set. We’ve endured 5 weeks of misery and Bernanke is set to speak on Monday. Over the weekend, the euro fuckers will bail out Greece, effectively destroying the idea of rational thinking—making stocks trade wildly higher, as if coordinated by bi-polar clowns.

Nevertheless, I ended the session down 0.5%, mostly due to WNR. It’s worth mentioning, crack spreads went up all week. One day people will pay attention to the answers and quit asking questions.

In other words, yes, I’m still getting my bow tie on, long inflation related equities in great abundance.