Saturday Cinema at iBC

Welcome to the iBC theatres. Over the next 20 minutes or so, I intend to take you on an egregious journey through iBC history, well documented through our collection of high end cinema.

Grab the family and some popcorn, then sit the fuck down, and familiarize yourself with the iBC lore.

Refinery stocks have been ripping tits as of late. It’s funny because their crack spreads have tightened, markedly. At any rate, all of the earnings for the refiners have been nothing less than stellar. I’ve been less chitty-chatty about them because my WNR position is barely 5% of assets, down from 25%.

I was going to buy ALJ, ahead of earnings yesterday, but forgot to while watching shares of NFLX go on a gorilla run.

I shall not make the same mistake twice.

I closed out the week buying shares of DK, ahead of their earnings report next week. If history is of any use, they will detonate a nuclear bomb on the skeletons of shorts next week.

In summary, I am proudly long WNR and DK (no homo).

Forget about the idiocy that is today. People are selling (mind you and get this) GSVC– because GRPN only soared 45% on its ipo. Well, hello and color me black, but the company has no more than $2 million invested in GRPN. Please listen to me while I sip on black tea infused with bergamot oil:

THE FUCKING COMPANY HAS A SHITLOAD OF CASH AND INVESTMENTS THAT WILL MAKE IT WORTHWHILE.

Was that candid enough?

They have 2 mill in GRPN and almost 7 in Twitter, as well as Facebook. Let me be clear again:

THERE IS NO BETTER WAY FOR THE RETAIL INVESTOR TO GET PRIVATE EQUITY EXPOSURE THAN GSVC.

It is the conduit, the bridge if you will, between the haves and the have nots.

Just so you know, “The Fly” traverses on both sides of the bridge and GSVC has my rapturous attention.

At any rate, I am not accustomed to speaking to you with such respect and levelness, because it isn’t fair to me. So, let me wrap this up with contempt: fuck you little trollops, who eat fig newtons all day and talk shit on Twitter about how fucked up this market is. “The Fly” is making magnanimous moves TO THE UPSIDE in WNR and hated VCR-Killer company, the infamous NFLX.

UPDATE: I sold CIEN and bought DK

I always err on the side of high probability trades. In many respects, investing is simply a game of percentages. There are seasonal factors that can tilt the odds in your favor, if studied correctly. At times, outlier events can throw your high probability trade into a furious tornado, commingled with cows, cars and dumb southerners. Case in point: my decision to get defensive in mid-October, following an 8% run. Little did I know, we were only getting started.

But that’s life and most certainly the market.

Entering November, we have a whole new set of high probability trades. For example, the odds of a positive month, following a gangbuster October, are very high. At the very minimum, you should not be aggressive with shorts here. But the story of November is more complex than other months, all to do L-tryptophan.

THE TURKEY GODS DESCEND UPON YOU and will punch your mustaches off–should you defy their will.

Americans are a great fat and lazy society, a gluttonous people. We like nothing more than to steal land from Native Americans, then have gaudy feasts to celebrate our felonious ways. Once per year, we stuff our faces with meat, potatoes, cranberry sauce and lots of gravy, in an effort to “thank” someone for shit we have no clue about. Thanksgiving is a nonsensical holiday, when grocery stores pillage the checking accounts of the working class, poisoning their bloodstreams with chemical laden meats and vegetables.

Having said that, as a people, we are far too busy focusing on food than to worry about stocks. In addition to food, X-mas is right around the corner. How “awesome and amazing” is that?

You don’t bet against stocks going into Thanksgiving. Period.

There is a time and place for almost anything, sans shit filled protests by vagrants at Wall Street. If you want to bet against America, do it after New Year’s, when we’re too drunk/hungover to realize we’re fucked.

Words cannot describe today’s rally. Therefore, I give you HAM.

I have 5% of my assets getting manhandled via EXH short. I kicked out my VXX hedge when it was +.50 and I sold out of RENN for a 10% loss, thanks to the art of Chinese fraud.

Everything else is absolutely killing it, from GSVC to EXK to AG to CIEN to NFLX. That’s right, NFLX is now my second largest position, long from $80 and I doubled up my position today when it was +.55. In other words, all of my RENN losses, AND MORE, have been made back. All thanks and praise go to the stock Gods. Without them, Senor Tropicana would be playing shuffleboard somewhere in Brooklyn, killing people for sport.

My other Chinese burrito, BORN, is lifting today. But I have little to no faith in Chinese baiju.

I know this market doesn’t make any sense to you. You read the headlines and become confounded by the inverse price action to logic. However, there is a small group of investors out there, cloaked by the secrecy of shadows who knew this rally was coming and will know when it is time to fade it, all supported by the irrefutable laws of mathematics and science of course.

“The Fly” SHOMPS inside The PPT, as it is his burden and task to manage money on an elite level, day in and day out.

EXK

NFLX

AG

I sold out of VXX and applied said monies towards the three stocks mentioned above.

Ahead of the Groupon ipo, I added to my GSVC position.

Groupon is gonna rip tits.

I think I broke my entire hand from punching the shit out of my desk. Fucking RENN tanked today on some article, written in the devil’s language (chinese), sending shares down as much as 10%. What is a person, such as myself, supposed to do when some fuckfaced article in Chinese is calling RENN a fucking liar? I had no choice but to sell and lock in a cocksucking 10% loss. Remember, I was +15% on this same bitch of a whore a few days ago.

The fucking Chinese are a disgraceful people. Shame on their house. I look forward to the day when US aircraft carriers launch drones on Beijing.

With the proceeds, I bought AG and EXK–lots of it. Fuck the world. I hope it blows up and erases all traces of human life for eternity.

I am a bit frazzled this morning. I wish I could write the word “frazzled” in squiggly letters, but I can’t–so this will suffice. Oh, boiler room JEF is getting its cock punched off. See, just when you thought you were having a bad day, some group of assholes are blowing up their franchise. Brighten up Francis.

With regards to JEF: it was down 20% on EUROLAND exposure. This whole thing makes no sense, at all. What the fuck is JEF doing with anything European? These idiots tried to be Goldman, but instead got eaten like a goldfish. Nevertheless, LUK owns 28% of JEF–just in case you were wondering.

Finally, I sense this mornings dip is complete. I need to do two things: 1. recover from this RENN loss. I am pretty sure I will accomplish “suchness” long silver. And, I need to make up for the sheer fuckery taking place in my singular short EXH. Isn’t that sweet? The company is HEMORRHAGING money yet goes full retard to the upside, while WNR yawns it our following great numbers.

The world is backwards and inside out. But then again, it’s always been this way. It’s just amplified when dealing with news events through stocks, which in turn makes us all big fucking drama queens, in one form or another.

UPDATE: I sold out of VXX

UPDATE: I doubled my NFLX position.

Well, it appears the Greek government is collapsing, paving the way for a brand new set of assholes. No one really knows what the new government will say, with regards to austerity and the bailout package. For all we know, the new guy will be a fucking lunatic. I’d be careful chasing stocks here if I was you.

ANF is getting crushed and ANR is soaring. It’s a tale of two cities in the retail and coal space, at least for today.

The ECB cut rates today, but so what. The ECB is way behind the curve.

Short and succinct: I don’t think we should be up so much today. I am hesitant to chase, but reticent to sell longs. In other words, I am in a holding pattern, with a bias towards “something BIG is gonna happen soon.”

In the interim, I will be looking for short term trades.