A New Gilded Age is Upon Us

We are entering a newly minted Gilded Age, where $500 hamburgers will be deemed cheap and entirely beneath the average run of the mill connoisseur. The Bureau of Welfare will be replaced with high end wineries, where aged California reds will auction for $1,000,000—minimum.

I’ve taken the liberty to secure property, in desolate areas in the Northeast corridors of the United States, for the intent and deliberate purpose of making pinless hand grenades. They will make fantastic party favors, during the next Gilded Age.

People will dance in the streets, fat and naked, while men hang off of street lamps, blowing horns and playing accordions— until drunken and gay policemen pay them thousands of dollars to go home. The stock market will bite the faces off of short sellers, like hungry rattle snakes in the midst of a busy basketball court, littered with people in wheeled chairs.

President Obama will be declared a “living God.” The people shall vote him “Emperor for life”; and the republican party will move to Mexico, where they will oversee the important business of sweat shop discipline.

Money will be so plentiful, people will use it to line their kitty litters. And, of course, C-notes will be used as tinder for the traditional and mandatory Saturday afternoon BBQ, in the next Gilded Era.

As for me, I shall seek to destroy all big booted clowns, by way of shooting them out of purple cannons into nuclear power plants. My blog will become a picture zoo for traveling circus enemies and my burgeoning “pinless” hand grenade business.

Before I go into a long-winded rant about how great a “dead dollar” is for stocks and the economy, I would like to acknowledge today’s “fuck you, you’re dead” reversal. There is no way to spin it but badly. Following this mornings spike, the sellers have been out in force, crucifying the long only crowd to their dogma. My guess, the market corrects further tomorrow, producing a mini-panic amongst the true non-believers.

Anyway, if you look at the chart above, you will see your dollars at work. In short, a weak dollar enables U.S. companies to crush their foreign counterparts and enjoy big dicked profits overseas, particularly those companies with big overseas business, like KO and MCD.

In my opinion, as long as the dollar is weak, commodity stocks must be bought, especially on dips. And, if you are a believer in mustard seeds, well then, get long the big multi-nationals, for they will profit most from this situation.

During today’s trade, I took profits on a number of small-crappers. At the present, my cash position is north of 30% and my gains are well above 45%, year to date.

The only small cap stocks worth my long term interest are FTK, ENTR and RFMD. All the other names are simply river boats gambles.

I stepped out for a few hours, in order to throw some bowling balls at pikers. Here we are, at a crossroad of sorts, on the precipice of killing the rally or catapulting short sellers into shark infested waters.

The market is sustained by tech and oil, while signs of weakness can be found in banks.

I said it once and I will say it again: FUCK THE BANKS AND THE GAY UNICORNS THEY RODE IN ON.

Let the rally ferment with the use of idiotic factory and almost dead oil services stocks. That’s where the potential growth is, after all.

To quote a great man, Jeff Macke, “Your portfolio is being managed by car people inside of a chimpanzee tea house.”

With my money, as always, I will endeavor to make money. I am blessed with the pullback in ENTR and will accumulate more. And, if possible, I shall swap out of some of my micro-caps, in exchange for companies with greater substance, such as GLW and IR.

In short, believe nothing but the gold chains around your neck, for they are real. And, never tell a stranger the codes to your money safe.

UPDATE: I sold out of LVLT, north of $1.18.

UPDATE II: I sold out of GMO, north of $1.80 and BEE, north of $1.16.

You want a big cap name, sick of my small crap dice rolls?

Look no further than [[GLW]].

All you need to know: there is a shortage of glass substrates, most commonly used in LCD screens. Apparently, demand for LCD’s is so ridiculous, so absurd, prices are going higher. The #1 maker of the LCD glass, GLW, will enjoy better-than-expected margins. Write that down.

In addition, the largest contract manufacturer of LCD’s, [[AUO]], will enjoy margin expansion too.

As for my small crappers:

I’m feeling RFMD and ENTR right here, right now. RFMD is a straight up chips in handsets play. But ENTR is special. If they execute their business plan flawlessly, the stock will be multiples higher than where it trades today. Their technology is the next evolutionary step in the development of the digital set top box. So you know, they are presenting at a JMP Securities conference today. Listen to the webcast here.

Also, I am a big fan of oil here. The set up is pretty insane and I think the small cap oils are readying to BTFO. Within the space, I like ERX, FTK, SU and maybe a little WRES.

Finally, should STAR continue to dip, I want to get long the name, especially since they own the CDMA core router market. And, by the way, CUZ,, ATHR, NGD and TWI are noteworthy too.

BAC is raising 13 fucking billion dollars. Do you know the balls it takes to do that kind of secondary, at these depressed levels? You need to stop looking at these capital raises, as you might have two years ago. The fact that they are able to raise PRIVATE CAPITAL speaks volumes.

The capital raises are saving the franchises.

The banks are taking their medicine and will be rewarded for it later. Personally, I have no interest in playing the banks, out of pure principal. But, I do not suggest being short.

In the event the economy turns the worm for the better this summer, your short only book will resemble the impact center of Nagasaki, circa 1945.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1p6n5WMFBQ&feature=channel_page 550 400]

The market piped down into the bell, as big nosed sellers jumped into hot tar pits covered with corn flakes. Following yesterday’s gap up, today’s action is the preferred follow through, with the weak selling off and strong powering forward.

Do yourself a favor, take the fucking banks/cre off your screen. They’ve been neutered and are no longer necessary investment vehicles. The government has their mitts in the pudding. They will not give the shorts much of a runway.

In my opinion, it makes more sense to focus on sectors that are growing, like LED’s, chip packaging companies, semiconductor equipment manufacturers, 4g network plays, etc.

As you already know, Ragin’ Cajun and The Chart Addict have been knocking the cover off of steel balls with their picks. RC nailed THQI this morning, for non-ingrates, on The PPT. I just wanted to rub that in.

Gentlemen, summer is just around the corner. Quit being a loser, man up, and get involved with some long side trades, else find yourself inside of a pineapple coffin, ever so prematurely.

I see what you are doing, over there in your bullshit pleather chair. You are trying to time the market again, aren’t you? With all of your so called splendor and pizazz, you are going to buy SRS or FAZ at the very lows of the day and sell it a great deal higher, while slipping all over your office like Jerry Lewis in a B movie. After all, the fucking banks are murderous treason operators, with horns in their pockets and fish in their briefcases.

All good news is to be ignored, indefinitely, until your pathetic 5 figure account is wiped out. You will look back on days like today and say “Gee, maybe I should have listened to that space alien magician from the internets.” Instead, your tweets are as helpful as flaming barrels of garbage, poolside in Bermuda.

With my money, I am buying up shares of ENTR. They make chips that go inside your set top box, enabling you to network all household boxes. In other words, if you record a movie downstairs, using their box, you can watch that movie upstairs or in any other box linked into their “MOCA” goodness. They have good analyst coverage and abundant cash ($30mill). Their customers include VZ, DirecTV, Time Warner and COX. Both Time Warner and COX are new customers, which should help contribute to a sharp revenue ramp in late ’09, early ’10.

In short, ENTR could triple from present values, providing they can keep BRCM off their ass.

In addition, I am waiting to buy more IR and GLW. And, with KLIC ripping here, thanks to Godly guidance, I am itching to buy AMKR or VRGY.

Bottom line: you think too much. Moreover, that is especially detrimental to your financial future since you are a fucking bumbling idiot.

I don’t feel like blogging today. I’d much rather sit here, chuckling at you stupid bastards, as if I was watching a Looney Tunes cartoon. Go ahead, leave a few comments on my “blog” explaining why FAZ is such a great fucking buy here. I guess you did not get the memo: FAZ ISN’T RELEVANT ANYMORE.

Fucking FAZtards.

DOWN AT THESE LEVELS, with great gumption and conviction, THE BANKS ARE GOOD SHORTS, you declare. You must admit, it’s funnier than a loose hand grenade inside a silly factory filled with insurance salesmen.

For those of you who choose to bet against “The Fly” shall get fistfuls of salt and sand thrown in your face.

The stock Gods have blessed my market position a winner. All attempts to derail Plutonium Petey may lead to instant blindness and severe cardiac arrest.

With my money, I want to buy the semi food chain starters, specifically KLIC, SPil, AMKR, ASX, CDNS and TER. And, I will add to loser positions FTK, SFE and ATHR.

NOTE: OVTI is the best iPhone 3 play, in my opinion—a must own.

Why is this so important?

KLIC Kulicke & Soffa increases 3Q rev guidance to $40-45 mln vs $34.85 mln dual analyst estimate (3.70 +0.34)

The co announces that the co has raised its revenue outlook for its fiscal third quarter ending June 27, 2009. The Company now expects net revenue for the third fiscal quarter to be in the range of $40 to $45 million, an increase from the previously forecasted range of $32 to $37 million. Scott Kulicke, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer, commented, “The increase in customer activity that we saw near the end of our second quarter of 2009 is continuing into our third quarter. Improvement is being seen across all areas of our business, particularly in expendable tools and ball bonders.” (stock is halted)

A riddle of sorts for you lazy gamers.